The thing about time is that it both flies and drags on. On the one hand, I stare in horror at the calendar on my cellphone because I can't believe it's July already, that summer break is about to start in a few days – I somehow still believe that senior year just started, when in fact more than two months have passed. On the other hand, when I recall the first school day, it feels like a long time ago, almost like it happened in another life. Though, it is another life of sorts, as I wasn't in the guitar club then, didn't have any interest in the guitar, and still thought of Chie and Megu as my best friends.

Last month already I have adapted well to my class, my new friends and activities. This month, though, I can't believe I ever lived another way because I am so comfortable with my new life. My grades have been great, I improved my guitar playing, and I became very good friends with Aya, the class rep, and Yixing. I recommend books to both of them, and during break the three of us sometimes have a short book talk session, given that Yixing stays during break because his girlfriend, Sana, often visits him. During club time Yixing and I practice, talk about books, and sometimes anime and manga.

At times we drift off, talking about all and sundry. Sometimes he talks about Sana's competitions – she is in the photography club –, and I share old stories of Chie, Megu and me, causing both of to laugh. And all the while I feel guilty because even though I talk about them with affection, they are no longer my only and most important friends. There are times I feel that Aya and Yixing may be more compatible with me than Chie and Megu. Not that Chie and Megu are or have ever been bad friends. Lately, Chie has had a little more time again for Megu and me because Sehun joined the basketball club. Megu has also returned to normal. But even as the conditions for us to be like before again are there, it's not like before. Maybe it's the inconvenience of different classes, but part of me, a big part, is always tempted to just stay with Aya in my own class, instead of going to Chie and Megu, even if the two of them are there. It is more than convenience, I realized once with quite some shock. I just prefer being with Aya to some extent.

I still go there at times, but most of the time I stay in my classroom. Sometimes I feel guilty and a little torn between my old friends and my new friends. I like Chie and Megu, they're important to me. We experienced so much together, stuck together, and always had a lot fun. But it was a childish sort of fun, teasing each other, eating ice cream, ranting and rambling about teachers and whatnot. The topics were fun, easy, and sometimes superficial. The fun I have with Aya and Yixing is different. We get along together in a quiet and gentle way. We talk a lot, about many things, about future, about dreams. Right now I happen to enjoy the latter more.

This made me realize that friendship can be built on time, but personality and compatibility are almost as important. The two months I spent with Aya and Yixing pale in comparison to the five years of friendship with Chie and Megu, and yet I enjoy the time I spend with Aya and Yixing slightly more.

Once that realization hit me, the guilt lessened. Still, I try to maintain both friendships because I just can't abandon Megu and Chie. So far, it is working out, with more weight on Aya and Yixing's side, though the latter is much due to club time.

So yes, right now, I feel rather good.

I think of all this as I walk home after club time.

Yixing and I have parted at the school gate, as always, because Sana always waits for him two hours after her own club ends to pick him up. I both admire and don't understand her deep devotion. She often packs him food in the morning, too, especially coming to our classroom to give it to him. And Yixing told me they went on dates weekly. I don't think I could do that. Use so much of my own time for another person, spend so much time with another person, be considerate of their needs all the time. Maybe I'm just too self-centered for that kind of thing, I think, but shrug it off, since I didn't and still don't intend to start a relationship during senior year. And so far, I enjoyed my single life very much. I smirk at that thought.

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