naeun sat there on the grass patch as those memories replayed over and over again in her head. unknowingly, the night came. by then, her tears have already dried up. she hoped the cold wind could freeze her heart like how they made her hands cold like ice. she hoped that when myungsoo comes, she could say the words she wanted to say and have prepared to say for the last few hours. she hoped she wouldn't feel any pain, she hoped she wouldn't cry. she hoped for a lot of things. or at least, she hoped myungsoo would turn up and not ditched her again.

"just how fast night change" naeun muttered under her breath, keeping her hands warm under her coat. she took her phone out and check the time. 7.30pm. she waited. 8pm. she waited somemore. 9pm. she sighed and was prepared to go off when she sees myungsoo making his way up the hill, waving at her. just the sight of him makes her heart ache as though a million, billion, or zillion bullet just shot through her.

"hey," myungsoo said with a smile on his face that naeun misses, before giving her a hug.

"i miss you." he continued.

naeun bite on her lips, in the tears that are on the verge of rolling down her cold rosy cheeks.

they stayed in this position for some time, and at that point of time, naeun hoped the time would stop, just stop at this very moment so that they can be like this forever, so that nothing else would ever matter anymore, so that she wouldnt have to say what she have been wanting to say. but the world isnt a wish granting factory, isn't it?

"myungsoo," she started and got a hmm? from him. 

she pulled away, looking down still. she took in a deep breath, as she could hear her voice shook. she held on to myungsoo's hand that was holding hers, so near yet so far. she caressed the back of myungsoo's hand as she felt her heart broke a little more as the seconds passes. those hands that was once her's. that was once familiar to her seems so foreign to her suddenly. 

"myungsoo," she said again, as she turn her back at him this time round. she don't have the courage to face him, she don't have the courage to say those words while looking at him, she don't want to appear as weak to him. she took in another deep breathe as she clench her fist tightly.

"at this point of time, i should be telling you that i miss you too. i miss your presence, i miss your voice, i miss.." she stopped, as she felt a lump in , she swallowed hardly and continued. 

"i miss everything about you, myungsoo. i don't know when have i gotten so used to having you around, i don't know when have i gotten so used to having celebrate everything with you, i don't know when have i gotten so used to having to text or call you everyday, and hearing you say i love you or i miss you. i don't know when have i gotten so used to having you in my life, that i know for sure that if you are