❝Bleeding; 
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29th of July

He'd left early in the morning and come home late at night. we barely talk and barely look at each other. I've tried so hard to figure out what is happening to us , why is he being like this and what makes him changed out of a sudden and treated me like i was a stranger in his life. I know that he's not like him , he never do this to me , 8 years and he's been showing me his true colours , there's no side of him like this . 

He can't be playing games on me because it's too much , he went overboard with it if its true he's playing games on me. 10 days went just like that, i'd wake up without him next to him and go to bed without him on the bed . I'd cook for his dinner before i go back to bed and sometimes he didn't even touch the food , letting it there on the table full with flies. 

I tried to call Jongin again but it seems so hard to reach him because it's either he change to a new phone or he changed his number to america's sim card. I can't handle this anymore , the attitude he's been showing to me for the past few days . I know the old him is still there , and i can't tell myself if i hate him or not because i know i don't have that feelings in me. I never hated someone in my life , i never really gets angry to anyone and thats what makes Taemin and Jongin said i'm a soft hearted girl they've ever met , and thats what makes Taemin fell in love with me , because of my heart . 

It's almost impossible for me to get angry , shout at him like he shouted at me every night when i asked him questions. I can't shout and be mad at the same time because i'll burst into tears , feeling the heartache in me. I never asked him what is happening to him again because he'd shout back at me saying there's nothing wrong with him and i'm just being an idiot for saying that he'd changed. 

All his words really hurts my feelings , it feels like everytime he throw all those hatred words to me , it feels like it went straight to my heart and stab it like a sharp knife. I'm weak , i know i am but i won't give up easily on this because i know there must be something that makes his changed into another person , and there is still the soft and loveable Taemin inside him , deep down in his heart , i know it's there. 

I cursed myself , blaming myself that maybe it happens because of me , i've never given much to him like he gave to me. the attentions and the loves . he has done so much that i feel like i've never done a really good job for him but he never shows it to me , and he always say the less the better . but truly , i think it's because of me being so careless about it , and made him change into this type of person. 

I heard the door squeak from the outside , making me look at the clock . it's only 3pm . i walk out from the room to see him in the kitchen , looking for something . I'm so scared as i walk out from our room quietly but he saw me "where my lunch?" i was speechless . i thought he said he'll have his lunch with his friend . "i .. i thou-" "where is my lunch Jinri!?" he shouted making me jolted in my place . rubbing my hands together as i walk closer . 

"I .. i didn't co-" he slammed his palm on the table top making a loud thud "for god sake Jinri , how many times do i have to tell you!?" he walk closer to me making me take a few steps back "cook for me! didn't i tell you that your job is to cook for me!?" he shouted right in front of my face and i feel my legs trembling . "b-but i thought you're g-" he suddenly pull my hair making me moan in pain .

His grip was too strong that i feel like my scalp is ripping of my skin "T-taemin .." i moan in pain but he didn't ease his grip "don't! you ever talk back at me! understood!" he shouted right in front of my face and i have tears in my eyes , i couldn't see him as it gets too blurry .. tear drops as i nod my head to him .  He push me hard making me fall onto the floor and cry silently . "i want my lunch in 10 minutes!" he shouted before going into the bedroom . 

I forced myself to get up on my feet , feeling the pain in my head due to his strong grip . without any words , i wipe off my tears and started to cook something for him , trying to be fast or else he'll shout at me for being late. I can still feel the pain on my head and i think if he take it even more further , it'll bleed . I put the food on the table and i see him coming out from our bedroom . I didn't turn to lo