"I'm going to leave Exo and move back to China."

I squeezed my eyes shut and told myself to not move. Luhan can't leave me. He can't be that selfish by leaving the whole group right? No. He still loves me and we still have to make up and get back together after he makes me trust him again. He can't give up yet. He can't leave. But I guess happy endings don't exist at all. There's no point in holding on to that last bit of hope that Luhan will try to get me back. He's my everything and I don't know what to do without him. Even though he's not mine, I still love him and he's my everything. I know that him and I have hurt each other a lot but don't we at least deserve another chance? No. Sehun don't think about it. He might just be bluffing. Yes he's just pretending. I calmed down my heart which was beating so fast, not wanting to believe that Luhan is actually going to leave. The company wouldn't let him leave, so he can't leave. As my heartbeat calmed down a little, I felt Luhan kiss my forehead and then he pulled away. 

"Goodbye Sehun." he said before leaving the room. When I heard to door close, I sat up on my bed and touched my forehead. I could feel the tears but I didn't want to believe it. Luhan's not going to leave because the company won't let him so he won't be able to leave. I nodded and got my things then went to have a shower. After the shower, I got changed and got Suho hyung to take me to SM where I know Jongin will be. We both just sat in the car in silence, not saying anything as 'Baby don't cry' played on the stereo. That song isn't really helping my mood at all. It's making me feel even more depressed because of what's happened. I sighed and continued to look out the window. Joonmyeon hyung parked the car in the car park and I got out quickly and rushed in the building looking for Jongin. It didn't take long for me to find him. He was in the dance studio dancing to some of our songs but stopped when he saw me in the doorway. He just stared at me and opened his arms because I know that he knows something's bothering me. I walked in his arms and he just rubbed circles on my back. 

"What's wrong Sehunnie?" he asked.

"Luhan hyung's leaving." I replied and he froze. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes and he looked worried. Then, I realised that Jongin might seem like he hates Luhan but deep down I know he cares. 

"What do you mean Luhan's leaving?" he asked, voice trembling. 

"I was in my room sleeping but I woke up when I felt my bed dip from the weight of another person. Not in the mood to talk, I pretended to be asleep. Luhan hyung said that he regrets cheating on me and that he's happy for us. Then he told me that he's going to leave Exo and move back to China because it will be good for the both of us." I told him and I could feel the tears start again. Jongin looked shocked and he just shook his head and hugged me again. 

"He can't be serious. The company, our manager and the members won't let him. Luhan can't leave Exo, he just can't. That's such a selfish move. Did he even think about how you'll feel and how the other members will feel when they find out that he'll leave?" Jongin ranted. 

"It won't be the same without him." Jongin muttered in the end. I'm sure I wasn't meant to hear it but he does care. Even though he wants to kill Luhan hyung for what he did to me, Jongin still cares about him. I don't blame him. Luhan hyung is a nice guy when he's not being such a jerk. 

"What if he really leaves?" I asked and Jongin just shook his head.

"He won't leave." Jongin said and kept shaking his head. I just nodded because that's what I kept telling myself and joined Jongin in dance practice. We just danced for who knows how long, without even taking a break. I just need this to let everything out. If Luhan hyung really leaves, then I don't know what I'll do. I'll miss him so he doesn't have to do this. I would apologise to him but it's not my fault that we're like this. I can't trust him and I can't forgive that easily even though I want to. If he thinks he's hurting right now, he doesn't know how much pain I've been through because of him. He doesn't know how much I cried myself to sleep after I remembered everything, he doesn't know that my heart still aches for him even though he's put me through so much. But I just can't. It's his decision to leave and when he makes up his mind, I don't think anyone can change it. Seeing the one you love with someone else, hurts right? I sighed and stop dancing. I put my hands on my knees and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I have bags under my eyes, my eyes are red and puffy from crying and my hair's a mess. How can someone love me when I'm a mess? I shook my head and Jongin put his hand on my shoulder. 

"Go and take a rest before you collapse. I'll go get us some water." he said and I just nodded. I walked over to the couch and sat down. I watched as Jongin left the room and put my my head on my hands. I've messed up. I feel bad but I have to do what I have to do. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't hear someone coming into the room and sitting next to me. 

"I'm guessing you already know?" Minseok asked and I looked at him. 

"You already know?" I asked him and he nodded. 

"Ever since he made the decision." he replied and sighed. He ruffled his hair and glared at the wall. "Look Sehun, you don't know how sorry we are. Luhan and I have regretted what we did and the guilt is eating us alive. I've already moved on from Luhan but sadly he hasn't move on from you. He still loves you and the members can't even have a proper conversation with him without feeling awkward. As the eldest, I'm responsible for this. If it wasn't for me, you and Luhan would still be happy together." 

"What am I meant to do? I'm hurting just as much as he is, if not, more. Don't try to put the blame of him hurting, on me. It's not my fault." I said quietly.

"I'm not trying to put all the blame on you or make you feel guilty. Luhan has become one of my closest friends and I want him to be happy and only you can make him happy. He's not going to be here next week." he told me.

"So he's actually leaving?" 

"Yes. He got permission but he can still stay in SM if he decides to not go on that plane. The news will break out that he's left Exo when he gets on the plane. No one knows apart from me, you and I'm guessing Jongin knows now." he said. So Luhan's actually leaving. I thought he was just joking but I guess he was actually serious. 

"When will he leave? Will he tell the members?" 

"He's leaving two days from now and no he won't tell the members. They already hate him, especially Suho. Suho despises Luhan so much that he's barely spoke to him. Luhan just hopes that they'll accept his decision. I want him to stay. I've told him that but he said that he has no-one so there's no point in staying anymore. He said that his dream ruined his happiness." Xiumin said and I just looked down on the floor. I don't know what to do. Should I apologise and make him stay or ignore it. I sighed and looked at Xiumin.

"Even though he'll miss all of us, he'll miss you the most and he says sorry because this is goodbye."

"Why are you speaking like we'll never see him again?"

"Because we won't. After he leaves, he's never coming back."