Ryeowook was awake when he felt out of breath, he realized few seconds later that his nose was buried on Jongwoon’s chest. Then he placed his body on his right side to look at Jongwoon’s face carefully. His fingers embraced the face in front of him, trailing the nose, cheeks and the lips. Then a tear started to fall, followed by the second and the rest. He cried in silence. He really did. He felt a twinge in his heart, afraid to let the moment between him and Jongwoon disappear. He left a room to take something, returned and sit on the floor next to the bed. He watched all the moves Jongwoon made but his tears didn’t stop even he knew that the view in front of him was the one he craved after years passed. He remained silence for the next minutes…

The sun lights entered through the curtain which didn’t fully covered the window and fell straight to Jongwoon’s face. He yawned and stretched his body, realized that Ryeowook wasn’t in his arms anymore. Then he heard someone crying. He woke up, still had the blanket to cover his lower body, try to look on the side of the bed. He found Ryeowook, crying while his hands held a photo frame but he couldn’t see whose photo in it. He got closer to Ryeowook and suddenly brushed the dark brown hair softly.

“I love you, Jongwoon. I love you since the first time I saw you”, Ryeowook said in the middle of his cry.

“I know.. I love you too, Ryeowook-ah. Until I can’t say it in words but I do love you”, I replied him, still my hands tried to comforting him.

“But why you never ask me, when exactly I have this feeling for you? Why you never curious about me while you shared many things about your life to me?”, he said, still hugging the photo.

“Didn’t it start on the day I hit you? I saw you blushed that day. Am I wrong?”. I sighed. “Wait!!! Did you regret what we did last night? Or did I hurt you too much?”, I became so worry right now.

“nooooooo, Jongwoon! I never regret for what happen between us so far. And the fact is, if last night didn’t happen, I would love to throw myself into your arms willingly, just to be a part of you”, Ryeowook added with a higher tone.

“I saw you for the first time.. 8 years ago.. When you were at the church… right before…. Right before your mom and dad…. were buried..” Ryeowook explain softly and his voice seemed worry.

For few seconds there was only silence between the lovers. No one talked or made some moves.

“When I saw you cried, I don’t know why but I really wanna hug you tightly. Lean my shoulder for you to cry but I can’t make any movements. Anger was living inside of me, Jongwoon”.

“Whaaaaat? Why? Why were you angry that day? Why? Why? Explain to me everything, Ryeowook!”, I yelled while looking for my shirt and jeans. I was in the middle of placing all my clothes on when Ryeowook turned the photo frame towards me. I was shock.

There was a beautiful woman with wide eyes in that frame. She smiled innocently and it made me remember straightly to Ryeowook. I remained silence, watching Ryeowook sobbed. I really wanna hug him and pull him into my arms but so many questions were staying inside of me.

“What exactly he wants to talk about?”, the question that lingered in my brain.

“She was my mom. She was in a hospital the day your parents were buried. She had frozen blood inside her brain. She suffered in coma and died after a month your parents buried”, his cried a bit louder and Jongwoon stunned. He was completely shocking just from the eyes and lips shown.

“She was in a hurry to see me across the street. I called her when she crossed the street, that’s why she stopped in the middle when she saw me. She smiled and your parents’ car hit her…. Right in front of me”, he continued without looking at Jongwoon’s eyes.

“so… are you saying that it was my parents’ mistake? You’re trying to blame on them?” I started to feel anger fired up inside me.

“LISTEN, RYEOWOOK! It was me, inside the car who always tried to show off my trophy and I disturbed dad’s attention just to have his eyes on me. Even Jongjin knew about this! If you said you have a good relationship with him, didn’t he tell you? Does the change of his behavior to me because he knew this from you? Are you trying to make my own brother against me? Blaming on me?”, I yelled. I saw Ryeowook cried harder in silence. His shoulder was moving up and down while he buried his face on his knees with his arms hugged his legs.

He looked at me…

“It’s not like that, Jongwoon. Its just, when I see you, I saw my mom. I feel so guilty for growing some feelings to you when I know that you and your families were the reason she’s dead. I’m trying to bury the guilt inside me but it grows stronger especially after we already become one last night”, he said in sobbing.

“So it’s true! You regret what happened to us last night. I already told you to stop it right? But you were the one who insisted. Why you did that? Are you trying to put all the blames on me? God, Ryeowook! I should never come here. I regret I hit you that day. I regret I fell for your innocent smiles, your laughs, the way you care.. They’re all fakes! Even you said you were proud of me when I had a fight with Jongjin right at the back of my café. You’re full of lies! I hate you, Ryeowook! I hate you!”, I said, while grabbing my bag and coat.

“No… no… it’s not like that, Jongwoon. I didn’t mean anything. Please… please let me explain…”, he stood up, trying to stop me when I tried to put my coat on.

“Stay away! Don’t touch me! Don’t you ever touch me! Don’t you ever try to come and buy something again! I don’t wanna see you!”, I kept yelling and pushed away his hands.

“Jongwoon, please listen to me.. You’re taking it in a wrong way…” he said again while still trying to stop me out of the bedroom. “Jongwoon, please… I love you, Jongwoon. Please… let me explain…”.

I pushed Ryeowook aside and he fell on the floor, his shirt was wet with sweat and tears. I stopped for seconds, looking at him. “Please leave me alone, Ryeowook! I’m breaking up with you!” I said, holding my tears and walked him alone on the floor then I made my way to open the