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May, 2075

 

 

    Lay leans on the wall beside the hospital room's door, sighing silently. He had to excuse himself from his mother and the other person inside the room, feeling suffocated by the emotions. He had thought he was ready, ready to face them, him. But nothing is ever easy in life.

    "Lay." someone calls out softly, almost hesitant.

    He turns, only to see her. His heart skips a beat and he tried hard not to run away from there because he's freaking too old for running away, figuratively and literally, his knees will probably break down on him anyways.

    But staying there might just be as hard as forcing himself not to tuck tail and run.

    "Sit down, Lay. You look tired." she says, taking a seat on the metal chairs lining the hallways nearest to the room.

    Lay took the chair a seat apart from her. "Thanks."

    Silence reigned over them and he somehow felt like it's just as suffocating as the atmosphere inside the room. He tried hard not to sigh or squirm, or scream. 

    Why must everything in life be so hard?

    "I don't hate you or anything, you should know that." she says.

    It takes him aback. The two of them had talked before, had even eaten together at one point in time, back when they were still young enough to find time; back when everything was a little easier because they were still younger. Growing up, life only gets harder and more complicated; they've grown up a lot ever since that last meal they were together.

    "I... " he takes a deep breath and prayed that he didn't look as confused as he felt. "I never held a grudge or anything... you should know that, Krystal."

    Krystal smiles, looking at the wall in front of them instead of Lay. "I know. You didn't seem the type, still don't."

    There's another bout of silence and the only thing breaking it once in a while were the sounds of beepin machines and the faint call on the intercom speakers on the hallways, doctor's names called now and again for emergencies and whatnots.

    "You..." Krystal says after a few minutes, "I will never know how it feels to be you growing up. I wasn't there, my life was different, so I admit that I will never understand."

    Lay might not know Krystal as much as he would have liked but if there was one thing he did knew about her is that she was honest to herself, she might come up too frank that it was borderline rude, but at least she doesn't butter her words that they are deceiving.

    Krystal looked at him before continuing, "But I do understand that if it had been hard for us, it was harder for you. At least I've got three brothers to cling on to, there were four of us through it all. You only had yourself." she smiles, soft and caring and honest. "You might not believe me but we never hated you. Or your mom."

    "I... I never thought that way. I know that none of you wanted things to happen that way as much as I did." he answered.

    Krystal nodded, turning until she was facing the wall in front of them again. "Dad... we never blamed him as well. So I hope that you don't--"

    "It wasn't his fault either." Lay cuts Krystal off softly. "He may have made wrong decisions... but if he hadn't made them then I wouldn't--"

    "Do you regret it? The life we lived?" Lay heard the person on the bed inside the room through the open door. His breath hitches, heart skipping once again in anticipation. Or was it dread?

    "Oh, my Joonmyun... there's so many things I wish we could have changed." Lay's mother says softly. "But do you think that if we're given the chance to change the things we regret doing, we'd be happy with the outcome?"

    The person on the bed was silent for a few moments, Lay thought he might have fallen asleep. But he didn't. He was merely taking his time contemplating about the answer he was to give. It might not be worth much, but his answer could very well be the words Lay had been waiting for so long to hear from him.

    "No... I don't think so." the person says. "I... everything that we have today is because of the decisions we had made. I can't bring myself to think of another outcome."

    Lay felt himself breathe out in relief. It's like the first real breath in his life.

    "It's good to hear..."

    "Hear what, Joonmyun?" Lay's mother asked with a gentle smile.

    "Hear you say my name again... Aleni."

 

~0~0~0~

 

February, 2019

 

 

    Suho holds her hand as they walked out of the restaurant, the two of them laughing at some lame joke that he said. Aleni wasn't laughing because Suho has the knack of delivering the not-so-funniest of jokes, no, it's because it's him that she's with him. And for that she's happy.

    Suho takes her to lunch almost everyday if their schedules allows, takes her to dinner once in a while, usually Friday nights where they would go and watch a movie, spend the night together in her apartment doing nothing until Suho needs to go back to his own home.

    More than a night or two, Suho stayed over. Aleni felt like her apartment found it's missing piece that she could finally call it  a home.

    "What do you want to do? It's still early." Suho asked as they settled inside the car.

    "Nothing in particular really. Besides, it's a Friday night, shouldn't you be spending time with your friends or something? These past few weeks I've been hogging your time, if I was your friend I'd get jealous."

    Suho just laughs, reaching out with his free hand to cradle hers and give it a kiss. "Do you think I'd rather spend my time with my friends than you?"

    "I'd like to think not. But I don't want to antagonize them by stealing you all the time." Aleni chuckles, loving the feel of Suho's hand on hers and the warmth of his lips on her skin.

    "You're not stealing any of my time. I'm giving it wholeheartedly." Suho mumbles against her knuckles. "I'm making up for lost time."

    "I know. I understand. I want this as much as you do." Aleni agrees. "But as much as I would like to keep you to myself, people also own many parts of you. Regretfully."

    "I really would love if I could keep myself to you."

    Aleni just laughed at the childish way Suho had said those words. She leaned onto him, careful not to disrupt his driving as she kissed his cheek. "But you are mine. Right?"

    Suho squeezed her hand a little tighter. "I waited for this for what feels like forever. I'd like to be selfish and keep it, if it's okay."

    "Of course it's okay. I'm selfish too."

 

    But even forever sometimes has it's ending...

 

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