Kai's POV

It's been a week since Sehun remembered about him and Luhan and he's been avoiding Luhan and Xiumin like they're some kind of disease. He only talks to me and Chanyeol hyung and he rarely talks to the other members. I hate Luhan and Xiumin for what they've done to Sehun. They've broken him. He's become quieter ever since that day and he messes up most of the dance choreography. He might have this poker face on, but I've known him long enough to know how he really feels inside. I care so much for Sehun that I would be willing to do anything for him like not beating the life out of Luhan since it's entirely his fault. It hurts to know that Sehun still cares for Luhan after everything he's done to him. It breaks my heart knowing that Sehun is still pretty much in love with him. But what can I do? I'm just his best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. That's the sad reality for me. One sided love but like I said, I'd do anything for Sehun. I'm there for him when he needs me the most and I won't leave him. 

I closed my eyes and looked at the sky. It's midnight but I can't sleep so here I am, sitting at the top of the slide thinking about my life and worrying about my best friend. There's barely any people here so I'm safe. I pulled my knees closer to my chest and leant my head on my knees. The members were already in their shared rooms when I left and I know that Sehun's asleep because when I left, he was still sleeping. Sometimes I wonder why it can't be me instead? Why can't I be the one he could love instead of that stupid idiotic deer? Only one person knows how I feel. A certain maknae of SHINee. At first he teased me about it but then he realised that I was being serious so he told me to confess but I just can't. I can't ruin my friendship with Sehun because of my feelings. Plus I know that my love is one sided so it's better that I keep it to myself. 

"Kai?" someone said from beside me and I froze. What if it's a sasaeng? Why didn't I hear them coming? Damn, I'm dead. I was about to jump off the slide and run until I heard the person calling my name again. But this time, I recognised the voice. I would recognise the voice anywhere. I looked up and saw Sehun sitting beside me in a black t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms. I gave him a small smile and he just looked up at the sky. 

"What's wrong Sehunnie? Why are you out this late? And why aren't you wearing a jacket? It's cold. Plus I thought you were asleep." I asked him.

"Relax hyung.  I just wanted to get some fresh air because I felt like I was going to suffocate if I stayed at the dorm longer." he explained and I just nodded. "How about you hyung? Why are you out this late?"

"Can't sleep." was all I said before looking back up at the sky. 

"Hyung I'm cold." he said and I looked at him before opening my arms. He hugged me and rest his head on my shoulder while I put my arm around his waist. I kissed the top of his head and rest my head on top of his. We stayed like that, not talking to each other while I hummed 'Don't go'. 

"Hyung." he said and I just hummed in reply to let him know that I'm listening. "Shall I just forgive them? They look like they truly regret it and I'm not sure if I should forgive them or not. Hannie hyung has apologised and cried a lot that I feel bad for avoiding him. Maybe, him and I could give it another try as long as he promises to never cheat on me again. Everyone makes mistakes and he's the only person I love and will always love. Lulu and I seemed so happy in the past so maybe we could be happy again." I could feel my heart breaking at what he said. Luhan is the person that he'll always love and no-one else. It hurts but it's the reality. I could feel my eyes watering but I held back my tears. I've done this so many times that I guess I'm a pro at holding back my feelings along with my tears. I gave him a weak chuckle before replying. 

"It's been a while since I heard you call him Hannie or Lulu. I bet he'll be happy when he hears that from you. But whether you choose to forgive them or not, it's your decision. But whatever you choose, I'll respect your decision. If you think you can be happy with him if you go back to him, then go ahead, I'm not going to stop you. If you're happy then I am." I told him and closed my eyes. 

"Really hyung?" he asked and he sounds happier. I guess he really does love Luhan. I sighed before opening my eyes again and looked at him only to notice his beautiful eyes looking back at me. I nodded and he smiled a real smile in weeks. 

"But promise me something." I said and he nodded his head straight away without hesitation. "If he ever hurt you again, don't stop me from beating him up." 

"Hyung, I don't think I can promise you that. Luhan hyung is too precious to me that I can't let anyone hurt him even though he's hurt me." he replied with a frown on his face and he buried his face in my shoulder. Your love for him is really that strong? I'm nothing compared to Luhan then. If only you would see me Sehun. I've been there for you from the very beginning but even though your memories for him disappeared once, I guess the love you felt for him won't disappear at all. I thought and I couldn't stop the tears from falling because it just hurts. 

"Okay, then I'll change it." I said, my voice cracking. He hummed in reply and I could feel him smile. I wiped the tears from my face and cleared my throat. "Never cry for him again. Whenever I see the tears in your face because of him, I have the urge to beat him up." Because it hurts so much seeing you cry. He looked at me with a smile. 

"I can't promise you hyung, but I'll try. Thank you for accepting my decision. You're the best friend ever!" he said, happiness evident in his voice. He kissed my cheek before letting go of me and standing up. "Let's go home hyung, it's getting late." 

"I'll come home in a bit. You go ahead first." I told him making sure my voice wouldn't crack and looked up at the sky so he wouldn't see my tear stained face. I didn't see his answer but I heard him get down from the slide and walking away. I looked at his retreating back and closed my eyes. I don't know why I'd been holding on to these feelings but I guess it's finally time to let go.