Jongdae
Apartment 23 | 2.0 || hiatusPersonality (pûr′sə-năl′ĭ-tē)
n. pl. Per·son·al·i·ties
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The totality of qualities and traits, as of character or behavior, that are peculiar to a specific person.
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Something people lack.
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A celebrity or famous person
12th of February, 2014
His fingers tightly clutched around his phone against his ear as he was trying to knock some sense into Byunghee on the other end of the line.
“It’s in two days,” Jongdae deadpanned. Byunghee simply responded with an obnoxious laugh. “No worries, little one. Two days is more than enough to get it done.”
Jongdae sighed. No matter how much he liked his friend, truth was that the man had way too much faith in himself, given his history. Valentine’s Day was already in two days and Blackjack couldn’t afford Byunghee missing the order deadline for his fridges and batch of non alcoholic beverages.
“If you say so,” Jongdae muttered, gritting his teeth at the orange smudges coloring his scribbles on his notepad, “How long per fridge?” He listened carefully to Byunghee and jotted down the dates and time. A wince washed over his face when something hit the side of his head. He glared into the kitchen before focusing again. “And per van?” he continued, and felt another ball hit his cheek. His fingers tightened over his pen, but being the wise man he was, he chose to ignore it, and noted down numbers again.
When his head had become a target a few seconds later once more, he upped his glare and made sure his sister would turn into a pile of dust at his glance. “Jieun, I swear to god I don't care who brought you into this world, but I sure as hell can take you out of it,” he hissed at the girl seated at the cooking island.
She grinned satisfied at the man and popped another cheese ball into , going the extra mile of taking each tip of her fingers into and them clean. Jongdae rolled his eyes and focused on his phone call again. Chuckling, Jieun scrunched the opening of the snack pack, making it crackle annoyingly, as she glanced at her sister seated next to her.
“What about this one?” Jina held out her phone for her older sister to check the dress on her screen, unknowingly distracting her from tormenting their brother.
Jongdae sighed in relief after he had scanned his notes, and loosened his grip on his phone that was still clutched to his ear. “Okay well, the grand total is less than I expected, but I still have to run this by Minseok to make sure,” he dropped his pen onto his notepad, and turned just in time to feel another ball hit his forehead. He closed his eyes to compose himself, and hung up without saying goodbye to Byunghee.
“That’s it,” he gritted and charged around the island to lock his sister into a headlock, almost dragging her from the high chair. “What did I say?” he yelled, but Jieun was too busy laughing and choking.
“Dad!” she coughed out.
“Leave your sister alone, please.” In time to catch the scene, their father entered the kitchen and walked past the island. He eyed his children as he casually poured coffee into his cup. Jongdae begrudgingly let go, but shot Jieun another glare. “You got lucky,” he sharply muttered to her and pushed her face away. Instead of taking him serious, she showed him a beam. “Right” she scoffed and laughed, “I’m so scared of your ty chicken arms.”
“Jieun,” her father firmly corrected her, to which she still managed to let out a laugh. Jongdae shuffled over to pour himself some coffee as well, while his dad took a seat next to his youngest daughter, and looked over her shoulder. “That’s too short,” he simply commented before taking a sip from his coffee again.
Jina gaped at the man. “It’s literally two centimeters above the knee!”
“And you’re literally my sixteen year old daughter,” her dad countered. Jongdae chuckled, but Jina shot down his laugh with a glare.
“Dad!”
“Even so, the color doesn’t do anything for your beautiful eyes, so keep searching,” their dad finished as he ignored his daughter’s pleas. “Okay, I have to get going. Jongdae, please check on your brother, he’s going to be late,” he continued and pressed a kiss to both his daughters’ heads, “Have a great day, my dears.” He shot a look at his son. “You, behave.”
“Why me!” Jongdae belted insulted, but his father simply smiled before leaving the kitchen.
“I told you you were his least favorite,” Jieun laughed, but her brother ignored the comment, as he had eyes for someone more important. He had already noticed Jina’s sad face earlier. Leaning on the island’s top, he gently nudged her her shoulder. “Look for something blue,” he smiled at her before shooting a final glare at Jieun and checking the time. After Jina had sent him a reassuring smile, he decided to get his little brother from upstairs.
While climbing up the stairs, his eyes trailed the framed pictures mounted on the wall. He couldn’t help but glare at Jieun’s graduation picture, but soon he found himself smiling subtly at their shot together. She was 19 now; four years his junior but still managed to get his blood boiling every single day. A few pictures up he spotted Jina, 17 years old, cute and his favorite sister. She simply couldn't do anything wrong in his eyes--that was Jieun’s job.
Finally, he reached a snapshot of him when he was 9. A baby slept in his lap as Jongdae played with its nose. His youngest brother had been a few weeks old back then, but he grew up to be a bright 12 year old and a freshman in high school.
This thought made him speed up the stairs because Jonghoon was almost late for school. He knocked on the door, grinning at the ‘NO TRESPASSING’ sign. Behind the wood he could make out shifting and thudding, so he carefully pushed open the door.
“Hoonie, you ready to go?” Jongdae searched for the boy in the room, and soon spotted him standing in front of his mirror, a frustrated look in his eyes. His dark hair stood into every direction but the one he wanted, it seemed.
“I’m not going,” the boy firmly stated and nodded.
“Why not?" Jongdae chuckled as he walked more into the room.
Jonghoon pointed at his hair, exasperated. “Do you not see this?” his voice went a pitch higher as he tried to get his point across. There didn’t seem much wrong with it, only some strands that looked lost in the air. Jongdae shrugged. “Looks fine to me.”
His brother sighed. “Anything looks fine to you because you barely have any,” he muttered and made some vague movements towards his brother’s head.
Jongdae gaped at the kid, offended, because he quite liked his shorter hair. He always donned a longer coupe so he could style it better, but during his last visit to the barber he had chosen to chop it off. Unfortunately, he found out that his hair didn’t grow very quickly. So even though he had gotten a haircut almost a month ago, it still looked well-groomed and as short as it was back then.
The elder rolled his eyes. “Okay well either way you gotta hurry up, because you have school,” he urged his brother, but was soon to catch on Jonghoon’s somber look. Scratching his head, Jongdae looked around and spotted a box of chocolates on a desk.
Grinning subtly, he dropped himself on his brother’s bed and quirked an eyebrow when his brother didn’t join him.
“I spy with my little eye something that starts with a C,” Jongdae sang as he crossed his feet at the ankles and leaned back on the bed satisfied. Jonghoon rolled his eyes and snatched a sweater from the floor so he could throw it over the chocolates.
Jongdae chuckled silently. “Your hair looks fine and judging from the messy floor, your outfit was carefully selected as well,” he sat up straighter again, “So what’s the real reason you can’t go to school?”
Jonghoon narrowed his eyes and sneered. “None of your damn business."
But even though he had snarled something like that, he still trudged over to his brother and plopped next to him onto the bed. He fidgeted with his fingers as Jongdae silently observed him for a moment.
“If this guy can’t accept my cute brother, then it’s his loss."
Jonghoon chuckled softly. “It’s not like that,” he muttered, but didn’t look up.
“Then what is it?” Jongdae gently pushed the subject, because the younger still looked troubled.
“It’s everyone else,” Jonghoon finally answered timidly, before glancing at his brother, “I’m planning on giving those chocolates, no matter what. But…” he averted his eyes again. Jongdae didn’t speak up this time; he trusted his brother would be ready eventually.
He smiled when he was right.
“I guess he really cares for what others think,” Jonghoon sighed looking at his hands.
Jongdae made a sound of understanding. “And that bothers you,” he clarified, but Jonghoon shook his head.
“I’m sure everybody worries about that, but I’m not like that,” he explained, his gaze lingering on the chocolates, “I think for my own, and take care of my own. But I just feel bad for him that he can’t make up his mind for himself, like he’s obligated to react as everyone else does.”
“You like him?” Jongdae asked, to which his brother nodded. “Then screw what everybody else thinks, for him. When you like someone this much, it doesn’t matter what happens. You stick together and be that person’s support, be their pillar no matter what.”
Jonghoon seemed to take his words into consideration, slowly nodding. “And the rest just has to accept that.”
“Correct,” Jongdae smiled and watched his brother’s beam spread. “No matter what,” the boy repeated to himself and nodded again. But even though Jongdae was happy his words had some effect, he couldn’t stop his smile from faltering the slightest.
“You know, you’re pretty wise for a twelve year old,” he semi joked and tugged at Jonghoon’s ear.
“Thanks,” the younger pushed Jongdae’s hand away, but showed his brother a timid smile before gathering his belongings. He swung his backpack over his shoulder and, hopping over a few scattered clothes, slipped out of his room. Jongdae listened to the whine of the wood before it thudded against the pane, leaving him in a silent daze.
“Acceptance, huh.”
While scanning the empty walls to kill time, Jongdae was reminded of why he hated high school so much. The mishmash of changing voices, low and high, kept ringing in his ears. Then, every hour these tones abruptly transitioned into the the shrill call of the bell, until it finally settled down and all he could hear were silent steps of some lost souls in the hallway.
He leaned back into his swivel chair, making it squeak with every sway. At the other end of the table, Yixing was tapping away against the wood while bobbing his head over-dramatically, lower lip between his teeth. His drumming stopped when Jongdae let out a long moan and swiveled his chair around.
“Why do I have to do this, of all people?” he complained as he leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. Yixing let out a laugh and shrugged. “Somehow the boss trusts you enough.”
“Yeah, but why!” he whined once again and swiped a pen from the table, which he began tapping against the surface. The constant sound echoed through the small conference room, and when Yixing had enough, with quick fingers he grabbed the plastic from his colleague’s hands. Jongdae gaped at him as he twirled it skillfully between his fingers with raised eyebrows. Taking the challenge, Jongdae tried to steal it back, but Yixing was quicker.
“You’re annoying,” he added as he leaned back into his chair again, the pen still steadily twirling between his nimble fingers.
“You smell funny,” Jongdae snapped back childishly, which earned him an odd look as Yixing questioned the man’s insult.
Realizing how lame his response had been, Jongdae shook his head despondently. “Nevermind,” he muttered and rubbed his face, exhausted. He hung his head over the back of his seat again and squinted at the harsh light coming in through the window. Outside of their room it was now silent; classes had finally started which meant their meeting should be starting any minute now as well.
“I heard there’s a spot opening up in the team,” Yixing’s sudden soft voice caught Jongdae’s attention and had him upright in his seat.
“What?” he answered surprised, his voice a pitch softer. Yixing hummed.
“Overheard Joonmyeon discussing it with the boss. Something about personal issues with someone in the team,” he explained casually as he eyed his fingers curling and stretching around the pen. His eyes flitted from his hands to Jongdae to check his reaction. However, Jongdae's attention was elsewhere; with a wicked stillness he watched the plastic Yixing was playing with.
Feeling off, the DJ stilled his hand and shot up from his seat before pocketing the pen. He sauntered over to the far end of the room where a row of windows looked over the parking lot in front of the school. One window to the side was opened on a crack, allowing a light breeze to meet with the individuals inside.
“You hear who it was?” Jongdae asked once Yixing had closed the window and the room was filled with a moment of silence. Yixing didn’t turn towards the table. “Nope, but it sounded pretty serious.”
Jongdae looked up at his colleague but as he wanted to speak up, he was interrupted by someone entering the room.
“Gentlemen, my apologies for the hold up,” a young woman smiled at the two men as she lifted her suitcase onto the table. “Business per usual, but I managed to bring the necessary documents and information for our event at your establishment.”
Jongdae’s attention was pulled towards the principal; Yixing had already joined the woman and was thumbing through the pile of folders. Silently, the bartender pulled himself closer to the table. But a few seconds later, he found himself zoning out of the conversation and his eyes traveling to his left, making sure the window was shut because he swore he could feel a chill run down his spine.
14th of February, 2014
“Got a date?”
Yixing’s dim voice emerged from the music playing softly through the club. Side-eying the DJ, Jongdae frowned. “For what?”
As he waited for Yixing’s response, his vision trailed down to where pink heart-shaped balloons were bouncing lightly along the lit tiles. He spotted Byunghee and almost missed Yixing’s answer, because he was still amazed their supplier had pulled through and was on time with the fridges.
“Tonight?” Yixing answered and straightened, leaving the music for what it was and joined Jongdae at the railing of the Cage. The lack of answer had him observe Jongdae for a moment; the latter was impatiently tapping his fingers against the steel edge. Sighing inaudibly, Yixing crossed his arms. “How’re you holding up?”
Jongdae looked up and, out of habit, searched Yixing’s face for any trace of oblivity. Today he found that the Chinese-bred was worried.
He shook his head and brought his hands up to rub his eyes so he didn’t have to face his colleague in this state. “I don’t know,” he muttered from behind his fingers, “have you ever felt so overpowered by everything, that you just don’t know where to even begin?”
Yixing hummed, thinking. He pulled his eyes away from the dread before him, and observed the flurry of people outside of his trusty cage. Minseok was discussing something with Joonmyeon at the bar, and judging from all the papers adorning the shiny top, Yixing figured it was about their Valentine’s high school dance later that night. A little down to their right, the DJ found Hana laughing at something Byunghee had said, with Jina, Jongdae’s youngest sister, sitting with them, giggling as well.
“I know what you mean,” Yixing answered Jongdae’s rhetorical question and scanned the balloons. Amidst the pink sea of hearts, he found Sehun and Chaeri filling up balloons with an oxygen and helium tank, and tying them to weights to make them decorative pieces. Yixing chuckled lightly when Chaeri accidentally let one helium-filled balloon slip from her hands. But swift as Sehun was, he caught it before it could travel up to the ceiling, and handed it back to the woman. She showed him a thankful smile, which the blond returned before both of them continued with their job.
Yixing’s gaze lingered a second longer before he focused on Jongdae again.
“It’s hardest to grab the problem by the root, but unfortunately that’s where you have to start. Once that’s solved, the rest will soon follow.”
He cocked his head at Jongdae when the man turned to the dashboard, and began some of the protruding buttons and sliders. His eyes, however, trailed to the duo on the dancefloor, Yixing noticed. With a meager smile, Yixing returned to his post and slid his headphones on again, but left one ear uncovered.
“Look, I know it’s none of my business,” he began, but Jongdae didn’t look up, “but you’re my friend and you worry me. I know this whole issue with Chaeri has taken quite a toll on her relationship with Hana, and that everyone is acting all wary around her as if she’s a ticking timebomb.”
Jongdae winced at this; he knew he was at fault for that as well, but he honestly didn’t know how else to act.
“It’s harsh to say but fact is, she apologized. The girl realized her wrongdoings and is trying her best to make up for it,” Yixing added, though he knew he had hit a sensitive spot before Jongdae had even uttered an answer.
“It’s not something that can be solved with a simple apology,” the man muttered, not out of spite, but as if to convince himself.
“Why not?” Yixing instantly played back. Jongdae turned to him to reply but the DJ interrupted him. “I hate to say this, but you’re not the best friend that got stabbed in the back. You’re the boyfriend that was supposed to be there for her when hit the fan, not tap out because it’s tough.”
Jongdae’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he was searching for the right words, a reply, anything to counter Yixing’s direct hit to his pride, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t the victim in the situation; he had made himself one.
Yixing saw the realization that had dawned upon the man, pushing a satisfied grin onto his lips.
“Of course we could expect that the vibes would be a bit tense with her around, but in my honest opinion, it shouldn’t have. This issue is between Hana and Chaeri, no one else.” Yixing pursed his lips. “But then again, everyone has connections with each other so obviously that would soon become a gray area.”
He glanced at Jongdae. The man wasn’t frowning anymore, but his lips were firmly pressed together and his arm hung limp along his body. However, his eyes were sharp and zoned in on the duo downstairs.
“If even Sehun there can have a civil conversation with that little lady downstairs, shouldn’t you be well on your way as well?”
At this, Jongdae’s lips twitched into a smile. “Should’ve started your speech off with an old Chinese proverb,” he turned to Yixing, his smile still there. The DJ noticed his joking air. “Would’ve knocked me off my feet.”
Yixing chuckled, his curls shifting as he placed his headphones over his ears and nodded at the stairs for him to go. Jongdae expression hadn’t fallen; Yixing even noticed a familiar spark in his eyes when he leaned forward and pushed a random slider on the board, making beams of green and white light up the club. Grinning, Jongdae dashed down the few steps to the DJ's bridge running through the dancefloor to the bar, ignoring the looks that were shot towards the Cage.
When he had reached Sehun and Chaeri, the blond looked him over. “Were you touching things you’re not supposed be touching again?” he stated unamused while tying a balloon, which he then handed over to Chaeri to add a black ribbon.
“Maybe,” Jongdae quickly answered, but turned to Chaeri again who was focusing on tying the silky ribbon around the knot. “Chae, could I talk to you for a minute?” he sounded breathless as he spoke. The woman looked up, her eyes wide at his sudden request, and couldn’t answer immediately. Her gaze shifted to Sehun, who simply nodded.
“Go, I got things here.”
Hesitating for a moment, Chaeri handed him the ribbon and the rest of the balloons she was holding, but ended up smacking him with the bouquet. Sehun closed his eyes in obvious frustration when he was lost in the bunch of rubber, and huffed even more irritated when Chaeri began apologizing and trying to get him out of the bunch.
“Just go, Chaeri, I swear,” he gritted when she wasn’t making a difference and the strings began twirling together instead. Smiling apologetically, she let go of the few ribbons she was still holding and allowed Jongdae to cup her shoulder and lead her towards the bar. He greeted his sister and Hana upon arrival, but zoomed in on the former.
“If you still need a date, he’s all yours,” he explained vaguely to his sister, but Jina soon caught on as her eyes grew to the size of saucers. “Really?” she exclaimed happily, to which her brother nodded with a faint smile. Jina’s little crush on their DJ was cute, and even though Jongdae had forbidden her to date him, or any boy for that matter, he thought Yixing had proven himself more than worthy this evening.
His sister moved around the bar to hug him. “I love you!” she squealed before running up the bridge to the Cage. Jongdae pressed his lips together in a subtle beam and nodded at Hana before leading Chaeri to the backroom again. Hana returned his gesture and shuffled over to her bickering boss and colleague.
The door thudded to a close once Jongdae and Chaeri had slipped into the room. His hands felt clammy so he flattened them against the cold surface as he leaned against the door. Chaeri lingered in the middle of the room, her hands stuffed into the front of her apron. “What’s up?”
Jongdae noticed she seemed quite relaxed, even though he thought her to be surprised a few moments earlier. Maybe this was what Yixing had meant earlier; she was trying to make things right again by showing her best side. He rubbed his hands over his thighs and closed his eyes for a moment. He was a .
“Jongdae?” Chaeri asked again and took a step closer. Jongdae locked their gazes but the moment he did, he felt his resolve crumbling. He averted his eyes again and hurried around her while running a wild hand throug his hair.
“Are you okay? Do I need to call someone?” he heard Chaeri shuffle towards the door, but he quickly looked up and reached out. “No!” he exclaimed a little louder than he wanted, but at least it stopped Chaeri in her step. “Are you sure?” she asked, wide eyed and worried.
Silently, he took a few steps towards her and nodded. “I’m okay,” he assured and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m just…” he let out a sigh before locking his gaze with Chaeri’s again. Her bright eyes were patiently waiting for him, her hands out of her apron but nervously clutching to the material. She was slightly flushed, but Jongdae had no idea why; all he saw was that she still looked so very beautiful. Her auburn fringe was braided back into half a crown, keeping it from falling into her eyes, and he couldn’t be more thankful that he could finally look her in the eye today.
“I’m sorry,” his voice was almost inaudible when he spoke up, but Chaeri caught it. “I’m sorry,” Jongdae repeated and took a step closer, “for everything.”
Chaeri grew confused, for her eyebrows crinkled together and her head cocked to the side slightly. “Why?” she muttered her question, as if she was incapable of forming the word. Jongdae took another step closer. The woman’s eyes fell to his hands that were nearing her and gently settled around her wrists. He tugged lightly and surprised her once more by engulfing her in a hug, wrapping his arm around her shoulders with a hand cupping her head as he tightened his grip around her body. Chaeri stiffened.
“I’m sorry for leaving you alone,” he finally muttered into her hair, “I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me the most, for shunning you,” he winced internally once he had said it out loud. He hadn’t realized he was doing something terrible, and only now had he grasped the concept of what he was: a complete selfish .
“I don’t know what else to say to make you believe me. I understand if you wouldn’t, because I have said some horrible things.”
For a moment they remained silent. Then, when the words had sunken in, Jongdae felt a pair of hands come to his sweater, loosely hugging him back. Relieved, he tightened his hold on her before letting go enough for him to see her face. His shaky hand came to cup her face gently, and he her cheek with his thumb.
“Let me be there for you,” he spoke softly as he made sure their locked gazes wouldn’t falter, though his heart ached when he saw her glazed orbs. “Please.”
Jongdae’s relief was at its peak, and he felt himself soar when Chaeri showed him a delicate smile and her hand moved over his. But as her eyes shut, so did her heart.
And maybe, just maybe, if Jongdae hadn’t been so obstinate--if only he hadn’t been so stubborn and pushed her away, Chaeri’s answer wouldn’t have hurt as much.
AN; [4.6.16] its almost been a year since i last updated, but it has been some year for me that i honestly just want to leave behind me and go on with my life. together with my minor abroad in canada for the past 5 months, and the pressure from uni, -and- parental stress, im left as an empty shell. but no worries, ive been feeling a lot better, and it has narrowed down to only stress for my upcoming exams. this doesnt justify not updating for so long, or even informing you guys properly. i just didnt feel like doing -anything-, so this is absolutely nothing personal.
anyway, im not entirely back either because as i mentioned, i have exams in a few weeks and i really have to pass these, but i wont disappear. i had to rewrite a chunk of this chapter because the iphone , but here it is. im not entirely satisfied of how this came out, but ive rewritten enough parts and it just isnt coming to me. it mainly consists of yixing/jongdae and his obvious issue that is a bother. do share your thoughts on this, because im a little lost. but again no worries, because i got the next chapters somewhat figured out for myself.
its nice to be back, but i cant wait to just be graduated and done and have all the time in the world. but enough about that.
HOW HAVE YOU ALL BEEN! DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY PLANS FOR SUMMER? 1 MORE MONTH AND WE CAN BREATHE AGAIN, GUYS, WE GOT THIS!!!
im not even sure if people read this but if you do, then thumbs up and maybe drop a message?
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