“Oh, it’s Lihua-jie!” the bartender waved as you entered Lu Han’s restaurant during the off-hour. He sets aside the dish cloth he was using to wipe down the counter and slips out from behind the bar. “What’s up?”

“Don’t call me ‘big sis,’ just ‘Lihua’ is fine,” you huff, lightly scolding Chen. You never really liked it when people attached anything to your name, but being called ‘sister’ just . . . Chen was a friend of Yifan’s, and Yixing’s prankster roommate. “Is Yifan not in today, either?” It was so hard to find him lately . . .

“He went to run some errands for Lu Han-ge, so he’ll be back later.” Chen shoots a furtive look at the door, making sure that the said MIA person was, indeed, missing. “Did he hurt you again? Yixing-ge told me what happened between you two—“

You liked Chen, despite the fact that you rarely saw him because he was always locked up in the practice room at his school, perfecting each and every note in his singing. Smiling, you shake your head. “It’s all cool now, we’re friends. So, um . . . can you tell him I need to talk to him? I have to go back to the studio for a rehearsal, so . . .”

“Sure thing,” he gives you a thumbs-up, returning your smile.

“Thanks,” you say, waving as you dashed back to the studio.

As rehearsal ended late that evening, you stuck around even after all the other troupe members left, going through the routine again by yourself. Feeling your chest twinge, you mentally kick yourself for leaving your medicine on the counter this morning. Getting dizzy and short-breathed, your ankle bends oddly as you landed from a leap, and panic fills your mind as you go crashing towards the hardwood floor.

Whump!

A firm grip around your flailing arm yanks you off your feet, pulling you backwards and cushioning your fall.

“Jesus, you need to stop going out with my wife . . . you’re going to burst all the seams on your costume at this rate!” wheezed a deep voice from under you.

Zing.

 Realizing who had caught you, you roughly pushed off of him, scurried away, and then sat down. “What are you doing here?”

“Chen-chen said you were looking for me, so . . .” Yifan shrugs, pushing himself into a sitting position. He reaches into his book bag at his side, taking out a pill cartridge and pitching it to you.

Catching it, you stared at him. Why does Yifan have my meds?

Scratching his neck, he looks up at the ceiling, frowning at one flickering bulb and then counting the dead flies in the other row. “You left those at my place before we broke up . . . are they still good?”

“Mm,” you nod; forcing a pill down without water wasn’t particularly fun. Then you took a moment to think about it. Even when the two of you were together, Yifan always carried your medicine with him. You just never thought about it. Until now. “Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?”

“Carry my meds with you. I usually carry a few in my purse, you know. It’s not like you’re sick . . . so why?”

He shrugs again. “Habit, I guess.”

Zing.

“Why?”

“Habit, I don’t know! Yixing used to forget to take his meds all the time, and well—“

Yixing. Right. That’s why you wanted to talk to Yifan. “He’s sick? With hemophilia?”

“Yeah, but it’s not really like he’s sick. He was born with it, you know?”

“Is it serious?”

“Nah, he just needs to be careful. Meds and vitamins.”

“Oh . . .”

And your worried tone and expression must’ve set him off, because he sighs, getting up to sit by your side. He drops his jacket over your legs before taking off his snapback and fiddling with it.

“Yixing used to forget his meds all the time,” Yifan says, staring off into space. “And it was really scary that time we got into a fight with some kids back in high school—before I met you—“ he added quickly as you raised an eyebrow. He never got into any fights when he was with you, so . . . “He didn’t take his meds that day, but I didn’t know . . . heck, didn’t even know he was sick . . . He just wouldn’t stop bleeding. Lucky for us, there were some cops patrolling that area, and they rushed him to the hospital. But . . .”

“But?”

“I started carrying some of his meds after that.” Yifan runs a hand through his bleached hair. “He’s my best friend, you know? More irreplaceable than a true brother, and it’s not like he’s invincible or immortal . . . I was scared, I guess.”

The two of you sat in silence; Yifan was tossing his hat while you stared at the ceiling. Feeling exhausted, you lean your head on his shoulder out of habit. Startled, he looks over at you. “Lihua—“

“So you habitually carry other people’s stuff because you care about them?” you mumble. Your head was spinning and throbbing dully as the room starts to get a little fuzzy. “You’re a really greasy and cheese-filled lizard, Wu Yifan. That Li Na . . . she’s so lucky—“

“Lihua!”

“Thanks, Yifan, I owe you one.” You hear Yixing say to someone as you came to at his apartment.

“Yixing?” you called out to him as you opened your eyes. Your lenses weren’t there, you realize.

“Jun Lihua!” Lightly, Yixing flicks your forehead before wrapping an arm around your shoulders after seating himself near you. “I took out your contacts for you when Yifan brought you here.”

“. . . you poked around my eyeballs while I was out?”

“Hey, dried lenses hurt, so I was trying to help—ow!” He raises his arms to protect himself as you begin to beat him with the cushion that was under your head. And you stopped as Yifan coughed.

“Yeah, I gotta get going. Li Na’s going to blow a fuse and kill me ‘flatter than dead’ if I’m late again, so . . .” And he turns to leave.

Zing.

You notice a weird, sad—almost jealous—expression on Yixing’s face before it quickly melts into a small smile as he makes sure you’re OK before going to see Yifan off.

“So.” Yixing says, resettling himself on the sofa with you after seeing his friend off.

“So,” you replied, slightly perplexed by his expression. It was . . . strange. He didn’t look angry, but . . .

“Chen says you keep looking for Yifan—“

“It’s not what you think—“

“—and you’re always with Li Na.”

“Yixing—“

“I know you still can’t get over Yifan.”

It’s not like that! You wanted to scream, but you couldn’t look Yixing in the eyes and say that.

He sighs, closing his eyes. “It’s getting late . . . I’ll walk you home.”

Looking up at the snowflakes that gently slid off his umbrella after clumping together, you dare yourself to look over at Yixing, who feels like he’s millions of miles away even though you’re tightly holding his hand. You look at the ground and the thin white veil of snow that was being trampled under your feet. It was mid-December now, and this was the season’s first snow. Normally, days like this would be happy and fun, but . . .

Wordlessly, the two of you shuffle into the elevator and ride it to your floor, where he just stands silently as you punch in the key code. And as he turns to leave, you catch his sleeve.

Zing.

“Don’t go,” you say, your voice sounding small as you tugged at him.

He sighs, following you into your apartment. Once inside, you hang up both your jackets and make some hot chocolate, sitting with him at the little kitchen table.

“Lihua—“

“Don’t go,” you find yourself repeating, sounding smaller.

“Are you asking me to stay with you or not to leave you?”

You stare at him with glassy eyes, unable to answer as he rises to leave. Following him to the door, you catch his sleeve as he reached for his jacket. “Jun Lihua.”

You look away, desperately trying to think of something—anything—to say to detain him just a little bit longer. Then a tear slides down as you realize that this was the end—

Zing.

He sighs, and a corner of his lip curls up as he sets his coat back on the hanger. “If you want me to stay, you know I won’t leave tonight with just a kiss,” he says softly, his voice getting rough. Backing a few steps away from you, he stands next to your couch, watching as you stood frozen. You hesitate, but take those few trembling steps to him. And he leans down, pressing you against the armrest as he kisses you and gently restrains your arms. You can feel him—hot and hard—against you, and while you don’t hate this feeling, you can’t help but feel a bit nervous as he lifted you to your bedroom.

And that night, he made love to you as the first snow began to stick to the ground outside.

Watching him sleep as the first rays of sunlight began poking through the blinds, you think about last night and these last few months with Yixing. He was kind. He wasn’t as stupid as Li Na (and you) painted men to be. He loves you. And you love him, but . . .

Feeling his breathing change under your arms and head, you look up at his face; he was smiling at you.

“Good morning,” he says, stifling a yawn. Rolling a bit after lightly pushing you off his chest, he props his head up on one elbow to study you. And that sad and knowing expression in his eyes hasn’t changed from last night, even as he warmly kissed your forehead.

Zing.

And the tears spilled as he climbed out of bed first, and the two of you showered and tidied up separately.

After eating a silent breakfast together, he slips into his jacket, standing at your front door as you watched from a few steps away.

“Yixing . . .”

“Are you asking me to stay with you or not to leave you?” he asks, turning and crossing the room to cup your face in his warm hands. He sighs as you just look at him with those glassy eyes, smiling one last dimpled smile for you. “I’m not staying or leaving, but I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait until you can tell me you don’t still have feelings for him.” And he lets you go, turning away.

“Yixing, wait, I . . . I don’t love Yifan, we . . . we’re just friends, OK? I love you—“

Zing.

He turns again, and your heart clenches painfully as his droopy, saddened gaze pierces you.  “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” You say, mustering up the strength and courage to look directly into his eyes.

“Then kiss me.”

“Huh?” You jumped, since this was the first time he’d ever asked you to kiss him. It’d always been him kissing you first—

“I will wait.”

And then he was gone. Just like that, the two of you had broken up.

END // Heterochromia iridum 7

20160128 - 1 chapter left ._.

Recap: After hearing about Lay's condition from Li Na, you talk to Kris about it. You realize how much you love Lay, but still can't completely forget your feelings for Kris, and Lay knows this, so he kind of breaks up with you, saying that he will wait for you.