I was just a regular kpop fangirl, always looking forward to meeting the favorite idol and getting a smile or a handshake. Just recently, I had found a new kpop group, only they weren't pop but hip hop. It wasn't new to me since I grew up listening to 2PAC and other old-school hardcore rappers. But because of this, I was usually attracted to the rappers in these kind of groups.

Slowly I became infatuated with their main rapper, Rap Monster. He wasn't really my kind of guy when I heard him talk, but when he started to rap I fell in love. His lyrics. His lips. His voice. They had all played a part in my mind and heart. Whenever I got on my laptop, the first thing I would search for was his name and be looking at him for hours. Every picture of him was memorized and imprinted into my brain.

And I had a ticket to meet Bangtan in person. There wasn't a day where I was not excited to be there already. Which reminded me, that I was already in line, almost to the front. As I got closer I started to remember what he said about his ideal type of girl. A pale faced tall girl that looks good in a white tshirt and red converse. All which I had worn today. I thought to myself that I was the very opposite of his ideal type.

My skin was brown and average height, in America though. The clothes that I wore looked awkward on my body, I was thicker than all the other fans. They were mostly short and fashionable with their stick thin bodies. It had made me completely se