Flashback

January 27, 2014

A Pink was having a photo shoot for “Skoolooks’, one of the clothing brands they endorsed, in a particular studio in Seoul. Despite having cold weather which is below zero degrees, the girls took part in the photo shoot for school uniform without complains. They were just enjoying and were fooling around throughout the shoot. Mnet’s WIDE NEWS, one segment of the popular cable channel, Mnet, also gave them a visit documenting the girls’ photo shoot and interviewing them about their future plans.

Naeun, Bomi, Chorong and the two youngest, Namjoo and Hayoung, were on standby and were fooling around when the camera team approached them. Naeun spotted them and nudge Chorong to look at the camera, “Here it is.” She stated, pointing at the camera. The rest of the girls greeted the crew with Namjoo stating that they’re shooting for “Skoolooks.” Chorong jokingly scolded her for mentioning the clothing brands name, “I wanted to promote it a little bit.” Namjoo said as an excuse and Hayoung just laughed off saying that Namjoo would either be mosaiced or bleeped.

During the shoot, Eunji appeared with Naeun. “Move your hair, it’s blocking your eyes.” Eunji was seen talking to Naeun while they wait for the next photo shoot. Eunji noticed the camera and began acting out as Naeun’s Personal assistant. “Unnie, what do you like?” She jokingly asked Naeun while Naeun just timidly laughed at her. Not satisfied with Naeun’s response, Eunji goes on acting out as Naeun’s stylist this time around. “Naeun-shi, are you perfect now? Can I leave now?” She asked nervously but Naeun, as usual, just snickered at her shyly. Eunji feeling embarrassed, just laughed it off as she looks at the camera. “She’s weak at playing along! Naeun is weak at that.” She tried explaining to the crew. “I’ve become the embarrassed one.”

But the Naeun who couldn’t play along was then spotted fooling around with Chorong, Bomi and Namjoo. “There is a doll over here.” She stated at the crew while she fiddle with Bomi’s hand. Bomi was acting out as a doll or a mannequin rather. After finding the doll/Bomi, Naeun was noticed to be talking more now. She crouch down pulling Bomi’s feet apart with Chorong helping her out and the two giggled while Bomi smiled in humiliation. “Open your mouth.” Naeun goes on, playfully parting Bomi’s mouth. “The doll has one eye open, she needs to close it.” Namjoo joined along. “Should I open it this big?” Naeun seemed to be enjoying herself as she plays along.

“Stick out your tongue.” Chorong commanded and Bomi stick out her tongue a little bit.

“Open your nostrils.” Naeun demanded while sticking her fingers close to Bomi’s nose. Bomi who was not able to hold out her laughter started moving as she laughed off. The three girls were surprised and Naeun glanced at the camera. “The doll is moving.” She said happily as she watched Bomi walked away like a robot.

Later on, Naeun was spotted playing along with a member, which was Bomi, once again. They were in the middle of a battle when the camera zoomed on them and for a moment there, the pure and innocent image of the two vanished.

Present

Bomi sat at the couch with a guitar at hand. She had been humming to a tone she’d been playing on her head for so long and she’s determined to play it in a guitar so that she could later make a song out of it. A song for someone she cares about. A song for her. The only problem is that she’s having trouble with the notes, like any amateurs would encounter when playing the guitar. “Okay…let’s start with an A…” She said as her fingers glides over the fretboard. Positioning her fingers over the frets, she started playing just to stop few seconds later. “That doesn’t sound right. Is it A sharp then?” She mused at herself. She eyed the fretboard trying to position her fingers to an A sharp but failed. “Where is it again?” She tried again but the sound didn’t come out as she wanted.

And when she was about to give up, the door swung open revealing a tired and worn-out Naeun who just arrived from a fansign event held by a product brand she endorsed. Bomi cocked her head at the door with her brows ceased. She squinted at Naeun who dramatically drags herself into their living room. “I’m back.” She mumbled before flopping herself to the couch next to Bomi. “Unnie, what are you doing?” She managed to ask despite her sleepy state.

“Nothing…I’m just bored so I decided to play the guitar.” She was not bored, she’s just helplessly in love but of course she won’t tell Naeun that. The younger girl would laugh at her for sure. “I’m somewhat having trouble with the notes though, being a beginner and all.” She sighed at her predicament but Naeun smiled at her.

“It’s because that guitar hasn’t been properly tuned yet.” She rolled her eyes at her before grabbing the guitar from Bomi’s grip. If only she’s good enough, she would have fixed the guitar for her. “Of course you wouldn’t be able to play properly.” She beamed at her before standing up, “Wait a second, I’ll lend you my guitar.” She run to the room she shared with Hayoung and came back with a guitar. For now, that’s all she could do for her. There are a lot of things she could do for the older girl but couldn’t, not because she can’t but because she’s not allowed to.

“Here.” She handed her guitar to Bomi candidly and Bomi smiled sweetly at the younger girl, like she always does. “Thank you, Naeun-ah.” Bomi would only smile and thank her. She won’t hug her dramatically and thank her a million times. She won’t cook breakfast for her the very next morning to show her gratitude. She won’t share her greatest treasure with her, her food, to show how touched she was. Unless, she was Chorong, she just won’t. “Welcome, unnie.” Naeun responded casually as she sits next to her. Bomi started playing and Naeun watched her affectionately which Bomi failed to notice, as always.

 After playing a few notes, Bomi stood up all of a sudden before glancing at the stunned Naeun, “Naeun-ah, you must be hungry right? I have chocolate cake in the fridge. I reserved it for later but let’s just eat it now.” And before Naeun could even say a word, Bomi disappeared into the kitchen.

“But I’m not…” Naeun was confused and delighted at the same time. Bomi would never do that. What’s wrong with her?

A minute later, Bomi returned carrying two plates, two glasses, two forks, a box of cake and a bottle of milk. Naeun could only watch her in disbelief. “I could really use some help here.” Bomi sneered at her and Naeun stood up as quick as she could to help her unnie prepare the food they’d be sharing. Naeun was overwhelmed by Bomi’s sudden show of affection and in the corner of her mind she wished she’ll always be like that. Though she knew she won’t.

“Cheers.” Bomi raised her glass of milk and encouraged Naeun to do the same. Naeun reluctantly raised her glass jarring it into Bomi’s glass. “Cheers.” She mumbled in embarrassment. “Unnie, this is embarrassing!” She added despite her delight and amusement.

Bomi laughed at her. “Aww, it looks like you’re not enjoying our little date here…” She teased. She didn’t really mean it when she labeled their late snack session as some kind of a date but Naeun blushed at the thought of it.

 “This is definitely not a date for me.” Naeun flashed her a deadpan look as she conceals the pink on her face.

“Whatever you say, Naeun-ah…” Bomi just smiled at her before shoving a piece of cake into Naeun’s mouth. “Say ahh…”

Naeun deliberately shook her head but gave in few seconds later when Bomi flashed her eye smile at her. She can never resist that smile. “Omo…our Naeun is so cute. I wanna feed her more.”  Bomi teased and Naeun rolled her eyes as she chomped the big chuck of cake her unnie fed her. She was extremely happy but all she could do was roll her eyes at her because she’s Naeun. The cold and calm, Son Naeun.

“Naeun-ah…”

“What now?” She’s excited and the tone of her voice couldn’t conceal it but she just squinted at her. Bomi wouldn’t notice anyway.

“You got an icing in your mouth. Here, let me remove it.” Bomi reached out from across the table and started wiping the icing on before Naeun could even react. Bomi’s thumb stings through Naeun’s skin as it glides on her lips. The weird sensation overtook Naeun’s senses for a moment as she makes the stupid mistake of locking eyes with the older girl. As if the time stops for the two of them, they stared at each other for a long time. Bomi pulled her hands away but maintained the eye contact they shared.

“I’m home.” Eunji beamed at the door and the two looked away instantly as if they’ve been caught doing something illegal.

“What’s wrong with the two of you?” Eunji asked staring at the two keenly. Bomi, knowing her friend quite well, hand over her plate to Eunji shutting the girl up before she could even make any weird remarks. Eunji joined the two who are sitting on the floor and dig into the food Bomi handed her.

Naeun, who was still caught up in their small moment awhile back, gave out a heavy sigh before standing up. She almost loses herself back there. She could have done or said something she’d totally regret. Whether she liked Eunji’s interruption or not, she’s not really sure.

 “Thanks for the food, unnie.” She looked at Bomi awkwardly and the older girl reciprocated with an equally awkward smile. She stretched her arms and pretended to yawn, “But I’m starting to feel sleepy. I better go ahead now. Goodnight unnies.” She wanted to stay and spend more time with Bomi but she stopped herself from wanting more because it’s not the right thing to do. Again, she’s not Chorong.

“Goodnight.” Eunji mumbled, still busy devouring the last piece of cake while Bomi nodded timidly. She watched Naeun’s retreating figure and sighed heavily. “What’s wrong with me today?” She muttered beneath her breath. Bomi finds Naeun attractive but not in a way she’s be attracted zealously. Only Chorong used to have that effect on her. But not anymore and it confused her. She’s not Chorong so why would her heart flutter?

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“Jungah Unnie…our schedule is done for today right?” Bomi probed at their exhausted Kungfu Panda manager as soon as they arrived at their dorm. She was quite excited today. She received two discount tickets for the newly opened milk tea shop two blocks away from their dorm from a friend, and she’d been waiting for a free time so that she could go there with Chorong. Luckily for her, today was one of those rare days where they finished their schedule before the sun settled down.

When she heard their Kungfu Panda manager agreeing, she rushed to the room she shared with Chorong and Eunji and beamed at their leader who’s sitting on her bed.

“Unnie…” She hummed sweetly at the older girl as she sits next to her. Chorong looked up from the script she was reading and squinted at her. As if knowing that Bomi’s up to something, she shook her head and sighed, “Not now, Bbom-ah, I have to familiarize myself with the script for the upcoming script reading of my new drama.” Chorong rejected the younger girl’s invitation before she could even convey it.

 “But…” Bomi was, of course, disappointed. Not because Chorong couldn’t go with her today but because Chorong always couldn’t and wouldn’t go with her. Chorong is busy but so was she. However, Bomi would always find a way to spend time with her, but surprisingly; Chorong couldn’t seem to do the same.

Chorong gave a stern look at the younger girl, “No buts please…you know how important this drama is to me right?” However, she softens up a little after noticing the disappointed look of Bomi. “I’ll make up for this later, okay.” She sweetly caresses the younger girl’s cheeks, “This would be the last time, I promise.”

It’s turning out to be a habit of Chorong. Making up promises to Bomi she couldn’t keep. She’s not aware of it but the younger girl was more than just aware of it. She’s worried and most importantly, she’s hurt.

Bomi could only give out a heavy sigh, “Fine, fine, fine. But make sure this is really the last time you’ll say no.” She faked a smile at her. Too earnest and too warm Chorong wouldn’t even notice it’s unreal. Bomi realized she’s been faking her smile a lot lately but she stopped caring. She’s not good at expressing herself anyway.

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“Guys, make sure to come home early, okay. Hayoung and I are cooking for dinner." Bomi announced while they were having their breakfast. She has this haughty smile on her face. “So all of you better be here before dinner or else you’ll miss the most delicious curry in world.”

Bomi wasn’t really expecting an immense reaction from the members when she made the announcement and so when Naeun conveyed her interest saying that she couldn’t wait for dinner, Bomi was astounded and overwhelmed. The other members were as surprise as Bomi and they stared at Naeun bewilderedly.

“I…was…just…” Naeun noticed the stares but she herself was taken aback by the sudden outburst.

“Wow…thank you Naeun-ah. I’m touched.” Bomi said it lightly as a joke but she meant it. She was amazed but she was moved as well.  It’s rare to see Naeun’s warm side it moved her in a way she couldn’t explain herself.

• - 

“Bbom-ah, I’m really sorry. Our shooting is taking longer than expected. I might not make it to dinner. Please relay my apologies to Hayoung as well.” Chorong apologized at the other side of the line. She couldn’t make it again. Again. Bomi knew it wasn’t Chorong’s fault but she can’t stop the lingering frustration in her heart.

“Also, Bbom-ah…please don’t…”

“I won’t.” Bomi knew exactly what Chorong was going to say. She hear it a lot lately. “I won’t wait for you. We will eat without you.” She hung up right after. Chorong would just be bidding goodbye anyway and the kids were hungry.

“Kids, let’s eat. Good news, Eunji and Chorong wouldn’t make it to dinner which means more food for us.” She exclaimed and Namjoo cheered with her. Hayoung would have done the same if not for that small sign of pain she detected on Bomi’s overly animated voice. She also caught Naeun’s undetected sigh and she felt even worse for her Bomi unnie.

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Hayoung was worried.

Bomi has a fever and Chorong and Eunji, who share a room with her, were out for their scheduled drama shoots. Kungfu panda who lives together with them is accompanying Chorong and their manager oppa is with Eunji.

But what worries her more is the older girl above her who might spend the night worrying about Bomi despite her early schedule the next day. Naeun couldn’t show her affection towards Bomi the way Chorong does thus holding her back from looking after Bomi without receiving weird looks from the other members. Naeun isn’t the type who openly expresses her concern towards the members especially towards Bomi, who she cared the most among the members.

Hayoung, who just finished taking a shower watched as Naeun tuck herself into her bed inanimately. Bomi asked her to go to sleep and not to worry about her but how could Naeun not worry about the older girl. She cared so much for the older girl she might as well be sick rather than Bomi. Hayoung couldn’t help but lament over Bomi and Naeun’s predicament.

“Unnie, you won’t mind if I stay with Bomi tonight, right? Someone has to look after her in case her fever spikes higher.” She probed and Naeun got up a moment later. Hayoung realized that she could only do that much for both of her unnies.

 “Thank you, Hayoung-ah.” A sign of relief could be seen on Naeun’s face as she smiles at Hayoung warmly. She doesn’t have to thank the younger girl but she did and it moved Hayoung even more. She really loves her. Hayoung was finally convinced. “No need to thank me, unnie. I love Bomi unnie as well.” Not in the same way Naeun loves her Bomi unnie, but she also cares. She cares for the two of them.

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Hayoung was greeted by Namjoo who was in a state of panic. She was sitting next to Bomi who was panting and sweating heavily.

“What to do? What to do?” She mumbled to herself as she checked the thermometer once again. Bomi was in pain and it agitated Namjoo even more.

“Unnie? What’s wrong?”

Namjoo looked up and gave Hayoung a distressed look. “Hayoung-ah, unnie’s fever just spiked higher and she’s burning hot…”

Naeun was already on her feet and is tending the sick Bomi before the two youngest could even get a grasp of the situation. The two could only watch as she delicately wipes Bomi down with a face towel soaked and wringed in cold water.

It took Namjoo a moment before the same realization hit her. She glanced at Hayoung and their eyes met. “Is Naeun unnie in love with…”

Hayoung bobbed her head lightly before Namjoo could even finish her query.

“She’s been selflessly in love with unnie for a long time.”