Zitao had made his decision and when he made up his mind, there was no going back.

When The Khan had called for warriors, Zitao was worried. His father was too old to go to war and he didn't have any older brothers-- even he was too young to go to war in his father's place.

But one night, he made his choice and left his home, taking his father's armor and a horse from the stable and went on his way to war, despite only being sixteen.

Three days later, Zitao arrived at the camp his father was supposed to be at.

"Zitao," he said to himself, looking down the hill at the camp with over two hundred men in it. "You're here to protect your father and your leader. Be strong."

Slowly, with guilt and hesitation clinging to him like the hot, early summer air, he rode into the camp, barely even getting a glance from the others that were at work around him. Once he had found a tent that looked nicer than all the others, he dismounted stiffly. A man, slightly taller than him with strange, light colored hair, exited the tent and Zitao bowed. The man was wearing fine armor and he was probably the captain of this camp.

"Huang Zitao reporting." He held out the small piece of paper that had the summons on it. It had his father's name, but he supposed he was tall enough to pass as eighteen. He just prayed this man would believe that he was that age instead of younger.

"This isn't your name on here," the man said, crumpling it in his fist.

"It's my father's but he is too old to fight and I came in his place."

The man studied him, his dark eyes running over Zitao's face and down his armored body. Zitao worried if he would pass this test. Everything depended on it.

"You don't look old enough but I'll trust that you are. Ao will show you to your tent and he will tell you when to present yourself for training." Zitao's heart unclenched and he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The man disappeared back into his tent and another man appeared a little while later, this one in average clothing.

Zitao dutifully followed him to a tent on the north side of camp and held it open. "Horse stays out here," was all he said when Zitao had been about to walk into the tent, his horse still in tow. He handed over the reigns sheepishly, allowing Ao to take his horse somewhere once he'd gathered his things. Before he disappeared, Ao told him that at dusk, he was to come back to the Captain's tent for a word.

Zitao looked around to lay his things down but only found a spot about as big as he was in the far back corner. Sighing, he dropped the bag down and when he sat down next to them, he wanted to cry but he knew he shouldn't. It might give it away that he's not old enough to be there. He knew he needed to be strong.

He just held his face in his hands until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw a man not much older than him, most likely eighteen.

"It's okay, I understand. It's scary at first but soon you get used to being away from home."

Zitao wanted to laugh. He wasn't homesick, he was terrified that he'd die or someone would find out how old he really was. "Thanks," is all he said when he noticed that the sun was sinking lower, nearly touching the hills around them. He stood and left the tent with the kind man behind him without another word.

At the captain's tent, he took a deep breath before entering.

It was dim inside, the light from the setting sun was the only source of light, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust but he bowed anyway.

"Zitao," he heard in the twilight. It was the captain. He looked around and there was no one else in the tent. The captain sat at a low table with a map and various papers scattered across it. "Sit down. I have a few questions for you." His deep voice made Zitao shiver, scared. This man was terrifying and Zitao did not want to sit down but did as he was told. He knew the way to get by was to obey orders, whatever they were, so he sat on the opposite end of the table and looked at his captain's face.

He was pleasing to look at, with no blemishes to be found. His nose was long and his cheekbones were higher than average. His square chin and long jaw gave him an appearance of strength and age, though he probably wasn't over 30.

"You came a day late. I would like to know why." His slightly loud voice startled Zitao a little and he jumped. He had never been a fan of raised voices and he was sure that was where this would end up.

"I--" he started but when the captain leaned back, he lost his train of thought. That was very distracting.

"Well?" he prodded and Zitao scrambled to gather his thoughts.

"I--" he tried to breathe evenly. "I had some family matters to settle before leaving." It was true. He had had an argument with his father the night he had left regarding his ability to fight due to his age. His father had hit Zitao across the face for his disobedience and disrespect, leaving a fine scratch on his cheek from his unkempt fingernails. As for how long it took to arrive, he might have gotten lost once or twice.

"I see." The captain rubbed his chin. "Tell me some of your skills."

He brightened. This was something he was proud about. "I am fair with a sword and staff but I am quite good at hand-to-hand combat." That might have been a slight stretch seeing as how he had only been in training for his martial arts and hadn't actually fought someone.

"And riding?"

"I was the best rider in my village." A village that only consisted of old men and women and young children. There had been only one other boy that was a little older than him but he had died working in the fields one day-- trampled by a horse.

The captain leaned on his elbows on the table. "You look very young. I'm sure the women love you." Zitao just nodded and hoped that the lie went unseen. "I need as many men as I can get so you had better stay because if you don't--" He left it open at the end but Zitao knew what he wasn't saying. If he left, deserted, he would be found and killed.

He nodded and the captain smiled. "I'm glad you understand. Now, report to the training field at dawn with the rest of the men. I won't go easy on you because of your thin figure or your baby face. You have to earn the honor you will get from being a soldier. Dismissed." He waved his hand in the air and Zitao stumbled to his feet and bowed before practically running from the tent.

Before dawn, Zitao woke to the sound of coughing and movement. He rubbed his eyes as he stood and as he dressed, a hand touched his shoulder just like the day before. It was the same man too.

"Nice to see you decided to stay." He seemed so kind and Zitao knew he could make a friend in him. “My name's Xian. You might want to hurry. Training begins right at dawn. You don't need your armor today or even for the time here unless Yi Fan says so."

"Yi Fan?" Zitao asked, struggling to put on his shoes while still being sleepy.

"The captain. He's one hell of a tough guy and not one to make angry. Be careful around him. I feel like he has something to hide and it's something dangerous."

"How would you know?"

The man looked at him with his cold dark eyes. "Because I heard him talking with Ao the other night about this war. Doesn't it seem strange? Suddenly, out of nowhere, China is called to war and we're the pawns to use at will. Yi Fan has no idea what's going on. Or so he says. He was talking to Ao, saying how we're not going to survive. That's all I heard before I was pulled away by my brother. That's why I want you to be careful. Yi Fan isn't telling us everything and we haven't even fought together." He sighed and shook his head. "Just keep your head down and don't attract attention." He left after that, leaving Zitao with more things to worry about. He suddenly realized just how deep he was in. He could be killed in this war, he could be discovered and killed, he could be killed for running away. He was in deep and he hadn't thought this all the way through.

Zitao collapsed on his mat in the tent that night, completely exhausted from the training he had endured for hours on end. Yi Fan was right-- he wasn't going to go easy on him. He had noticed that he had been pitted against twice as many men as anyone else. His left shin was black and swollen from training and he wasn't sure just how he had gotten it but it hurt like hell to walk on.

Yi Fan had stopped by him in the middle of training when the sun was at its peak and he had a wicked grin plastered on his face. "Not what you thought it would be, pretty boy? Don't worry, it only gets harder from here on out." And then he had walked away, cold as ever. He felt that the captain was rough and rude, not giving a second thought to help anyone out.

"Huang Zitao."

He lifted his head to see Ao standing in the entrance of the tent.

"The captain would like a word." He disappeared just as fast as he had appeared.

Zitao stood up painfully, feeling every bruise and cut on his body. Today had been hell and he knew it wasn't going to end anytime soon. He felt the regret riding him, wearing him thinner than the hard workout.

Slowly, he made his way to Yi Fan's tent. It was getting dark and as he was walking, a group of men ran past and knocked him to the ground. They didn't stop to help him up and he tried to stand up but couldn't. He must have smacked his head just right on a rock when he fell. His body was too worn out and he was now sure that his shin had a strong possibility of being broken at least a little. His head spun and he couldn't see clearly, stomach churnning. He just wanted to cry but he knew that wasn't the answer.

Two minutes later and Zitao was still on the ground. He had tried to get up for a while but he had given up. His leg hurt too much and he was still dizzy and nauseous. Slowly, his vision started to go black and he just gave up even trying.

"Zitao!"

He opened his eyes slowly but he couldn't see anything and began to panic. Swinging out, his fist connected with a face and he heard a deep voice grunt and then he was being crushed by a heavy body on top of his own. When he realized he couldn't move, he stopped struggling and wished for whoever it was to get off him.

"Are you done?" Zitao nodded and the person got off and he could breathe again. A hand was still resting on his stomach but he didn't mind.

"Where am I and why can't I see?"

"You're in my tent and I haven't lit the lamp since I bandaged your head and leg. I thought you would sleep better without it." That's when Zitao realized it was Yi Fan and then he remembered what had happened. He had fallen and wasn't able to get up and passed out. So somehow, he'd been brought back to Yi Fan's tent and here he was.

“Then why did you wake me up like that if you wanted me to sleep?”

“You shouldn't sleep too long when you've hit your head. I've seen what happens and they don't ever get better after that.”

His eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness around him and he could see Yi Fan's figure above him. It occurred to him that he must be lying in Yi Fan's bed and he felt his face rush with heat. He tried to sit up but was pushed back down by the hand on his stomach.

"You're in no shape to be moving around. Stay here for the night and I'll check on you in the morning."

"But where will you sleep?"

"Next to you so I know you won't run away. Now move over so I can sleep too."

Zitao moved to the very edge of the mat and Yi Fan slid under the thin blanket. Their arms were slightly touching and it was quiet besides their mixed breathing. Zitao felt slightly uncomfortable but he was too tired to care. Soon, Zitao drifted back into sleep but not before he felt Yi Fan touch his face and sigh a little and Zitao was too far into sleep to wonder about it.

It was bright out when Zitao woke and when he realized that it was past dawn, he shot up but felt dizzy almost immediately and had to lay back down. Groaning, he sat up slowly after a minute and his head throbbed. There was a bandage around his head and when he tried to move his left leg, he was met with horrible pain. A tight bandage was around it with a thick stick pressed against his bare shin, his pant leg having been rolled up. He was sure that he wouldn't be able to walk for the rest of the week, if not longer.

This time, when tears filled his eyes, he let them fall. He had failed. He had brought dishonor on his family by not being able to fight and defend those he loved. He hadn't even last two days.

The tent was opened and Zitao hurried to wipe his tears away.

"You're awake." It was Yi Fan but he didn't have a hint of cruelty in his voice like he had while speaking to him on the training field the day before. He sat down next to Zitao and smiled. "How are you feeling today?"

Zitao just looked at him with his tear-filled eyes and Yi Fan lost his smile. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Why are you being so kind to me when yesterday you were so cold? Why aren't you out training the rest of the men-- where I should be?" He sniffled a bit and Yi Fan's voice was hushed.

"Because I care about the welfare of my men. I'm taking care of you until you can walk but that might mean you sit here for a while. I'll wait thought. I will make sure you're better before we ride out in two months." He put his hand on Zitao's shoulder and smiled. "I think you remind me of someone-- probably not-- but I've taken a liking to you. I want to protect you as much as I can."

Zitao didn't know what to say so he just nodded. He let Yi Fan look at the bandage around his head and change it but he didn't move his large hand from Zitao's neck and just stared at him for a while with a softness in his eyes.

When it began to feel uncomfortable, Zitao coughed and Yi Fan realized where his hand still was and pulled it away.

"I'm sorry," he said with a slight blush in his cheeks. "That was inappropriate of me."

"That's fine. I'm just glad someone is taking care of me because I wouldn't be able to do it by myself." He couldn't help but think about the touch from the night before and why Yi Fan hadn't moved his hand. He thought of the one time a family had moved into his village and they had had a girl his age. They had had a short romance before they had left just as suddenly so he wasn't a stranger to affection of this kind. He wasn't sure how he felt about the giver of this affection being his captain.

It was quiet for a moment until Ao walked into the tent.

"Captain, someone is here to speak with you. He's been sent from the Palace." He left and Yi Fan sighed.

"It seems as though I must leave." He stood and smiled. "I don't need to tell you to stay put because I know you'll do so anyway."

Zitao didn't have time to protest before the tent was shut once again.

Later that night, Zitao was woken from his sleep when Yi Fan held his hand to his mouth. "Don't say a word and don't move," Yi Fan whispered, his body pressed into Zitao's, and then he moved away silently. Before he left the tent, he threw the blanket over Zitao's head and grabbed his sword that was next to the mat they slept on.

Zitao didn't move but his breathing quickened. What was going on?

He was about to get up to find Yi Fan when he heard yelling and the clash of metal.

"Fire!" he heard from a shorter distance away and his heart raced even more. He threw the blanket off and sat up. Through the tent, he could see the orange of flames and he knew it was close. He tried to stand but couldn't and he fell to the ground with a yelp.

Ao came into the tent, his eyes wide. "Why are you still in here? Run!"

"I can't. My leg," he tried to stand again but Ao grabbed him and led him to the opening without trouble.

"Wait here for a moment." Ao turned and grabbed as many papers off Yi Fan's table as he could. He found a staff and handed it to Zitao. "Go now. I'll catch up. Protect those with your life." He passed the map and most of the papers to him before turning back for more.

Zitao nodded and left. He wasn't too far away when he turned and saw the tent go up in flames.

Terror ran through his veins and he tried to run but his leg made it difficult. It was more like a slow walk and it made him even more scared. The only reason Yi Fan would have left the tent like that was if the enemy was there. And the fires were another insight to his conclusion.

They had been found.

He tried to hurry, deciding to go north since the fires were to the south, when a man ran from between tents. He was wearing armor and had a sword out. He wasn't familiar and Zitao knew that he was one of the raiders. The man saw him and ran toward him, poised to kill. Zitao was an injured man who couldn't run and didn't have a weapon and he knew his time was now. It was either do or die and he wanted to live.

He dropped the papers to the ground and swung the staff he was relying so heavily on in a practiced move. It caught the man in the side of his uncovered head and he fell to the ground, groaning and clutching his head. Zitao noticed he had dropped his sword and he leaned down to take it when he fell to the ground as well. His right leg couldn't hold all of his weight, being as sore as he was from the training, and he knew that he wasn't getting back up without help. Abandoning the staff, he dragged himself over to the sword and once he had a hold of it, he made his way over to the man. Once he was next to the raider, he went up on his knees, holding the sword over the man's neck but hesitated. This would be his first murder and he wasn't sure if he could handle it. He knew that it would stay with him forever. He was only sixteen and he was already killing people.

The man suddenly moved and grabbed his left shin hard-- the bandaged one-- and Zitao screamed and the sword down into the man's throat without another thought. The raider's screams didn't last long and he quickly died but Zitao's vision was going black again because of the man's vice-like grip on his leg. Wavering, he fell on top of the bloody corpse and passed out.

“Zitao, is that you?"

Once again, he was woken by the sound of his name being called. He moaned and opened his eyes but screamed when he saw what he was on. Painfully scrambling away from the dead man, he panted and his eyes filled with tears once he remembered what he had done. Seeing it in bright daylight didn't help.

The person who had called his name rushed to his side and grabbed his face. It was Xian. He forced Zitao to look at him and it calmed him a little but not much. He was in panic mode and he slapped him hard. That got Zitao to focus and breathe a little.

"You're fine! Don't think about it and you'll be okay."

"Where's Yi Fan?" he practically yelled and the hand on his jaw tightened and shook his throbbing head. Once his eyes focused on his friend's, all he saw what could have been disappointment. "Don't tell me he's dead. He can't be dead! He's the captain! Someone has to lead us!"

Xian smiled despite the look in his eyes. "He's not dead but he's been hurt. I thought I told you to keep your head down and stay away from the captain. And where have you been? Your things are still at the tent and I haven't seen you since training two days ago. What happened to your head and your leg?"

"Take me to the captain. I have to see him." Zitao ignored the questions and tried to stand and found he still couldn't. The events from the night before had drained him and he was surprised that he had moved away from the dead man so fast.

"No one can see him right now. He's been hurt badly. And when told of Ao's death he seemed even worse. I believe someone might have told him you were dead as well. We lost a good amount of men last night, so he might not have heard about everyone."

Zitao couldn't think of anything else besides the fact that Yi Fan was hurt. He couldn't quite explain to himself why he felt the need to run to him but his heart was telling him to go. But then he suddenly remembered the papers he had dropped last night and looked around and saw them on the ground.

"I need to take those to the captain as fast as possible. They were in his tent and Ao told me to take them on my way out before it went up in flames. He told me to protect them. I need to give them to Yi Fan."

Xian looked confused. "Why were you in the captain's tent last night?"

"It doesn't matter. Just take me to him."

"Fine but I don't like this." He found the staff from last night and handed it to Zitao before picking up the papers from the ground.

Slowly, they made their way to the east side of camp without another word. Images of the raider's face as the sword pierced his throat plagued Zitao and he tried to push them away but he couldn't. It was wearing him down and he could feel himself getting more and more tired with each painful step he took.

Xian stopped suddenly in front of an average tent and handed Zitao the papers. "You know where to find me if you decide to come back." And he left without a goodbye.

Zitao took a deep breath before pushing into the dark tent.

"I thought I said I wanted to be alone." Yi Fan sounded angry. He was lying on the other end of the tent on his back but he had fabric covering his face.

"Yi Fan," Zitao said and Yi Fan ripped the fabric off his face. His eyes widened when he saw Zitao standing in his tent and he tried to sit up but didn't make it. He grimaced and laid back down. Zitao made his way over to him and carefully sat down next to the mat.

He suddenly realized that neither of them were wearing shirts but Yi Fan had a bandage around his stomach while Zitao's skin was stained with the raider's dried blood. He remembered he had been shirtless when he had fallen asleep last night because he had been too warm with Yi Fan next to him.

"You're not dead." He to his right side and reached out for Zitao. His eyes were wide with some emotion Zitao couldn't place. "But you have blood on you. Is it yours?"

"I killed a man last night trying to run away. I couldn't get away and I killed him." His voice caught and his eyes filled with tears again, this time falling down his cheeks. He stared at his hands and saw dark splotches on them and all he wanted to do was wash it all away.

Yi Fan reached out and brushed Zitao's tears away. "You cry a lot for a man but I understand your distress." He smiled as Zitao let out a strained laugh that sounded like he was choking but it wasn't for the reason he thought. He had called Zitao a man and for some reason, it was funny to Zitao. Of all moments to be reminded of his age.

His tears slowed and Yi Fan's hand drifted from his face to his hands that still clutched the papers he had saved. "What are these?"

"Ao gave them to me and told me to run. That was before your tent burned to the ground with him still in it. He saved my life and some of your work." He smiled despite the horrible news he had just delivered. "If only he could have been there the second time I nearly died, I wouldn't be in as bad of shape right now and he would be alive."

Yi Fan rubbed his fingers over Zitao's bloody knuckles. "I understand."

They were quiet and Yi Fan kept his hand on Zitao's for a while. It was comforting to be here with Yi Fan and to feel his warm hand over his. It didn't feel strange like it should have and they didn't move. Zitao noticed the sun was nearing its peak when he suddenly felt tired. Yi Fan was already asleep when Zitao laid down next to him and curled in close to the bigger man, promptly falling asleep.

It was dark when Zitao woke again but this time peacefully. His head was on Yi Fan's chest and his arms were around his waist, right below the bandage. He shifted a bit and Yi Fan's arm tightened around him. Looking up, he saw that Yi Fan was already awake.

"Zitao," he said, his voice rough. "I thought it was a dream. I thought I would wake up and you'd be dead." He smiled and ran his long fingers through Zitao's black hair.

"I'm not that easy to kill."

Yi Fan laughed but cringed and stopped immediately. "I'm going to need your help changing the bandage. First, help me sit up."

Slowly, Zitao pushed him into a sitting position but Yi Fan was groaning from the pain

"I think it's bleeding again, so please be careful." Zitao began to unwrap the tight cloth, his body close to Yi Fan's.

The deep gash in his side was certainly bleeding again and Yi Fan's breath hitched when the bandage came off. Zitao pressed a clean cloth he had found into Yi Fan's left side to try to stop the bleeding. Before long, he needed to add another piece and the blood wasn't soaking through this time. Carefully, Zitao wrapped a clean bandage around his middle but paused every now and then to let Yi Fan breathe. Soon it was on tight enough that it would stay but not too tight so he couldn't breathe. His head rested on Zitao's shoulder with his eyes shut tight.

"Let me change the one on your head. It's covered in blood and it might not be your own," he said once his heart returned to normal and the pain had died down a bit.

It was still quite dark in the tent but neither of them could walk to the center of the tent to light a lamp. Yi Fan's face was close to Zitao's so he could see as he changed the dirty bandage around his head and once it was done, they stayed close, looking at each other. Yi Fan leaned a little bit more in, closing the already small gap between their faces and when he saw that Zitao wasn't moving away, he leaned the last little bit and pressed his lips to Zitao's.

It wasn't more than that. Just a small kiss but it was enough for Zitao to realize how he felt. He knew that even though he'd only met Yi Fan just days earlier, he had already come to like him. He knew that Yi Fan had softened when he had found Zitao hurt or else he wouldn't have taken care of him, so he must feel the same way. Yi Fan pulled away and Zitao put a hand on his neck, keeping him close. They didn't move until they heard the tent open and Zitao scooted back a foot.

"Captain, word has been sent from the Palace." The man left just as quick as he had arrived. It surprised Zitao for a moment that it wasn't Ao who had come in but then he remembered and his stomach dropped. How could he have forgotten?

Yi Fan looked at his hands in his lap, embarrassed. "I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have done it. I'm supposed to be your leader not your lover."

"We can talk about this later. You should go talk to the messenger." He grabbed the staff he had left on the ground and managed to get up. He held out his hand to pull Yi Fan up but he shook his head.

"Leave me and send in the messenger. Be careful." Even though he sounded angry, he still sent a word of caution. Zitao bowed and hobbled his way out. Yi Fan's return to formality shocked Zitao a little. Was he mad at him for returning the kiss? Was he mad that they had been interrupted?

The messenger was waiting by the entrance. He wore fancy clothes made to look average and Zitao inwardly scowled. He hated the rich people who lived and worked at the Palace.

"The captain will see you now," he growled and slowly walked away, his good mood ruined.

Within half an hour, he had made it to his tent. There had been no training today, he was sure. They were too busy their wounds. Inside, Xian was sharpening his sword.

"You came back," he smiled when Zitao limped into the tent, panting from the effort. "Come, sit down next to me."

Zitao just shook his head and laid down in the spot he had chosen when he had first arrived. Soon, silent tears were falling down his cheeks but he wasn't sure why he was crying. Sometimes, he could never tell why he felt such things. His body was aching and it was late so he quickly fell asleep.

The next day, he was writing a letter home, letting his family know he was safe despite the fact that he had disobeyed orders and news of the attack was sure to have spread by now, so they must be worried.

"Father, I know that I am only sixteen and too young to fight but I wanted to keep you safe. I will come back once this war is over and I'll have made you proud. I know I haven't made the wrong decision and I hope you see that too. You're safer at home while I'm here. I have no one to take care of while you have Liu to care for, so it was best that I came. It would be easier to lose me than if I was to lose you. I couldn't live life without a father.”

He signed it and thought about where he could take it so it would end up at home. He decided he would ask Yi Fan to send it as a favor, knowing that he would do it.

Slowly, he made his way to the tent that Yi Fan was in. Once he arrived, he waited a moment before going in. Was he angry with him because Yi Fan didn't call for him last night? Or maybe he just wanted to be alone after what the messenger had said or even because of the kiss. Nevertheless, he sighed before entering and was shocked to see Yi Fan standing.

"Yi Fan," Zitao said and the man turned around with a grimace until he saw who it was. A sad smile spread across his face as he slowly walked toward him, enveloping him in a hug.

"Why didn't you come last night?"

"I thought you didn't want me here since you didn't send for me."

"I will always want you to be here, even if I am angry or if I don't say so." He looked Zitao in the eye with complete seriousness. "I told you that I cared about you and I wasn't lying."

"Okay." He leaned into Yi Fan's shoulder and sighed. If only he knew just how old he was, he wouldn't want him around. He wouldn't care for him anymore. He would throw him away and leave him to die. He knew it wouldn't matter if Yi Fan cared for him once the truth came out. This made his heart ache. He didn't want to leave Yi Fan. He didn't want to die.

"Are you okay?" Yi Fan asked.

"Yes," he lied. "I also wanted to ask if you could send this to my parents so they know I'm safe. They didn't exactly want me to come so I left in the middle of the night." He held out the folded piece of paper. He had made sure the ink was dry before he had folded it so it wouldn't smudge. "Can I sleep here for a bit? I'm so tired."

"Of course you can. I'll see about sending this back with the messenger from yesterday. Where do you live?"

"Qingdao." He carefully laid down on Yi Fan's bed while the man came to sit by him and ran his fingers through his hair like he had done the day before until he fell asleep. Zitao was sure that Yi Fan had been singing quietly before he drifted off completely and he smiled.

"Get up."

A swift kick to his ribs woke him up and he began to cough. He looked up and it was Yi Fan, obviously angry.

"Is everything okay?" he began to ask but was met with a punch to the face. His head swung back and when he sat back up, Yi Fan's face was twisted in not only anger, but hurt.

"Don't talk to me like that you child," he spat. "You lied to me. You lied to everyone here. By coming here, you even lied to the Khan."

Zitao flinched. He knew it would come out but he was sure it wouldn't be so soon. "How--"

"I read the letter. Why would you do such a thing? Why would you come when you knew that you had to be eighteen?"

Zitao didn't know what to say and so he looked down at his hands. He was still sitting in Yi Fan's bed and his ribs hurt like hell along with his head.

"Why would you betray me like that? When I actually cared about you."

Zitao looked up and saw that Yi Fan had tears in his eyes and it broke his heart. The anger had completely left his face now as the tears slowly rolled down his cheeks. If only he could make it all go away, Zitao would in a heartbeat.

"I should have your head for doing this." Zitao's eyes widened and he was about to plead for his life when Yi Fan sat down, not even looking at him."But I won't kill you."

He must have looked confused because Yi Fan took his hand, looking up at him. "I want you to leave before dawn. Leave and never return." He put the folded note into his hands.

"I--"

"Don't argue with me Zitao!" he shouted. "You've disobeyed everyone. If I were to tell people about this, you would bring dishonor on your family and a sword onto your neck."

They were quiet for a minute before Yi Fan spoke again. "My order still stands. You will leave or I will be forced to kill you."

Zitao only nodded before he tried to stand without the staff but fell instead on top of Yi Fan. "I'm sorry," he said before rolling off. But Yi Fan held his arms, looking him in the eye and Zitao could see the man fighting himself. He moved his face closer to Zitao's as if he was going to kiss him but he caught himself and scowled.

"Go," he said pushing him off harshly. "If I see you again, I will kill you."

Zitao stood, the staff now in hand, and walked as fast as he could out of the tent to go find his horse and make the journey home.

"What do you mean you're leaving? What did the captain mean?" Xian was helping Zitao load his things onto his horse before darkness hit.

"I don't know," he lied. "Yi Fan just told me to take this to the Palace." He held out his folded letter and continued his lie. Before Xian could take the note from his hands, he stuffed it into his bag. "Thank you for helping me as much as you have."

"But do you really have to go?"

"When the captain gives you an order, do you follow it?" It was a rhetorical question and he went to get on his horse but couldn't without help. Xian lifted him onto the horse and smiled sadly, waving goodbye.

Zitao was only a day away from camp when he heard voices on the other side of the Yellow River. He was glad that he was hidden by trees because once he heard what the men were saying, he knew it was the raiders.

“They still have just under two hundred men. We need to tell Chao this information or else he'll try to charge in there and we'll be outnumbered badly. Soon, Captain Yi Fan will need to be taken out. We can't afford to have him around if we plan on killing the Khan. We need to come up with a plan to trick him out of the camp."

Zitao's heart stopped. Kill Yi Fan and then kill the Khan? But he couldn't go back to warn Yi Fan because he would be killed. If he went to the Khan, he might be too late to save Yi Fan and he might have to tell the Khan why he was sent away from camp. Either way he could be killed.

But he needed do something, even if it meant he would die.

Quickly, he turned his horse around and sped back to camp.

“Yi Fan!" he shouted as he rode up to the tent.

The man came out slowly, sword in hand. "I thought I told you to leave and never come back."

"But I heard the raiders! They plan to kill you and then the Khan. You have to leave as quickly as you can." He knew staying on his horse was the best idea given that he might have to run from Yi Fan.

"Why should I believe you? You lied to me already."

"That was different. Right now, I'm trying to save your life."

More men were starting to gather to see what was going on and Yi Fan came closer to Zitao to keep his words only between them. "I don't believe you."

"Please believe me," he pleaded. "You have to believe me."

"I don't. Now leave, before I have to keep my promise." Yi Fan seemed cold, removed. Why was he like this when other people were around?

"Fine, I'll find someone else who cares." He pulled away and didn't look back, even though it hurt.

"Hey," he said when he saw his friend outside the tent they had shared.

"Why are you back so soon?" He looked surprised to see Zitao.

"I need your help. Will you come with me?"

"You know what will happen if I leave. I won't go with you."

"Do you want to save the Khan?" Zitao rose an eyebrow and Xian's eyes widened. "I know what I'm talking about. Get a horse and two others and meet me outside the camp at dusk." Zitao didn't wait for an answer.

At dusk, Zitao was about to pack up and climb onto his horse with some difficulty when he heard voices coming from the direction of camp. It was Xian.

"I came. Are you happy?" He dismounted and stood in front of Zitao. There was only one other man that came and he frowned but that was when another man came out of the shadows.

It was Yi Fan.

With a scowl, he stepped down off his horse. "I only came because Xian asked me to. Don't expect me to do much unless you really are telling the truth."

"How did he convince you?"

“I don't think it matters that much.”

Zitao raised an eyebrow. “I think it does,” he argued.

“I don't think you deserve the truth right now, not when you lied to me about your age.” Zitao's face showed just how hurt he was.

He was about to complain when Xian spoke. "Wait? You're how old? Aren't you eighteen?"

"No, he's not. He's only sixteen. He lied to us all, for a good reason, but that still doesn't mean anything. I should have killed him when I found out." Yi Fan sounded angry again and Zitao could do nothing but stare at the ground in shame. Xian didn't say anything and neither did the other man. "Are we going to go find these raiders so they don't destroy China?" Yi Fan proposed. “That doesn't mean that I believe you, but I'll play along with your game as if it were true.”

Zitao smiled. That was the best he was going to get. "Actually, I have a plan."

The next evening, the small group of men had found the camp of raiders still next to the Yellow River. No one enjoyed Zitao's plan, especially Yi Fan who had argued against it heavily, but it was the only thing they could think of that might work.

The three able men climbed into the trees as Zitao crossed the river on his horse and right into the raider's camp.

No one really noticed him at first but the next thing he knew, he was pulled to the ground painfully and a sword at his throat. He silently prayed that his companions didn't blow their cover just yet because they needed to find out just how many raiders there were.

His leg was throbbing again and he fought the urge to scream when a man kicked him in the bandaged shin. Only three men were around him and he hoped there weren't many more. He was sure that just a few men were in charge of the attack on the camp, so he was optimistic.

"Who are you?" asked the man with the sword at his neck.

"I'm Huang Zitao. I used to be a solider for China." He probably looked really pitiful down there on the ground at the mercy of these men but he said it with such conviction that the sword was pulled back.

"Why are you here? Why aren't you at a camp?”

"Because it was discovered that I'm only sixteen. I was kicked out by my captain.” He figured he might as well tell them the truth.

The man scoffed. "How were you injured?"

"Training. My captain tried to kill me. I know that you would love to get your hands on him and I know where to find him. Would you like my help?"

The man with long hair in a braid furrowed his eyebrows. "Why would we want your help to get him? Do you think we can't do it ourselves?"

"I think you might want a little help. I know how he is and he won't give up easily.”

"I don't believe you." The third man who had a bald head frowned.

"Why doesn't anyone believe me when I tell the truth? Please, let me take you to him. He's already wounded. If you threaten to make it worse, he'll cave right then. He's a coward who doesn't care one bit for anyone else except himself." He sat up and his head swirled. He must have bumped his head when he was dragged off his horse.

"What do we do, Chao?" the bald man asked the man with the sword. Chao must be the leader, then.

He mulled it over for a bit before nodding his head. "Why are you so willing to give us what we want?"

"He threatened to take my life if he ever saw me again. All I was trying to do was protect my family and that's why I lied about my age. But now, I want revenge on my captain." He really wanted to hit Yi Fan for hurting him after he found out though he didn't want to actually kill him. He suspected that his feelings ran a little deep for Yi Fan and he knew that the older man felt the same way.

"How did you know where to find us?"

"When I was kicked out of camp, I came back this way to go home. I decided that I really wanted revenge and figured you would be the best to ask for help."

"I'm still having a hard time believing you. What makes you think we'll accept your offer? What makes you so sure that he'll do what you say he'll do?" The bald man pulled out a knife and pointed it at Zitao. That made two blades at him.

Zitao paused for a moment, debating whether or not to mention it but it was probably the best thing to do since it might help convince them. "Captain Yi Fan is in love with me and I know that even though he may not show it, he'd do anything to protect me." He then realized that he had changed his story. He hoped they didn't notice it.

The three men looked at each other. "Are you sure?" Chao asked.

"He kissed me and insisted that I stay in his tent when I was injured. That was before he found out how old I am. But even when he told me to leave, he said that he didn't want to kill me when he should have." The men didn't say anything. "Do I have to tell you more details about our brief relation or shall we get down to business?"

Zitao soon found himself next to a warm fire with warm food and he realized that for the first time, he felt safe ironically. The raiders-- there were only fifteen of them left, the rest having been sent to different camps and never returning-- were careful to keep him happy. It must have been said to the rest that he would be their key to winning the war when it was looking so bleak.

But deep down, Zitao was struggling to keep his cover. This was stressful and he knew that he was walking a very fine line with this. He had to end it tonight before he lost his nerve and before his friends decided to leave and find a different way.

The sun was almost completely gone when Chao took a seat next to him by the fire. "So, what is your plan?"

This is where Zitao had to make it up as he went along. He hadn't really expected to convince the raiders to take him in. "We need to go to the camp so I can convince Yi Fan to meet me beyond the camp. Once we're in the hills, then you can take over. But all I ask is that you don't kill me if things don't go according to plan."

"Why shouldn't I? If you don't deliver, you're useless to me."

Zitao stopped for a heartbeat, panic fluttering in his chest. "Because I'm a coward and just a boy. I'm sure my family would like to know I'm alive." Maybe I'm asking too much but I really want to live.

"Fine. Besides, the captain will try to kill you first once he finds out it's a trap. I don't think that love will last very long when he sees us." Chao scoffed when he said “love”, as if he still didn't believe it.

"He kicked me while I was down and then told me to leave when he should have killed me by law. I don't think he's going to kill me now." Please don't kill me.

Chao nodded. "When should we leave?"

"Tonight. It takes about a day to reach the camp." He hoped he didn't sound too eager to leave but it must have sounded right because Chao stood and began to gather the raiders.

It was completely dark, the moon hidden behind the clouds, when they began to cross the river-- toward Yi Fan, Xian and his brother Xing. It had been a long time since they had arrived and Zitao hoped they were awake and prepared to fight.

Once on land and under the trees his friends were in, Chao grabbed Zitao's arm and looked him in the eye. "None of my men will be harmed or our former agreement about your survival will no longer apply."

Zitao couldn't help but nod and hope Yi Fan especially hadn't heard it. They hadn't walked far from the trees when they heard a short yell that ended quickly. Chao turned and five men were on the ground, all raiders. The yell had come from a sixth one that Xian had had no choice but to stab instead of breaking his neck.

The moon came out from behind the clouds and illuminated the ground they were on. Yi Fan's eyes caught Zitao's and he rushed forward, taking out two more raiders before Chao held his jagged sword to Zitao's neck. Zitao let out a small yelp before Yi Fan held up his hands in defeat. Only six of the raiders were left, not including Chao, and the brothers noticed Zitao's capture and gave up as well.

Chao threw him to the ground and just his luck, Zitao's head hit a rock and he nearly lost consciousness but managed to stay awake. He tried to sit up but Chao's sword was pointing at his face, so he stayed on the ground, turning his head to look at Yi Fan.

"So, the great Yi Fan followed this boy here. Was this a trap? I'd suppose so, judging by his changing story earlier. He called you a coward but when that didn't work, he told us that you were in love with him. Interesting story, isn't it?" Chao's men grabbed each of his friends and forced them to their knees, blades almost biting into skin. It was two against one and he hoped they wouldn't try anything just yet.

"I'm no coward but I do love him." Yi Fan wasn't afraid to say it and Xian looked at Zitao with wide eyes, surprised. Maybe now it made sense why Zitao had spent so much time with Yi Fan.

Chao smiled. "But how could you love a mere boy? One that lied to you and took you for a fool?" Zitao knew he was baiting Yi Fan but he was almost sure it wouldn't work.

"It's because he's just a boy. He has the perseverance of one and the kindness of a child. Even when I threw him away in my anger, he was still respectful-- to a point.” He paused and smiled. “And his honor. That is what made me decide not to kill him. He lied for the right reasons. He wanted to keep his old father from the war and he wanted to protect China. But you," Yi Fan hissed with anger, his mood changing. "You have no honor. You will destroy that which is good just for fun. There's not much more you can gain from taking China than by leading your own people. You will kill innocent people for fun. I've seen the things you do, Chao, and I'm not going to let you live." He tried to stand but was pushed back down, this time he was lying on the ground instead of kneeling. His angry eyes met Zitao's for a moment before one of the men kicked him in the stomach. The two who were holding him didn't let up until Chao held up his hand.

"Enough. I understand that you're not willing to let the boy go as easily as he says you will. But that's how it's going to have to be since he lied to me as well." He began to step on Zitao's left leg that was still bandaged and the boy screamed, his vision tinting at the edges. Zitao's fingernails clawed at the ground beneath him, tearing his nails and the grass to shreds. His vision was growing darker with the increase of pressure on his shin and his voice wasn't getting any softer.

"Stop it! Leave him alone! You wanted me so take me and let him live. He shouldn't have even been here. He wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me." Yi Fan was once again on his knees but he was leaning forward and there were tears streaming down his face. "Just let him go," he sobbed and that was the last thing Zitao heard before Chao put just a little more pressure on his leg and he felt the bone snap. His scream went up an octave and he passed out from the pain before it could rise any higher.

When he woke, it was pain that greeted him first, not sunlight. It was only a whimper that escaped his lips, his throat too torn for words. He looked around and found it was still nighttime and the moon was shining down on the same field that they had been in before. Zitao panicked a little once he found Xian and his brother dead in the grass where they had been earlier but Yi Fan was nowhere to be found. He tried to stand but his leg wouldn't move and a surprising scream erupted from his lips when someone kicked it.

Chao laughed from above him as he continued to scream. "Trying to find your lover? Good luck getting to him now." He began to walk toward the trees and that's when Zitao noticed more bodies on the ground than just his companions. They must have killed the remaining raiders once he lost consciousness. But where was Yi Fan? Zitao's eyes scanned the tree line and found him, tied to a tree on his knees and blood covering nearly every part of his face and neck. He wasn't sure if it was Yi Fan's or one of the raiders, but he knew that Yi Fan was barely conscious.

His head hung low and bobbed, trying to stay awake. Chao reached him and grabbed his chin, forcing Yi Fan to look him in the eye. "I know you want him to come to you, but he can't. His leg is broken now and I suppose if it's not properly set in an hour or so, it'll have to be painfully moved into place. If it's not set at all, he'll never be able to walk again. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?" Yi Fan scowled and in return his head was shaken. Zitao could do nothing but watch the man he loved face one of the most horrifying men in Asia as he fought for awareness. He could tell Yi Fan wanted to speak but he was smart enough not to.

"Yi Fan;" his voice sounded like it had been dragged across glass and then cut into smaller pieces. It was only a rasp but in the silence, Yi Fan's eyes met his and Zitao knew that he had heard, but it earned him another shake of the head.

"Don't look at him, look at me." Chao took out a knife and held it in front of Yi Fan's bloody face. "He's going to watch as I carve your eyes out and then move to your tongue. After that, maybe I'll cut off your ears or your nose, but I'll enjoy his screams as much as yours either way. I'll have fun doing this to you for killing my men. And just so you know, I still plan to kill the Khan, maybe in this exact way." He paused and ran a finger over Yi Fan's cheek and down his neck, causing Yi Fan to scowl. “Such pretty skin. I'll enjoy this even more than when I had done this to so many women on my way here.” Yi Fan pulled his head away violently and it made Chao chuckle. “Your fight pleases me.” He turned to look at Zitao with a maniacal grin. “I hope you like this as much as I will.” He turned back to Yi Fan and raised his knife.

The moon was suddenly covered by clouds and the sky went nearly pitch black. Zitao looked up and saw that the cloud was small but slow moving and he knew what he had to do. Painfully, he began to drag himself the distance to the tree-- to Yi Fan. He tried to stop his grunts and only a few quiet moans reached his ears. He didn't have much time before Chao began to take out Yi Fan's eyes and he prayed the man wouldn't see or hear him coming. His fingers touched something sharp enough to break the skin and he realized it was a sword. He grabbed it before continuing on. Nervously, he looked to the sky and saw that the cloud was breaking apart and soon the moonlight would come back but he didn't have much further to go and he sped up despite the growing pain in his leg that was screaming for him to stop. But he wouldn't stop, not until Yi Fan was safe in his arms. He didn't care if he died now even though he had bargained for his life earlier, he just wanted Yi Fan to live; after all, he should have died when Yi Fan discovered his age. It's better to go like this, he decided.

When he was just two strides from Chao, the moonlight finally spilled onto the grass and he was spotted. The raider looked down at him with a mix of horror and surprise on his face and he turned away from Yi Fan.

"I should have killed you right away instead of indulging myself in your pain. It should have been your neck I stepped on." He took the step toward Zitao but his chest was stopped with the sharp, bloody blade Zitao had picked up. His eyes went wide as he looked down to the sword impaling him and then back to Zitao who had quickly gone to his knees to reach the man better. It had been painful to do so so quickly and there was black at the edges of his vision. "I can't," Chao choked out when he fell to his knees. "I can't believe I wasn't able to kill a child."

Zitao twisted the blade inside Chao. "I'm not that easy to kill."

Chao still had the knife in his hand and he took advantage of his position to bury the blade into Zitao's arm with a yell before the boy ripped the sword through the man and out his side in anger, killing him with no chance of healing.

"Zitao!" Yi Fan shouted, pulling at whatever held him to the tree when he saw Chao go down and Zitao clutching his forearm with screams permeating through his tightly closed lips; he put pressure immediately on the wound, praying that he wouldn't bleed to death. Yi Fan shouted his name again and this time the younger looked at him.

"Come to me," he demanded and the younger awkwardly crawled to him, landing at Yi Fan's knees. "Cut me loose now." His voice was soft as he looked at Zitao who was in immense pain, but Zitao complied anyway and let his own blood run down his arm and drop down into the grass.

Yi Fan fell on top of Zitao with a grunt but the younger screeched. His brain still wasn't numb to the pain in his leg or arm and the weight of another human on him nearly made him pass out, his leg at a strange angle. He looked into Yi Fan's eyes with tears of relief and pain running down his cheeks and Yi Fan bent down and kissed him anyway.

Zitao was already panting before Yi Fan kissed him but the kiss only made it worse and he finally fell unconscious before Yi Fan pulled away.

Maybe it was a good thing Zitao didn't wake up until dawn because Yi Fan had set his broken leg immediately and tied branches from the tree to his leg with his own shirt. Yi Fan had used Zitao's shirt to use as a bandage on his arm after dragging him to the river to clean it out. The pain would have been unbearable with a conscious mind.

He tried to move, but even before he opened his eyes, he realized he was leaning forward on a horse's neck. Slowly, he pushed himself up into a sitting position and blinked rapidly. He had a killer headache but that didn't compare to the pain in his arm and leg. Upon inspection, he saw that they had been taken care of and he sighed in relief. He was glad he didn't need to do it himself.

"Good morning."

Zitao looked ahead of him and saw Yi Fan's bruised and battered smiling face turned to look at him. One eye was swollen shut and the other didn't look much better. He had various cuts across his skin and Zitao noticed that it only got worse as his eyes traveled downwards. Yi Fan probably had many broken ribs. His skin was more black and blue-- with varying colors in between-- than his usual tan. Zitao decided he was a little better off with just a broken leg and a deep cut in his arm.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you home to your family. You need to rest." He pulled his horse to a stop and that's when Zitao noticed another horse that Yi Fan had in tow that carried the bodies of Xian and Xing.

"Where are you taking them?" He felt guilt settling in his stomach. He had told Xian to come along and both he and his brother ended up dead.

"I'm taking them to their families as well. They helped save China and deserve to be buried where their families want them to be instead of by the Yellow River. Besides, I probably couldn't have dug two graves if I wanted to."

Zitao just nodded before lying back down. He just wanted to sleep away the pain and guilt.

Three days later, they arrived in Qingdao. They had stopped at Dongying to return the bodies of Xian and Xing on the first day of their journey and Xian's parents insisted that they stay and tell them what had happened as they received help for their injuries. They stayed overnight by the direction of Xian's father because they deserved a break from travelling. But the next morning, they left to go to Qingdao and were seen off with smiles and some food that Xing's wife had made as a gift of thanks for bringing her husband home.

"Qingdao isn't what I thought it was," Yi Fan noted as he took in the few homes spread across the land.

"I'm the oldest boy here. There are only old couples and young children. Parents leave their children here with their grandparents while they work on the coast and in the rice fields on the other side of the bay. I was just lucky to be the gift my aged parents wanted." Zitao's heart crawled into his throat when thinking about his parents and how worried they must be and he didn't wait for Yi Fan to follow him as he ran his horse down the hill and into the village center where people got out of his way. He didn't slow down until he stopped outside the gates of his own home and then he didn't know what to do. He had been excited to see them but now, he was scared.

I should have been easy to just push open the doors and see his parents and younger brother, but it wasn't. He was worried about what would be said to him about his disobedience and recklessness. He felt that he would only be pushed away.

Yi Fan stopped next to him, breathing harder than his horse. "You should have waited for me. I can't ride as fast as you." Zitao didn't answer and Yi Fan looked at him and then at the gates. "Aren't you going to go in?"

"I'm scared. It's been about ten days since I've been here though it feels like much longer." His voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

"Why are you scared? You weren't scared to face Chao when your leg was broken and I was looking death in the face."

Zitao shook his head. "That's it. I was terrified but you were in danger and I wanted to save you, even if that meant I died. With this, I don't know what the outcome will be. I don't know what they'll say to me. I don't know what they'll do to me."

"They're your parents. They wouldn't harm you any more than you already are."

"I directly disobeyed my father and I broke the law. I don't know what he'll do."

Yi Fan reached out and took Zitao's hand. "He'll take you back. You're his son and he obviously cares for you." He smiled before putting their hands on the gate. "Let's go in."

They pushed the gates open and went into the empty yard. It seemed as if no one was home until Zitao's brother came outside. His eyes went wide and he didn't say anything before he ran back inside. Soon, Zitao's father and mother came out, disbelief clear on their faces.

No one moved at first but then his parents ran to him. He dismounted but leaned on his horse to stay up on one leg while his parents took him into a hug. He noticed immediately that his mother was crying but what took him by surprise was that his father was as well. This wasn't what he was expecting at all.

His mother took his face in her hands. "I'm so glad you're home. My baby is home," she sobbed.

He couldn't help but smile as he hugged his parents back but then his brother ran to him and hit his broken leg and he nearly screamed. He sat down hard and was trying not to cry when Yi Fan came to his elbow.

"He needs to lie down. We've been travelling far too long while injured." Zitao's mother nodded, wiping away her tears, as she led Yi Fan, who was carrying Zitao in his arms, into the house. Yi Fan was led into a large room and was told to lay Zitao down on the bed that was carefully made on the floor. He was breathing hard and his ribs hurt like hell from carrying Zitao so he lay down next to Zitao.

His mother left them for a moment and Yi Fan took the chance to kiss Zitao quickly. Zitao looked confused for a beat before he kissed Yi Fan back. Lazily, they looked at each other and smiled. They made it. They saved China and it felt good.

Yi Fan's hand found Zitao's hand and rubbed the broken skin lightly, tenderly, feeling sad suddenly.

"I have to go to the Palace tomorrow at the latest, if not today. I can't stay."

Zitao's eyes turned sad. "Is it because you need to tell the Khan what happened?" and he got a nod as an answer. "Then you have to go. I understand."

They were quiet, hands touching, when his mother came in with cups of tea and some food. "I thought you would be hungry."

That evening, Zitao woke from a short nap to find his face pressed into Yi Fan's bare chest with the man's fingers curled into his hair. He could tell by the even breathing that Yi Fan was still asleep and he smiled. This is how he wanted to stay. He wanted Yi Fan to stay with him, close at all times. Safe.

He buried his face a little more into Yi Fan's warm chest and wrapped his arm around his waist, making a small sound of contentment. Yi Fan's breath caught and he moved, holding Zitao tighter as he felt Zitao's smile on his battered skin.

Sighing, he moved away from Zitao and he instantly felt cold without him pressed up against him. "I should go. It's a six day ride to Beijing." He stood and began to put on a shirt but stopped when he felt Zitao's hand on his leg.

"Please stay, at least for tonight," he begged, looking up at Yi Fan. He didn't want him to go yet. He didn't want him to go ever.

Yi Fan sat down. "You know I shouldn't stay."

Zitao nodded but put his hand on the back of Yi Fan's neck, pulling him closer. He kissed Yi Fan, deeper than they had ever kissed, and Yi Fan knew he needed to stay.

"I'll stay then but I have to go tomorrow," he said against Zitao's lips.

"Okay."

The next morning, Yi Fan's movements woke Zitao and he realized that this was probably the last time he'd see Yi Fan. He buried his face in his arms and hoped Yi Fan didn't notice but he did and knelt down next to Zitao, letting his fingers fall into his dark hair. He loved touching Zitao's soft hair but he wasn't sure why.

"I'll come back, I promise." His voice was quiet and soft and Zitao lifted his head, tears forming in his eyes. "You really are a child," he chuckled and Zitao glared. "Don't cry too much while I'm gone. I'd rather not come home to a heart broken Taozi." He ran his hand along the younger's jaw and rubbed his cheek with his thumb, catching a few tears. "Don't forget about me."

Yi Fan stood again and smiled sadly before leaving Zitao lying in bed with tears hitting the blankets.

It was three months after Yi Fan had left and Zitao was sitting outside, his leg still bandaged even though he could walk a fair distance before he had to sit down. It was dawn and he was looking north towards the hill that loomed over Qingdao-- the one he had ridden down when he had come home.

He had told himself not to wait like this everyday but there was nothing else for him to do while his leg healed. Yi Fan would come back, Zitao just knew it. But it was three months after he had left and Zitao was slowly losing hope. His father had told him to wait until his leg healed before going anywhere and that would be six months at least so he had resigned himself to sit outside until then.

It was about midday when he realized that he had dozed off again. Sitting up, he noticed that one of the many cats that roamed the small village had curled up beside him to nap as well and he smiled. It was so small, it must have been only a year old. He picked it up and held it close to his chest as it began to purr with contentment. Zitao decided it would be his cat from now on and he smiled even wider when he figured this cat would keep him company for however long it took Yi Fan to come back-- if he came back at all.

Four months later, all of the summer heat behind them and the chill of winter setting in, Zitao was walking on his own outside to feed the horses early one morning when the gates opened. He didn't look, thinking it was just his brother returning from an errand but when arms encircled his waist from behind he knew exactly who it was. He turned around, looking at Yi Fan with a look of astonishment on his face, while the older man just smiled.

"You really meant that you would come back. You weren't lying to me. You really are here." Zitao sounded a little distant and he nuzzled his face into Yi Fan's neck, so happy that he had come back for him. It had been so lonely without him.

"I told you that I'd come back." He laughed a little when he felt Zitao's tears on his neck. "And I told you not to cry."

"You said while you were gone. You didn't say how much when you got back." He was sobbing by now and Yi Fan had to push him back a little.

"We should sit down," he suggested and Zitao shook his head and hugged Yi Fan tighter. "Or not," he laughed.

"I don't want to let you go now that you're finally back. It feels right."

They were quiet for a moment, only Zitao's sniffling could be heard and Yi Fan smiled. "Because you're here, everything is just right," Yi Fan comforted, happy that he was back where he felt like he belonged.

"I missed you. I sat outside every day until my leg healed and then I went looking for you nearly everyday as well. I never gave up." Zitao looked at Yi Fan now, seriousness in his eyes instead of tears. “About a month ago, I felt like you had left me for good and I slowly stopped looking, but I never stopped waiting.”

"I should have come earlier, I know, and I tried. Can we sit down? I walked from Chengyang since dawn and I'm tired."

Zitao nodded and they sat on the steps, hands entwined. "So tell me, why did it take you so long?"

Yi Fan sighed. "The Khan believed me right away, strangely enough. I expected him to take some convincing but he had heard reports from other camps that they had been attacked by raiders. One camp managed to get information out of one of them and found out that Chao was their leader. And it didn't surprise him that I was as beaten up as I was. So, for seven months, I stayed at the Palace, getting the care I needed while assisting the Khan with matters on the war that we had stopped." He rubbed his eyes. "About a month ago, he asked me privately who had killed Chao because I hadn't told him outright. I had led him to believe it was me without directly lying to him but when he asked so upfront, I couldn't get out of it. I told him that it was a man from my camp but that didn't answer his question enough-- he wanted more details-- so I told him it was you. He called you brave and a skilled man and wanted to meet you. I hope you don't mind, but I told him you couldn't come because you were healing at your home."

"Did you tell him how old I am?" He had turned seventeen not long after Yi Fan had left, but it still didn't matter.

"He asked and I had to tell." Zitao's head shot up and looked terrified. "He knows what you did and he wants to give you a reward." He pulled a bundle out of the bag he was carrying and placed it in Zitao's lap. "He said this is the greatest thing he can give you for saving China."

Slowly, Zitao unwrapped the item and he saw that it was the Khan's family medallion. The gold and jade detailing shone in the early light of the day and Zitao could swear that his heart stopped. He looked up at Yi Fan with his mouth hanging slightly open and Yi Fan kissed him.

"It's real. He wants you to keep it and when you have the chance to, he wants you to go to Beijing. He didn't say why exactly but I would bet that he wants to meet the boy who risked everything for the people he cares about."

Zitao couldn't speak. All he could do was look at the thing in his hands in disbelief. Yi Fan pulled it from his fingers and put it around his neck, Zitao looked at him then.

"It's heavy," Zitao finally said after a moment of silence, feeling it pull down on his neck.

"But just imagine if you hadn't come back to the camp after you heard Chao talking about killing the Khan or even me. Imagine if you hadn't spoken to Xian and just think, if he hadn't known that I cared about you, I wouldn't have come that night. And a lot of things could have been different if you hadn't decided to risk your life for your father." Yi Fan held Zitao's hand again. "That's one reason I love you. You sacrifice yourself for the safety of those you love. Why do you do it?"

Zitao thought about it for a while. "Because I don't want to see them suffer. If I can do something to make their load lighter, I will. No one deserves to go through things that might be too much when there is someone that can help."

"But that doesn't explain why you were so willing to die for people."

"It's because I love them. I don't want to live life without them because I only have so many people in my life. They all have other people to love and care for but I don't have anyone else."

"I couldn't live without you so please be more careful from now on." Yi Fan put his arm around Zitao's shoulders and the younger put his head on Yi Fan's shoulder.

A door behind them opened and a gasp made them turn their heads. It was Zitao's mother.

"Yi Fan! You came back." She sounded as shocked at Zitao had. "Come in and I'll give you some food and let you get settled in. I suppose you're staying for a while?"

He glanced at Zitao and smiled at his mother. "As long as you'll let me."

She smiled. "You can stay forever."