Sehun POV:
Going into 6th grade was a nightmare for me. Not just because I still had no friends, or the fact that id be switching schools but because Luhan is having a melt down about it. Every night he fights with me or my mom about not wanting to go to school. It's exhausting.  The covers were all the way up to my neck, sweat swept my forehead. But I didn't care to remove the sheets, I was too focused listening in on the fight in the room across from mine.
"NO! I'M NOT GOING TO SCHOOL!"
"Luhan you have to go to school."
"I'M NOT GOING UNLESS SEHUN CAN GO!"
"Luhan sweety, he's older than you.."
"NO!" He started to hiccup, the way he did before his ultimate melt downs. 
"I WON'T GO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" 
"Luhan, please-"
"NO!!" Luhan began to wail, "SE-SEHUUUUNNNN!!!! I WANT SEHU-HUN!"
"Your brother is in bed! Please keep it down!" I waited in bed, not knowing if I should go to him or not. If he started to yell in Chinese then I need to go to him, but if he doesn't.. Maybe I still would.. When he yells in Chinese it's serious. 
"SEHUN! Bǎohù wǒ!" 
(Sehun protect me!) A phrase he uses a lot that always had me running towards him. He rarely used Chinese anymore, but I promised to protect him and he holds me to it. I jumped out of bed and barged into his room. 
"Sehun?"
"Mom I got this. Can you just go to bed?"
"Okay." She turned to and mouthed to me before she left, "Thank you." My mom knew that I was the only one who could calm him down. I was the only one he would listen to. 
"Sehun!" 
"Be quiet." I snapped at him, I wasn't annoyed but just rather 'let's get this over with.' 
"Come here." I let him follow me into my room, and I closed the door behind us. 
"Sit." Pointing to my bed, i the night light. 
"Am I sleeping with Sehun?!" 
"Don't speak. Just lay down." I got into bed with him as he snuggled closer to me. 
"I'll make you a deal. You can sleep with me if you don't fight about going to school anymore. You have to go."
"Okay!"
"No fighting, crying, or your huge melt downs. You go without complaining and do not tell my mom okay?"
"Then I get to sleep with you for as long as I want."
"No way."
"Fine. Then I'm not going to school."
"What a brat. Fine! Fine. As long as you want. Deal?"
"Deal!" 
"Okay. Now go to bed." 
"Okay.." It was silent for a moment until Luhan poked me. 
"Sehun..?"
"What.." 
"I love you~"
"K." 
"Sehuuuuuuuun~!" Luhan whined while he shook me by my shoulder. 
"Whaaaaaat??"
"I said, I love you!"
"And I said 'K'" 
"Then you have to say it back! You love me.. Don't you?" I sighed and smiled to myself, 
"I love you too. Now go to bed."
"Hehe okay." It was silent for another short moment,
"Sehun?" 
"Hmmmm... What?" I kept my eyes closed and rolled on my back. 
"Wǒ yào jià gěi nǐ." 
"I still have no clue what you mean Luhan. Please just go to b-" Luhan had climbed on top of me. His lips were now touching mine, but only for a quick moment. He rolled off of me and laid on my chest. My heart pounded wildly and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. 
"Wǒ yào jià gěi nǐ. I'm going to marry you." I didn't respond to him. Ever since Luhan first came, he would insist on marrying me. He'd say he would be a good wife for me- obviously he did not understand marriage. 
You can not marry family. 
I tried to shrug off the feeling of Luhan kissing me, thinking he  probably just didn't know what he was doing. He's only eight, still young. Is that too young to know?

In the morning, I slipped out of bed quietly trying not to wake Luhan. My school started earlier than his so I'd leave before him. I skipped breakfast- I wasn't hungry. The incidents of last night were still filling me to the brim. I ran out the door after changing and jogged to school to try to clear my mind. But nothing worked. I sat through first, second and third period with only Luhan on my mind. 11:44. One minute. Then I can see Luhan again. At 11:45 we are dismissed for lunch. Luhan's lunch begins at 12:00 and everyday, I sit with him. It's just become a habit after I would just check up on him randomly. The bell rang but before I could leave the teacher stopped me. She talked to me for what seemed like forever. 
"You seem to be in a hurry."
"I'm supposed to meet someone."
"Ooh.. A girl?" She smiled at me, not returning the smile, I excused myself. 
"No. My stepbrother." 
11:57. I'm late! I sprinted off to his school which was about 10 minutes away. Usually I would have five minutes to cool down so Luhan wouldn't see me panting. But today, I needed to hurry, I didn't want him worrying. I broke into a light sweat running all the way there. 
12:06. 
I'm not too late. Am I? I spotted Luhan sitting outside his classroom with his head in his knees. 
"Āi shǎ!"
(Hey silly!) I called to him. He recognized my voice and came running to me, burying his face into my shirt.
"I th-thought you weren't going to come!"
"Of course I would come. I'm sorry I am late." Six minutes isn't that bad, but to a child, where as one minute is eternity, imagine six. 
"I was held up at school. But I'm here now.. Let's go." He took my hand and we walked into the lunch line. 
Since I didn't attend Luhan's school, I couldn't get lunch and I didn't bring mine from home. So, I shamefully lie to my brother and tell him I had lunch already and let him eat. 
I don't mind it too much though,
I like seeing him happy. We also have out own special spot where the teachers can't find me and send me back. It was our own spot, and it was for the rest of my middle school years. 

Going into my ninth grade year was exciting as well as nerve racking. I would finally have a black jacket and be able to take advanced classes. The best thing was: middle and high school were attached. I could go to the middle school cafeteria to sit with Luhan; and I could eat. After school, we'd return home and do our homework in our room- i say ours because after I made the deal with Luhan, he never left. My mom of course found out but she didn't say anything. A little later, during my seventh grade year, we had moved to a new house. It was nicer than the one before- although my family has always been wealthy-and it was closer to school. Not that we were ever far away..but hey, I'm not complaining. When we chose our house, my mother asked us if Luhan and I would like to share a room. Of course, we did. There were other rooms in the house open for one of us to move out but neither of us took the liberty to do so. Luhan is now a sixth grader. He's still a cry baby and STILL insists he's going to marry me. After that night, three years ago, I have never forgotten. I had never looked at a guy the same way. Suddenly, kissing guys was OK I my mind- marrying them would be okay.. Before Luhan, the thought disgusted me, but something inside has changed. Sometimes I get angry that I can't be normal. I'm already weird enough as it is and then I have to become this way.. Gay. I don't tell anyone because I'd be teased even more, Luhan doesn't even know. 
And he'll never find out. 
I want him to live a normal life with a pretty girl.. I don't want him to end up like me. 
Miserable. 
Depressed.
Enclosed. 

Afraid. 

My eleventh grade year was by far the most challenging. I tried out for soccer, I enrolled in college classes and I joined cram school to get into a better college. It wasn't all that bad, but then I found out: 
Today was a Monday and it was my second week of school. I scrolled through my phone at the counter,

"WHAT?!" 
"Sehun! My goodness. What are you yelling about?" My mother almost dropped her spatula as she prepared dinner. I sat, gawking at the soccer team list. 
"It's soccer.."
"Oh honey.. Did you not make it? I'm sorry honey maybe next year-"
"No mom! I DID make it!" 
"AHH! I'm so proud! Woo HOO!!" My mom glowed. Of course it was natural that she'd suspect I didn't make it first. The soccer team is the popular kids. 
I'm not one of them. 
"What position?" 
"I'll be right in the action- whatever that is.."
"Congratulations Sehun!!" She hugged me dearly. 
"Why are you guys so loud?" 
Oh. It's 'him'. 
"Sehun made the soccer team!"
"Cool." I rolled my eyes at the little brat. I still towered over him, but the 13 year old puberty had hit him a tad early. Instead if zits, voice cracks and body odor, he was given Attitude. One day he just woke up and snapped at me, it surprised me of course but I understand. He'll learn to control it... Hopefully. 
"Wow.. Where did my cry baby little brother go? You should be jumping up and down clapping!" I walked up to him and playfully pinched his cheeks. 
"He's all mean and snotty now." I pouted at him; He death glared me, but I smiled back.
"Too bad looks can't kill." He rolled his eyes at me and sighed. 
"Okay time for dinner." 
"Dad!" Luhan called upstairs. No answer. 
"Dad!! ..Bàba!! Bàba!" 
(Dad!! ..Dad!! Dad!) 
"What?!" 
"Time for dinner!"
"What?!"
"Din- Chī wǎnfàn shíjiān!"
(Din- Time for dinner!)
"Okay!" 
After living in Korea for seven years, Chinese was still apart of our language. In the Oh/Lu house, Chinese and Korean was spoken in the same sentence. It was the life of a mixed family. Later that week, Luhan had friends over. He brought them into our room and when they saw me studying they asked why I was in his room. He told them we shared a room. Then they looked at the one queen sized bed and bursted out laughing. Needless to say, Luhan moved out of our room to the one down the hall. It was lonely, I hadn't been alone since sixth grade. But Luhan didn't seem to mind. As long as he fit in better with the rest and didn't have to be seen with his freakishly smart-skipped a grade-super pale-protective stepbrother, he would be fine. 
Luhan's and my relationship, for lack of a better word, disappeared. Luhan never attended any of my soccer games, and I could say that I was pretty good. I scored most of the goals; but still didn't make friends. I guess being skinny and fast is good for soccer. Me, being constantly busy with studying for school and Luhan always being out with his friends, we early saw each other anymore. Yesterday, he came home with blonde hair. Now, my mother and step father were surprised, but I was stunned. I lectured him for hours on his hair and how bad it looked. But the fight rose to a new level and I'm now not wanting to speak to him.
For a long time. 

Flashback:
We stood facing each other in my room. 
"It's fine."
"It's crazy!"
"Everyone's doing it!" 
"Not everyone."
"Yeah well most everyone."
"Just dye it back."
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"For me?"
"For you?"
"You can sleep with me if you dye it baaaaack~"
"No! Ew.  Why would I do that?" He jumped away from me, it hurt a little. 
"Back then you would have dyed it back in an instant.." 
"Yeah well it's not back then anymore." 
"Ok. But I'm just saying, not everyone is doing it."
"Yes they are."
"I'm not doing it." He rolled is eyes at me, 
"That's because you're a nobody. You're freakishly smart and you don't even have any friends anyways so how would you know what's cool and what's not?" Luhan seemed to me venting off steam,
"GAH! You still want me to sleep with you and I'm in the seventh grade! I like girls okay?! I'm not gay like you! Everyone at school thinks You're gay, but I'm NOT!" The words felt like a slap in the face.
My brother who had always idolized me.. Thought I was a nobody. 
And knew I was gay. I tried to hide it.. So hard.. He covered his mouth, probably regretting everything he said. 
But I knew he meant it. 
"Get out." 
"Sehun.. I'm really s-"
"Get out!" I'm pushed his shoulders with tears of pure anguish in my eyes. Slamming and locking the door after pushing him out, he pounded on the door. 
"Open up!" 
"I HATE YOU! You are a spoiled, coincided BRAT! All my life I've looked after YOU keeping you safe. And now you just turn on me?! You leave me because of your friends and don't acknowledge me in the halls. BUT WHATEVER. GO AHEAD! SEE IF I CARE. I DON'T NEED SOME STUPID STRAIGHT D+ TO BE IN MY LIFE!" I yelled at the door. Words I didn't even know I meant.... 
There was no response- for once. 
I let myself cry all night and I stayed home from school the next day. When my mom asked what was wrong I said nothing, but she knew. She knew because there was only one person in this house that could make me this upset. One person who set me off the most. 
Luhan.