When Himchan opened the front door, quickly stood up from the couch and looked at him. "What..." She trailed off as she watched Micha walk into the living room.
"Sorry for running out like that." Himchan apologized before looking down at the girl as well. "Can you go in the bedroom so Yunseo and I can talk?"
She glanced between the two of them and nodded her head. Then she headed to the bedroom with her stuff animal and her lunchbox.
"What are you doing?" Yunseo questioned as she walked up to him.
"I... I just couldn't do it." he confessed to her. "I couldn't let her leave."
"But what are you going to do?" she asked. "I mean, look at the past few days."
"I know, I know." he agreed. "I have no idea what I'm doing."
"No, you don't." she insisted. "You have to think about what's best for Micha."
He swallowed before nodding. "I am. I have no idea how this is going to work or if it'll even work but..." He clasped her hands in his. "She's my daughter Yunseo."
"Doing what's best for Micha is having her live with someone who can take care of her." she insisted while squeezing his hands. "Especially with everything she's been though. Are going to be able to provide her with the extra help she needs?"
He felt himself deflating at her words but understood what she was saying. "I don't know." he stated. "I have no idea if I can. But I'm her father, I have to try." He let go of her hands and cupped her face. "And I need you to say I can."
Her eyes widened in surprise before she closed them and let out a breath. "I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean it like that. I'm just..."
"Worried." he finished for her. "You're worried about her. I know."
She swallowed and nodded. "You're right though. You're her father. You have to try." Then her eyes watered before she slowly shook her head. "But I... I don't... I can't..."
His heart broke as he realized what she was saying. What was happening between them. Micha was forced on him but as her father, he didn't have a choice in the matter. Yunseo did though.
"I just can't..."
He quickly pulled her in for a hug. "I understood. Trust me, I completely understand." he assured her while his voice cracked.
"I'm... I'm not... ready. To be a mom." she quietly said while she held him. Then she slipped from his arms. "I'm so sorry. Maybe if I had know before hand..."
He reached up and brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "If you change your mind, you know where to find us.
She swallowed and then forced a tiny smile on her face. "There's one thing to remember about kids."
"That they always eavesdrop." he said, aware that Micha was peeking around the corner.
Yunseo went to the front door and opened it. Himchan followed her and let his fingers run through her hair one last time. She turned to him with a sad smile. Then she gave him a soft, lingering kiss on the lips.
"Good luck." she told him.
"Thank you." he replied. Then he watched her walk away before closing the door.

He hurriedly wiped at his face before turning around and looking at the little girl who was standing in the living room.
"Micha, you really need to learn to listen to me." he lightly chided her.
"Is she leaving cause of me?" she asked.
He blinked in surprise at her but then shook his head. "No. Not... It's not like that." he answered. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"But I was mean to her." she quietly stated.
The fact that she admitted it surprised him again. Then he tilted his head in thought. "Micha, you know that just cause I care about Yunseo, it doesn't mean I stopped caring about your mom right?"
Her eyes widened. "Really?"
"Bingo." he thought. "Of course not." he insisted and went to her. He knelt down in front of her. "Nobody can replace your mom. And if you would give..." He swallowed. "If you had given her the chance, Yunseo would have told you the same thing."
She looked down at the floor guiltily. "I'm sorry."
"I know." he said. "From now on though, let's try to be nice to people."
She nodded her head. "Mommy says that..." She frowned a little. Then took a deep breath. "Mommy said that love is the best thing you can give to someone."
It was the first time that he heard her talk about her mother like that. In the past tense. It caused another sharp twinge of pain in his heart like everything else that had happened today. "She's right." he agreed. "Your mom was very smart."
"Yeah." she said. Then her eyes watered and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. "I miss her."
Instantly he pulled her towards him in a hug. "I know you do." he told her, feeling his own eyes water again. "I'd give anything in the world for you to have her again."
She let out a sob so Himchan sat back and moved her to sit on his lap. Then he held her and rocked her as they both shed a few tears.
"Your mommy loved you very much." he said with no doubt in his mind. "Always remember that. She wanted nothing but the best for you." Then he swallowed. "And that's true for me too." he continued and pushed her away a little so he could look her in the eye. "I only want the best for you."
"Okay." she said.
"That's the only reason I was letting your grandparents take you. I thought they would do a better job taking care of you." he insisted, trying to make her understand.
"Cause you don't know what you're doing?" she questioned, echoing something he had repeatedly said within earshot of her.
"Yeah, exactly." he told her. "I don't know how to take care of you. I just want you to be taken care of."
She nodded her head and wiped at her face. "Okay."
It seemed like she grasped what he meant. "Good. That means you have to help me though. I'm not as good as your mom so you have to help me. Promise?"
"I promise!" she quickly asserted.
He smiled and wiped her cheek. "Okay then. I promise to try and take care of you then."
She smiled and then held up her stuff animal. "Chan-chan promises too."
He raised an eyebrow at the toy. "Chan-chan? What kind of name is Chan-chan?"
"He makes me feel better when I'm sad." she simply stated and bounced the animal on her lap.
"Alright." he said with a chuckle. "I guess he can share my name too."
She giggled and hugged the toy to her chest. Then out of nowhere, she said, "I'm hungry."
This time he laughed and shook his head in disbelief. "You're silly." he declared. Then he glanced at the clock and saw the time. "You know, today was another bad day."
"Yeah it was." she agreed with a small frown.
"And it's probably really bad for you to have it two days in a row," he continued, "But how about we order pizza? As long as you keep it a secret."
"Yes!" she cheered happily.

Later that night, he sat his pillow on the couch and sat on his makeshift bed. Somehow though, the idea of having to sleep on the couch again didn't bother him at all.
Chuckling to himself, he was amazed at everything that had happened over the course of a few days. Then he his lips and knew what he had to do.
He stood up and went over to the bookshelf. He pulled out the folder the lawyer had given him and took it back to the couch. He set it on the coffee table before carefully opening it.
"No more running." he whispered to himself. No more 'out of sight, out of mind'.
He took the papers out and thumbed through them. The top stack was the will and he set it aside. Then he saw the paper with the details about his ex-girlfriend's death. He scanned the paper and flipped it over. The next few papers were some medical records including a list of hereditary diseases that were in her family.
"That's important." he thought, glad that someone thought to include it.
When he moved that paper aside, he was surprised at what was underneath it. This particular paper wasn't typed out and the words at the top made his heart skip.
"Hey Beauty!"
He picked up the paper, realizing that this was a letter for him.
"I suppose here is where I ask how you've been but that seems silly. Considering why you're reading this. So... um... surprise! You have a daughter! And I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. A million times over, I'm sorry. But if you don't forgive me for not telling you, then I understand. I wanted to. It was all I thought about for a while. I must have picked up the phone a hundred times and started at least that many letters only to throw them in the trash. I wish I could tell you why I didn't tell you but the truth is, I don't know why myself. Then as she grew and the days turned in to years, it seemed even worse if I suddenly contacted you out of the blue. So I stopped trying to work up the courage.
My mother told me the day I found out I was pregnant that you ended my life. I agreed with her. My old life ended when I met you and then you gave me a new life. You gave me Micha. She's everything to me. She's the most important thing in the world to me. Which also means you are too. I don't regret that summer with you or what you gifted me. So I cut off all contact with my parents. If they couldn't accept the time I had with you or even Micha in my life, then they didn't need to be a part of it.
As for Micha, well... she's stubborn. In fact, she reminds me of you. (At this point you're either frowning or laughing. Maybe both.) She always knows what she wants and doesn't settle for anything less. I can imagine her going far in life if she had someone to support her. So I couldn't imagine anyone better for her to be with than you. I know you'll take care of her and love her they way I have. There is no doubt in my mind about that. I know you'll be a great father.
I've included some things and advice to help you. The most important advice I can give you though is to have lots and lots of cinnamon. She eats it on everything. Just like coffee was always your addiction. Told you she reminds me of you."
By the time he finished the letter, he had a couple of tears streaming down his cheeks. He set it back down before reaching up and wiping them away. So many emotions welled up inside him. Questions partially answered and fears laid to rest. She didn't keep Micha from him on purpose. Nor did she believe he would be a bad father.
He waited a while for him to calm down before taking several deep breaths. Then he continued through the papers. Each one was handwritten again by his ex-girlfriend.
Lists of Micha's favorite food. Even a recipe for cinnamon cookies that she loved. Some memories of Micha from when she was a baby. Things they would do together. Apparently Micha was use to getting ice cream on the days they went to the park if she was nice to the other kids and that brought a quiet chuckle from him. Just how many kids has their daughter punched?
Next were some papers for Micha. Letters with instructions on when to give them to her as she grew up. A quick, hastily scribbled note reminding Himchan that when Micha reached a certain age, chocolate would be the perfect gift for her.
Every page he went through listed some small piece of advice. Other pages were more like her thoughts. As if she was writing a little diary, knowing she was dying.
When he reached another page, the only thing on it was another note for him. "I want you to have the originals but if somehow they don't end up in your hands, here are these at least. And sorry! I ran out of photo paper..."
He turned that page over and was greeted with a picture of Micha as a baby. The note under it explained that it was taken an hour after she was born.
It was the same on the next page. As he went through them, he watched as Micha grew and read the little notes about each picture. An approximate date and what had happened that day.
He wasn't prepared for the last picture though and he inhaled sharply as he stared at it. His ex-girlfriend was sitting on a hospital bed. Even though she was smiling, he could see the toll the cancer had done to her. She was so tiny and had lost all her hair. She had her thin arms around Micha who was smiling as well but her smile didn't reach her eyes. Instead she looked sad. Almost as if she knew that something was happening.
As he read the note for the picture, he understood exactly what Micha must have known. It wasn't written in his ex's handwriting but somebody else's. "Their last photo together."
He swallowed thickly and turned the paper over, carefully adding it to the stack. And then he was done. That was everything he was given.

He sat back and let out heavy breath, processing everything. It was a lot to take in. Though the thing about the food would have been really nice to see before all the meltdowns.
He chuckled and mentally scolded himself for not having the courage to go through the papers from the beginning. Which of course reminded him about the passage in her letter and her own lack of courage.
Taking the stacks of paper, he carefully put everything back in the folder and closed it. Then he rested a hand on the folder. "I forgive you." he uttered out loud.
He picked up the folder and carried it back to the bookshelf. He put it back in its place but this time, it was to protect the valuable things inside it. Not to hide it away.
Then he went to the kitchen before quietly walking down the short hallway. He peered in to the bedroom at Micha. She was fast asleep with her stuff animal in her arms and her lunchbox next to her.
Smiling, he went back to the living room and laid down on the couch. He needed to get as much sleep as possible before she woke him up in the morning and demanded cinnamon oatmeal.