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May, 2075

 

 

    Lay holds a steady hand as he leads his mother along the hospital hallways. Old age and rheumatism is making the journey hard for her and he insisted to use a wheelchair only for her to refuse.

    Once they got to the appropriate room, she paused outside the door, eyes on the namecard placed beside the doorframe. She raised a hand and traced her frail fingers on the name.

    "It's been so long..."

    "Mom..." Lay says, heart being pinched at the sight of tears on the corner of his mother's eyes.

    She struggles to smile, wiping the stray tears with fragile fingers. "Oh, I'll be fine, Yixing. Just a little melancholic. When you get old and useless, you tend to have too much time thinking about the past."

    Lay slipped a free arm around her and hold her closer, "You might have had your fair share of years, but you are never useless. Never will be." he smiles.

    "Such a smooth-talker, aren't you?" she chuckles. Taking a deep breath, she braced herself as Lay opened the door to let them in.

    The prone body lying on the bed looked fragile and frail, machines and tubes stuck onto the person covered in the stark white sheets. 

    There were people scattered all over the spacious room and they all perked up when Lay and his mother came in. They were silent, probably all exhausted from staying up at night because even it they were dead tired, sleep meant missing precious time spent with a beloved that was slowly slipping out of their grasps.

    The person lying on the bed stirred a little and almost all of the people around the room went to at least talk to him even if he won't really have the strength to answer them. After a few minutes, they made way for Lay and his mom to get closer.

    Lay just watched on the sidelines after making his mom sit on a chair beside the bed. It was as if she was having a silent conversation with the person on the bed, something so intimately personal that it would be a shame to interrupt.

    Slowly, the person on the bed reached out towards Lay's mom with a trembling hand, she reached out with her own frail one until they were holding hands as firmly as they could. Lay felt his heart beat just a little more painfully, knowing how much such little contact means.

    In this particular moment, it meant hello as much it meant as an uncertain goodbye; it meant everything that words can't say.

    Lay's mother smiles at the person and he could see a teardrop fall from her eye.

    "Hello, handsome..." she says, smiling through the tears.

 

 

~0~0~0~

 

 

April, 2013

 

 

    "Aleni!!!!" Amber all but yelled, jumping up and down as she scampered down the hallways and earning raised brows and annoyed looks from the students around, not that she cares at the moment.

    Aleni could hear her best friend's voice from her spot on the student lounge and she cringed inwardly; this is so bad for their record as graduating students.

    "Aleni!!!"

    Once Amber was in sight, Aleni glared at her, "Amber, keep it down! I don't want to have to go on a trip to the guidance office on my last  week on university, okay?!"

    Amber ignored Aleni's chides and all but tackled her into a hug, the latter letting out a surprised yelp.
    
    "What the--- Amber Liu! Let go of me! I can't breath!" Aleni protested, using all of her strength to pry her best friend away from her.    "What the heck--"

    "Com laude!" Amber grins. "Oh my gosh! Can you believe it?! Com laude!!"

    Aleni took her time stabilizing her breathing, giving Amber a sacrastic look. "No, I can't believe it. Who died and made you com laude?"

    Amber clucked her tongue disapprovingly but her face split back into that huge grin once again. "Idiot, nobody made me one. I can't believe you are though, you're such an airhead most of the time."

    "I am not an airhead-- wait... what do you mean with..." Aleni's eyes grew wider and wider steadily until she visioned them practically falling out of their sockets that she had to blink, afraid that they would really come out. "You mean...?"
    
    "Yes, yes, yes!" Amber jumped up and down excitedly. "You're a com laude!!! Congratualations!"

    Aleni didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and in the haze of excitement, she's pretty sure she was doing both at the same time, and God forbid if somebody had it on camera because she can't even imagine how ugly the sight is. But she's overly happy at the moment that she doesn't really care.

    After 4 years of gruesome nights and blood-draining suffering through examinations and tests, she made it! She made it through! Being Com laude is just a bonus at the end because graduating was really enough for her.

    The two of them started dancing around like kids, laughing in exhilaration.

    "Oh, you need to treat me into a meal after this! I almost got reprimanded for making a huge fuss at the faculty room where I heard the news!" Amber cheered.

    "I'll treat you to meal for a week!" Aleni says, laughing.

    As if graduating with flying colors was not enough, a couple of days before graduation, Aleni got called for an interview at the office she had applied a few weeks prior, thanks to her dad egging her to go and apply for work as early as possible.

    They were interested in hiring her, having heard about her being a com laude. It helped that the company managed was her dad's friend and when they offered her a position, she was happy to accept.

    She had to be sent abroad for training first though, but that was just a small 'downside' to the contract, or if she would be honest, a welcomed bonus. She had always wanted to travel abroad and the opportunity practically knocked her on her doorstep. Who was she to say no?

    It is easy to say that graduation day was easily one of the best days of Aleni's life. The ceremony was long and tedious, what with hundreds, if not thousand, of graduates called in line. But it was all a day's work and when the night came, Aleni ignored how tired her feet were, she went out with her friends to celebrate.

    Amber and some of their friends dragged the lot of them to a small restaurant, the one where they spent practically all of their meals, lunch and snacks, whenever they can. Sure, they all started to hang out there because of the need to free wi-fi access, but soon enough it was because the restaurant staff became their friends that it practically became an extension of their second home which was the school.

    Since the restaurant was popular with the students, there were lots of graduates celebrating there that it practically closed off to the normal patrons in lieu of giving the newly graduates freedom to enjoy the night to themselves.

    Aleni had never really been a party girl, but the hype of the day gets into her and even if she wasn't drinking, she let herself be swept away to the dancefloor by an overly-enthusiastic Amber. They were laughing and dancing and just enjoying the night, surrounded by equally ecstatic friends and schoolmates.

    "Gosh! It's really getting hot with all the people! I need to get some air!" Aleni yells at Amber through the boooming music ( the restaurant went all out for the students, bringing out their enormous sound system just for the night).

    "Okay! I'm just going to talk to some friends over at the bar. Don't go anywhere without me! Your dad will kill me if something happened to you!"

    "Yeah, yeah. I'll just be outside." Aleni grins.
    
    She slipped out of the throng of bodies, smiling and laughing with some friends she passes as she squeezed her way through them. Most of the students were halfway to being drunk out of their minds but in the height of their celbration no one was really that concerned about hangover and tomorrows.

    She found a bench just across the street  where the restaurant was. It was a good thing that the establishment was soundproofed because the other shops and buildings around were already closed for the night, it would be a real headache if the noise from the restaurant would be the cause of a conflict on the neighborhood.

    "Looks like you're enjoying the night." someone said.

    Aleni froze a little, turning to the person who talked and was ready to spring back to the restaurant for help if it's a ert or some stranger who had bad things on mind.

    But then, her heart made a little leap feast because dang it, could this day be any greater?

    "Suho?" 

    "Hi."

    She missed that blinding smile. She missed those eyes. She missed that gaze that had always made her want to turn into mush. If she would be honest, it's the first time she had forgot about Suho, just because she was excited about the graduation. It's one of those rare days that she wouldn't think of him and just miss the sound of his voice. And it looks like he didn't want to be forgotten at all.

    She grins, her heart jumping up and down in a different way it had as she got on stage to receive her diploma. "Hello, handsome."

    The sound of Suho's laugh is different from the one she remembers, it's richer and fuller, his voice finally settling after being confused thanks to puberty. It sounded a little different, and new. They haven't seen each other in the last five years but Aleni couldn't compare anything to it, certainly nothing that might sound better. Then again, nothing had really made her this too aware of something that she forgets about everything, it had only been Suho.

    "Congratulations on your graduation." Suho says, still sporting that huge smile as he walked over until they were just a few feet away from each other. "And I heard you're com laude too."

    Aleni grins proudly, "Got to make my parents proud. You're not the only one with demanding parents, you know."

    "Yeah, I know. They wouldn't even make me come here and visit. They visited me there instead." Suho says, smile faltering a little. "I'm sorry I couldn't--"

    "You shouldn't. I knew. I understand. You don't have to apologize for something that wasn't your fault."

    "But still..." Suho insisted. "I could have at least asked for a few week's vacation. I deserved it."

    Aleni feels a little guilty at Suho's self-blaming, so she nudged him with grin, patting his shoulder reassuringly. "Hey, don't fret! It's fine. You're here now so that's what counts. Gosh, you're still the same worrywart as before. And your height stayed the same as well. You haven't grown up a bit! Don't they have milk there or something?" she teased, congratualting herself when it brought out a smile from Suho.

    "I grew up! Maybe not that much, but I still earned a few inches, thank you very much." Suho laughs. He reached up and cupped her hands inside his, just like old times. "And you're right, I'm here now, and that's what counts."

    "Yeah..." 

    Suho smiles serenely, "Thank you."

    "For what?"

    "For waiting for me. Thank you. You didn't have to but... you're still here. Or am I... am I assuming too much?"

    "No!" Aleni answered way too fast for her liking, making her bite her lips shyly. "I mean... I mean... no... just..." 

    Was it really hard to tell him that she doesn't have a boyfriend?  That even if she knew it was kind of stupid, she was consciously and subconsciously waiting for him, the reason why all of the relationship she tried to have over the years all failed because she wasn't entirely comitted to them?

    Suho laughs again, holding her hands a little tighter, "I understand."

    Aleni let Suho hug her, it was a hesitant gesture but when he finally had his arms around her, it was as if five years had never passed. She winded her arms around him like she had always done in the past.

    "This time... let's try to make it last." Suho whispers into her hair.

    She held on just a little tighter, "Yeah. That would be great."

    It was a few weeks later that Aleni was reminded of the things she had agreed to, her duties that she must fulfill because life doesn't stop when you got out of college, with flying colors or not.

    "How long will you be gone?" Suho asked, his tone was blank and it's the first time Aleni had ever heard it from him. 

    It scares her. But she knew Suho would understand. He knew that even as young as they both were, family duties comes first, and that meant getting sent away for the benefit of their family.

    "The training is at least 6-8 months, it depends really. And if things go well, they might ask me stay there for a year or two for more advance training, when I get to go back, I'd be capable enough to train the new employees. It will be tough work, no doubt, but it'll pay off in the end."

    Suho was silent and Aleni didn't know what to make of that. 

    "Hey... are you... are you okay?" she nudged him with her shoulders.

    Suho sighed, turning to her with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Looks like I get to do the waiting this time."

    "Don't say that." Aleni pouts. "You... you don't have to wait."

    Lies. At least to herself, she would admit that that was a blatant lie. She wants him to wait for her just as she had for him. But she was not that selfish. She wants him to be happy.

    Even if it is not going to be with her.

    Suho looked at her, eyes full of bewilderness, and something else that she couldn't fathom. "Five years... you waited that long. What is three or four years that I do the same?"

    "You can't make your life stop just because I am away. You didn't make me, I am not going to make you. It is unfair, for both of us."

    "Are you telling me that you are going to forget me once you're gone?" Suho sounded as wounded as he looked.

    "No. Of course not." Aleni shook her head vehemently. She cupped his face and eased the frown on his forehead. "Que sera, sera, remember? If it is us, then it will be."

    "But what if you forget about me once I'm not around?"

    The insecurity in Suho's voice made Aleni smile despite the tug at her heart; such insecure feeling is unneeded. "Will you forget about me?"

    "No..." Suho says in almost a whisper, "I don't think I can."

    "Then you've got your answer." she smiles reassuringly. "Joonmyun... you've got to have a little faith."

    "I do... but the future is a really scary thing, you know?"
    
    She had this urge to just hug him, to reassure him, so she did. "Hey! Didn't we agree about not worrying about the future? What's important is today, the present. Right?"

    "Que sera, sera." Suho sighs.

    "Yeah."

    "And have a little faith."

    "Yep." she nodded. "Have a little faith."    

    As Aleni's plane went farther and farther away from the airport, she couldn't help but to think that it hurts just as much when it was Suho who was leaving while she was left behind waiting.

 

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