A wooden door to huge dining room kicked open violently after series of loud knocks, startling an old couple. They took a moment from peaceful dinner to glance at their granddaughter who just came in with furious expression.
"What did I say about manner in this house, child?"
"Grandpa why did you send admission form without my consent?!" she put, almost throw, big envelope with logo of a prestigious university in Korea at the table.
"Most of our family had been studied there for generation. I know the chancellor and dean. You can enter fall semester straight away now, no entrance exam, isn't it good?"
"I don't want to learn business management, I've accepted in art college back in LA. Just this once please let me choose what I want for my life!"
Her grandfather only snorted. "Then who would run our company after this old man who have raised you for 15 years died?! I've let your father do whatever he wanted, and look at the result!"
"I never asked you to take me in after mom and dad passed away! Had I known you'd raised me to be your mechanical doll I'd better live in orphanage!" Eunji replied, her tone two octave higher than usual leading Mr.Park to burst, slamming the table with both hands.
"Enough!" Calm but sharp woman's voice interrupted dramatically, and two quarreling grandfather-daughter stopped in instant. Eunji opened and closed several times, but no sound came out.
"My, my... Can we have a bit more quiet conversation here..." Mrs. Park shook her head, slowly wiped her lips with napkin.
"So you say you want to become an actress..." She continued with diplomatic tone. "Then you have confidence with your acting, right? What about we give you some 'audition' now, to test your skill?"
"What kind of audition?" Eunji replied cautiously, knowing her grandmother had always came up with the quirkiest idea ever.
"All you need to do is go to the college we have chose for you and study business for just one year..."
"How is that related to acting?!"
"I haven't finish my sentence, brat. You have to pass a year there, as a male student."
Eunji's eyes narrowed to slit. "What..."
"If you manage to convince everyone in the college that you are man, I'll let you go back to the State and pursue acting as you wish. But if someone finds out that you are actually a girl, you have to continue studying business and inherit our family's company without further protest."
"But..." The young girl briefly eyed her grandfather.
"It's okay if we give her this one last chance, right?" No one seemed dare to fight Mrs. Park graceful but menacing presence.
"So, do we have a deal?" She smiled.
Eunji is always up for challenge. Whatever it takes to get what she wants.
"Yes."

Sera walked, half running in haste to catch next class. Today she would have her first job interview ever - just part time in bubble tea shop near campus, but as a dedicated person who does everything wholeheartedly she is, Sera still so hyped no matter how small the job was - and way too excited chatter about it with her friends over lunch had caused her to running late.
A thudding sound continued with 'ouch' was heard when Sera bumped into someone and both of them fell on the hallway.
"Are you okay?! Gosh I'm so sorry I didn't see you I was in hurry!" She rambled, voice laced with huge worries as if she just knocked a person dead.
"Yes yes I'm okay.." The guy sounded almost wanted to laugh seeing how panic Sera was. He got back on his feet and fixed his black framed glasses. "I was spacing out and not paying attention to where was I going, so I'm at fault too."
The first thing Sera noticed was his androgynously handsome face. Eunji entered her apartment she shared with her close childhood friend who also attending same university, Ha Minwoo. They decided to do so - in additional of cut her hair very short and wrapped bandage over and above her chest - despite Minwoo's strong objection at first, to make this whole masquarading thing more convincing. Two male best friends living in one apartment, clothes strewn around haphazardly, stacks of sports and automotive magazines, dumbbells and other working out peripherals, everything that just screamed men, who would suspect one of them was actually not man.

"Oh you're home, hyung." Minwoo got a punch in arm for his welcome jokes.
"Seriously granny's antics is really ridiculous this time." Eunji let out long sigh, crossing the room and plopped herself on couch beside her friend.
"At least they're giving you chance, and this isn't difficult role for you."
"So how's the first week here?" He inquired.
"Everyone in the class never questioning anything about me, thankfully. The campus is so big I'm still having difficulties to remember directions..."
"Aah and I met a cute girl today!" Eunji cheerfully launched into a loud, full of enthusiasm speech of how this girl has big round eyes that she found so beautiful and adorable squishy cheeks.
"It's just a week and you're already having crush on a girl." Minwoo rolled his eyes. "Looks like someone's actually enjoying her disguising mission here..."
"Well, I'm into girls anyway. Let me have some fun!" Eunji laughed, didn't see her friend inaudibly mouthed 'calm your gay please'.
"You better be careful, noona.. Everything's gonna be ruined if someone finds out your secret."
"I know, I know! I'm going to shower now, have to work tonight.."

"And just hope there would be no girl actually falls for you." "You will be working four shifts every week, each is four hours..." The store manager was a man around his early 30s with thick glasses and smile plastered all over his face most of the time. Sera listened carefully at every terms and conditions he explained, nodded every once in while.
"We are currently short on people. So every Tuesday it's only you and Eunwoo here. But don't worry, it's usually not too crowded during weekday nights, and we're going to hire one more person soon." He gestured to the other part timer to come over.
"Eunwoo, she's the new part timer. Guide her to do her task."
That moment, Sera felt her heart was going to explode.

"Nice to meet you. I am Park Eunwoo."
"Ryu Sera." Sera tried not look too excited as she shook his hand.
"We met this morning too, right? What a coincidence."
"Yeah! I'm sorry again for this morning! Ah this is so embarrassing..."
"Nah, never mind it again! Now let me show you around!" He smiled widely, ushering Sera to the counter. Ever since then, Tuesday night became special night Sera waited the most for all week. Eunwoo and Sera quickly became friends, something that wasn't usual for Sera to get close to a guy in such a short while. They were living just few blocks apart and being a gentleman as his role supposed to be, Eunwoo would walk her home everytime after work. Soon, they started meeting not only at store but also in campus.

The two did not always share same interest but somehow they felt comfortable being at each other's company. Eunwoo was fun person, even silly at times. But he always managed to make Sera laugh anyway, with his either witty or lame jokes, and sweet little things he did; brought her fave watermelon that wasn't easy to find in autumn, made a playlist of songs he knew Sera would love and played it on their store, or simply took a good picture of her.

Sera could tell everything to him because he made her feel safe. He told her 'Slow down on your track..' when Sera unawarely taking things too much more than she could handle, he became support without any sense of bossiness.
She liked how Eunwoo confidently talked with their customers, from recommending special menus to merely commenting on today's weather - Sera hated the line of female customers that seemed to grow longer and longer everyday and how Eunwoo didn't know how to serve them with anything that not sounded like flirts though. She loved how he would propped his chin on his fist, smiled and gaze fixed on her he listened to every Sera's idle chatter on the times where no one came to their store. Hyuna wowed when Sera pointed out her finger to which one was this cute guy that her friend had been so enamored with this past month, then wowed for the second time when he laughed at the other guy's joke, dimples appeared on his cheeks.
"He's gorgeous! Sweetest smile I've ever seen!"
"He is!" Sera grinned brightly.
"Can I get his number?" Hyuna rewarded with a series of light slaps for her comment.
"You supposed to support and not being competitor!" Sera barked.
"I'm just kidding! No worries, he's not really my type." The slightly older girl laughed, assuring her friend. "Don't you think he's way too... Pretty?" Sometimes Sera felt too, that Eunwoo was strange. Like, something was not right about him but she couldn't quite put it out. His beautiful features was one of it. And he would just laugh if Sera teased, addressing him as pretty boy. "Do you know there was a song about that too... Hmm..." She hummed some tunes.
"Aah yeah I remember this song! Fave song of all girls in my class back in 2000s era!" He looked away avoiding Sera's stare.
"Oh my pretty boy I love you.."
"... Hey, quiet.." Eunwoo cut, hand lifted gesturing her to stop.
"I heard something. It's Lamborghini!"
"Huh?"
Seconds later a new white Gallardo actually passed and parked near their shop.
"See I'm right!" He ran to the door to take a look for the car, leaving Sera agape in the counter.

You can figure out what car from its engine's sound. But you can't figure out my heart saying 'I love you' to you? Sera was almost sure they were ready to level up their relationship to the next stage, but whenever she tried to go forward, Eunwoo retreated backward; brought the topic away from anything romantic.

He was mysterious about his past; the only details of Eunwoo's life Sera managed to wheedle out of him was he spent his teenage overseas, that's why he seemed to not have any other friends; he still worked part time saving money despite coming from wealthy family - Eunwoo prefer to called it lucky instead of rich - because there's something important I want to pay with my own money, he said. And that was all. It puzzled and irked Sera sometimes.
Maybe as time goes by he would open up, she thought.

Eunwoo sneezed, once, twice, third times with rough cough and that was when Sera realised his face was red and eyes unfocused; he was definitely sick.
"I can handle this alone, take a rest inside."
"Nah it's alright, it's just summer flu.." But Sera already put her hand on his forehead, it was high fever.
"It's not, you're burning! Come on, let's get you some medicine and nap inside." She pulled him forcefully, ordering him to lie down on small couch in the locker room while she scrambled through medic box to find cold medicine. Eunwoo resigned to her command, tucked in below his own jacket and fell asleep not long after.

Sera went back to check her friend's condition after the last customer went away and she turned off the shop's sign.

He was still soundly asleep, or that was what Sera thought when she sat down beside his immoving body, eyes fixed at the sleeping handsome; his eyelashes were long and his skin so fair. Unconsciously, uncontrollably, she leaned in, hair and grazing his scalp lightly with the tip of her fingers. Space between them got closer and almost closed, then Eunwoo suddenly opened his dark brown eyes.
"Oh you're awake!" was the first and only words Sera could say upon realising how awkwardly promising their position was, she was half lying on him, one hand on the side of his face, which was only inches away from her own. Sera quickly moved to get up but surprising her was an arm gently thrown over her shoulder, keeping her still in place, even pulled her in more - which she didn't resist at all. Eunwoo's hand moved up caressing her long smooth hair, bringing their foreheads pressed together and Sera could swear their lips already brushed each other's for some milli-seconds when they heard a voice from outside the room. "Hyung!" It was Minwoo. Came to take his sick friend home because he was worried. "What were you thinking?!"
Eunji should've known it that her friend would nag.
"I got carried away, I was sick and couldn't think." That was her only excuse.
"I'll be more careful next time."
"It's not only about your secret, Eunji. Sera will get hurt. You don't care about that?" An 'Eun-pabo~ :D' popped out on Eunji's phone screen along with Katalk notification sound.
'Hey.. Pabo-Ra :P'
'How's your cold? You're not sleeping?'
'I'm pretty much healthlier now. And no, not yet. Why?'
'I have something to show you... If you don't feel like sleeping soon please check this out.. ryutube.c0m/asdfghjkl/'
'Sera..'
'Hm?'
'Ryutube sounds like :/'
'>:(('
':))'
'Kekeke ok I'll watch it now.'
'I'm going to bed first. See you in 7 hours.'

Still giggling, Eunji took her laptop, perched herself on couch and typed the address given to her.

There was only one video on that channel, it was unlisted with zero view count. Eunji clicked the thumbnail which was showing Sera in white dress holding a white guitar, and the video started playing.

'Hello, welcome to Ryutube.'

Sera waved her hand to the camera stiffly.
'This song was popular when I was like, elementary schooler.. It's an old song. It's about a girl falling in love with a boy who is soooo pretty and charming, and I chose to sing this because this song is exactly what I'm feeling right now..'

She started singing.
Her voice sounded sweet, it gave off warm feelings on her chest, flowing under her skin. But at the same time Eunji felt a great guilt stabbing her, the words on the song melted into poison seeping into her heart.

'I love you, like I never ever loved no one before you.
Let me inside. Make me stay. Right beside you.'

The song finished in three and half minutes. Sera put down her guitar and cleared . Leaning in to the mic stand, she gazed softly, lovingly to the camera.

'To you who are listening to this right now... I.. I always want to tell you something. I'm sorry I know it's lame to do it this way. But I felt like doing this, show how I feel about you. I love y...'

Eunji closed the video tab in her browser, unable to bring herself to hear the last one minute that left of it. She pressed both palm of her hands to her face, Minwoo's words replayed inside her head.

__________________

The next day, Eunwoo did not showed up in front of Sera's class, nor he came to work at night. It took four times of Eunwoo tried to escape from her ASAP everytime they met - including once he actually hid and pretended not seeing her - and dozen of messages being stonewalled for Sera to realized that she was indeed, ignored. Sera dislike cowardness.
Why can't this guy man up and tell me straight away if he doesn't feel the same way?

Disappointed, she thought she would just ignore him too. But no matter how your brain ordering to forget someone, love is something memorized by heart, and heart isn't something one could give an order.

"I'm tired with you avoiding me all the time." Sera said after she finally managed to corner him one night after their shift over. And after made sure no one could enter the building.
"I, uh..." She started fiddling her fingers. "It's alright if you don't like me back. Can't we stay as just friend like before?"
"The thing is, Sera..." Eunji finally spoke up, head still hanging down though. "I do love you back. I really do."
"But if you know who, what, I really am, you would definitely never want to be with me."
"And just what are you?" There were both confusion and impatience mixed in Sera's voice.
Eunji turned to Sera slowly, taking off her shirt, leaving only a thin tank top and bandages wrapped around her chest, binding it from being visible.
"My real name is Park Eunji."

"Grandparents who raised me are very strict and strongly against me pursuing acting career. We made an agreement that if I can live a year as a male student in this college without being discovered, they will let me transfer to art college. This is my only chance. My voice is naturally husky like this and I'm taller than usual girl so it's not really hard."
Doe eyes widened in shock and disbelief; Sera's expression right now was exactly as what Eunji had imagined before.
"I lied because I've fell for you since the first day we met, and I selfishly didn't want you to leave. But I also don't have heart to keep someone that is so important to me in the dark forever. So here I am now telling you all of this.."
Eunji could feel tightness in , welling up to the back of her eyes and nose and threatening to push its way out. She used her considerable self control and made sure her voice wouldn’t give her away before continued.
"Sera, I love you. So much."
"But I am not the pretty boy Park Eunwoo that you loved. And I can't, I don't want to be a man. Do you still want to be in a relationship even now when you've knew that I am a girl?"
The second Eunji took one step forward, Sera flinched and moved back right away in panic, causing the taller girl freezed in spot.
Her eyes glassy, hurt evident in the small broken smile she managed to put on.
"You don't. Right?"
She went away without saying anything more. With the winter break came up and Eunji changed her work shifts, they didn't meet nor speak to each other at all after that. Taking her place was new a part timer named Sungah. Who was so cute; did little mistakes here and there but always willing to learn, and Sera found her foolish innocence are very endearing.
Thanks to the family gathering and another fancy things Christmas brought, Sera could keep her mind busy enough to not think about Eunji. She went back to her hometown, met her brother who was just completed his mandatory military service that year, also their family had a new member, a maltese dog called Dolce.

But those distractions did not work for a long time. Where could you run when things you're running from were still beneath your skin?

And once again one cannot possibly tell their heart to stop feeling something.

Playing instruments used to made Sera feel better but now it frustrated her more that when she strummed the guitar, she would in the end back to playing sad melodies.
And in the middle of the night she would lie awake, doing inner monologue with herself. This is horribly wrong. This is not love.
I'm just led on to believe that it is, by his.. HER.. Uh, good looking and all. She told herself - or maybe asked, because of slightly rising tone at the end of her words. And why are you here missing HER? Sera's inner thought said back to herself. ....... Okay. Maybe I miss our time together. We were good friends after all.

Or maybe I honestly want to keep her?
But just as friend, not too close. Do you think you would be happy holding her in distance? I'm fine now! I don't need to be happy! Everyone wants to be happy, Sera. But I'm not! .... Not what? I'm not in love with girl! I'm not gay! Not in love with a girl... Or not brave enough to love? ....... February came to end the holidays. Another difficult thing was to answer all her friends' demand of explanation for her eyebags getting more baggy and the absence of stories about Eunwoo Sera had usually told on their lunch.
You don't fall head over heels for someone for months then reject him just like that, they probed. "It's... Complicated. Maybe I was wrong about my feelings all this time. I'm no longer even sure if it was love or just a stupid crush or what... Well you don't understand, I can't just go out with he... Him."
"Yeah I don't, so make me."
"Okay. Hyuna, what would you do if you fall in love with a.... Say, an alien?"
"He's alien?!"
"NO. Oh gosh never mind it. Sorry for being so absurd." The short girl pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation.
"It's love."
She turned to Hyuna, face showing confusion upon the sudden statement.
"You said before, that you aren't sure what was you feel. Well I never met any creature from outer space before, but I think when you find someone, be it human or Martian, who can turn your world upside down, make you happy one time and cry the next moment, enough to make you feel all you're doing is absurd, then you are in love. There's nothing wrong with it."
"Love goes beyond rationality, Sera. That's why we get all of those butterflies flying around inside us." That middle of night, the another Sera appeared again, bringing two pictures for herself to weigh out.
Sera first imagining her being just a normal girl living a normal straight life. She thought of her relationships with men she'd ever had in the past, how it was all ended in vain. There were still chance she might meet a good man later though. She could get married and have a family and all.
Then she compared it with another image of herself being with Eunji. A woman she just met around half a year ago and stirred her life upside down. And how would it be to spend the rest of her life with her. I could be happy with an ordinary life. Would this guy you'd meet in future love you? Sure he will. And make you feel exactly like how you feel about Eunji right now? ... Maybe. Would you love him the way you love her now? ...... Maybe no.

Sera decided she wanted the latter.

The next week Sera persuaded Sungah to pretend she was sick ('I will treat you, all you can eat, ordering meat is allowed.') and asked Eunji to take over her place that night.

Eunji refused at first, of course, but somehow everyone in the store were allied together to either had another appointment or also fell sick, leaving her no chance but to come to work alone with Sera that Tuesday. Severe cold weather, they reasoned.

 

Remembering how was the last time they met, Eunji kept as much distance as possible from Sera. She already thankful that Sera did not run around telling everyone about her being woman masquarading as man, so at least she didn't want to make the older girl feel less comfortable.

They spent 4 hours in agonizing silent, only exchanging trivial talks like 'please pass me the glass/straw/shopping bag/etc.' and 'thank you's.

"Go outside first. I'll turn off the lights..." Eunji said quietly once the business hour ended and they finished clean everything up. She checked if nothing was forgotten, then pushed the electricity button off.

"What if...!"

The lights went off just when Sera suddenly started talking, nervousness caused her voice almost sounded like yelling.
"What if I say, I'm okay with being in relationship with a girl?"

Eunji stood still, unblinking, six feet distance between them.
"Honestly speaking I'm still not sure if I am actually into same gender or whatever..." Sera wanted to fidget but she tried her best to keep her composure.

She took a deep breath, walked towards Eunji and lifted her head bravely. It was dark but she still could see gleam as their eyes met, the most beautiful eyes she had been missed so much.
"The only thing that is clear to me, is that I'm madly in love with you, Eunji. You're girl, vampire, or extra-terrestrial, I don't care. I just can't live another one day holding in this feeling and not having you by my side."

Sera heard footsteps first. Then a silhouettes paced towards her, approaching her, until the only thing visible in Sera's sight was Eunji.

"I love you too, Sera unnie."
And that was the only answer Sera needed to hear to lurched herself into Eunji's arm, tiptoed slightly to catch her lips and they kissed.

It's strange to Sera that the kiss didn't feel strange at all, unlike what she had assumed before. Instead it felt so right; indulging herself in the warmth of Eunji's embrace she could slightly feel feminine curvy hips, hearing her own voice calling out name of a girl she loves, how their fingers intwined and it perfectly fits.
It was like all the puzzles finally fell into place.
It's love.

 

 

 

ps: I dedicated this for my friend L, an avid seji shipper, who will celebrate her birthday next week :D This story was actually her idea, I just threw details here and there because she insisted she's too shy to write fic

Big big thanks for everyone who read and comment and subscribe!