a/n: italics is a flashback.

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His heart his pounding loudly, hand over his chest as he tries to calm his nerves down. Can he do this? Can he really do this?

 

He’s starting to doubt himself after Jongdae has left him alone in this room that smells like nothing but his bouquet that Jongin had picked out. It was a beautiful bundle of blue and white hydrangea flowers like he’d asked for, but it still didn’t bring a bright smile to his lips.

 

What was he doing here? Why was he going to get married to Jongin when it obviously was wrong. There were so many things that were misunderstood, and things that needed to be cleared up, but Baekhyun fears that it’s too late. Time was ticking and he should be walking down the aisle pretty soon. There was no time.

 

“Baekhyun?” Jongdae calls out quietly, peeking his head through the door. “It’s time.”

 

There’s no going back.

 

“O-Oh.” Baekhyun gives a strained smile, picking up his bouquet. “I-I’ll be out. Just give me one more minute.” He tells his friend, the latter understanding with a nod before shutting the door closed.

 

Once it’s shut, Baekhyun pulls out his cellphone to leave it behind, not wanting any distractions during the ceremony. When he reaches for it to check the time, he sees a text from his new found friend.

 

From: D.O.

Baekhyun, enjoy your wedding. I won’t be able to make it.

 

From: D.O.

Congratulations.

 

From: D.O.

I’m sorry.

 

The messages give an unsettling feeling in his stomach, eyebrows furrowing. What did Kyungsoo have to be sorry for? He hadn’t done anything but be so kind towards him. Sure it was a bit bumpy in the beginning, but they had managed to establish a stable friendship between them.

 

Figuring that he couldn’t do much about it, Baekhyun sends a few quick texts back, lips still curled into a deep frown. He really wished that Kyungsoo could have made it. The latter had helped him plan a lot of things after all.

Setting his cell phone on top of the vanity, Baekhyun gives himself one more good look in the mirror, taking a deep breath. “This is it.” He speaks to himself. “This is the moment that you’ve been waiting for.” He smiles. The reflection in the mirror frightens him slightly, knowing that it’s only his face trying to keep up with this facade that his mind is trying to trick itself into.

 

Opening the door, he sees Jongdae standing right in front of it. “You’ve been waiting for me?” Baekhyun gives a shaky chuckle, hands gripping on tightly to the bouquet.

 

“Of course.” Jongdae gives him a comforting smile, lending out a hand encouragingly. “I can’t leave my best friend out in the dark. Plus, I can’t walk down without you.” He laughs, making Baekhyun feel way more comfortable than he had been.

 

With each step towards the tall, polished, and beautiful white doors, Baekhyun takes one more deep breath and prepares himself.

 

“Ready?” Jongdae looks at him with concern, as if he thinks his best friend would turn away now.

 

No. He wouldn’t. He can’t.

 

“I’m ready.”

 

---

 

He can’t hear anything but the sound of his footsteps, feet quickly running down the sidewalk. He had just left the office building earlier in a hurry, nothing in his mind except Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun.

 

The wedding invitation in his hand is crumpled tightly, words embedded into his brain.

 

Myeongdeong Church. Myeongdeong Church. Myeongdeong Church.

 

Why would Baekhyun get married in a church? Was he crazy? Had he forgotten all the nights spent at Chanyeol’s home, curled up together in his bedroom?

 

“You know what I’ve always wanted?” Baekhyun asks, looking up at the ceiling as he brings Chanyeol’s fingers up to inspect them. The latter only looks at his boyfriend as if he’s the only thing in his world, humming in response. “What is it, love?”

 

“I’ve always wanted to have a garden wedding.”

 

“A garden wedding?” Chanyeol asks.

 

“Yeah.” His lover responds with a quiet giggle. “You know, the ones you see in the movies. The ones where there’s a pretty little arch, white flowers everywhere, and there’s fancy chairs set up in rows for the guests.” Baekhyun speaks as if it’s something that he really would like this in the future, making Chanyeol beat himself up to take notes on this.

 

“That’s all you want?”

 

“I suppose. I don’t want too much. I just want you, me, my family, yours, and our friends. That’s not too much.” Baekhyun grins, intertwining his fingers with the ones that belong to the person he loves most. “But all I really want is just you and I standing together. That’s what I want at my wedding.”

 

Wanting to tease his boyfriend, he scrunches up his face. “Why not at a church?” He asks. “Churches are just as pretty as your backyard garden.”

 

“You’re such an idiot.” Baekhyun groans. “Churches are pretty, but I want to get married somewhere different. Gardens are so beautiful and you know I have a love for flowers, you idiot. And I do not mean my backyard garden, you goof. I meant the garden where we snuck out that night. It was one of my most favorite moments.”

 

Who couldn’t forget a night like that? Lying on the grass while holding hands with the one person you love most. It was a night that they could never forget. Lips upon lips; hand in hand.

 

“Then we’ll do it.” Chanyeol beams. “I’ll become rich and famous to get the garden you want. I’ll get a beautiful arch that’s tall enough for me to go under, and I’ll get whatever kind of flower decoration thingies you like.” He chuckles. “You’ve been better at decorating and have better taste in those things anyway.”

 

The way his lover is so playful, yet understanding, it touches his heart.

 

“You’re an idiot.” Baekhyun sniffles, lower lip quivering as he tries to hold back his tears.

 

“And you’re a beautiful cry baby.” The giant teases lovingly, bringing his boyfriend closer to him, allowing the smaller male to cry into his chest.

 

“I love you, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol tells him. “I promise, we’ll have this wedding.”

 

---

 

A beautiful piano melody starts to play, everybody in the church standing up to turn their heads.

 

The wedding was starting and there was no Do Kyungsoo to be found. There was no Park Chanyeol either. Hearing this, Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he should be happy or not. Junmyeon was attending the wedding, so at least that makes him smile.

 

“I’m about to go, Baek.” Jongdae squeezes his hand lightly. “Don’t get jealous when I steal the spotlight for a bit.” He continues to joke, only getting a small laugh from his best friend.

 

Noticing this, his lips curl downwards into a small frown.

 

“Hey.” He tries to get Baekhyun’s attention. “Remember this,” He taps the tip of Baekhyun’s nose lightly. “You don’t have to do this. You can go back. There’s one last chance, and that’s now. I love you, Baekhyun. No matter what. And you and I know that Jongin, he’ll forgive you one day.”

 

Baekhyun doesn’t want to hear this, but he doesn’t say anything to his friend. Jongdae was just trying to help. He knew there was only one last chance, but he wouldn’t take it. This was his moment to do something in his life, to make himself happy.

 

Nodding his head once, Baekhyun watches as Jongdae turns around and disappears, beginning to walk down the aisle.

 

There’s not much time left before it’s his time to walk down that carpet. “I can do it.” He whispers. “You can do this, Baekhyun.”

 

One, two, three.

 

Once the doors that separate him from the chapel begin to open, Baekhyun looks up with a bright smile. With each step he takes, he can feel his heart thumping hard inside his chest.

 

There were so many people. There were some that he was familiar with, and some that he didn’t really know. It was alright though, because it was the friends of Jongin’s. Whoever was a friend of Jongin’s, he would gladly allow them to come.

 

Eyes looking to where his side would be, he see’s his cousin that had helped him find a place to stay when he ran away, his grandmother, and Junmyeon who gives him a warm smile. They’re the only people he really has on ‘his side’. His parents aren’t there for obvious reasons, and Kyungsoo is nowhere to be seen. It’s alright, he thinks. It’s all he needs.

 

Now looking forward, his breath is taken away at the sight of his fiance standing right in front of him. Jongin looks absolutely stunning in his tuxedo, gaze hypnotizing as he watches Baekhyun take every step towards him.

 

It’s that look that reminds him why he even fell in love with Jongin in the first place.

 

Jongin had shown him what it felt to be loved again. Truly loved. He looked at him as if he was the only thing in this world, like what Chanyeol used to do back in their younger days. He treated Baekhyun like a prince, and he will never forget that he was there for him during some of his hardest days.

 

Once the music comes to a halt and Baekhyun is now standing at the altar in front of Jongin, Jongdae takes the bouquet from his friend’s hands and gives an encouraging smile once more. He isn’t sure if it’s an encouraging or a comforting one, but Baekhyun returns the smile anyway. Jongdae just wanted the best for them both and he was thankful to have such a kind friend.

 

"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Jongin and Baekhyun in marriage.” The priest starts off as the couple join together to hold each other’s hands, eyes locking with each other’s. “Through their time together, they have come to realize that their personal dreams, hopes, and goals are more attainable and more meaningful through the combined effort and mutual support provided in love, commitment, and family; and so they have decided to live together as husband and… husband.”

 

Baekhyun figures that the priest probably hasn’t done a ceremony for a gay couple yet, because how many priests have in South Korea?

 

Continuing on, the priest goes on with the reading for the ceremony. Baekhyun can slightly hear the words coming out of his mouth, but his mind is just paying attention to the breathtaking sight in front of him. Jongin is just staring at him with all the love he has, eyes glistening with tears.

 

“Don’t cry.” Baekhyun mouths with a small smile, causing Jongin to chuckle lightly so that the priest isn’t interrupted. The latter gives his lover’s hand a light squeeze before they’re told to say the vows that they have prepared beforehand.

 

Of course, Jongin would like to go first, being young and eager to show his love to his husband-to-be.

 

“Byun Baekhyun, I love you. You are my best friend, my lover, my soulmate. Today, I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.” He speaks shakily, Baekhyun notices. “I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.”

 

His words pierce through Baekhyun’s heart, making the elder want to break down in front of him. The guilt was piling up on his shoulders, making it harder for him to decide on if this is what he should do. If it was so hard for him to decide on his marriage, how hard would it be for him to go on with the rest of his life with Jongin?

Biting his lower lip to keep him from crying, Baekhyun grows a wide smile before taking a deep breath.

 

“Kim Jongin,” He starts off, shakily just like Jongin had been during his own vows. “I promise to love and care for you... I will try in every way to be worthy of your love.” He remembers his vows by heart, having them prepared after their first year, just because he was just that in love. “I will always be honest with you, kind, patient, and forgiving. But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal lover to you.” He says it as if the words were true to his heart. They had been at the time, but as they come out of his mouth, he feels sick to his stomach. He’s a liar, liar, liar. He doesn’t miss the look of disappointment on Jongdae’s face either.

 

With their vows being said, Baekhyun tries to relax himself so Jongin can rid the look of concern on his face.

 

“"Do you, Jongin, take Baekhyun to be your lawfully wedded husband, promising to love and cherish, through joy and sorrow, sickness and health, and whatever challenges you may face, for as long as you both shall live?" The question comes, all eyes on Jongin as he answers.

 

“Of course.” He gives a grin. “I do.”

 

"Do you, Baekhyun, take Jongin, to be your partner in life and sharing your path; equal in love, a mirror for your true self, promising to honor and cherish, through good times and bad, until death do you part?"

 

Hands trembling, Baekhyun purses his lips. His heart is thumping loudly in his ears as he glances out towards the guests looking at him for an answer. Turning his gaze back to the man holding his hands, he musters up a warm smile and nods.

 

“I…” Baekhyun croaks. “I--”

 

He is about to end with ‘do’, but he’s interrupted by the large doors flying open, a panting Park Chanyeol running in, invitation in hand.

 

“Wait!” The giant yells out throughout the chapel. Baekhyun’s eyes are wide, full of shock as Jongin’s eyes are turned into slits, glaring at Chanyeol as he takes each step closer down the aisle. “You can’t!”

 

“W-What are you doing here, Chanyeol?” He asks, oblivious to the fact that maybe his ex-lover might be trying to take him back.
 

“You can’t marry Jongin.” Chanyeol ignores the question, trying to catch his breath. “I love you, and you can’t marry him.”

 

Jongin rolls his eyes at this, more than annoyed that this is actually happening at his very own wedding. Meanwhile, the guests that are attending the wedding all have shocked expressions, gasping coming from every corner. Junmyeon just stares with a small grin. He was proud of Chanyeol for actually stepping up, but he felt some sort of sorry for Jongin.

 

“You… You can’t just barge in here and do this because you love me.” Baekhyun frowns. “This is my wedding. This is Jongin’s wedding.” He grips on tightly to his lover’s hands, looking back at Jongin.

 

“I know…” Chanyeol frowns as well. “But don’t you remember?”

 

No. Baekhyun knows what’s going to come next, and he can already see the flashbacks in the back of his mind. You’re not playing fair.

 

“Don’t you remember the promise? The dream?” Chanyeol asks, fluttering his eyes to get rid of the tears that form in the corner of his eyes. “How about those nights we spent together in my room?” He presses on, looking down as his feet now to hide his face as his hand comes up to wipe the tears from his eyes. “I haven’t forgotten, Baek.”

 

He’s speechless.

 

Of course Baekhyun hasn’t forgotten. How could he forget? Even when he had tried to push all of these memories into the back of his small little head, he was never successful.

 

The silence in the chapel is deadly, not even a cough coming out from everyone. Even Jongin was silent, anger evident in his eyes; hand not even touching his fiance’s anymore.

 

“Baekhyun, what are you doing here?” Chanyeol looks up as he asks the question, throwing the petite male off guard.

 

“W-What?” He blinks, not quite getting the question.

 

“Didn’t you always want to get married in a garden?”

 

That’s what does it for him.

 

Baekhyun’s legs automatically lead him down the aisle quickly for him, brushing past Chanyeol who becomes startled. He doesn’t know where to go besides the room he had prepared in, going in the room, locking it shut, and curling up into the corner of the room like he had done the day he got the results of his first pregnancy.

 

Chanyeol wants to follow after him, but he’s stuck where he’s at, all eyes still on him. Hearing footsteps approach him, he looks over to see Jongin walking down the aisle as well. Just as he’s about to pass the giant, he pauses and doesn’t even bother to look at him.

 

“Stay here.” his voice barely comes out as a whisper, and Chanyeol only nods in response.

 

The guilt is eating him alive, but it’s not like it was an easy decision to choose. He didn’t want to be the wedding crasher, the one to break Jongin’s happy dream wedding, but his feet led the way and his heart told him ‘go’.

 

---

 

“Baekhyun, open up.” Jongin knocks gently against the door, even though his insides are burning with jealousy and anger. “Please open up. We need to talk.”

 

Of course Baekhyun wasn’t going to make him wait out there as he weeps because what Jongin deserves is a talk. The talk that he had always dreaded. There was no avoiding it; no detours, nothing.

 

When the door is opened and shut once again so they can have their privacy, it becomes quiet between them, none of them not knowing what to say just yet. Jongin knows what he wants to say and what he wants to ask, he just doesn’t know if he even wants to know the answers to them.

 

“Is it mine?” The question slips from his mouth before he can stop them from coming out from his mouth the way it does. It sounds almost in a way as he assumes that Baekhyun was sleeping around, but he doesn’t mean for it to sound that way. He just honestly wants to know if it was his.

 

“Excuse me?” Baekhyun responds.

 

“The baby…” He sighs. “Is it mine?” Jongin feels his heart drop at the fact that he even has to ask, just realizing that he just had these thoughts in his mind. He never really took Baekhyun for a cheater, but he can’t exclude the possibility.

 

Maybe he was being overly dramatic. Maybe he shouldn’t ask these questions. He thinks all of this just before Baekhyun lets out a choked sob, looking up at Jongin with a guilty expression on his face.

 

“I don’t know.” He whispers.

 

It’s completely silent after that. Baekhyun is more than frightened on what kind of expression Jongin has on his face so he doesn’t look up to meet eyes with him. He just looks at his feet, biting on his lower lip.

 

“Then what are you doing here?”

 

Those words cause him to look up, seeing a small smile on Jongin’s lips. It’s not a happy smile. Well it’s trying to be, but Baekhyun can see that he’s hurt. There are tears in his eyes, of course. He’s trying to be happy for Baekhyun; trying to encourage him even though his heart is heavy and it hurts like hell.

 

“A-Although we don’t know yet,” He starts off. “We do know that you don’t want to be with me.” Jongin speaks the truth, knowing that he cannot force Baekhyun to love him anymore; cannot force him into a marriage that he might regret for the rest of his life when he clearly is in love with someone else.

 

Meanwhile, Baekhyun looks at him with wide eyes, tears b his own as well.

 

“Jongin…”

 

“I know you cheated.” He lets out a small cry, clenching his fists tightly. “I mean, I doubted it at first… but you just confirmed it for me.” his lips purse, trying to hold back any more cries that try to pry out from his lips. “I trusted you. I loved you, and I only looked at you.” He doesn’t mean to put Baekhyun on the guilt trip, speaking from his heart.

 

“But like the cliche sayings say,” He sighs. “If I truly love you… I should let you go.”

 

Jongin leaves the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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