TRAPPED

Jiyong’s POV

I stared at the sleeping body beside me. It was a woman this time. Her figure lay beautifully under the darkness, moonlight illuminating her lovely skin. It was a sight to behold to be honest, how the silver glimmer coming from the moon gave her skin an ethereal air.  She honestly looked like a goddess in slumber. A heavy sigh escaped my lips.

With careful movements, I stood up from the bed and wordlessly grabbed my scattered clothes. My actions were calculated and precise. This was a normal routine for me after all. I’ve had a thousand one-night stands in my life; you could say I was already an expert.

As I slowly my way towards the door, I heard the bed creak. I stopped my tracks and froze. I didn’t bother to look back at her.

“They warned me about you,” she started. I merely stayed silent. From the tone of her voice, I knew she had something she wanted to say. “You would always seek out for someone to have with, man or woman you wouldn’t mind it at all as long as it’s a warm body, and then you’ll leave them when they’ve fallen fast asleep. I honestly thought you were rude and a tad mean for leaving without saying goodbye but I think I could understand your reason.”

“You merely exist in this world. You go through the days as if you have no purpose at all and is your only escape from the nothingness you’re feeling. You seek out warmth yet you reject closeness. You’re barely alive in my opinion too. Aren’t you lonely, Kwon Jiyong? I could seriously feel you’re a lonely soul just by looking at your back,” she finished, her voice void of any emotions.

I decided to do something I have never done on any of my one night stands, I looked back.

“People said you do crazy things when you’re in love,” I started. She cocked her head to the side and confusedly stared at me. “But lonely people do crazy things too,” I simply told her before giving her a bow.

I then exited the room, closing the door tightly shut. I put my hands in my pocket and sighed heavily.

The words I have told her brought a sad and grim smile onto my face. Love was a feeling I was not allowed to feel at all. It was an emotion out of my reach. As much as I crave for it, I couldn’t ask for it.

“What did she say about warmth? I seek out for it yet reject closeness?” I mused to myself.

I shook my head and grabbed for a cigarette from my jacket pocket. I lit it and took a drag.

“There’s only one person’s warmth I’d ever seek out and he’s just like love – he’s out of my reach,” I said as I puffed out the smoke.

I stared at the full moon brightly shining high above the night sky. I stretched out my hands and pathetically tried to reach the eclipse.

“Way out of my reach…” I muttered. Another sigh escaped my lips. “It’s already been a year since I last saw you Jinwoo-yah. Why do I still think of you?”

**

“Hyung~ Jiyong hyung~” someone said as they softly shook my arm. I tried to swat the hand with my eyes closed.

I heard the person heave a sigh.

“You should have at least taken out a blanket for you to use hyung,” he clicked his tongue at me.

Warmth soon enveloped my cold body; a satisfied smile instantly crossed my face. I basked in the newfound warmness the blanket had provided.

“Thank you Seungri-yah,” I mumbled, knowing quite well it was my dongsaeng who had given me the blanket. “You need to take care of yourself more hyung,” he remarked.

I merely nodded my head and made myself more comfortable. Sleep soon enveloped me again and darkness greeted me like an old friend. I smiled enthusiastically at the welcome.