ii. BaekYeol/ChanBaek: Mistake

My first mistake was falling in love with you.

I loved them…your two beautiful eyes, so petite yet I saw my world in them. I didn’t like how you tried to conceal their prettiness by dabbing on eyeliner, but then again, you looked good in everything so I couldn’t really argue.

And your luscious pink lips. Oh, how they used to taunt me. I wanted to touch those soft lips with my own rough ones but I had to refrain. I didn’t want you to hate me.

You were so cute, always in your own little world. I’m very happy you let me in. I’m very happy that I could stay beside you as a friend.

But I had to become greedy.

I loved you; no wait, I still do. I will always love you, even though you may hate me now.

My second mistake was confessing.

I still don’t know why I did it. Maybe I had had enough. I couldn’t keep in my feelings. They were consuming me, eating me up from the inside and I felt that they would bore a hole too big in my heart if I didn’t let them out.

I’m sorry. I ruined everything, didn’t I?

But if you ask me now, if I ever regretted that decision, my answer might surprise you.

My third mistake was kissing you.

An overflowing urge, I felt. It was on impulse, my move. As if the confession wasn’t enough, I had to go along and burden those tiny little shoulders of yours with more weight than they could possibly carry.

For one minute, I felt as if heaven was on earth. For one minute, all my troubles, doubts, confusion, regrets…everything vanished.

Only to return a minute later, heavier than ever.

My fourth mistake…was probably the first one I ever made.

I should’ve left you alone, the first day I saw you at the library. I shouldn’t have walked up to you.  I shouldn’t have even tried to strike up a conversation with you.

I shouldn’t have promised you a friendship I couldn’t deliver.

I hate myself, for making you cry.

But you’re happy now, aren’t you? Kai’s a good person. He’ll forever keep you happy.

Way more than I ever could.

Way more than I ever did.

What ze actual is this .

*sighs*