Yoochun is positive that Jaejoong is daydreaming. He would be insulted for feeling neglected when they have a project to do if not for Jaejoong’s breathtaking smile. Curious as to what the boy is thinking about, he asks, “What’s got you zoning out?”

“Yunho in his favourite shirt.” comes his friend’s response. “Smiling at me as if he thinks I’m the best.”

“I’m sure he does.”

“Then we’re kissing on a tree. He’s holding me tight and then…” Yoochun watches different emotions decorate his friend’s face. He frowns a little, urging him to continue. “And then I wonder if this fantasy is right. Because… because when reality comes to play… I might be slapped with the fact that we’re just in some sick make-believe reality. The realisation would devastate me and I—”

“Jaejoong hyung, stop.” he says softly but sternly. “I don’t know what triggered such thoughts but stop. That’s not healthy.”

“It’s this song, Yoochunah. It’s really good—” Jaejoong explains but Yoochun cuts him off effectively.

“If it’s good like you claim it to be then it wouldn’t make you dwell on depressing thoughts as such.”

Jaejoong looks at him with glassy eyes and Yoochun finally accepts the fact that they won’t be able to accomplish anything school-related today. Some other time then, he thinks. “Don’t you ever feel like… you know, like sometimes, I feel like this is just a dream. There is no Yunho. Well, there is a Yunho, but there is no us.”

Yoochun smiled lightly. At least they’re getting somewhere. “Same.” he replies honestly. “Who would have thought Junsu liked me back?” Junsu’s outburst nine months back prompted a confession from him.

“Junsu has always liked you.” Jaejoong admits. “Changmin and I have always known. We figured you liked him back since you don’t mind that you two are basically attached to the hips.”

“Hmm, true. Tell me, are you doubting Yunho hyung?”

The anxious boy is quick to deny although he knows his friend has seen through his lie. He might have come off as really aggressive and confident when he met Yunho, but as months passed, his facade started to wear off. He has gotten so insecure that he’s starting to hate himself for it. It’s not like it’s Yunho’s fault since the man has been nothing but amazing to him. Yunho showers him with so much affection and attention. He is well aware that his boyfriend is a busy man so when Yunho declared how he’s never too busy for him, he didn’t think he meant it. When he calls, Yunho answers. When he whines, Yunho is patient. And that is what’s starting to scare Jaejoong.

Yunho is too perfect. He doesn’t know what he has done to deserve someone like him. He tried not to be too hard on himself and convinced himself that he wouldn’t be with Yunho if he doesn’t deserve him. But most of the time, he remembers how he forced himself into Yunho’s life. What if Yunho felt compelled to be attracted to him? Because he’s Changmin’s friend and hurting him may result into hurting Changmin as well.

He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. The only thing he could do is stare at Yoochun, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.





In the nine months they’ve been together, Yunho already knows him too well that as soon as he catches a sight of him, the first thing he says is, “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Lying is not and was never an option when it comes to his boyfriend. He doesn’t know if it comes with being both a father and mother to Changmin, but Yunho’s instincts are one of a kind.

The moment Yunho pulls him down on his lap and wraps his arms around him, Jaejoong starts pouring out his thoughts and feelings to the man he treasures the most. He is thankful that Changmin is out and won’t witness him being a wimp.

“I’m scared.” he finally admits. He tries his hardest not to cry because once he does, all that’s going to come out of his mouth is incoherence and both he and Yunho would not appreciate that. “You are perfect, Yunhoyah. So so perfect that it scares me out of my wits. I’m nothing like you. I’m a klutz. I whine a lot, I complain too much, I stress you out over the littlest things. I’m a college student who depends on his parents financially. I am nothing compared to you. I feel like once you realise all that, you are going to get tired of me and leave me.”

A frown spreads Yunho’s face but he does not say a word. He is going to let Jaejoong finish before he voices out his thoughts. “I love you so much. You deserve someone better than me, Yunho.” He purposely ignores Yunho’s tightening hold on him. “Someone more… stable. But you see, I’m so very selfish because I want you all for myself. You have no idea how happy I am everytime you tell me you love me. It makes my heart flutter and I feel all sorts of things. Sometimes, I think to myself, what if all this is just a product of my wild imagination? What if this is not real? There is nous. I don’t think I’ll ever be prepared to leave you in my fantasy, Yunhoyah. I don’t want this to be over. I want us. You and me, always. I know I may sound stupid for saying that since I’m still young so what do I know, right? But I’ve never been sure in something as much as I am with my feelings for you. For whatever we have.”

“Beautiful.” Yunho finally says which confuses him. He tilts his head a little to look at his boyfriend who plants a kiss on his lips. “What we have is beautiful and it’s called love.” The older man sighs, starts running a hand through Jaejoong’s soft locks. “Get those nasty thoughts out of your pretty head, baby. I’m nowhere near perfect and don’t you think it’s dumb for me to let us get this far if I don’t think we deserve each other? Come on, Jaejoongie. We both have our flaws. You concentrate on yours too much that you’re forgetting the fact that I have some as well. Do you even remember the topic of your complaints? Most of it is because I’m forgetful. You remind me of things and yet, I still forget them.”

“Sure you do.” Jaejoong mumbles. “I keep on reminding you of your meetings which you always seem to forget and I have no idea why. I’m sure you functioned pretty well when we still weren’t together.”

“See. If you aren’t there to remind me everytime, what would happen to me? I’d be dubbed as incompetent and I’d be fired. And wrong. I barely did. I had my secretary call me once in a while to make sure it doesn’t slip out of my mind.” Yunho squeezes the younger man gently and intertwines their fingers. “When you demanded to see my weekly schedule and made sure I make it to each and every one of my appointments, that’s when I figured I no longer need my secretary’s help. Do you get my point, Jaejoongie? We compliment each other. You do things for me, I do things for you. Give and take. That’s how relationships work and ours does. Don’t dwell on problems that don’t exist. Don’t give yourself something to worry about.”

“I’m sorry.” He lifts their joined hands and kisses Yunho’s, rubbing the spot he kissed with the pad of his thumb after. “It’s totally that song’s fault. It made me ponder about life and relationships.”

“Silly boy. We are happy, okay? We have arguments, but we are still happy. We love each other, your parents accept our relationship despite the gap. What more can you ask for?”

“Well,” Jaejoong trails off, his lips. “There is something.” Yunho hums. “I mean, I’ve been busy with finals and you’ve been having meetings frequently… it’s been a while since we, you know…” To make his statement clearer, Jaejoong rolls his hips, his grinding against Yunho’s crotch.

Yunho growls as he gets the message.





"Is Jaejoong hyung done being stupid yet?" Changmin says once the front door swings open, revealing the subject of his curiosity. "You looked thoroughly ed." he deadpans.

"That's because I am."

"It's been so long but I still can't believe you let my father you up." A chuckle escapes his lips as Changmin walks in the house, to the living room where his father is. He follows closely behind him.

"How's your date?" Yunho asks at the sight of his son, his arm automatically wrapping around Jaejoong's waist as the latter settles down beside him on the couch.

Changmin sits across the couple and grins. "Blissful. Pure bliss, I tell you." It's not with the girl he's been trying to court for a very long time. He has long ago given up on her when he realised he was just wasting his time on someone who would never give him the time of the day. "She's lovely. We're taking it slow. Her name's Gayoung. Moon Gayoung"

Jaejoong blinks. "Moon Gayoung?"

"Yes, why?"

"Does she happen to have a long, black hair? And a really nice smile?" The younger Jung nods, slightly gaping at him. "C-changmin..."

"What?" Somehow, Jaejoong's making him nervous.

"She's my aunt."

"Wha—"

"Ah!" Jaejoong lets out his usual staccato laugh and Yunho could tell how forced it is. "I kid! I was just making wild guesses. I'm good, aren't I? Ha ha ha I should try my luck with lottery..." His laugh dies down when he hears Changmin's bedroom door shut close.

"Jaejoong," Yunho's voice is stern.

"Fine. She really is my aunt, okay? She is younger than I am, but she's my mom's cousin." He sighs. "It seems really complicated so I'm probably going to have a draw a family tree for you."

"Do it now, then."

"I've got something better. How about you do me now and let's save that thing for another story, hmm?"

Yunho groans. He just cannot say no to Jaejoong, can he?

x