“Get out of the way!” Legs pumping, Kai propelled himself up the main steps to the capital building, already out of breath from the quick sprint from the nearby communications tower he’d been coordinating the recent war effort from. He fought down the urge to use his ability and conserved his energy instead.

And he did his best to push through the protesters around him without inciting more trouble. It was already a scene that was likely to turn into the week’s third riot.

He was through the main doors shortly after, bypassing the people steaming against him as he flashed his identification badge to some of the last security left. He broke into the chaos that was currently unfolding in the more restricted areas of the building and tried not to lose himself in it. People were shouting, pushing and frantically going about their business, and in hindsight it wasn’t all that much different in the building than outside. Except maybe the civilians were less focused, and there were more of them.

Kai grabbed the arm of a young man wearing an officer’s uniform and demanded, “Have you seen Commander Suho?” Kai had tried him moments later over his private line, but the commander hadn’t answered the call, and that wasn’t like him at all. Especially in light of recent developments.

“I don’t know, sorry!” The man pulled out of Kai’s grip and took off at a run.

In the distance Kai could hear the roar of the civilian population still cluttered around the capital building. For right now they had enough men to keep the crowd back, but it wouldn’t be long before they were desperate and angry enough to push their way through. They were too scared not to. Today might be the day they breached the building.

Commander Suho. He had to find the commander.

“Kai!”

Chen was racing to his side a second later, winded and asking, “Have the last of the priority evacuations happened? Are those people safe?”

Kai paused and frowned. “Chen? I thought you were headed out with the first group this morning. You’re supposed to be with D.O.. Those were your orders.”

Again, Chen asked, “The evacuations?”

It took a minute for Kai to recall what he knew, at least based on the last estimate he’d read, but he was able to tell Chen, “M lent us fifteen more of their ships for evacuation, on top of the first ten. The last I heard almost everyone on the priority evacuation list is accounted for. But Chen, those ships already launched, so if someone didn’t make it on, they’re not going to now.”

Not that evacuating any of their people to the last safe refuge on the planet was a permanent solution. Thousands of people couldn’t just sit out in the ocean forever, most of them children at that. They were going to run out of food and water before long, and if the world was ending around them, the water wouldn’t keep them safe.

Chen ran a hand through his hair, but Kai couldn’t tell if he looked relieved or frustrated. “Do you have a manifest anywhere? Somewhere I can look up the list of names?”

“Maybe,” Kai said distractedly, trying to inch his way away from Chen. “Look, I’ll see what I can do for you when I have the time. But this is not it.”

Chen could obviously sense the severity of the situation and asked, “Did something happen? What happened?”

“I have to go,” Kai said, thumbing towards the nearby hall. “I have to find Commander Suho. There’s been another attack, another fissure opened up just outside of town, the closest it’s ever been to the capital. Troops are moving to engage, but I need the commander right away.”

Chen caught Kai’s arm and asked, “Right outside the city?”

“Practically in it,” Kai shot back. “The next one will be in. We need to sound the alarm. We need to get these people out of here. I need the commander.”

“I’m asking about my family,” Chen said abruptly, letting go of Kai’s arm. “I know the commander did me a favor getting my family on the first evacuation list. Without his influence, they may not have had a chance at it at all. But that doesn’t guarantee me that they made it on, and I haven’t heard anything since the order came down to start evacuations.”

Amidst all the chaos around them, Kai tried to steady himself. Over the weeks Chen had come to be a friend. Chen was someone who’d been unappreciative of his situation in K, but had grown to love the country and the people, and done more than his part to broker less of a divide between the people of K and M. He’d gone to every dinner, every fundraiser and ever political debate asked of him. He’d smiled, shown that he genuinely cared about the people of K, and he and Kai had gone out for drinks after work more than a couple times. Chen was a friend now, and Chen was asking about his family.

“How many members of your family did Suho manage to find slots for on the list?” Kai asked, pulling Chen off to the side and out of the way of the other people around them. “You’ve got four siblings?:

Chen gave a nod. “But my two eldest sisters are married and have families of their own now. I don’t know if Commander Suho could do anything about that, they’re probably too old. But I have underage siblings who would’ve made the cut. I’ve been trying to find out all day long if they made it onto the last ship they had a spot on. And yes, I know there are no more ships if they didn’t.”

Kai questioned, “Your two younger siblings aren’t of age? They’re minors?” When Chen nodded, Kai said, “Then chances are then, at least they were secured a spot, and at least your mom or dad accompanied them. The first chance I get I’ll look into the rest of your family. But I really have to go, Chen. The last time our troops engaged the enemy we lost over half of them. Our numbers are dwindling faster than we can keep up.”

“Go,” Chen urged, moving out of the way. “If he’s not here, and he’s not in the hub or the war room, he’s probably with Lay in the barracks.”

That halted Kai right away. “Lay was supposed to evacuate already, too. I can’t believe the commander would let him stay a second longer than is safe.”

Chen arched an eyebrow. “Have you tried telling Lay what to do? He’s spent more than enough time around Luhan to learn how to be stubborn in getting his way.”

“Good point.” Kai jabbed a finger at Chen. “I promise I will find something out about your family, but you need to evacuate right now. If D.O.’s gone ahead to meet up with Xiumin and Sehun, you can still catch up.”

“I feel like a coward evacuating while I can still fight,” Chen said, only mirroring what Kai felt.

Kai leaned in close so he could keep his voice quiet. “It’s not official, but I think Commander Suho is going to issue an abandon order. There’s no where safe for the rest of our people to go, but they’re better on the move than they are here. There’s nothing but death waiting for them if they stay here. In a couple of days, the capital is going to be completely abandoned. And from what Luhan tells me, they’re thinking of doing the same thing at the palace. We’re losing ground we can’t get back.”

No place was safe from the fissures that were popping up all over Exo. In both M and K they were spewing out shadowy creatures that most of the people stood no chance against.

Their more priority members of society, the highly educated, those in specialized fields, and children, had been evacuated to the sea, where there hadn’t been a single report of contact yet. And Kai knew from Luhan that Commander Suho and King Kris had already made plans to bring their cabinet members and highest military officials to a central point for a final fortification. That was where D.O. had headed, and where Chen was supposed to have already left for.

But honestly Kai thought they were only prolonging the inevitable. No matter what they’d done, how hard they’d fought, and how they’re rallied together, they weren’t a match for the shadows.

And Mama now was gone.

Kai had been at Luhan’s side recently, at the king’s behest, desperately trying to consol him as he mourned for her. But it had seemed as if nothing Kai tried had worked. Not even he could help Luhan, and Luhan was different now. He was broken, just like the life tree, and it scared Kai to death that Luhan was reflecting its state.

The life tree had started decaying a week previous, mere hours after confirmation from Luhan about Mama’s death, and it was nothing but charred ash now.

Luhan was withering just like it. And if he turned to ash, just like her, and just like …

It was something Kai couldn’t think about. Instead he wanted to concentrate on the smallest of positive things, like how Luhan had been vision free and dream free since Mama’s death. The threat to his health, at least in that department, seemed to have vanished. It was something to cling to, if he could manage to ignore that Luhan looked even sicker than when he’d had his connection to Mama.

“I’ll go now,” Chen said, letting his hand rest for a second on Kai’s shoulder. “And I’ll see you later. Be safe, okay?”

Kai gave him a small wave and then set out through the capital building looking for Suho.

He wasn’t in the command hub where people were desperately shouting things across the room at each other, relaying further evacuation plans, death estimates, troop movement, and coordinated maneuvers with M.

“Has anyone seen Commander Suho?” Kai shouted above them. “The third regiment is moving to engage the enemy as we speak. Commander Suho’s authorization is required.”

A flurry of sound followed, but no one seemed to know where he was.

And then a quiet, soft spoken woman asked Kai, “Do you know when we should expect to evacuate ourselves?” There’d been extremely limited space on the priority evacuation list, but every officer, and every member of Suho’s private team within the capital had been allotted a single space on the list. Most of the people around Kai had put their children on launching ships without heasitation and hoped for the best. Most of them were still looking to reunite with them before the end.

“Soon, probably,” Kai said honestly. “The Commander will make the final call. But stay focused. We’re the last ones out for a reason. We have to keep the peace until the last possible second.”

That seemed to be enough for the moment, and Kai breathed easy as everyone went back to work.

After that Kai headed directly to Commander Suho’s private quarters. It was generally accepted that Suho was some kind of a monster, sleeping only a couple hours a night, handling everyone’s problems without hesitation, and hardly ever resting. He’d been up the whole night previous, and Kai suspected he was now taking a short, hour or two power nap in order to be up the entire night again. And if Lay was still here, then he was likely with Suho.

Lay and Suho. Kai hadn’t seen that coming. There was no refuting that they worked well together, suited each other well, and fit together how Kai imagined he fit with Luhan. But that didn’t mean Kai had ever imagined that they’d end up together. They were practically married, too, with how much time they’d been spending together as of late.

Kai thought he’d never see the day when Lay stopped caring about pretense.

Though Kai supposed with Luhan’s tie to Mama gone, along with his visions, there wasn’t a need for Lay to stick to him so closely. Lay was free to act as a direct link between the palace and K’s budding government, and be closer to the person he loved.

At least Kai thought Lay and Suho were in love. They looked at each other like they were in love.

The residential area of the capital’s main barracks was blissfully silent, aside from some muffled shouting from a bit far away. Everyone seemed to be at their work station, or gone from the capital completely, which left Kai to navigate the hallways in complete silence.

When Kai reached the commander’s door it was already cracked open, and he made to announce himself when Suho startled him, striding across the room with an open bag towards his dresser.

“You should have gone yesterday,” Kai caught Suho saying as he roughly jammed clothing into the bag. “Or the day before. We’re going to lose the city any second now.”

“You’re overreacting,” Lay’s calm voice said, and as Kai took a step back to avoid being seen, Lay took a step forward to reach for the bag.

“I let you stay stupidly,” Suho continued, jerking the bag away from Lay. “Because I wanted to keep you next to me. Because I was selfish and I felt better when I could see that you were safe, standing right next to me. But I should have put you on a transport the minute these things got within ten miles of the capital. Now they’re at our goddamn doorstep.”

Lay reached for the bag again, and this time Suho let it go. Lay told him firmly, “I’m a guardian too. I can’t just leave because it isn’t safe. Being a guardian means staying when it isn’t.”

Suho made a dismissive sound. “Guardian? Look, I know we thought we had a shot at being something for a while, heroes or just protectors, but you know just as well as I do now that we don’t have a chance. We’re not even holding our own, and there aren’t twelve of us anymore. It’s more than just not safe for you here now, so I have to get you out of here.”

“I can fight.”

“Can you?” Suho spun on the words. “You can heal. Lay. You’re not a front line soldier. You’re a pillar of support, but you’re not meant to fight. The only people staying now are the ones who can fight.”

“You mean,” Lay corrected, “the ones who can die.”

Suho gave a grunt of a reply.

Anger blossomed on Lay’s face as he finished filling the bag. Lay and Suho had been sharing a room almost the majority of the time Lay had been with them in K. In M that sort of thing would have been a scandal, but maybe that was part of the reason that Lay had come to K instead of the other way around. In K absolutely no one cared, and no one would relay any kind of impropriety back to those who did care in M.

“There are plenty of soldiers out there right now who don’t have any gifts who are fighting,” Lay argued.

Shoulders slumping, Suho returned, “And they’re dying, Lay. The mortality rate is around sixty percent. That is an astronomically high number for not only the morale of the military, but their wiliness to stay and fight to protect the civilian population. It won’t be long before they stop listening to orders and try to save themselves. Didn’t you tell me that there are riots happening right now in M? Right outside the palace? It’s not just here, it’s everywhere, and there’s no stopping them.”

Kai froze at that. He’d spoken to Luhan through a short data burst not more than two days ago. Luhan hadn’t said anything about riots. He’d made it seem like M was fairing better than K.

“The king is very worried,” Lay admitted, and Kai strained to hear. “This goes far beyond calling for a vote of no confidence. There will be no call. The people in M are panicking, the same as they are here. They’ve always been protected by the crown, but the crown can’t do anything to help right now, and the fissures are double in M what they are here. The king believes the civilians will try to storm the palace within a day or so if something doesn’t change. There might not be enough of the guard left to protect the palace from their numbers, not with all the additional troops being diverted to the warfront.”

Kai desperately wanted to burst into the room and demand to know why he hadn’t been told. Luhan was in danger, especially if angry, desperate people were so close to breaking into a place that was supposed to keep the royal family safe. Kai had promised Luhan, no matter what, that if he was ever in danger and in need of him, that he’d be there. Kai was not going to break his word.

“It’s likely the king will call for a complete evacuation of the palace, right?” Suho continued, the tension bleeding out of him as he put his hands on Lay’s waist. “And I’ll be calling for the evacuation of the capital shortly after that. We have to move to a better, more easily fortified position and unite our forces for one last stand. That’s why you need to go ahead and help.”

Lay let the bag slip down to the floor, his hands anchoring on Suho’s shoulders. “I don’t want to leave you here alone. You don’t look after yourself the way you should.”

“I’ll worry more if you’re here,” Suho said. He leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Lay’s mouth. “I have to get you out of here, just in case something happens before I can call for that evacuation. If you go now, and I know you’re safe, then I can concentrate on doing what I need to here, and then I can meet up with you later.”

“What if something happens and I’m not here?” Kai couldn’t see Lay’s face from his position, but he could hear how distraught he sounded. “I can’t go somewhere safe when you’re here, dealing with a situation that is escalating out of control.”

“You can’t stay,” Suho said firmly. “I won’t risk you.”

Kai turned away out of respect as they kissed again, this time more passionately. He felt completely torn. There was no way he could abandon K at the moment. The country was falling apart, people were being slaughtered in droves, and they were moments away from anarchy. But M was facing the same situation, probably worse with their larger population, and there was nothing Kai thought was more important than Luhan’s safety. He got Lay wanting to stay and fight, but he also understood Suho’s first instinct to protect him. It was an impossible call to make.

Kai heard Suho say, “I care for you very much, Lay. And if you return those feelings in even the slightest way, you have to do this for me. Please. There’s a transport set to go out with some of the generals in a little under an hour. They’re going to be coordinating directly with M and there’s a spot for you on the transport. If you don’t go now …”

Kai couldn’t wait any longer. Taking a few steps back, he cleared his throat, picked up some speed, and then called out, “Commander!” He burst forward as if he’d been at a run the entire time.

To their credit, Lay and Suho didn’t spring apart as if they’d been doing anything wrong. And Suho asked right away, “What’s the matter?”

Kai said, “We have a major issue. I just came from the communications center. The third regiment reported a new fissure on the outskirts of town. There was no time to request orders, not with the enemy so close to the civilian population. They moved to engage right away.”

Suho gave a firm nod, his jaw set. “I understand. I’m on my way.” He paused, looking to Lay, and then to back to Kai. “Kai,” he said, “has the last transport for the day left? The one moving to meet up with M’s military elite?”

“Not yet,” Kai responded. “D.O. left on the first of the day like you ordered, but there’s still one more set to depart. Chen will be on that one.” Before Suho could ask, Kai rushed to say, “He was held up by a couple of things, but he’s ready to go now. He’ll be meeting with D.O., Xiumin and Sehun before breakfast.”

Suho said, “I want you to personally make sure that Lay is on that transport. I’m making this an order.”

Lay stayed quiet, but his face said he was displeased.

“Got it,” Kai said, happy to be able to do something. In a lot of ways, Kai felt like he was in the same boat as Lay. They were both gifted by Mama, but neither of them had any sort of ability that was all that useful in battle. The both of them were relegated to behind the scenes work.

“One more thing,” Suho said, reaching down for the bag and handing it to Lay gently. “Kai. I need you to do something else. There’s one more person who needs to be on that transport.”

Kai’s mouth went dry. He knew exactly who Suho was referring to. “Sir,” he said a bit hesitantly. “I agree that he should be on the transport, getting to safety with everyone else important to the cause, but I don’t think he’ll go willingly.”

Suho’s eyes narrowed. “I have let him have his space, Kai. I have given him time, space and everything he’s demanded. I haven’t asked him to fulfill his duty to me or to this country. I have been understanding. I have been a friend. I’m not a heartless monster. I recognize what he lost. But the time has come. He’s practically defenseless and we have to get him out of here.”

Kai shifted a little awkwardly on his feet. “He’s at his old place? The house that he used to live in before joining the military?”

“He is,” Suho said. “Go and get him, drag him out if you have to, and put him on a transport. I don’t care if you have to tie him up and gag him. He’s going. I won’t leave him behind and he can’t fight.”

Kai gave a salute, feeling uncertain about his orders. “I understand, Commander. I’ll get him and Lay and Chen all on the last transport before it leaves.”

Suho caught him before he could leave, saying, “Get yourself on the transport, too. There should be just enough room.”

Kai frowned. “Sir, I don’t need to be on that transport. I can teleport myself away if anything happens.”

Lay was almost forgotten from the both of them as Suho moved to stand in front of him and say, “This time tomorrow I’ll be issuing a full evacuation order. Everyone will be leaving, and it’ll be a mad rush when the civilian population who refused to leave before, realizes that we’re abandoning the city. It will be more than a mad rush. I want you out of here before that happens. I need you to stay safe. You should be gone before all hell breaks loose. Being able to teleport away isn’t going to save you if a crowd swarms you, or someone takes a shot at you that you don’t see coming.”

“I …” Kai felt his eyes widening. “I don’t need to …” He honestly wasn’t sure what to say. “Sir. Commander Suho. I’m a solider. I’m one of your soldiers. I understood what it meant to take my oaths when I did. If anything happens, I accept it.”

“I don’t.” Suho caught the front of Kai’s shirt and pulled at him a little. “You and Lay, Kai. You two are all I have left. I won’t risk anything happening to either of you, so you’re going to get on that transport with him and you are going to ride the entire way until you meet up with M’s Xiumin and Sehun, and you are going to take personal responsibility for making sure nothing happens to either of you until I get there.”

Kai let out a long breath. “I can’t just leave you here by yourself. D.O. is gone already. If I go with Lay and the others you won’t have anyone here, watching your back.”

Suho let go of Kai and instead pulled him into a strong hug, reminding Kai of the first time Suho had hugged him, promising to keep him safe and teach him and give him a place to call home.

“When have I ever needed you to watch my back?” Suho asked with a laugh.

Kai forced a smile in return. “All the time, sir.”

They walked together for a few minutes, the silence hanging heavy between them, then they branched off in separate directions. As Suho headed directly for the war room, Kai told Lay, “The transport leaves in forty-five minutes. I might be coming in hot, certainly with an unwilling companion, and I need you to make sure that Chen is already there. We have to leave on time if we’re going to make it to the agreed rendezvous point by morning.”

“We’ll be ready,” Lay promised. “And good luck.”

Kai huffed out, “Thanks. I think I’m going to need it.”

Of course truthfully Kai didn’t think all the luck in the world was going to help him with Baekhyun. Not now that Chanyeol was dead and gone.

It would have been simple to teleport to the front of the house that Kai had visited half a dozen times when he was younger, but the last thing Baehyun needed was to be startled by anyone right now. It would be a bit of a walk to follow the path up to the house situated high up above the city, but Baekhyun would be able to see him coming and maybe there would be less screaming this time. Kai’s ears were still ringing from the last attempt he’d made to visit his friend.

“What do you want?” Baekhyun asked gruffly when Kai was only a few feet away from the house, and thank small favors there was no actual screaming this time. He was seated on the bench in front of the city, looking out over the land with a vacant, almost disinterested glint to his eyes.

“Can’t I just come say hi?” Kai asked, hands in his pocket. Baekhyun looked like he hadn’t changed his clothes in days, or brushed his hair. In fact he smelled pretty bad as well.

Baekhyun gave a snort. “The city is burning down around us and you want me to believe that you came to say hi? Unlikely.”

Kai turned back to the city and for the first time he had a high enough vantage point to really look at the damage. The panicked civilians had begun setting fire to things in a desperate attempt to get Suho’s attention just after the last hospital closed. Well, Kai reasoned closed wasn’t the right word. The truth was, right after the first non-gifted citizens began showing signs of the illness that had been attacking those with Mama’s gifts, a good deal of the medical staff had abandoned their posts out of fear. And now there were barely enough to cater to the injuries sustained by the military in battle. People were dying much faster than anticipated, and Lay couldn’t help them all.

Sometimes Kai felt sure everything happening was their fault. They’d gone out into the Deadlands. They’d obviously provoked something, maybe wakened it early, and they had started the chaos that was all around them now. And it was even possible that they’d made it possible for the shadows to strike more clearly at Mama, killing her, and taking out the last line of defense the planet had.

It made Kai’s heart ache, to know he was to blame for every innocent life lost.

“I see Chanyeol’s sister came by.”

At his words Baekhyun turned fierce eyes on Kai, almost daring him to mention the name again.

“I see the box of supplies,” Kai said plainly, pointing to the brown box near Baekhyun’s feet. Chanyeol’s sister had been struggling, more than the rest of them, to take care of Baekhyun. Maybe she saw Baekhyun as her responsibility now, because she showed up every other day or so with food for him and tried to force Baekhyun to look presentable.

Baekhyun closed his eyes and tipped his head back. “She won’t be back.”

“I don’t know about that,” Kai said with a chuckle. “She’s incredibly stubborn. You can tell she and Chanyeol are related.”

“Were.”

Kai flinched.

“And she won’t be back because she’s going to die. We’re all going to die. It’s happening right now.”

Kai felt his fingers curl into fists but he forced himself to remain calm. “There’s nothing written in stone that says we’re going to die. We’re going to fight, that’s for sure. We might die, but that’s not guaranteed.”

“Do you want me to list the facts?” Baekhyun asked, eyes still closed. “We thought we had until the solar alignment, and that’s still five days away, but here we are fighting battles we can’t win. Several of the guardians have exhausted their power boosts, the very same boost that are supposed to help us win, and none of that even matters because we don’t have twelve guardians anymore. We have eleven and a pile of ash.”

“Hey!” Kai snapped, taking a deliberate step forward. “I understand that you are in tremendous pain. You just lost the person you love more than anything else in this world, but he was my friend, too. I lost him too. And you do not get to talk about him like that. Not when you couldn’t even show up to the funeral to pay your respects. The king of M came for it, but you couldn’t pull yourself out of bed and put on a brave front. So just watch what you say.”

Baekhyun cracked his eyes open. “Mama is dead. Luhan’s lost his connection to her, and I’ve lost my connection to Luhan, along with my gifts. The life tree is rubble and the planet is crumbling around us. What do you want from me? Leave me alone.”

“I don’t care,” Kai ground out. “As long as there is a single, innocent person that I need to protect, I’m going to try. That’s what it means to be a guardian. You might have abandoned that part of you, but I haven’t. The rest of us haven’t either.”

“I just don’t care anymore,” Baekhyun said honestly, eyes opening all the way, revealing incredible sadness. “You think I’m being callous and heartless on purpose, but the truth is I just don’t care about anything anymore. I’m tried and I just want to sleep until I can be with him.”

At first they’d been filled with anxiety that Baekhyun would do something drastic. They’d taken turns watching him, keeping him away from anything that he could use to hurt himself. Now there were other things they had to prioritize, and Kai was content with the belief that Baekhyun still believed he couldn’t end his own life without forfeiting his right to be with Chanyeol in the afterlife. It was an old, almost archaic belief that a lot of people had left behind over the decades, but it held with Baekhyun. Thankfully.

“Lay and Chen are evacuating to a rendezvous point with some of the other guardians and military leaders from K in about a half hour,” Kai said. “I’m supposed to go with them, and tomorrow Commander Suho is going to call to abandon the city. We can’t hold it, and the shadows have been advancing on us for several days now. M isn’t much better off, between their own shadows and their people going crazy.”

“Where do you think you can go that’s safe?” Baekhyun asked flatly.

“We’re not going away to be safe,” Kai said back right away. “We’re going to strategize, pull our forces, strengthen ourselves, and then figure out what we can do before our time runs out. We’re pulling back, but we’re not trying to keep ourselves safe.”

“Huh.”

Kai rallied himself. “The thing is, Baekhyun, that I have orders from Commander Suho. I would really like you to go there with me willingly, but if you won’t, I’m authorized to make you.”

Baekhyun’s head cocked and he gave Kai an odd look. “You what?”

Slowly, Kai repeated, “Commander Suho has given the order that you are to be evacuated with Lay, Chen and myself. Your compliance isn’t necessary. But I respect you, and no matter how you’ve been treating me and other others, we’re still friends. I want you to come with me on your feet, head held high. I just don’t need you to.”

Baekhyun fell quiet and Kai desperately hoped he was taking a minute to think over the words. Then Baekhyun shifted and Kai could make out the small, decorative box next to him on the bench. The sight made Kai shudder a little. He knew without needed to be told that Chanyeol’s ashes were in that box. And Baekhyun likely hadn’t let it out of his sight since Suho had delivered it to him after the memorial service.

Unexpectedly, Baekhyun asked, “What if you had lost Luhan?”

Kai couldn’t even ponder that. “Baekyhun--”

“No!” he snapped, “What if something had happened to Luhan while you had been hundreds of miles away, wandering around a desert like a fool?”

“We were ambushed.” Kai moved forward slowly, perching on the edge of the bench, away from the ashes. “We went to investigate something and we were caught off guard. It was an accident that Chanyeol came into contact with a shadow and caught the infection.”

Baekhyun pulled the box onto his lap, staring at it. “He took the hit meant for me. Because I was an idiot, and had to go touching things that I didn’t understand. I was a target even before that, but I made myself even more of one after that, and I still let Chanyeol be around me, like he wasn’t going to be endangered. And then when I was in the line of fire, he pushed me out of the way and saved my life.”

Truthfully, Kai remembered very little of everything that had happened, resulting in Chanyeol’s infection and then death. He’d hit his head badly, concussed himself to the point of being unable to focus, and it was probably a miracle he was able to get himself and Chanyeol back to the palace.

He did remember taking his orb after that, boosting his ability just enough to get to Lay and get him back.

But what did any of that matter when it had already been too late for Chanyeol? They’d had to stand around him, trying desperately not to let their grief show while Lay held his hand, soothed him and promised Chanyeol that he was going to be just fine. Chanyeol had begged and pleaded for them not to let Baekhyun see him as his flesh rotted away, and it had been nothing but a godsend that they’d been unable to find Baekhyun and D.O. at the time.

Maybe Baekhyun hated them now because he and D.O. had been lost in the Deadlands for days afterwards. By the time they’d been found, dehydrated and desperate, near death, Chanyeol had been cremated already out of fear of spreading the illness.

They’d robbed Baekhyun of his chance to pay his respects to Chanyeol’s body, and it hadn’t even mattered, because they’d brought the illness straight to the heart of M, and there’d been no stopping it after that.

“I’m not going with you,” Baekhyun said bluntly. “I’m of no use to you. I burnt myself out. There’s no light left in me. There’s nothing I could do to help.”

“You’re still a guardian!” Kai shouted at him. “You belong with us. And frankly, even if you weren’t a guardian, you’re our friend. You’re our brother, and we’re going to keep you breathing as long as possible. That means you’re coming with us.”

Kai watched as Baekhyun bent forward, curling over the box.

Above them the dark blue sky quickly turned black and rain began to pour visibly in the distance. Suho was clearly on the move, maybe going out personally to see to the third regiment.

“I feel like ….” Baekhyun tried, shoulders trembling, “like the best part of me died. The only part that mattered.”

Kai rocked up to his feet and exclaimed, “Part of me is happy he’s not here to see this, you know? I really thought you’d be the last person in the world to give up and just let those monsters get away with doing this to him and to us. I thought you had a stronger sense of honor than that. But I guess I was wrong. I’m almost ashamed for you. And for Chanyeol.”

Baekyhun shot up, box going to the side as he shouted, “How dare you! Chanyeol is dead. The person I love is dead. We were going to get married and have kids, and we had a long life together ahead of us. Chanyeol was an amazing person. He had the best sense of humor, he was selfless, and he was kind and brave and how dare you!”

“Then stop acting like this!” Kai gave him a hard shove, sending him sprawling to the ground. “You want to know the difference between me and Luhan, and you and Chanyeol? You actually got to have him. You got to have him without having to share him. You could love each other without having to hide it, and yeah, you could have gotten married and had kids.”

“Luhan is still alive,” Baekhyun bit back. “Chanyeol is not.”

Kai rubbed a hand over his forehead, a headache starting to pulse. “Baekhyun, you asked me what I would do if it was Luhan who died?”

“I bet you can’t wait to tell me in the most preachy voice you can manage.”

Kai moved over to offer him a hand up and told Baekhyun, “If Luhan had died, I’d be just as upset as you are right now. I’d probably push people away, too, and lash out at them. I’d feel sorry for myself and just be so damn angry. I would feel like my life had no purpose anymore. But do you know what would happen just after that?”

Wordlessly Baekhyun shook his head, making no more to get to his feet.

“Then,” Kai said definitively, “I’d go after those bastards with every bit of me left. I’d make them pay, even if it cost me everything, but I wouldn’t have anything less than vengeance. I would kill them all.”

Lightening flashed in the distance, concentrated and powerful, and Kai supposed that was Chen joining in. Of course Chen was going to help. Chen wasn’t the sort to let anyone put themselves on the line while he sat back. But Chen going to help Suho also meant that things were more desperate than Kai had realized. The third regiment had been comprised of almost a thousand men stationed near the capital for the very sole reason of keeping it safe, and they had five soldiers with abilities within their ranks. Anything that required them to seek help was … extremely bad.

“Kai?”

“Oh?” Kai turned to look at Baekhyun, shaking his head. “Sorry. I was lost in thought.” He shook his hand out to Baekhyun once more. “I hope you’ve been thinking, too.”

Baekhyun groaned as he stood, then reached back for the box that held Chanyeol’s ashes and held it gingerly. He asked, “If Luhan were in this box, you’d fight? You’d make them pay?”

“I would.” Kai dipped his head. “I would give my life to make sure the person I loved had their justice.”

“We can’t win,” Baekyhun said softly. “I think even Luhan knows that now.”

“We can fight. That’s good enough for me,” Kai decided.

“Chanyeol would fight.”

Kai didn’t doubt that. “That’s how Chanyeol was.”

There was something changing on Baekhyun’s face, Kai just couldn’t pin down what it was yet. Maybe an acceptance of some sort.

“I meant it when I said I don’t have my ability anymore,” Baekhyun reminded. “I can’t do anything on the battlefield. My light was my greatest contribution.”

Kai reached out and rapped Baekhyun on the side of the head with his knuckles. He remarked, “Are you kidding me? Everyone knows you’re the brains behind Suho. I mean, Commander Suho is smart, but he’s more an action guy. You were always with him, from the moment he inherited his position, helping him make the hard choices, supporting him, and strategizing better than anyone else in K. There were a lot of people who didn’t even think you had an ability for a long time, and they didn’t care because you’re so brilliant. You didn’t need your light to be Suho’s most important war asset back then, and you don’t need it to be one now. Having power doesn’t make you a guardian. It’s what you choose to do in the face of adversity that makes you one.”

Baekhyun made an odd noise, catching Kai off guard. Then he made it again, and it almost sounded like Baekhyun was choking.

No. Wait. A second later Kai realized he wasn’t choking. He was laughing.

“Did you write that inspirational speech all by yourself?” Baekhyun demanded, laughing and smiling for the first time in forever. He was shaking with that laughter, almost leaning on Kai for support. “That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever … I can’t believe that actually came out of your mouth … you are unbelievable Kai.”

“Very funny,” Kai tried to say sternly, but it wasn’t long before he was laughing too. And it felt so good.

Eventually the laughter died down and Baekhyun rubbed away the wetness at his eyes.

“Baekhyun?” Kai ventured. They were still short on time, especially with what was happening with Chen and Suho. He hedged hesitantly to Baekyhun, “Want to come help me kick some ?”

Baekhyun posed, “Did you know Chanyeol’s birthday is on the alignment? Of all the coincidences, right?”

“I didn’t know.”

Baekhyun patted the top of the box, then put it down on the bench and reached a hand out for Kai’s shoulder. He gripped it tightly and gave a firm look. “I’d been so busy I hadn’t been able to get him a birthday present ahead of time. I still don’t have one. But I was thinking, getting him a little justice wouldn’t be such a bad birthday present. Right?”

Kai felt like his face might split with the smile stretching across it. “Baekhyun, that sounds like the perfect present to me.”