Waltz of Sorrow

That night, she couldn’t fall asleep. She was too worried. She had to take some responsibility for what happened to her teacher. She was 100% sure it was her fault, even if it was indirectly. She called Joon Myeon and asked him what happened. She told him she knew about teacher Wu and she expressed her guilt. Joon Myeon had one quick and objective answer.

It wasn’t your fault.

She doubted her friend. She doubted herself. Their discussion ended quickly. The only person she could extract answers from was Siwon.

“Where have you been until now?” She had her back turned to him. He didn’t knock and entered swiftly into her room.

“Around” She felt her left eyebrow twitch in annoyance. He was covering for someone. He was hiding precious information from her.

“Around Gangnam?” Siwon sighed and sat on the nearest chair. There was quite a distance between them. Usually, he would sit on the bed; next to her. But not then.

“Maybe” She turned around in order to face him clearly and see if he was going to lie or speak the truth.

“Did you kill teacher Wu?” She decided to go straight for the answer she was looking for. Siwon acted nonchalantly. “Did you or did you not kill my English teacher?” The bodyguard sighed and shook his head. He was busy the whole day but it wasn’t necessarily about her.

“I’ve been busy today but-“

“You’ve been busy a lot lately. Aren’t you my bodyguard? Shouldn’t you take care of me and brother?” She was exaggerating. The simple thought of having to share Siwon was aggravating. She didn’t want that. Maybe she was a spoiled little girl but Siwon was her toy and she wasn’t willing to share her perfect toy with someone else; not even her father.   

“I have a personal life too” She could feel her blood boil under the façade of ignorance. She couldn’t keep a blank face for longer. Her feelings exploded. She started to cry and throw things at him.

“Do you know even half of the things I’m going through? Can you imagine how hard it is to act like my life is a pack of joy? I take care of everything involving my familial background. I don’t want people to know how my life is. If reality is harsh, then how is my reality?!”

Siwon understood her. He knew how hard was to have a family who was entangled into a spider’s web. In that case, her father’s web. He had such high expectations for his children but he wasn’t helping them with anything. He wanted them to grow into a cold environment. He was subtly training them emotionally and even practically. Both Min Jun and Mi Rae were going to self improvement classes. For example, they had to protect themselves so their father hired a few people to teach them different styles of fighting; they had to be able to live with a lot less than they had so their father sent them camping in the mountains by themselves; they had to know how to kill and sneak around so their father personally trained them for that. Her life was definitely not normal but she had to resist.

 Siwon understood her feelings and instead of leaving her alone, he caught her hands and pulled her into his arms. She was squirming just like a fish out of the water. He was scared that she was going to hit him hard, but she didn’t. She calmed down and started to sob softly into his chest.

“What am I going to do?” She rubbed her nose and grabbed tightly onto his shirt. “What am I going to do?” She repeated.

Mi Rae fell asleep shortly after her episode. Her grip was so tight that Siwon couldn’t tear her hands away. He sighed and hoped that no one would enter her room the next morning.

The house was deadly silent. Min Jun was probably still sleeping soundly and her father was probably already gone. Mi Rae woke up before her bodyguard. She realized in what kind of position they were in but didn’t move away. She kind of liked it. It wasn’t every night that she could get cuddly with her crush.

When Siwon woke up, he got welcomed by a pair of deep brown eyes. She was shamelessly staring at him. He chuckled and covered her eyes with his available hand. She laughed softly and pushed his hand away. They were smiling at each other when Min Jun spontaneously appeared in her room. The two pushed each other quickly and acted like there was nothing going on. Min Jun raised one eyebrow and tapped his foot impatiently.

“Are you two done already?” Mi Rae and Siwon coughed and tried to look anywhere but the little boy. It was hard to keep a secret when her brother was so perceptive. “Anyway, let’s go to school. I have an important meeting to attend to” He walked out with his nose up high. Mi Rae scoffed and grabbed a hand through her messy hair.

The awkwardness between the two culprits and the young boy was big. Min Jun knew how much it meant, in money and not only, if he was going to keep their secret. He already had a deal planned up. At school, he had another business with his class mates. He was already acting like a CEO. He had information about everyone in his and his sister’s classes. He wasn’t stupid. He was there when the reporter informed everyone that Wu Yi Fan died mysteriously. The mess was revolving around his sister, but that wasn’t his job. She had to get out of it, on her own.

At school, though, things degenerated very much. Everyone was talking about the sudden death and they were all trying to solve the mystery of his death. Some students found the teacher’s prettiness guilty. It was a good reason to be killed. Some students found his closeness with the majority of his female students guilty. It was the best motive they came up with, yet.

Joon Myeon wasn’t at school, again. Mi Rae was worried that he might have had something to do with the latest death. She was trying really hard not to think about Joon Myeon in a bad way, but he wasn’t really helping either.

“That’s so strange. I never imagined he will just die out of nowhere” Suzy was one of the few who were debating the subject in the class.   Mi Rae didn’t want to express her opinion on that matter.

“I know. He didn’t deserve to die like that” She was neutral. She was trying not to imagine plots of what actually happened. The nervous face of her best friend and Siwon’s piercing gaze were swirling in her mind.

“Do you know what is even weirder? He died exactly on the day you talked to him” Mi Rae froze. Suzy continued absent mindedly. “What if he committed suicide because you refused him?” That was even a worse scenario to think about. Suzy wasn’t whispering anymore and people were starting to watch them. “What if he was so heartbroken that he pulled the trigger? That can happen” Mi Rae’s eyes were closed and she was trying to remain calm. Suzy was talking too much and too loud. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to remain silent.

However, Yuri heard everything, from the beginning. She furrowed her eyebrows together and processed the information. So, teacher Wu liked Mi Rae but Mi Rae refused him for some reason. That concluded in teacher Wu's death. Then, in Yuri’s mind there was only one answer. Mi Rae killed teacher Wu.

For the whole lunch break, Yuri made sure to tell everyone her theory. That was the reason why people were giving Mi Rae a hard time. They were whispering when she was in the vicinity; they were giving her mean looks or were openly judging her. However, no one went up to her and instigated her.

It was only after lunch when Yuri went to Mi Rae’s desk personally.

“Do you recognize that you had a secret relationship with teacher Wu?” Mi Rae almost killed herself by not gulping down the excessive saliva. She glanced at her colleague and scowled.  

“No. I already told you what I thought about him. I didn’t like him” Yuri scoffed.

Mi Rae was ready to get on her feet and walk away but Yuri wasn’t finished. She pushed Mi Rae back on the chair with little force. Mi Rae had more than 50% chances to kick Yuri and escape the embarrassment but she didn’t. It would look suspicious.     

“I’m pretty sure he confessed his love to you” Mi Rae sighed. She heard Suzy loud and clear. Yuri was very perceptive when it came to rumors. “You don’t deny it, do you?” Mi Rae bit her lower lip. She couldn’t deny it. He did sort of confess to her. “See? Then what happened? Yesterday you left in such a hurry. Was it because of him? Did you feel guilty?” Mi Rae rolled her eyes. That supposition was stupid.

Unfortunately, everyone believed Yuri. Many students saw her leave in a hurry the day before and they all saw she didn’t take her car, but Joon Myeon’s.

In just a week, the story started to take different forms. Some students were saying that Mi Rae knew teacher Wu for a while and they were in a serious relationship even before he transferred. Some students even thought she was the reason he transferred in the first place. But those were the nice stories. The bad stories were about her family. They were saying that she killed teacher Wu and one of her family members covered her traces. They were insinuating that her father was actually involved with the mafia and that her money weren’t clean. What hurt the most was the truth. Her father was actually the head of the mafia and their money was indeed dirty.

Joon Myeon didn’t appear at school the whole week. Suzy was the only person who was standing close to Mi Rae. Her past friendships died quickly. She was alone and even the teachers were warily watching her. Her whole life was breaking. Her lies and her acts were suddenly unimportant. She was sinking deeper and deeper into her own misery.

That Friday, after she arrived home, she realized that something was different. Firstly, Min Jun wasn’t home. She checked her wrist watch and saw it was well past 8 o’clock. It was getting dark and she was more worried of her brother than her own problems. Secondly, her father was home. That was definitely the best surprise. She tried to look and act normal but her father’s fierce gaze forced her to drop the act.

“Kang Mi Rae, come here” She complied. She had no power over her father. He was the boss in both business and family. “Is there something you want to tell me? Something regarding Siwon?” She panicked.

She was thinking that maybe her father thought Siwon killed her teacher. She was fidgeting and she was sweating. She wasn’t able to lie to her father.

President Kang was an intelligent man. He knew what was happening everywhere, mostly around his children. He knew about the rumors at her school and what people were talking behind her back. But, he wasn’t referring to that problem.

“What is your relationship with Siwon?” She stopped breathing for a second. That was definitely not the same problem she was thinking about. “Do you like Siwon?” She couldn’t lie. Instead, she nodded very slowly. “Do you like him as more than your bodyguard?” She remained still. She wasn’t going to start any new rumor. Her father’s eyes didn’t waver. They were cold and harsh.

“Where do you want to go with these questions?” She was a powerful person and held a lot of pride. Her father was proud to have such a young lady as his daughter. She was more like her father than she thought. But serious matters had serious solutions.

“Siwon” That wasn’t a question nor a statement.

She turned her head to the side in time to meet her bodyguard. He looked the same as always, except the luggage. He was dressed into a clean black suit but he didn’t have that manly charm around him anymore. He resembled a simple bodyguard. She was confused. Her father continued.

“Choi Siwon, I heard you got very close to my daughter” The way he accentuated some words were making Siwon sound like a e. That wasn’t the case because Mi Rae was already 18 years old. “I have seen the way Mi Rae looks at you and I understand she is a child and doesn’t know much about life. But you, Siwon, you are a man in his early thirties. That is why I ask you. Do you feel anything romantic for Mi Rae” She was patiently waiting for his answer.

“I see your daughter as if she were mine. She is only a child” Mi Rae’s face dropped considerably. She knew she might have begun a one sided crush but hearing him say it so bluntly hurt. Her heart hurt.

“Are you sure?” The bodyguard nodded. President Kang wasn’t an easy going man when it meant such important matters. He liked Siwon for his many skills and his loyalty. However, he couldn’t overlook the closeness between him and Mi Rae. He sighed and made a decision. “I give you two alternatives. You either leave this house and your position or” He grabbed the gun that was safely placed on his side and pointed it at Siwon. “You die with pride right here and right now” He shot two bullets that went right past the bodyguard. Siwon knew it had to come to that. That was why he already packed.

Mi Rae was blown away by what was happening in front of her eyes. Her father never acted like that before. Not with her around, at least. Her heart was beating a lot faster and she was waiting for his answer. Sadly, it wasn’t the one she wanted. He grabbed his luggage and started to walk towards the front door. Her whole life was breaking and the only person who cared enough to find out when her birthday was, was walking out of her life. She felt her eyes watering and she let her feelings out. She ran after him, crying, and grabbed his clothes.

“Don’t leave. Please, don’t leave me” She was a crying mess and her pretty face was stained with tears. It pained him to let her like that but he didn’t have a choice. He didn’t even glance at her for the last time. Her father pulled her into his arms harshly. Mi Rae was helplessly watching her perfect man walk out of her life with no remorse and not even a goodbye.

“You can’t live in the bubble your mother created for you, Mi Rae. Reality is harsh and cruel but the longest you survive, the stronger you get” She heard him clearly but she didn’t care. Her reality was too harsh. She was getting tired of everything.