Sehun
Apartment 23 | 2.0 || hiatusfamily ('faemli)
n, pl families
1. one of life's greatest blessings
2. parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not
3. the one thing in life you can never change and usually the one thing you want the most
30th of January, 2014
A soft breeze allowed strands of the deep black hair to sway together with the motions of the wind. The sound of child’s laughter mixed with light patter of rain against the window.
“It’s so rainy~” a woman’s voice echoed through the room, intermingling with the droplets of water that knocked softly against the window.
A twitch.
Baby babbling, the sound of metal falling to floor.
The picture distorted.
“Why couldn’t you let us sleep!”
Sehun’s eyes snapped open with a gasp escaping his lips, his heart racing in his chest. The darkness was gone, his bedside lamp was on and a sound of life sounded in his room.
“Oh you’re up,” Hana’s voice reached his ears. Moving his head so he could see the door opening to his bathroom, he spotted Hana near it wearing his shirt, her long hair flowing loosely against her back.
Spotting movement in the corner of her eyes, she smiled at the lump that still laid in bed. "Good morning, sleepyhead," she grinned at Sehun and tied her hair into a high ponytail. The blond blinked at the woman, no words slipping from his lips as a chill ran through his body, the dream still lingering in his mind. At the lack of response, Hana noticed that something was off in his behavior. She checked the 'early'-card off her list because even though Sehun was not particularly a morning person, he would always greet her in the mornings - no matter what.
Tying the strings of her sweatpants, Hana walked over to the still silent Sehun and crawled onto her side of the bed, sitting on her legs as she gently his head. “What’s wrong?” she asked softly and watched him close his eyes against her touch. He then placed his bare arm on her pillow, which Hana took as a sign for her to lay down with him. As the blond wanted, she moved next to him, placing her head in the crook of his neck and pressing a kiss against his jaw. Her arms instinctively found their way around his body, as did his but his hold was tighter this morning. Still not uttering a word, Sehun buried his nose into her hair and let out a subtle sigh as he closed his eyes.
“It’s nothing,” he muttered against her hair and her shoulder to assure her of his words.
Hana was not convinced.
Sehun didn’t need to see Hana’s face to know that she hesitated to believe his answer. But instead of throwing a counter comment, she looked up at him and cupped his cheek, gently it with her thumb before kissing him. “I’m meeting my dad for lunch at one,” she muttered against his lips before she slipped back into her lying position, “I know he means well but I have a feeling he doesn’t just want to chat about the weather.”
“I can drop you off,” Sehun answered, his voice muffled because he had nuzzled his face into her neck. Hana moved back, to the bartender’s dismay, and ran her finger along his jaw to his lips. Again, she saw the absence reflecting in his eyes.
“I love you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. It still managed to make Sehun smile against her finger and move to kiss her again, this time deeper when he moved his body closer to her.
“I love you more.”
With his fingers tight over the steering wheel, Sehun checked the time on the dashboard. 1.15 PM. He sighed and quickly washed his hand over his face before focusing on the snow free road again. The street began to become less and less crowded with cars as a school came into sight. The parking lot in front was filled with cars but thankfully he managed to find a spot. Stepping out into the snow-covered lot, instantly the sound of children’s laughter and gleeful chirps sounding from the courtyard filled the cold air.
Dozens of tiny figures playing around occupied the yard, protected by larger versions – their parents – as they played together or observed how their child was having fun with classmates. A small smile settled onto his lips when Sehun stepped into the courtyard and searched for the familiar red beanie but it turned out the red beanie found him first.
“Uncle Hun!”
At the mention of his name, Sehun instantly spotted a small figure running his way, his feet almost slipping away a few times, giving the already amusing sight a hint of innocence. “There’s my big man!” Sehun smiled widely and crouched down with opened arms for Hanhae to jump into. It turned out to be a stupid idea because in the end they both ended up falling into the snow, both laughing. The blond sat up with his nephew in his lap. “See how strong I’ve gotten?” Hanhae smiled widely as he beamed nothing but satisfaction.
Sehun studied the boy’s features and ran a clothed hand over his red cheek from the cold before smiling. “Yeah,” he replied, his smile widening, “I’m proud of you.”
Hanhae let out another happy laugh before climbing out of his uncle’s lap and pulling him up. Following this action, the school bell rang, resulting in Hanhae pulling his uncle into his school to his classroom. Even though the hallways were filled with parents and children, Sehun still managed to see the walls that were covered in child-made banners, reading ‘parents day’, children’s drawings of families, and other creative art pieces.
The blond studied them as he slid out of his winter coat and hung it off Hanhae’s appointed hook on the wall when they had reached his classroom. His nephew had already taken him by the hand and was leading him somewhere again but what he couldn’t help but notice was the constant stares that he got from women around him – mothers and female teachers from classes next to Hanhae, wearing seductive smiles and satisfied eyes that studied his every move.
Sehun politely bowed at them with a small smile, hiding his nerves fairly well as he followed his nephew. His blond hair was pushed back into a side parting, giving him a neat look. Together with his neat blue striped dress shirt and black slacks, Sehun seemed a little out of place but it was an attire that he found comfortable and he normally wore at the club. The ladies didn’t exactly mind, though.
In the end, Sehun realized Hanhae had led him to his little table. Smiling at the size, he sat down on the tiny chair and let the boy sit in his lap. Other parents soon followed and when everyone was properly seated, they got a little introduction to their afternoon. Because it was parents day, the mother and father of the children could come to school to see what their kid was up to and play with them until three, when the school day was over.
During the little intro, Sehun looked around and spotted mainly mothers together with their children – occasional fathers but they were scarce. Scanning the room killed the time as Hanhae mindlessly played with his uncle’s long fingers and before they knew it, the children were free to do whatever they wanted. Hanhae immediately showed Sehun his art works that hung from the walls, standing proudly at the ‘family wall’.
“That looks really nice, Han,” Sehun smiled when he crouched down next to his nephew. “Who are they?” he asked as he pointed at the figures in the drawing. “This is grandma!” Hanhae enthusiastically pointed at the tall female figure with half long hair – like his mother.
“This is Miss Kim!” he continued to point at another female figure in the drawing with gray hair. “This is Uncle Hun!” he pointed at a tall male figure with spiky yellow hair and, surprisingly and seemingly, a white dress shirt and black pants – his standard outfit for he also wore something similar now.
“This is aunt Nana!” Hanhae pointed at a shorter female figure drawn next to him and Sehun couldn’t help but chuckle because Hanhae’s nickname for Hana still amused him to the day. “And this is me!” the boy finally finished off by pointing at a tiny figure in said ‘aunt Nana’s’ arms. “My family,” Hanhae added with a proud smile as he looked at his drawing. At the younger’s words, Sehun felt his chest constrict so he took a subtle deep breath to keep himself in check. “It’s beautiful, Hanhae.”
After this, a few more drawings of the boy were showcased. There were occasions of interruption because some parents were curious of who Sehun was and what exactly his relation was to Hanhae. Sehun just remained politely vague every time he got approached because it truly was none of their goddamn business.
After the tour and play moments, the two ended up in the playing corner. Children’s voices mixed with adult ones, forming a constant buzz around them.
“Uncle Hun?”
“Hmm?” Sehun responded as he let one familiar voice into his system while he crouched down next to his nephew, wearing a silver crown as he arranged the toys. For a moment, Hanhae looked around before focusing on his uncle again. “This is a parents day,” he innocently commented, making Sehun hum absentmindedly in response again, “but you’re not my dad.”
This phrase caught Sehun’s attention in an instant. He looked up from his arranging, a small frown curling his eyebrows when he met with his smiling nephew. “I’m old enough now, Uncle Hun. You can tell me why you’re here and not my dad.”
The sentence stung in the blond’s chest but when he saw the innocence that was his nephew, his heart softened. It still made him angry that a young child like this had already gone through something so heartbreaking. “I know you are,” Sehun smiled and lifted his hand to Hanhae’s dark hair lovingly. “But let’s stop thinking about such things and just play, huh?” he added and pulled the boy between his legs, smiling softly when Hanhae seemingly shrugged off the conversation and began interacting with the toy soldiers.
Sehun’s smile faltered as he again pat Hanhae’s head, his heart clenching at the thought of him and his miserable life.
It was a standard – you grow up with a father and a mother. Those two have a father and a mother as well and are called your grandmother and grandfather. And so the lineage continues until the beginning of time.
Sehun knew that his family wasn’t like the ones that lived in the rustique suburbs or could be compared to the American dream families. His grandparents from his father’s side died at a young age and as for his mother’s parents, for all he knew they didn’t want to have anything to do with them because their daughter had defied them by marrying his father: a scumbag with no ounce of love or empathy left in his body, no trace of it even when his parents were still alive.
The boy was aware of the man’s lacking emotional strength but as any other son in the world, the boy protected his beloved father from any negative comment that was thrown his way, even when his father called him names – a failure, a disgrace to the family for reasons that were unknown to the boy because he excelled in school and did extracurricular activities. He was a good son but Sehun swallowed it all and provided for the family of two when his father had disappeared without a trace again.
But one fine spring day, when the head of the family had been back for almost a full month, Oh Sehun’s world came crashing down when he returned home after a long school day, only to find it empty, safe from the lone note on the wooden floor of the living room.
I’m sorry
It had been the last words Sehun, his mother and sister had heard from the man.
It was yet another mysterious case of disappearance of his father but this time the boy knew he wouldn’t come back. His mother had coped fairly well with the sudden absence of her husband because ‘she had seen it coming ever since the first time he left’.
His older sister Sera, however, took the blow a little harder than the rest of the Oh family. Her father had been her most important person and for the eighteen year old girl to lose her father like that was like a bomb that had exploded and damaged everything in and around her. The fifteen year old Sehun was left confused but mostly, hurt.
The result of the man’s disappearance was devastating.
Nothing seemed interesting anymore, there was no spark that challenged Sehun, thus school began to become the place he despised the most. It had turned into a place that stood for detention and useless homework that would lead him nowhere in life.
With his sister’s health deteriorating – even though she had a loving and caring boyfriend – two years flashed by like it was nothing and Sehun’s mother was worried for her son’s future. His grades had gone down drastically, and rather than getting himself into trouble by acting like a mischievous teen, Sehun retorted in becoming careless in everything he did. He did no longer care about his average, he did no longer care about how his so-called friends saw him, he no longer verbally fought with classmates that made fun of his father – he had become the silence that surrounded him whenever he was in his room; still and unwavering.
It was when he reached the fresh age of seventeen that a little spark of hope lit up in the Oh family. Nineteen year old Sera had carried a life for nine months and in June, gave birth to a beautiful summer baby boy. It was love at first sight for Sehun. He had become uncle at a young age but that didn’t stop him from spoiling the little boy and showering him with the love he deserved – and Sehun never had.
The silent Oh Sehun had slowly come to feel again.
Suhyun, Sehun’s mother, began to live up again and to the outside world it seemed like the Ohs had become a normally functioning family again. But whatever hid in the shadows of one’s mind still remained a mystery to each member in the family.
Sehun had begun at the lone college that had accepted him, despite his diploma containing meager grades. But when he entered second year, something had settled in his subconscious, whispering that this wasn’t the place for him. He couldn’t care less about what course he followed or who were in his classes – he was there to get in, get a slip that could get him a job, and get out.
The new year had begun, with Sehun finally taking the leap and visiting his sister because she was the only one he could talk to when school became too much. He figured that she could help him set his mind straight on whether he should continue or drop out.
Carefully knocking on the wooden door, Sehun sighed as he practiced his lines in his head. He had to come prepared, to in a way convince Sera to agree with him quitting college because that seemed like the best thing to do in his eyes. When after a minute still no one had opened the front door, the boy knocked again, this time a frown settled between his eyebrows. “She knew I was coming,” he muttered to himself and reached for the doorknob to check if the door was open and to his surprise, it was.
Keeping his possibly sleeping nephew in mind, Sehun slowly opened the door and stepped inside the warm apartment. What hit him the moment he had closed the door, however, was a headache. It started at his nose and gradually worked its way up to his forehead until it had settled in between his lobes and began pounding its way through his skull. Again, the blond frowned because he didn’t spot his sister anywhere inside the room. “Sera?” he called and began walking around, checking every room with the headache still working its way to the back of his head.
Soon he arrived at his sister’s bedroom door. Listening for any sign of life, he knocked on the door and opened it, an amused grin settling on his lips when he spotted the long dark hair of his sister spread out on her pillows. Quietly, he made his way over to the bed but just when he was about to jump on top of her, a sheet of paper on her nightstand caught his eye. He picked it up, and the moment he read the first sentence of the hastily scribbled handwritten note, his smile disappeared together with his eyes that first were happy crescents, widening.
He hadn’t noticed the note slipping through his fingers; all he saw was his twenty-two year old sister laying peacefully on her bed.
Another wave of dizziness hit him, snapping him out of his shock because everything began to click as the cogs in his intoxicated brain began to turn.
“Sera,” his shaky voice came rumbling from his throat as he stumbled forward and began shaking his sister’s shoulders. “Sera, wake up!” he called again, his voice steadier and louder than before. His breathing fastened together with the beating of his heart when she didn’t respond to his calls, when the pounding in his head slowly began to morph into a feeling of exhaustion.
Not thinking twice, Sehun struggled to keep his balance as he attempted to run out of Sera’s bedroom through the hallway into the kitchen. There his assumptions were confirmed, and faster than before, Sehun fell to his knees and began, with shaky yet frantic fingers, turning all the gas pits until they were all off. The deafeningly hissing sound disappeared and the nausea that had settled in Sehun’s stomach lightened the slightest when he put the lower part of his face into his shirt, protecting his nose and mouth from the gas-filled air around him.
He struggled to stand up from the floor, his legs feeling like jelly when he finally stood upright against the wall. His eyes widened when he spotted the drying rack next to the sink, containing multiple mugs and plates with teddy bears on them.
“Hanhae,” he gasped and instantly felt himself become drowsy because of his action but still managed to quickly slip into the hallway again and trudge to his nephew’s room. Throwing open all windows in the room, Sehun took a deep breath of fresh frostbiting winter air that nearly froze his lungs where he stood before he turned to Hanhae’s bed. Quickly, he picked the three year old boy’s limp body up and walked to the opened window, lightly patting Hanhae’s cheeks to wake him.
“H-Hanhae, please wake up,” he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “Uncle Hun needs you t-to wake up, Han,” he spoke up louder and opened the boy’s mouth to try and let the toxic fumes exit his body, making place for fresh air. Remembering his sister, Sehun, a lot less drowsy, shot into the room opposite from Hanhae’s, and opened Sera’s windows before quickly walking to her bed. With Hanhae still on his arm, still lifeless, he began opening and waving fresher air into her direction.
“Sera!” Sehun yelled and hit her cheeks and tried talking to her but no response. Just when he wanted to apply CPR, the woman began coughing wildly, scaring Sehun but soon it was relief that took over. Carefully, he placed his nephew in a chair, grabbed his phone and dialed the number of the emergency room. “Sera talk to me!” he begged and pat her cheeks again, when the line clicked and a female dispatcher answered.
“I need an ambulance!” Sehun frantically yelled into the receiver whilst still trying to wake his sister. He managed to tell the woman his sister’s address in between his efforts and hung up when she told him an ambulance was on the way.
“Sera! Please talk to me!” Sehun tried again when her eyes fluttered open and her eyes rolled back into her skull, as if searching for a solid point. “Why… I’m-” she muttered, and tiredly began patting her hands around. Sehun helped her sit up but suddenly Sera struggled against his touch.
“Why are… you… here,” she managed to breathe out before her head lulled to the side and she had to steady herself to stay upright. “Sera what the were you planning!” Sehun exploded and moved to help her but again she rejected his touch and moved away from the bed, nearly falling off from the other side. “Why couldn’t you let us sleep!” she suddenly screamed, her voice cracking as tears began building in her eyes and she looked at her younger brother.
Sehun glanced at Hanhae to check on him, and thankfully the boy began moving tiredly but not enough to show that he truly was okay. “Why Sehun!” Sera screamed again as she stumbled off the bed and backed against the wall.
“What are you talking about,” Sehun desperately asked and took a step closer to the heavily shaking girl. Sera was a lot more awake now but her movement were still slow, as she pressed herself against the wall.
“Why did you do this," she cried, her voice trembling uncontrollably. Sehun moved quickly when he saw her legs giving out and just in time caught her before she hit the floor. “Sera,” he said softly and held the tired girl his arms. She struggled at first, and Sehun had a hard time containing her but it didn’t take long before the girl was left exhausted and her hands found his shirt, her fingers immediately burying into the soft material as she grasped onto him.
“Why did he leave us,” she cried into Sehun’s arms and tightened her grip. “Why did he go, Sehun!”
The younger boy felt tears of his own build and before he knew it, tears were running down his cheeks. “Why,” she whispered and slowly her eyes fluttered closed, the tears still running but her grip loosening on his shirt.
The familiar sound of silence surrounded Sehun again, only his unsteady breathing finding its way into the air. His shoulders shook as he tightened his arms around his sister and placed his forehead against hers. “I don’t know,” he whispered as he closed his eyes, tears never ceasing as he thought of his father.
The piercing sound of sirens broke through the building’s walls together with frantic steps that could be heard outside the apartment, followed by loud voices that called for Sehun’s name. The police had set off the road; the firefighters had knocked down the door; the medical team took his sister and nephew away to the hospital.
Oh Sera was manic-depressive and suicidal.
Jung Hanhae was hospitalized for a week because of severe intoxication.
Oh Sehun never felt the blood run down his cheek.
Oh Sera never meant her father.
Oh Sera disappeared the day after the incident.
The soft whine of her front door caught her attention just when she stood up from the couch to go to the kitchen. Hana spotted the blond enter her apartment, a small being resting in his arms. With a subtle smile the woman walked over to him and reached out to Hanhae’s head before looking up at Sehun. She didn’t need to say anything for him to answer.
“I took him out after school,” he said softly as he looked down at his nephew sleeping in his arms. Hana smiled, still his head. “Poor kid must be exhausted.”
Sehun mirrored her expression but otherwise didn’t respond. “Put him in my bed, he can rest there,” the female bartender suggested when she retracted her hand. She had noticed that Sehun was exhausted as well, but like that morning, she decided not to say anything about it. The male still had his eyes on Hanhae but nodded and pressed a kiss against Hana’s forehead before he walked through the living room to her bedroom. As he did, Hana continued to the kitchen where she put her used cup in the sink and the coffee machine.
Her finger lingered over the buttons as her thoughts took over. Hana would be lying if she said she wasn’t worried about Sehun. But could she really do anything? Sighing, she let the machine do its work and walked to her bedroom. Once there, she silently watched Sehun carefully relieve Hanhae from his jacket and slipped off his hat and shoes before gently placing him under the warm sheets. He then sat on the edge of the bed and the younger’s dark hair as he watched the boy stir a little in his sleep before easing into the bed. A small smile tugged at Sehun’s lips at the sight of his nephew; he leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead before he stood up and silently walked over to where Hana was standing.
She stepped back and allowed him to close the door, then followed the man’s movements as he dropped himself onto the couch with a sigh and ed his own jacket. He looked even more tired in his current position so Hana was happy she had taken the needed precautions. So shuffling into the kitchen, she got the cup of fresh, steaming coffee and carefully walked back to the living room where she handed it to Sehun. He thankfully took it and blew over the surface before taking a small sip.
Feeling satisfied, Hana took a seat next to him and faced the blond as she pulled her legs up. Sehun set his cup on the low coffee table and took off his jacket, silence surrounding the two. After he threw it over the back off the couch, he pulled Hana’s legs onto his lap and her calves silently before he glanced at her. When she caught the emotion that reigned in his eyes, she opened her arms for Sehun. The bartender didn’t hesitate as he moved into them so they both were half lying, half sitting in the corner of the couch.
Hana pulled him to her chest and soothingly combed her finger through his hair. He sighed into her touch and nuzzled into her as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Rough day?” she asked after a moment of silence and tried to look at Sehun but he still kept his gaze averted.
For the smallest moment, Sehun thought of answering with ‘rough life’ but how could he possibly explain why? Hana didn’t know of these internal struggles and rationally, he preferred it that way. All his life he has been feeling like everything had been rough and now it seemed like a new feeling had appeared in his subconscious – the urge to take care of his four year old nephew, who had no father nor a mother.
So would it be fair for Sehun to respond like that, or would a simpler answer suffice. Sehun chose the latter.
“Yeah.”
AN; [5.11.14] hello everyone! finally after three months, im officially back on track! college has started and ive made a fairly good start as in i know what is expected of me now - last week i had three exams and i think i failed all of them so thats something i have to work on hehe. regarding this, WOW i was literally planning yesterday to update today when i saw a comment of someone that thought that sehuns nephew had something to do with his behavioral change! well, judging from this chapter i guess you were right! you all were waiting for the sehun and hana interaction but this was more of a look into sehuns life and how everything was before blackjack. i regret not clarifying this in aparment 23 in the first place but i didnt feel that it was necessary back then. nonetheless, i hope this acts as some device to understand where sehun comes from and why he is the way he is now! i hope to see you in the comments and if you think this deserves an upvote, its greatly appreciated!
im not even sure if people read this but if you do, then thumbs up and maybe drop a message?
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