Things in life never turn out the way you want them to. When you finally think life is going the way you want it to, life throws a curveball at you as if to say don't underestimate me so easily. I thought my life was going to go well for me once I entered this Idol life I thought maybe people would start liking me for me. But I was wrong yes people liked me but those that do are my international fans in Korea though I wasn't loved, I wasn't accepted.It was all because of my skin color that people dislike me, even some of the members of my boyband dislike me because of my skin.

I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself yet, although I don't think you guys would care or would you? I guess to the ones that do care must still be reading this so thank you at least I know you care. Anyway my name is Cha Hakyeon, most of you know me by my stage name N, I'm the leader and main dancer of the K-pop group VIXX. So far we have won awards for our songs Voodoo Doll and Eternity. To the Starlights thank you, I love you even though some of you don't even care about me.

Anyway back to the point of the story, to my international fans and to maybe the small percentage of Korean fans that I have, I want to let you guys know that I know you guys accept me for me, I know that really I do but do you know how hard it is for me to live in a dorm where at least three of my members hate me? Where the only reason they respect me is because I'm the leader and one of the eldest. Where I get cold stares filled with loathing and hatred towards me. I'm guessing you guys thought all of us got along well because of how we act when the cameras are on, but that is all a lie that's just a mask that we wear. Once those cameras are off we're cold towards each other or at least those three are cold towards me, the other two are always there for me though.

So I guess I should at least show you guys what goes on behind those scenes right? Yeah I should. Well right now we just got done making the video of our goodbye to Eternity so the manager can upload it to our youtube channel. The three members immediatly seperated themselves from the rest of us and went to get there stuff so we can head off to our dorms. Me and the other two also got our stuff that's on the other side of the room.

"Hyung why don't you stand up for yourself? You can't just let them treat you lke your invisible." I sighed and turned to face none other than Hyuk who is giving a look of annoyance toward the other three members, who start walking out the door to get to the van that well be taking us to our dorm room. Yes Hyuk is one of the band members that don't hate me when we did the Mydol reality show we got along instantly, I think the major reason why he doesn't hate me is because of his parents. Hyuk told me that his parents saw no reason to hate people of different skin color so they raised him to not stereotype or be racist.

"Well what should I do? I tried everything and yet they still hate me, they don't even give me a chance to talk because they just walk off once I try to talk to them." I said to him while grabbing my backpack that had a beautiful design of a golden dragon on it, which was given to me by an international fan from the u.s who said she personally stiched the design on to it. Hyuk just shook his head and looked at Ravi, who was heading toward the door, and then back at me, " But Ravi used to dislike you and now he can't leave your side for a second."

Ravi walked back to where me and Hyuk stood and gave him a smack to the forehead, "Yah don't make it sound weird." Hyuk just pouted rubbed his forehead and mumbled, "But it's true."

Ravi looked at me and put his arm around my shoulder, "Hyuk does have a point though you shouldn't give up just yet, if you gave up on me I would still be with the others hating you. And you would still be stuck with this maknae to eat lunch with." He said while playfully messing up Hyuk's hair.

"What's so bad about eating lunch with me? You know what don't answer that." Hyuk said after thinking about it for a while. I laughed a bit and then we went walking out the door to the van, " Well Ravi you were a special case all I did was walk in on you- never mind." I said after Ravi shoot me a look that said 'Don't talk about it in front of the maknae.'

"Wait what happened? Wh-" Hyuk tried to ask before I caught him off, " It's nothing Hyuk don't worry about it. And like I said I tried everything heck I even tried to get Leo to open up to me by buying him that cute puppy stuffed animal that I saw him staring at the other day." After seeing Leo stare at the puppy stuffed animal for a good long two minutes, I decided to buy it for him in hopes of him finally talking to me, but when I tried giving it to him he looked at it as if it was poison and walked away.

Ravi and Hyuk know that Leo loves cute things so whenever Ken and Hongbin get Leo mad or annoyed they give Leo cute things that they know he likes and Leo just smiles and gives Ken and Hongbin to let them know they're forgiven. Once we are near the van I tell them, "Just face it guys the only way I can make them happy is if I'm dead or at least left the group."

Ravi and Hyuk than looked at each other and both of them hit me on the forehead, "Yah pabo hyung if you died who would stay up with me to watch Naruto or Pokemon?" Hyuk said while I rubbed my forehead.

I responded, "Ken would love to watch them with you, I know he loves those shows just as much as we do. See you can just replace me." Hyuk glared at me, "Yeah but if you died or left I wouldn't want to watch them with Ken or Hongbin or even Leo because I know they would be the cause of why you died or left."

"Yeah and who else would I play video games with? The others don't understand my love for Assasins Creed or League of Legends like you do N hyung."Ravi says while him and Hyuk grab a hold of each of my arms, " So don't even think of dying or leaving because if you were dead or if you did leave we would cry and miss you terribly." And with that we opened the door to the van and got in the back.

A/N So what do you guys think this is the first chapter and I think I'm satsfied with it I hope you guys like it too. Please leave a comment :)