Luhan knew, that this day will finally come.

His feelings toward Sehun weren't disappearing. Quite opposite, actually. From day to day his heart was beating even

stronger when he hears younger voice. His smile is annoyingly and almost painful, when he gets new text message.

From morning to late night Sehun is all he is thinking about. This boy became his obsession in moment when he walked

into that cafe. Luhan knows this is unhealthy, but he can't help it. He loves him.

Also, he knows, that Sehun love him back. Now, when he is standing there, with his hair ruffled on wind and serious

face, as he asks Luhan this uncomfortable question, which older boy don't want to answer.. Boy with honey blonde

hair feels his cheeks are getting hotter and he feels embarrassment. Sehun is perfect, literally. In older eyes, he was

most wonderful person on this planet. Younger boy is someone really special to him.
Luhan never was greedy, but when he met Sehun, he started to feel desire.

But Luhan couldn't be that selfish. He wants so bad to make Sehun his, only his. He wants to show whole world, that

no one can have this ideal boy. He wants to be his reason of happiness and smile. He wants to be only one Sehun

would dream about. He wants to be person, which Sehun would embrace and kiss his forehead before sleep. He really

wants.

And he knows he can have that.

Few words is enough.

But Luhan couldn't be that selfish. He won't let Sehun get hurt. He don't want younger to end up like he did. If

Sehun would be treated like him, back in his home town, it would be only his fault.

-Luhan.. Say something. Answer my question- Sehun brought him back on earth. Everything was wrong. Everything

should be different. Younger wanted reply, but Luhan doesn't know himself what should he say.

Should I hurt him now or should I let him get hurt later?

Luhan sighed -Sehun, it's bad topic to talk about. Come on, it's getting colder- boy continued walking. But younger

stayed in spot. His eyes were burning holes in older's head. Luhan was taking steps slowly, leaving Sehun behind.

Younger couldn't stand it. He finally man up and found the courage to ask him and Luhan just wants to brush it off,

without talking? There's no way in hell, Sehun won't give up so easily.

Taking big steps he came to Luhan and grabbed his wrist. Older boy stopped, one step further. They stood there like

this for some time, both didn't know what to say. Luhans back was facing younger. Sehun wanted an immediate

explanation. Luhan needed few minutes more to think.

Luhan's hand slipped from Sehun's grip and he took youngers hand. It was warm, soft and gently cover smaller, hand

belonging to older boy. Luhan pulled him -Come on, we'll talk in home. I don't want to talk about it in the middle of

the street.

Sehun did not protest.

~~

 Sehun always liked Luhan's flat. It is very small, but cozy and it smells like older boy. Actually, Sehun would like to

live in flat like this one, one day. Maybe it's not very spacy, but it have everything important. Luhan included.

Always, when he's at older's flat, they both sit in the kitchen and they're talking about everything. They rarely

doing something else. Eventually they lay in bed and watching TV till they fall asleep. But this kitchen is very special

place for them. Sometimes they're cooking something there on saturday evenings. They owe they relationship to that

room. So it won't be strange, that when they arrived to flat, Luhan dragged Sehun straight to the kitchen.

Luhan leaned against the kitchen counter, still holding Sehun's hand. They stood very close to each other. Older's

gaze was glued to taller boy's shirt. Luhan smiled -I was wondering, how can you be taller, even if you are much

younger than me- he chuckled, trying to make tension disappear. However, he failed. After few seconds his smile

vanished from his face. He waited for Sehun to say something, because he had no words.

-Do you love me?- Sehun asked. His voice was low and serious. Luhan looked into his eyes and he took his other hand.

Sehun approached even closer, leaving only few centimeters between them. Luhan smiled again -Why are you asking

me, when you know the answer- Sehun smiled back and he wanted to say something, but Luhan was faster- I have to

tell you something.

Luhan let go of his hands and he sat on kitchen counter, waiting for Sehun to come to him. Younger eventually came

and he put his hand on Luhan's sides. Older boy fisted his shirt -As you know, I'm not korean. I'm from China. To

be honest if I had choice, I would still be there. But I had no choice. I had to move out -Luhan smiled and looked

down on the floor, Sehun saw, that his eyes were full of pure sadness -I'm living here for 5 years now. So it means,

I moved out when I was 17. I was really young and I didn't knew myself what should I do. I was alone when I moved

back from China. Completly alone. But the point is, Sehun.. What I'm going to tell you is anwser for your earlier

question -Luhan looked directly into his eyes. Younger boy was studied his face and he already know this will be not

good -Your often questions: why I'm living alone, where's my family.. I will tell you now. I want you to know.

-When I was 13 I met a boy. His name was Junjie. We met at school library. Well, we bumped into each other. He

apologized and smiled at me and I thought he was really cute. From time to time I saw him in the hallway. I didn't

know why, but he was strange for me. Not in a bad way, quite opposite, actually. And before I noticed, I started to

feel in a different way. I liked him in a way I should like girl. I thought it was temporary. But one day he sat with

me at lunch and we talked a bit. I was red all over the face and I was acting wierd. I'm sure he knew I had crush on

him. Even stupid would notice. In the end of our conversation he asked me out and I agreeded of course.

-Back then I was thinking 'is it a date?', I was afraid, that he wanted to go out as a friends and I will make a fool

of myself. But I was right.. We were walking around park whole day. We literally walked the entire area and trust

me, this park is huge! Anyway, when it was dark outside he grabbed my hand. No one was there, so we could holding

hands freely. This was day when I had my first kiss also. You see, Sehun, this boy was my first love. We were

together for four years -Luhan sighed- Everything between us was perfect, but one day my older sister walked into

my room without knocking and she saw us kissing. And.. -Luhan froze. He cloed his eyes and he tried to forget that

day. He wanted to erase it from his head. Before he could calm himself down, tears started to make their way down

his pale cheeks -And she ran to told my parents. I grew up in very religious family. They were against homouality.

They were disgusted by them. They never accepted this even in one percent. When they find out..- Luhan started to

sobbing -they were mad at me. No, what am I talking about... They started to hate me. They kicked Junjie out of

the house. I was too afraid to even look at them.. That day my father, my beloved father beat me up. He did that

so brutally, I have some scars even now. Like this under my lower lip. It will stay with me forever and it will remind

me of this day.

-My mother didn't even looked at me. She only said, that I'm no longer her son. They both left me, beaten and lying

in pool of my own blood and they went to their bedroom. I heard them, talking about me. I didn't know what should

I do -Luhan started to shake. Sehun noticed, so he embraced him gently. After a while he calmy down a bit and he

moved away from younger -You know what they did when they came out of bedroom? They threw backpack at me and

said 'you have 20 minutes to pack, get out of here and never come back'. Think Sehun, how would you feel if your

parents said something like this to you?
-Awful- younger said quietly. His hands were on Luhan's waist, soothing him.
-You have no idea how awful. But I had to do what they wanted me to. So I took my papers, some clothes and my

money and I came here. I felt scared only by staying in the same country as them. I was afraid they would hunt me..

At first I wanted to go to Seoul, but I had good feeling about Busan -Luhan smiled and he pulled Sehun closer- Now I

know why.

Younger wiped tears from Luhan's face with his thumbs -Luhan you doesn't deserve such a fate. You have no idea how

sorry I am. If only I could turn back time, I would never let something like this happened to you..- Luhan smiled at

Sehun's words.
-Sehun, now you know why we can't be together? I don't want to something like this ever happened to you. I don't

want you to get hurt. People will never accept relationships like this.. And I can't let anything ever happen to you.

You mean so much to me, even if we know each other only for year.

Sehun shooked his head -Luhan, I will be more hurt if you reject me right now..
Luhan didn't let him finish -No, Sehun! You don't know what are you talking about! Just imagine, that in few years

you will not be able to talk with your mom, because she will hate you. Imagine your dad will want to kill you with his

bare hands. Imagine you will never see Soojin again.. You have no idea how is it when your younger sibling don't want

to even look at you, even after years, because they are disgusted by you. Sehun.. we can gain so much, but we can

lose even more.

~~

 Sehun is laying in bed and he is looking at ceiling. He's thinking about everythink what Luhan said earlier. Said boy

is laying next to Sehun, his back facing younger. They both weren't asleep, even if it was really late. Emotions were

holding them wide awake. Sehun was wondering what will happen to them right now. Since they ended their

conversation, they didn't even look at each other.

What should I do now?

Luhan is at his left side. His face was facing wall. Above bed was big window. There was raining outside. Rain drops

were running down the window. Only light in room was from lantern on the street, it was glowing with yellow glow.

There was tension and awkwardness in air again.

What people are doing, when their best friend  they are madly in love with is laying next to you in bed?

Sehun have no choice. He prefer get slapped on the face, than lying without moving in completly silence.

Younger boy reached with his right hand for blonde. When Luhan felt his hand, he turned and they eyes met. They

stopped moving again, but only for a moment. Sehun's right hand gripped older waist and Luhan without hesitation put

his head down, on Sehun chest. He was listening to younger's heartbeat. Older's hand was right next to his head, as

he was another boy on the chest. Sehun's arms were wrapped around Luhan, squeezing him.
-We shouldn't do that..-Luhan said . Sehun closed his eyes.

-I know.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Hello!

How are you today my dear readers?

I hope you enjoy your weekend! 

~*~

So, this is second chapter! 

I hope you liked it.

I wanted to write some angsty stuff . Kinda feel like it >.<

I don't know why, but I like angsty HunHan.

As always, I want to say big SORRY for mistakes! 

~*~

Thank you guys so so so much for yours comments and subs! 

It makes me really happy!

You are the best!

~*~

P.S. Maybe tomorrow I will do another update!

Saranghamnida ~

<3

~Ellie