JANUARY 17, 1998, Saturday

            TaeYeon spent the first week of his new life in the rehabilitation center trying to re-learn things about the world around him. He sincerely tried his best for he hated feeling dumb and clueless. However, the white-uniformed men and women called nurses and doctors usually got into his nerves. All they did was smile like the world was perfect when he felt like hell.

            “You are truly a miracle, TaeYeon! Most coma patients lie cold for months—maybe even years with that kind of accident. But you, you woke up in about a month, and your body is even healing very quickly!” That’s what the nurses and doctors always said.

            “What a miracle,” TaeYeon sarcastically laughed at himself. He didn’t believe a single word. He wished he just died. He scoffed and clicked his tongue, ready to mutter a curse, but he only found himself spacing out. Not a curse word came up in his internal dictionary so he just forced himself to brush this negativity off. Memory loss was good for some things, after all.

            At the end of the week, TaeYeon was finally able to come home. He still needed to come to the rehabilitation center and the hospital for frequent checkups, but other than that, he won't be going to sleep in his cold, hospital room anymore. He was relieved to know he’ll be with his family, but felt bad that he still had no clear memory of any of them.

            As he waited at the lobby of the hospital, he looked hesitantly at the doors closing and opening. He could just get up and leave if he felt like it. He had the choice to make a new life—away from those so called “friends” and “families.” But even though he wanted to, he knew it would do no good. Beyond those glass doors was the world—the world he wouldn't recognize. Fragments of information still lie in his brain somewhere, but they are definitely not enough to keep him alive out in the dangerous world. He needed help no matter how many times he wanted to deny it.

            HyoYeon and Tiffany pushed open the glass doors and found their way to him. He turned his gaze away feeling unworthy that he couldn’t even remember his own sister or girlfriend. A part of him truly wanted to remember, but there weren’t exactly instructions on how to recall them. Therapy has not been working well either.

            “Hey, how are you?” Tiffany greeted. Tiffany visited him every day and tried hinting him small memories here and there. It annoyed him but he tried not to show it. Seeing her was like watching the golden sun peacefully set behind the city buildings as he stands alone, freely on the hospital rooftop. Something about her felt like a fresh breeze of comfort. Something about her repels his scornful soul. So no matter how much he heated up, he could not let himself blow her away.

            “I’m… good,” TaeYeon said without a smile or any expression at all. Although they were kind and gentle to him ever since he woke up, he wasn’t exactly sure if he was happy to see them. He still despised seeing everyone who once knew him—even his own reflection in the mirror. He was never pressured to remember anyone, but he felt like it was his duty to remember their memories of him, making it irritable for him to do than it should be.

            “How do you feel about coming home?” HyoYeon asked.

            “Better than this place,” TaeYeon said. He started to walk but his left injured leg made it a bit hard.

            “Do your wounds hurt? Can you walk properly?” Tiffany asked, gently reaching out her hands for him to hold on to.

            “No, I’m fine. I can take care of myself,” Jinwon resisted her hands and tried his hardest not to look so cold, but his shrill voice gave it away.

***

            TaeYeon sat patiently on his bed as HyoYeon and Tiffany roamed around his room, handing him all sorts of things. His past memories were engraved in every inch of that space. There were stories waiting to be told from something as simple as rocks and shredded picks to his pile of music tapes and handwritten songbooks. Those beloved treasures became insignificant objects in his eyes now.

            Out of all his the things that were special to his past, one stood out. It was his black poodle named Ginger. He was a gift given by Tiffany two Christmases ago. Since the poodle only wagged its tail for him and seemed to have no expectations, he immediately loved him. He felt like a child seeing a puppy for the first time and he found joy in its odd nature. He laughed heartily when the dog tilted its head as he spoke to it. He lost it even more when it stood up on his lap and laid its paws on his chest to reach his face just to his cheeks. Tiffany’s heart fluttered seeing him so happy and she cherished this moment. Someday, Stephanie dreamed, he will be able to laugh like that with her again.

            “Oh, this! I got this for you last year a few days after your birthday.” It was a small painting of an eclipse with a bunch of crying men and women carrying babies reaching out for it. Some were dead and some were bleeding. The sky was dark and the picture looked gloomy, but it had butterflies in it. It looked horrible in the eyes of TaeYeon. Well, he was supposed to hate it. He never liked that photo even in the past anyway. It just looked so disturbing.

            “And this rocket figure,” HyoYeon handed him the toy. “This was given by our cousin, Yoon-hee. She knew you like stars so she gave this to you before we left our hometown some years ago.”

            “Stars?” TaeYeon’s head tilted, not exactly remembering what they were.

            “You don’t remember stars?” Tiffany asked.

            TaeYeon shook his head.

            “Maybe I can show you sometime,” Tiffany smiled, seeing a great opportunity to fulfill her dream. Jinwon, knowing nothing, just nodded his head.

            When TaeYeon got bored, he decided to look around. He sat on his desk and stared at it lifelessly until something caught his eye. It was a key necklace hanging on the wall. He picked it up and stared at it. Something about it seemed so familiar.

            “What is this?” he asked. As soon as Tiffany saw it, went dry. It was part of a couple-necklace that he bought for the two of them. He had the key while she had the lock. She wanted to tell him the story behind it, but she was too overwhelmed that he was able to notice that one particular item out of everything.

AUGUST 8, 1996, Thursday

            Nocturne Op. 9 No.2 in Eb Major

            Softly and carefully, TaeYeon’s fingers pressed the baby-grand piano’s keys. Tiffany sat beside him wondering why in the world he decided to play a song with the piano for her today since he never showed any interest to learn it. He was a boy who loved his acoustic guitar, plucking away with new tunes he’d discover by ear. He was musically talented—that Tiffany surely knew. But playing the piano—especially with a composition from Frédéric Chopin? It was no surprise that he was terrible at it, and accomplishing to play every ten notes would suddenly get him off track. It amused her to suddenly see the band leader awful at something for once. But after all, he was trying his best just for her, and that’s what mattered, right? If he couldn’t do it properly, there is absolutely no pressure. Her heart was already fluttering at the overall picture, especially since he chose to work on this particular piece to show just how much he loved her.

            TaeYeon stopped after a brief minute of playing. “Oh, I still don’t know the whole song, so…”

            “That’s alright,” Tiffany patted his back. “It was still nice.”

            “You know the song, right?” TaeYeon smiled.

            “Yeah,” Tiffany said with her shoulders rising and her cheeks turning pink.

            TaeYeon reached for his pockets and took something out.

            “Tchan!” TaeYeon smiled like a dork as he held a lock necklace in front of Tiffany.

            “What’s that?” Tiffany became startled.

            “It’s a lock necklace,” TaeYeon said and showed a key necklace that hung on his neck. “I have the key to it.”

            Tiffany’s eye-smile shone like crazy as her cheeks blushed more. TaeYeon was being cheesy but she didn’t care.

            “I’ll put it on you,” TaeYeon said as he brushed Tiffany’s hair from her shoulders and surrounded her with his arms to put the necklace on her. TaeYeon’s face naturally drew closer to hers making Tiffany mentally panic feeling his breath on her cheeks

            “So, when did you hear the song?” TaeYeon asked referring to the Chopin song as he was still putting on the lock necklace on Tiffany’s neck.

            “I, um, the night… that night,” Tiffany stuttered long enough for TaeYeon to finish what he was doing.

            “When?” TaeYeon stared at her with his face almost as close as the night when they first kissed.

            “When we kissed,” her voice climbed up an octave higher.

            TaeYeon snickered, “I’m glad you remember.” He closed his eyes and slightly bent his head. Gently, he went closer and softly kissed Tiffany’s heart-shaped lips. Instead of feeling startled, Tiffany’s eyes subconsciously closed and kissed him back with a sweet smile on her face.

            A few weeks back when Tiffany had opened up to TaeYeon about her life, she pecked his lips as a thank you for being able to comfort and understand her. That was their first kiss together.

            But this day was totally better than their first kiss.

FEBRUARY 9, 1998, Monday

            “Class, this is TaeYeon, as you all know,” the teacher introduced him in his class even though everybody knew him. He was somewhat popular in his school. He was the main singer and guitarist of the school band that won the talent show some few years ago. He has also competed on singing contests with other students from different schools and has won first place three consecutive years in a row. He was charming to everyone and the only reason they would hate him is if they did not understand how Jinwon at some days, would prefer to only stick by his closest friends—his band members. But other than that, he was favored by everyone because of his exceptional talents. Nobody ever had a bad report of him.

            The class smiled widely and congratulated him for being back in the last year of high-school. They patted his back and wanted to horde around him, but Tiffany told some of them not to overwhelm him or expect too much things from him. She knew TaeYeon was still not comfortable with the attention.

            Out of the happy crowd, SooYoung, Yuri, and Jessica sat silently. Most of TaeYeon’s classmates knew nothing about the big change in his character, but these three did. They didn’t really know if they were happy to see him back in school. Things just weren’t the same between them anymore.

            TaeYeon sat at the middle of the class with Tiffany on his left and on SooYoung on his right. He slightly bowed his head to SooYoung and SooYoung awkwardly bowed back. SooYoung didn’t look at him after that. He was too affected by TaeYeon’s memory loss that he couldn’t take seeing his own best friend.

            Then TaeYeon blankly stared at his textbook. He wanted to study to prove that he could progress just fine in life, but he couldn’t seem to put his mind to work.

            Tiffany worriedly glanced at him the whole day. It looked like he was listening to the teacher, but it was evident on his face that he was struggling. Even writing down his name on a piece of paper was hard. He wanted to do well, but he just couldn’t.

            After school, she talked to him while she walked him back to his house.

            “How’s your first day?” Tiffany asked.

            “It was fine,” TaeYeon trying to look excited hoping she would not know how tired he was meeting everyone and trying to learn things he couldn’t even understand.

            “Have you remembered a few people?” A small fire sparked up in TaeYeon for he did not want to hear that sentence at all. He wanted to spit out sarcastic comments, but he tried to immediately swallow down his temper.

            “Not yet.”

            “It must be overwhelming to learn so many things again, doesn’t it? Almost the whole class wanted to hover around you.” she said.

            He sneered and faintly rolled his eyes remembering everyone earlier in class.

            “If you don’t understand something or want to know something, you can come ask me.”

            “Thanks.”

            “A-and about the studies,” she stuttered as she timidly glanced at him. “Don’t push yourself, okay? If you can’t understand anything at all, tell me.”

            “I’ll be fine,” TaeYeon assured, hearing the concern in her voice. “You don’t have to worry about me.” TaeYeon has constantly been told that he’s been doing well and healing well for the past few weeks and he was starting to fully believe it. Jinwon wanted to prove to her that he could manage without always having someone to help him.

            “By the way, a while ago, Lee Joon was taunting you and spitting out horrible words. Are you okay?”

            “Who?”

            “It’s that stuck-up guy with the