It has been forever and a day. She was just a memory from my past and an irreplaceable person. I didn’t think of her everyday. It wasn’t because she was a bad person, she wasn’t, but that the thought of her brought me down in each and every moment.

You would think that when someone has that kind of thought of a person, that they were in love. I did not love her. And with that, I lost her. She wasn’t that important to me. And so she became distant with me. I didn’t believe it myself, and I blamed her.

Every other day I begged at her heel, begging to speak with her. To receive even a look from her eyes. Her perspective of me changed from a kind soul to an arrogant child. No longer did I blame her, it was me that pushed her away. It was I that loved her and she lost me.

I wished that I could remember what she looked like and what her voice sounded like. I wish that I could take back what I did to her. Or whether she would come back if I showed her what kind of person I am now.

In my phone, was the only thing left of her. But there weren’t any pictures, no numbers, nothing new. Only held the memories of what I had before and after she had entered my life. In my hand I held my heart that I no longer needed and whether I had it or not, she wouldn’t come back to me.

I did not believe that this would be resolved with me being removed from this world. That would do nothing. I’m still alive to think of her and be d