(Sehun P.O.V)

Sehun woke up with annoying birds squeaking outside his window. His bed was so fluffy he had no intention of getting out. 

He frowned as he got up and checked the calendar. It was Monday. Oh, it had been a day since he'd met Tao was still a bit guilty about having flashbacks about his pathetic ex boyfriend and that he couldn't control his emotions. 

He hoped that Tao would understand. He put his hand on the claendar, tracing the dates. 12th. Month? August. . All of Sehun's hopes and dreams came crashing down.

LuHan had broken up with him exactly 6 months ago. He was broken. All over again.

He closed his eyes as his hands balled into fists. Jongin walked out of the bathroom ready for college." You're not ready yet?" He asked as he packed his bag.

"no I think I'll stay at home today." Sehun was still facing ten wall. "Okay" with a tone of concern, he left.

sehun ran to the freezer before tears could fall from his face. He pulled it open and grabbed a big tub of choclate ice cream. Not caring about hygiene, he scooped some in his hand and shoved it into his face.

Sehun took a spoon, shut the freezer and picked up " the notebook" to watch. 

He had mouthfuls of ice cream and sniffed almost every second while watching. 

" ohh my gooooodddd." He shut the tv of and chucked the remote on the ground.

don't think about it!

He ran to the kitchen again and unsealed a drawer that contained a stash of boba tea. He took out one and sat on the floor as he sipped the milk and chewed the tapioca pearls. 

After that, he walked into the shower. He closed his eyes, trying to make all the pain vanish along with the water. When he opened them, he saw blood. He instantly panicked and rubbed his body to try to remove it. It won't get out. He blinked again and all the blood was gone. 

Turns out, he was hallucinating. Remembering the day 6 months ago he tried to kill himself. Cuts all over his body. He would have died if jongin hadn't  seen him . Back then, he tried to kill himself because Luhan wasn't there. But now, he would kill himself because LuHan was there.  He had to let go.

He   Changed and played video games until his eyes started to hurt and fell asleep on the computer table. 

" I just want you to be happy." Luhan said cupping his hands under Sehun's chin.

"how am I supposed to be that without you?" Sehun's eyes were b with pain.

"I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me. " LuHan walked out.

"never" Sehun said after LuHan was long gone, grabbing the Swiss knife from his pocket.

Jongin finally woke Sehun around 7:00 in the evening. He was content that he didn't sleep in a pool of tears. 

Sehun frowned as if was a specific order his body had to perform. He was still hurt. Jongin hoisted him up and pulled him into a hug. He knew Sehun was sensitive about this.

"It's alright man. It's alright." Jongin said soothingly into his ear.

" I think I need whiskey." He rubbed his eyes and grabbed his wallet as he ales Jongin to drop him off.

                                                     __________________________

Sehun was greeted by a big sign 'Haevichi' with flashy and bright lights. Geez, how trashy. Regardless, he showed his id to the bouncer and went inside.

Music, food, laughter and alcohol filled the atmosphere and Sehun walked straight towards the bar. Seeing so many people happy while he was depressed made him go bonkers.

He sat upright on the stool waiting for someone to attended to him. Just then. A good looking guy, in his twentys, faced him.

" Hello, I'm suho and I'll attend you today." He said with a dazzling a smile as he cleaned champagne glasses.

"hi" was all that Sehun could say. he didn't care if he died drinking tonight. He wanted to forget everything.

"whiskey on the rocks please." Suho made an impressed face and said " coming right up." 

The pub was not bad actually. Girls were dressed in short dresses and the guys were attached to them. He saw a familiar body. Same hair.. "Here you go" he turned around."thanks " he murmured as he gulped the whole liquid down at once. 

"One more please." He did the same with the second. 

"Suho right? Don't stop supplying me with drinks until I say so okay? I need you to do this for me." 

"Sure" suho was a bartender. He'd understand. 

Sehun didn't gulp down his third. He tasted it slowly, moving the bitter liquid in his mouth, rolling his tongue as he tipped his head back and drank it. He drank the rest like this, to intoxicate him even more. 

He also had a few shots of vodka and then the tears cakes running down his face. All the pain, the misery, the sorrow. He had to get it out of his system. 

No one esle seemed to notice him except suho, but he didn't stop.

sehun kept Demanding  and suho kept supplying. It was a vicious cycle. 

Alcohol had a weird effect on him. It made most people happy when they were sad but it made Sehun want to fit himself in a glass and cry eternally.

After his 7th or so, he stared to get a little tipsy, his brain was becoming dysfunctional.

" how, how could someone love you for two years! Two years! And not love you anymore. Just like that" Sehun spoke to the wall raising his glass. "Unaaceptable." He said shaking his hands as if to saw no, too drowsed to notice the people staring at him. 

Tears were still streaming down his face. Oh! It was only raining on Oh Sheun's face. 

After his next glass he had a different reaction. He was laughing.

"what were you thinking Sehun! Your own parents couldn't love you, how do you expect someone else to?" Sehun laughed then giggled, them cried. His mouth was stinking and he had a mental breakdown. Luckily, his stomach didn't wanna puke. Yet.

he was a mess. Completely wrecked. He wanted satisfaction but all he was getting was pain. He never thought that love could do do much. That love could destroy. 

Neither did he know why he was still acting like a baby about it. 6 months were gone. LuHan should be.... Gone. He was. He never saw him again. But he was there. Sitting in the small itsy-bitsy corner of his mind. 

Enough.

sehun stopped crying but he didn't  wipe off his tears. There was the problem. Every time Sehun tried to stand back up, LuHan would push him down. Before it was just his thoughts but now it was reality.

there he was lightly pecking some guy on his ear.

LuHan. Was there. Kissing his boyfriend. All the unhappiness came crawling back to him.

he was staring at him. Right into his soul. LuHan's smile faded into oblivion when his eyes met Sehun's. 

He mouthed the word "sehunnie"  as he walked towards him from the dance floor. No. Sehun didn't want to meet him or see him. Or want him to exist in his world at all. 

He placed the empty glass on the table and smashed his hand Into it. Blood, trickling down knuckles as half the population went quite. 

6 months of rage, gone. His mind, gone. What was left was his body. 

"Never."Sehun mouthed back to LuHan who was almost crying." Tell the devil I said hi when you go back to where your from." Sehun spat quoting Bruno Mars. 

"I hope you'll forgive me" Sehun said to suho as he threw cash on the table and walked out. And this time, it was Sehun who was never coming back. 

Alcohol had taken the place of blood in his veins.

he looked for a cab in the quite,  cloudy night of Seoul. And the only place he could think of at 1 in the night was Tao's house.

( Tao P.O.V)

Tao washed the  last plate of dirty food and kept it on the dryer after watching Transformer at one in the night. Well yes, he was rich but he always did his own dishes. 

He heard faint knocks on the door. What was the doorbell for? He bolted to the doorway and unlatched it. 

"Bath-room" Sehun mumbled as he held on hand on his mouth and the other pressed to his stomach.

"oh " Tao rushed him to the nearest bathroom and Sehun dropped to the ground. He was weak. He had been drinking. 

Tao patted Sehun's back." Let it out. Let it all out." 

"Blleeuaaahh" Tao pushed Sehun's hair out of his face. God was he stinking, but he needed help. Sehun turned and started to get up. 

"You're done?" Tao questioned. 

"Yes... No" more vomit emerged from poor Sehun's mouth.

Tao was worried. What had caused him to drink so much? Why was he here? He did want to see Sehun again but not like this. Abruptly, Tao felt something wet on his hand. Blood.

"Sehun you're ing bleeding!" His hand had gashes on them and small pieces of glass were stuck between his knukles.

"I'm done puking" he said, his voice without life. Tao quickly grabbed some tweezers, cotton, bandage and antiseptic lotion.

"Okay, this is going to hurt a bit. You can clench my leg if it hurts you a lot." 

"Mmhm" Sehun nodded. 

Tao carefully removed the glass shards with the tweezers from Sehun's hand. His nails dug into his knee. Ouch.he got up himself and pushed Sehun up too. Tao brought his hands under cold water and washed them. Sehun trembled at first but then got used to it with Tao's hands gently wipping the pain away. Tao ripped some cotton and cleaned the remaining blood. He then applied antiseptic, Sehun flinching every 3 seconds. 

"Almost done." Tao wrapped bandage around his hand not realizing that Sehun was staring at him.

"Come on get up." Tao tried to hoist Sehun up but.. Nope. He was too fragile. There was no other option, he had to pick him up. Bridal style. Tao tugged him up, one hand under his knees and the other under his neck. 

Tao carried him all the way to his bedroom with Sehun's hands around his neck. He pushed open the door and tenderly lay Sehun on it. It dauned on him that Sehun didn't eat anything and even if he did, it was all out now. 

"I'll be right back." He sprinted to the kitchen downstairs and cooked hot ramyun soup for him. On his return. Sehun's eyes lit up at the sight of steaming hot comfort food. 

"Thankyou" he said in a low voice. 

"What happened?" Tao put his hand on Sehun's head to check if he had fever. Nope. He was just drunk.

He told him all about how 6 months ago LuHan had broken up with him and that he drank a lot to drown the sorrow. And that how he saw LuHan and his boyfriend kissing.

" I don't know why but I could only think of you. So I came here." 

"Don't worry. You'll be fine here."Tao comforted. Sehun smiled as he put the empty bowl on his bedside table. 

"Mint?" Tao offered. Sehun took one, then took four and popped all into his mouth at once. 

"Thankyou Tao, for everything." Sehun had regained his energy from the food. " when you said let it out, while I puked, I actually did. All the pain, all the sadness. Indirectly, all the LuHan. You might think this is the alcohol talking but I vomited that too." Tao had no idea where all this was coming from. " I'm clear now. Clean of LuHan. Ready for a new start. A new life.  A new love." Sehun said stressing at the last word. He looked at Tao's lips and his own. 

The next thing Tao knew was that Sehun's lips were on his. Soft, delicate, pink muscle. His hands reached for Sehun's face. Sehun tasted like mint and soup and a bit of whiskey, stinging his lips. He could literally feel his heartbeat and the adrenaline in his veins were rising like helium balloons. Tao's heart was flying. He couldn't resist himself and gave in. Their tongues touched like heaven and hell. Sehun bit his lower lip passionately making Tao forget who he was. 

Tao pulled away, his forehead connected to Sehun's. " I think I'm falling for you." Tao stared into Sehun's coffe brown eyes. " I already have." Sehun grinned. "This time, I'll be the one who catches you." Tao never loved anyone other than his car or his job. Now was the time to break that rule. 

" I swear, I'd kiss you till the sad is long gone. Until it's too  scared to return." Tao said bombarding Sehun with light pecks. He giggled and pulled Tao down to lie on the bed. He scooted closer and and rested his head on Tao' shoulder as Tao buried his face In Sehun's hair. 

"You know I'd kill for you right? " Tao cooed softly into Sehun's ear.

"Hmm. Just like I'd capture the stars for you?" Sehun  whispered into the nape of Tao's neck. Kissing it. Nibbling it. Biting it. 

"Tao adjusted himself on his pillow and Sehun adjust himself on his pillow: Tao's chest. 

"Do you want me to wake you up for collage tomorrow?" Tao asked as he spread a light blanket ontop of themselves. 

"No. The only place I want to wake up in tomorrow is your arms. To spend eternity with you." 

"Even when the whole words crashes and the sky falls down, I'll always be beside you." Tao nuzzled his chin on Sehun's hair.

" To infinity and beyond."