SO EUL'S POV

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

            I sat down at the grass and stared into the field. It was already dark and all the lights were turned off. I got exhausted from roaming the city, and when I passed by this place (I don’t know where), I stopped and rested.

            It was plain grass in this place, with only a convenience store opposite it, and then it stretched far away. It was like a mini forest.

            I lay on my back and looked at the stars. With all my problems arising, can I go through this? I mean, I don’t like the engagement, but it’s for Yoon Na’s sake. However, Suho found out about me, now he’ll be using me to increase his stocks.

            Years ago, it happened to me. I was blackmailed by a man, and then when I agreed I was forced to do something. I was saved, but my savior betrayed me. It started my miserable life.

            I nearly drifted off to sleep when I suddenly heard a sigh from behind me.

            I sat up and turned around and my mood became annoyed.

            “You,” I said. “Why are you here?”

            Kai went to me and sat down beside me. He looked at the sky filled with stars. “That’s right, why am I here?” he said. From here, Kai looked gentle and thoughtful.

            I felt annoyed at myself. I keep telling myself not to trust him, not to relax when he’s here, but when he’s here, it all crumbles down. My wall keeps on softening.

            He reached into one of his pockets and took out a can of iced coffee. He handed it to me. “Here, drink this.”

            I hesitantly took the coffee and opened it. I sipped it. “Thanks…” I mumbled. I can feel exhaustion taking over my body. My eyes are getting heavy; probably because of crying.

            I looked at Kai and gasped. His face was inches near me. “You’re vulnerable right now, aren’t you? Look at those red eyes.”

            I can feel myself being flustered. Aish why am like this, really!

            “Right now,” I said. “I’m pathetic, huh?”

            I don’t know why I said those words, but with Kai here, the only thing that came to me was that I can say anything. He might understand me. I know, I’m not myself, but for a night like this, can I let my heart decide? Can I open up to him?

            “Nope,” he said gently. “You’re not pathetic to me.”

            Somehow, those words lightened my heart. “I see…” those were the only words I can muster. If I went on any further, tears might flow. I don’t know why I am so emotional today.

            “You…” he started. “You didn’t like hearing what hyung said, right? I understand the part that you don’t like being used, but when I saw your expression when hyung said those words, you were trembling. You looked like you were shaking.”

            Bingo.

            Was it that obvious?

            “Perhaps,” Kai said. “You…had a trauma? A bad experience?”

            My eyes widened at what he said. Was I really shaking? I didn’t know that.

            “What are you talking about?” I asked, trying to make my tone cool. “Me? Trauma? No wa-”

            “Don’t lie to me.”

            I sighed and looked away.

            “I know,” he said. His voice was calm. “I have something like that too.”

            I looked at him, confused. What?

            “You heard me right,” he said firmly. “When I was young, something gave a scar on my heart. Since the scar scratched me, I became a playboy.”

            I didn’t respond. Why is he telling me all this?

            “But hey,” he suddenly said. “Why am I telling you this?”

            I faked a scoff. “Yeah,” I said. “Why? Aren’t you the top mysterious playboy Kai? What are you doing, telling me about your past? You aren’t yourself.”

            He isn’t himself, but there is this strange gut feeling telling me that I wanted to see this side of him.

            “You too.” he said, making me surprised. “Then let me be more unlike myself and ask a question. Why do I like being like this when I’m with you?”

            WHAT?

            Kai must’ve woken up from what he said; his eyes widened. He laughed and ruffled his hair. “Aish, why am I like this? Saying this in front of you?” he chuckled and looked away.

            This is the first time I’ll see him laugh in a carefree way. It was a real one.

            I know a real laugh when I see one.

            And this isn’t Kai, its Kim Jong In.

            “Hey, So Eul,” he called me.

            “Hmm?”

            And all of a sudden, Kai’s hands caressed my cheek, my eyes widened as I felt my cheeks hot, and my hands were unable to move.

            It seems like I just let my guard down.

            “See?” he suddenly said, taking his hand away. Oh, it became colder when his hand left my cheek. Won’t he put it back?

            Okay, enough with those thoughts; put your wall up.

            “You aren’t yourself. You won’t even flinch back then.” He stated. “I can tell it’s a trauma. I may not know you that long, but I know, you can shut hyung up in just a blink of an eye. But when he said that it will be a ‘benefit’, you started shaking.”

            I glared at him. Kai sees too much. He doesn’t need to know more than the fact that I am Victoria. “Stop there, you already know enough.” I said in a serious tone.

            Kai sighed and looked away. “There, it’s more like you.” He smiled and stared at the grass. “Hyung said he won’t reveal anything.”

            My eyes widened and looked at him. “Really?”

            He smiled at me and nodded. “He didn’t mean to threaten you; he just wanted to let us know of the risks and possibilities. He’d keep it a secret, don’t worry. He promised me.”

            Relief rushed all over me, and my body went closer to Kai and hugged him. “Thank you!” I said, hugging him harder.

            Wait. Hugging?

            Both of us awkwardly broke away. I can feel my cheeks heat up. I cleared my throat. “So, uh..” I started.

            “We should go.” Both of us said at the same time.

            We both laughed at the awkwardness.

            Whoa stop, I don’t laugh.

            I stood up and brushed my dress. “So, I’m going to go. Thank you again.”

            Kai also stood up and laughed. “You know, you’re really pretty when you laugh.”

            I glared at him. “Stop flirting.”

            Kai laughed and went to his car. He waved me goodbye and drove off.

            When I was sure he was far from here, I secretly smiled at his compliment.

            Maybe, just maybe, he can be trusted?

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