~I keep myself busy with the things I do. But every time I pause, I still think of you.

---

 

“I miss you” He said softly, realizing what he just blurted out, his cheeks blushed from embarrassment and turned his head down instead and stared to the sleeping figure of the kid on his lap,

“Im sorry I just can’t help it, its jus that I really missed being with you, just like this” His voice turned shy this time but it was still so comforting and sincere.  

Taeyeon blushed at the same time. Feeling the awkwardness, Taeyeon shifted in her position and cleared ,

“It’s okay”, she mumbled

“How are you doing?”, he asked, being careful with his words this time

“Im not really sure, but Im okay”, she said with pain in her heart.

For the past days she was like that too. Maybe because she’s been with Lucy all the time so she gets influenced and affected with her current state and most importantly because there was no one else to be with her besides her. She too was longing for someone’s presence, somehow she felt empty too.  

 

“You’ll be fine, you are a strong woman” he complimented then looked up again to the lady with a sly grin on his face.

He saw how her cheeks were still red, but her eyes say otherwise. It was calm and mesmerizing.

He wanted to say something, something more, more than a Hi or a Hello, he’s just waiting for the right timing.

They never been awkward like this before, they felt so far away with each other. How long it has been since they had a talk like this? Without being formal with each other, not professionally, but just an ordinary, casual talk. But as long as they’re here in the boundary of the hospital, they can never be like that. Taeyeon wants to remain like that, to keep it like that. She is so professional and serious with her work, and the bubbly, dorky, happy girl she is, he misses that the most. But having no other choice, they have to be here almost every day and it means they have to act like that.

 

He doesn’t like the idea of keeping their relationship but Taeyeon knew that it will complicate things for them.

It’ll just bring up some issues between them and might hinder their work. Taeyeon doesn’t want to put him under pressure and in a hard situation; she doesn’t want to bring problem to him once people here get to know about them.

Fortunately, the Director of the hospital was kind enough to allow them to work together, he tolerated this kind of relationship they have now, after so many explanations and up to his own personal and romantic reasons he had to confessed, he finally able to get his answer and convinced him, but in one condition and that was to keep professionalism at all cost, no matter what, no matter where. He was more than happy when he was accepted in this hospital. He really planned to surprise Taeyeon with this and unexpectedly he gets a different reaction from Taeyeon.

He could still remember how she freaked out. He was on his way to his first shift when she saw him there. She was beyond shocked that time. They even had a small argument because of that but after their talk with the Director, Taeyeon was able to calm herself and just accepted the fact that they will be working in the same hospital and will always get to see each other.

 

As time goes by, they were able to see each other grow not just in their profession but as a whole person.

He could only look at her from a far most of the time but it was enough to keep them connected.

She was so cold every time they talk while in the presence of others around them. But he find it cute and adorable, he could only laugh at her inside him. She’s trying hard all the time but it turned out the other way to him. If she only knew, she might freak out again.

But he kept it like that. It’s okay to him to be that way than not seeing her at all. At least he could still watch her and secretly protect her.

Their job was extremely demanding, especially on his side. He’s a Doctor and the weight of responsibilities currently on his shoulder was overwhelming. He can’t miss a day without opening a book, study and do his own research and then pay a visit to the patients. That’s the routine of his life, though sometimes he feel like giving up, he was tired and exhausted but every time he will look at his patients, in the click of a second he would feel fine again, and would bring back to his very senses why in the first place he’s doing it.

And Taeyeon made it easy more for him. He would sneakily pay a visit to her area and pretend that he’s doing his rounds which were in fact he just wanted to see her.

And tonight he was given this chance to talk to her and have a little time to be alone with her.

He’ll going to use this opportunity to be with her.

 

 

“Hey, how are you? I haven’t seen you for a while”, he asked again and then Taeyeon couldn’t help but to let out a small chuckle.

“Baek you just saw me this morning and yesterday and the other day”, she scoffed.

“So are we being casual now huh?” he said trying to .

 

To be honest he missed it, he missed her calling him just by his name, just like the old days. He missed how comfortable they were with each other’s presence. Being themselves and not trying hard or should say pretending that they don’t know each other personally. How did he manage to control his feelings towards her for the longest time of staying here?

That was unbelievable as you can see.

 

Taeyeon realizing her words, her actions, she tried to compose herself but too bad she can’t do about it anymore.

 

“Ahh…Dr-Dr. Byun I-Im sorry…” she stuttered that made him grinning from ear to ear.

She’s so cute like he wants to hug her right now, if it wasn’t with the sleeping kid on his lap, he might already pull her into his embrace, in which he longed so freaking bad.

He can’t hide his laugh now, he tried to block his mouth with the back of his hand but then it didn’t help either. He looks so dumb right now. It was so hard for him to control his laughter, his joy to finally release from the stress of work. He could only laugh and bring himself like this to her.

 

“Yah! Why are you laughing?!”, she tried to sound annoyed but she too can’t hide the fact that she’s laughing so hard inside.

How can she resist this feeling, when was the last time she smile and laugh like this?

Oh no, she can’t remember anymore, it’s been a while.

 

“Laughing? Who? Me?...no no no!” he said trying to be oblivious while waving both his hands in the air.

“Nah…You do, you’re so mean”, she whined. Not until then, they locked a meaningful look with each other and they started to laugh to each other just like before. But suddenly Lucy made a small movement from her position that caused them to stop instantly from laughing. They just giggled inwardly instead.

 

“Lucy told me something about the sky”, She suddenly said out of the blue.

“The sky?” then he looked up, “What is it?”

“That it will be going to be sunny tomorrow…sounds familiar?”, she asked on purpose.

Baekhyun nodded as a response. He was the one who told her that.

“Dr.Byun is there a chance that she can… go out and…” Taeyeon was hesitant and unsure if she has to ask this but even how small the possibility is she’ll buy it.

“Visit the Amusement park?” he said the word she was about to say and he just made it easy for her.

“Yes…” she mumbled then looked up again to him while her hand finds its way to pat the child’s head, who was still in a deep slumber.

“Dr. Byun I really wanted to take her there again, just for… once, is it too much for me to ask that?” her words were pleading and he can clearly hear it and it was all written in her face as well.

“No it’s not Taeyeon, it’s just it is not that easy. You know how unpredictable their condition is, and how weak their bodies are. They may appear to be fine today but the next time you know, they’re in their worst again”, he stated

“But it’s just a one day… just a one day of being free again Dr. Byun” , she said frustratedly

“But still… we can’t risk her. Im sorry to say this Taeyeon---“ he paused trying to read her expression and what’s on her mind but it was hard to say, “---Look I don’t want to disappoint you, I can’t guarantee that she’ll be fine when she go out. Who knows what might happen and I fear that”, he looked disappointed to himself too, as much as he wants to agree on her, the kid’s condition tells the other way. He can’t be sure, he can’t risk it.

Taeyeon shook her head in disagreement.

“I will still try, even how small the possibility is, even how… how risky it is” she said firmly but inwardly she was nervous of this idea, she was actually unsure, she doesn’t even want to uplift her hope up but she just don’t know where this courage of her coming from. Maybe because that’s what her heart is telling her to do so.

“You’re still a stubborn kid you know Taeyeon” he commented

“Well…that’s the least I can do for her, it is the first time she ask me of something and I can’t disappoint her. Maybe not now, but I will surely bring her there soon. I’ll find a way” she sounds surer this time.

“So, are you planning to sneak her out?” he challenged

Taeyeon gasped hearing him say that. She’s not planning of doing that way because she knew it will be going to be… risky.

She just mentally faced palm herself. Then, how did she plan of taking her there? What’s her plan actually? Oh no she haven’t think of that yet.

She just made herself look dumb in front of him, it was embarrassing.

“No. “she replied

He furrowed his brows. He didn’t get it, if not then how?

“But definitely you’ll help me… for sure” she suggested and it took him seconds before he could say a word.

His eyes widened and his mouth was slightly agape.

“Yah! You’ve gotta be kidding me?!” he shook his head for a few times too. “Are you serious?!”

Taeyeon chuckled.

“Im more than serious Dr. Byun” then she gave him with ‘I-am-damn-serious’ face with a sly grin on her face.

Now, he got it. How could she do this to him?

He could only cry and protest inwardly.

She’s really something.  And he can’t do about it.

 

 

Not so long, the wind blew strongly this time.

Taeyeon shivered and then felt goose bumps all over her body.

She just noticed by now how long they’ve been out, so without a second then she invited the man to get back.

 

“I think we should go now” Taeyeon said, she’s now standing on her feet and ready to carry the sleeping kid, but just before she could pull the kid up, Baekhyun already had her in his arms.

“Let me do this” he said

“You don’t mind?” she asked as they walk towards the entrance.

“Nah… but I mind what you just said…Taeyeon please think about that”, he said and then stopped on his track.

Taeyeon giggled inwardly. Surely he can’t get over that idea. She just walked past him until she reached first the entrance door.

 

“Oh! Dr. Byun hurry up”, she teased, changing the topic then.

 

Baekhyun whined. What he’s supposed to do now?

“You’re really a stubborn kid” he said while shaking his head, he just met taeyeon on her track.

Taeyeon just shrugged off his words, trying to be oblivious. What she’s supposed to do now?

 

And then, they walked again together this time.