Sehun POV:
"Sehun I love you. I have told.." I looked at Luhan,
"I can't do this.. I-" 
"Sehun. I love you," he started reciting the entry. 
"I have told you I love you, but you don't understand. My love for you is not just brother love." Luhan opened his eyes and took my hand,
"It is true love." 
"Luhan, please don't do this." 
"I have loved you since I was young. I admire you. I loved watching you study with this intense face and I loved watching you come to my rescue. You were always there for me. But one day, I realized my feelings.." 
"Please Luhan.." I didn't want him to go any further.. He didn't understand. 
"Let me finish. I can't do this anymore.. One day, I started to realize my feelings and I knew that they were impure.. I'd think about kissing you.. And being close to you, snuggling with you.. So I moved out of our room, I knew there would be a time when I couldn't hold back. Then I started ignoring you and pushing you away from me.. All of your life you protected me, and it was my turn to protect you. From this." He gestured to our injuries.
"But Gege. I can't do this anymore. I know this isn't fair.." Luhan used his other hand to wipe away his already falling tears. 
"Because You haven't had time to think about this.. But I'm going to give you a choice."
"Luhan calm down, you're still sick-"
"You can leave me, we will go on like we always did and I will never bring my feelings to your attention again.."
"Oh.. Luhan I-"
"Or choose me. But you can't leave me. Then you're stuck with this brat forever." 
"Luhan.." What kind of a choice is that? He ignores me or he sticks to me like glue? But he is my step brother. 
"You.. Of course but.." I had to think about this,
"It isn't logical. We can't do this sort of thing we're family."
"Can you just be stupid for once then? For me? Don't be logical. Be crazy. Do you not love me?"
"I do but in that way-"
"Oh." Luhan sighed,
"I get it."
"What?"
"I'm just your brother. I understand." 
"That isn't what I meant, I mean-"
"No, that's logical. You feeling something for your brother isn't logical, not something Oh Sehun would ever do." 
"You're not letting me finish,"
"You rejected me, and you want to finish?"
"Luhan!"
"Don't Luhan me-"
"I love you, you brat!" 
"Wh-" 
"Gosh. You just never let me finish a damn sentence and then jump to conclusions. Luhan, you are my brother. And I love you. But you're also my friend. And I love you." 
What am I saying? 
"So.." 
"I choose you. I'm accept everything. I don't want you to leave me so I will never leave you." 
Is this true?
"It's the truth Luhan." 
I was saying things I didn't even know I felt. But I mean, looking back.. 
I turned gay because of him. Now I see It was for him. 
I  got protective over him. 
Because I didn't want other people with him. 
I cared for him. 
More then a regular brother. 

We are not regular brothers. 

"Luhan, for now.. Don't let anyone know. We have to figure this out..right now, I love you this way, but you-"
"I love you that way too. We will be okay.. You've watched my grow, I've watched you grow. We know each other inside out." 
"I know you far better Luhan."
"Oh yeah? When you sleep. It's always on your right side, facing me. You hog the covers. You hate red meats because of blood."
"That's surface things. You sleep on your left side, you get too hot when you sleep anyways and you're a carnivore."
"But I also know.. That when you study, your face turns pink. When you yell,  neck vein pops out. When you cry, your eyes darken." Luhan was starting to joke around and smile. 
"Haha and When you laugh, your world disappears-"
"Hey! Koreans have small eyes. Okay?"
"And you always smell like kimchi-"
"Hey."
"Haha and you have a small p-"
"Don't even! Just stop!" We smiled at each other and started laughing. 

This feeling.. Happiness. 
I haven't felt it for so long.. The only person who could make me feel true happiness was Luhan.. And that's still true. 

"Sehun?"
"Hmm?" I was laying in the bed by his side, snuggled to his chest for a change. 
"Can we be kids again?"
"Kids?" 
"Yeah.. I want to go and eat all the sugar in the world and be scolded for it.. I want to cry and have you comfort me.. I want to be able to be with you all the time.. So can we be kids again?" I sighed and listened to his heart. 
"Yeah, let's be kids again."
We fell asleep. 

In the morning, I woke up on my right side, with all the covers. Truth is, I didn't know that about myself either.. Wait 
"Luhan?!" I jumped up when I saw he wasn't in bed. 
"I'm right here. Geez. I had to pee." Luhan came out fully dressed and smiled at me. 
"Good morning sleepy head~ let's go!" 
"What? They already checked you out?"
"It's 2:00PM." 
"What?"
"Wow. Okay. Come on, let's go get food, I'm starved." 

"What do you want?" I asked Luhan as we walked on the sidewalk. I could see my breath as I spoke; The weather was getting colder. 
"Hmm.. Meat." I rolled my eyes playfully, 
"Carnivore." I bumped his shoulder. 
"Herbivore." He bumped me back. 
"Squishy."
"Bony."
"Fatty." 
"Fatless." 
"Sumo in training."
"....." 
"Ooh. Good one."
"That's a Luhan original." He winked at me. For some reason, it made me blush really bad.. 
"Awww.." 
"Shut up." 
"What? How heartless! Look at those two puppies!" 
"Oh! Oh.. Puppies? Yeah.." Luhan leaned closer and whispered to me,
"Just kidding. There are no puppies I totally saw you blush." 
"Ahem." I blushed darker and cleared my throat. This kid..-__-
"Hehe." Luhan linked his arm with one and rested his head on my shoulder. Don't ask me how it was comfortable to walk that way.. But he was close to me, that's all I cared. about. 

We stopped for lunch and I watched Luhan eat a whole cow. Where this food goes, I don't know. But maybe this 5'10" male will grow. I hope we doesn't surpass me, but chances are that he won't grow to be 6'4". Luhan nagged me about eating more while trying to shove food in my mouth. I glared. 

"Come on~~~" 
"I'm not hungry."
"Pleasssseee~ for me?" 
"No."
"Awww. Don't you love me?"
"No."
"Psht. Please Gege?" 
"Nope." 
"....Oppa~^^" Hearing Luhan call me like that, my stomach decided it was hungry and my jaw automatically dropped. 
"Good boy~" The smile on Luhan's face said everything. He was in la la land for feeding his older brother. 
On our way home, Luhan pulled me behind a building where it was dimly lit by the street light. He 'pinned' me,  if you can pin a person that's 5 inches taller than you, against the brick wall. 
"Luhan haha what are you doing?" I took a strand of his hair and it. It was silky.
"Kiss me." He smiled up at me, and I smiled back down. 
"Luhan." 
"Kiss me~." His arms tightened around my waist, pressuring something I wish wasn't being pressured. 
"Luhan come on, it's getting late." 
"Please Sehun?"
"We should really get going.." Luhan reached his head up, but I slid from his grip. Not because I didn't want to kiss him, but by kissing him, something else (if you know what I mean) will grow and he can't... I mean I can't.. We can't do those sort of things. 
"Sehun..." Luhan's tone was sad and rejected. 
"Luhan let's go home." He sighed and took his position again. We walked home in silence. 
I showered once we got home and he did too after me. I laid in my room. It was a Friday night.. On Fridays, Luhan and I would stay up late and secretly eat ice cream in.. Our bedroom.. I smiled at the memory. 
"Sehun..?" A whisper came through the door. 
"Yeah..?" 
"Can I come in?" 
"Um, yeah sure.." Luhan opened the door. 
"C-can I sleep with you tonight?" 
"Uh.." I was hesitant because I was still dealing with my reoccurring growth in my pants. 
"Y-yeah.. Yeah." Luhan hopped into my bed, and like we used to, he slid in close to the wall so I was on the outside. I got out of bed, like it was something my body remembered how to do, and I the nightlight. The. I returned to bed. 
"You remembered.."
"Never forgot." Luhan snuggled closer to me. He smelled like sweet candy, the smell of a little child. Luhan will never understand, but he will always be my little brother. It's something you cannot just 'undo'. He suddenly bent his leg up. 
I froze. 
"Umm.. Sehun.." 
"Um. Yes.." 
"Please tell me that this is Maru.. Or a rock.." 
"Don't touch me there. Luhan go to bed." Luhan was quiet, and I was full out embarrassed. Could he know what those are? I mean he's- DUH I SAW HIM IN HIS ROOM DOING THOSE THINGS.. Gosh Sehun. He isn't 6 years old. Luhan kept on moving and shifting positions. 
"Luhan, why do you keep moving?" 
"S-sorry.." But he continued to move. 
"Luhan."
"Sehun..." 
"What?"
"Me too." 
"What, 'you too?'" 
"Touch me." 
"What?!"
"I'm like you.." 
Oh. Please. I squeezed my eyes shut, but Luhan's hand grabbed mine and brought it to his pants. 
Holy lord. 
"Sehun.. It hurts...I need you.."