21st January 2014

     A terrible stench hung in the air few days later. The boys were on their way to the basement when the smell hit them, so strong that it left a bitter taste in their mouth. Tao was the first to pick up on it, and he scrunched his nose in disgust, staring pointedly at s. "Eww! What the hell is that smell?! Admit it, who released that toxic waste?"

      Everyone began to notice the god-awful scent blanketing the air after that, and eyes soon shifted from one face onto another, imploring for the wrongdoer to come clean. But no one admitted to it, and the smell didn't seem to go away. Right after practice, which didn't last long because their eyes began to water from the overbearing stench, Suho and Kris rushed to the management office upstairs to lodge a complaint.

      The president was too busy to care, so he sent for his secretary, and called over EXO's manager. The two men immediately rushed off to check the basement, while Kris and Suho returned to their dorm. No one thought about the stench for the next few hours, until Kai heard sirens approaching the building from outside, and he knew that something was seriously wrong somewhere. Everyone else in the building heard it too apparently. The boys crowded the balcony outside their living room, peering down to see what happened.

     Someone in a police uniform yelled out orders to his fellow colleagues, and four men stormed in with a few paramedics carrying a stretcher behind. An ambulance waited nearby, its loud siren flashing red under the dimly-litted street. Persistant fans crowded the parameters where the ambulance and police vehicles were parked, and three officers were barracading them into a respectable distance. All the other SM idols occupying the units next door also came out to their balconies to check the commotion, and there were puzzled looks on their faces.

     "What do you think this is about, hyung?" Sehun asked, resting his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder.

     "I don't know, Sehunnie. But it looks bad."

    "Do you think someone got hurt?" Kai asked, directing it at no one in particular. And three people shrugged in return.

     No one knew what was going on, and for a long time everyone waited in anticipated silence. Then the four police officers came out again, with the paramedics following suit. Only this time there was obviously a body lying on the stretcher, and no one could see who it was because a black plastic bag covered up all the way to its face. The fans began murmuring in loud whispers amongst themselves, taking pictures of the whole scene, while others just stood by silently.

     Three units away, the boys could hear their Shinee sunbaenims making comments about the body on the stretcher, but a person had to be ridiculously stupid if they couldn't guess it was a dead body lying on the stretcher. So in respect of whoever-it-was that had passed away, no one made any silly assumption about it. The fact that it came from inside SM's building meant that it could be someone they knew, but never really noticed. Or a friend of a friend. The company was big, with over 300 employees, and a little over a hundred idols, so someone ought to know the deceased. 

      When the ambulance finally rolled away towards Seoul's General Hospital, the boys filed back inside with solemn expressions. Someone knocked on their door a second later, and the face that greeted them was none other than their manager. It wasn't the fact that he came just minutes before midnight which had surprised them. It was the way his clothes and hair were in a disheveled state, pupils dilating, panting heavily and eyes wide with mortification as fear flashed through his face for a second. He scanned the room to make sure all 11 members were there when he announced the news.

     And the boys stood in place, shell shocked and frozen when he said, "Someone died. And we think it's Kyungsoo."

===XOXOXOXO===

10th May 2013

     "Take this and go to bed. You'll need a lot of rest if you expect to get better soon." Kyungsoo remarked before slipping into the empty spot on Kai's bed to cuddle the younger male. Kai welcomed the motherly warmth from his hyung, snuggling closer until his face nestled against Kyungsoo's chest. And he listened to the soothing sound of Kyungsoo's beating heart before he dritfted back to sleep, the dull throbbing at the back of his head eventually faded away into nothing.

     When he woke up the next morning, the sun was already high and Kyungsoo was lying on top of him, the older's cheek pressed against his bare torso. Kai made no attempt to push him away and his expression softened into a loving gaze as his eyes followed the outline of Kyungsoo's feature. "You're so beautiful, hyung..." He muttered to himself, hoping that this moment would never end. "I love your large round eyes, your cute button nose, and especially your heart-shaped lips. Everytime you smile, my heart does a little flip, and everytime you sing, my heart beats fast to the rhythm of your voice. I wish I could cuddle with you every night before we go to bed, and I want to wake up this way every morning too, to see your face and kiss your lips. I know it sounds creepy, but I really love you, soo. To the moon and back."

      It was a perfect speech; one he knew he could never tell Kyungsoo. Everytime he mustered up enough courage to confess his feelings, he would suddenly break out into a nervous panic attack, and the words would get stuck in his throat. Instead of relishing in the joy of finally claiming Kyungsoo as his, he ended up turning into a blabbering fool, and Kyungsoo always assumed he was sick again. So Kai gave up trying too hard, and he enjoyed the little moments he had with Kyungsoo. Just the two of them. Alone.

      "I don't have to tell you my feelings, soo. I know deep down that you love me too. You do, right? I can't read expressions as well as Joonmyeon hyung, but he said that you love me. You love taking care of me. And you're always taking my side. You cook for me, and do my laundry. And you'd run to the convenience store at three o'clock in the morning just to buy fever medicine. I know you love me, and I want you to know that I love you too." Kai finished off his speech chirpily, combing back Kyungsoo's fringe with his fingers.

      "I love you so much, Do Kyungsoo. It pains me to lack the courage to tell you."

      And Kyungsoo stirred in his sleep then, turning his face up to look at the younger male. Kai had a mini spazz attack when those large dark orbs he loved so much were suddenly on him. His tongue tied up into a knot again and his throat felt dry. He didn't think Kyungsoo had heard everything, and he was suddenly so afraid that the older male would reject his confession. His heart was beating erratically as his brain tried to think of an explanation when Kyungsoo sighed. The older male's voice was groggy and still thick with sleep when he said, "Then don't tell me. Show me."

     ===XOXOXOXO===

21st January 2014

       News traveled fast in the world, and it wasn't surprising to see a report on this incident an hour after the body was found. The newscaster had a solemn pitiful look on her face as she shuffled the papers in front of her before she spoke. Her voice was almost monotonous, but it was clear when she said, "Tonight, we bring to you an unfortunate news regarding one of Korea's largest enternainment companies, SM Entertainment. A body was recently found inside SM's lower ground floor, which was believed to have been rotting away for the past few weeks. SM Entertainment refused to provide a statement regarding the discovery. Forensics were unable to determine the identity of the deceased due to the distorted condition of the body. Authorities have yet to reveal the reason behind the deceased's death. More reports will be posted up in our website for the next couple of hours, and now we will check on our correspondence who is currently reporting at the site."

     The screen switched to a live-telecast reporter a second later, who was standing directly in front of SM building. Fans crowded every corner of the building, making it difficult for her to report the news over their deafening noise. They wanted to see their idols, apparently, and they wanted answers. Now. But SM still refused to provide a statement, and every entrance was blocked, with police officers and security guards barracading the crowd outside. It was a total mess out there, and the boys shuddered under the immense pressure and emotion coursing through their body.

     None of them wanted to believe it was Kyungsoo. It couldn't be him, since he had been sending letters to them. They didn't know why their manager would think it's him. Sehun switched to another news channel after that, much to his hyungs' annoyance, and this breaking news shattered their hearts into a million pieces. Kyungsoo's face was displayed across the screen, with his identity card number next to it.

     The newscaster, a male this time, stated that the body 'may belong to one named Do Kyungsoo', because his identity card was apparently found next to the dead body. Forensics were still trying to test for any DNA result, hoping to confirm the deceased's identity. Otherwise, every other statement were the same with the first news channel. Kai couldn't take it anymore, and promptly went over to pull the plug off. His eyes were wet and puffy when snuggled down next to Xiumin again, seeking warmth.

      "What do we do now, leader?" Chanyeol asked Suho, who also had tears in his eyes. The leader felt helpless for once, unable to do anything but to wait and see. It was already late by then, and the boys ought to be in bed, so he sent them to their rooms and told them to sleep.

     "It may not be Kyungsoo. We should know better. We have letters to prove he's still alive." They wanted to believe him so badly, and some of them tried to catch some sleep. Others stayed awake, plagued by thoughts and memories from the past, wondering where on earth could their missing member be right now.

===XOXOXOXO===

22nd January 2014

       Another letter arrived at their doorstep the following morning. It was still hours before their perfomance for MBC that day, and it was their goodbye stage for Growl. Their new Overdose album was set to be released in two weeks and no one was still sure about Kyungsoo's parts. No one could mimic his honey-sweet, dulcet voice. And his dancing skills were equally well matched with his singing ability too. Kai could see that with a lot of practice, Kyungsoo could almost dance as well as the group's two maknaes. It was such a waste that he disappeared during the moment they needed him most.

       EXO's first concert was only scheduled to start in May, but the boys had begun practicing for it. Sweat-drenched, parched-lips, and clouded-mind did not hinder them from giving out their all. They were driven to make this work, determined to stand on that stage and relish in all the hardwork and effort they had put over the years; to finally be EXO as real idols, and no longer as rookies. The journey they embarked these two years after they debuted as a group was memorable, but they were only a shadow behind their sunbae groups, like a kid following after his older sibling.

     Their time to shine was getting close.

     And now they received news that Kyungsoo was dead.

     Dead.

     "Read it out, hyung." Chen uttered impatently, joining the rest of his bandmates in the living room. The boys were just about done with their breakfast when someone rang the doorbell. Suho went to check who it was immediately, hoping it was their manager. Much to his dismay, no one stood outside the door, but instead he found the letter on the ground when he looked down. After checking the hallway to see if anyone was there, he shrugged and brought the crumpled note inside.

     Luhan noticed the conflicted look on his face first, and he called the others to gather around.

     "Is it from Soo again?" Baekhyun asked.

    Suho opened the letter and nodded. "It's his handwriting." He sighed, wondering if someone was playing a cruel joke on them. If this was a joke, then the game would have to stop. It was getting harder to believe that Kyungsoo was still alive when his face was displayed across all the news network first thing in the morning, with the caption 'found dead in SM's building' in every one of them.

     Despite his growing doubt over his missing bandmate, Suho still read out the contents of the letter.

Mr. K,

     What you see may not necessarily be what it seems. You used to tell me that. Do you remember?

     It was such a short letter but it frustrated them terribly. Suho sighed as he folded back the letter into its envelope, while the others guys argued about what it meant. Some refused to believe it was Kyungsoo, arguing that the person was heartless to use Kyungsoo's name like that. Others were floating in between their own doubts and beliefs, desperately hoping it was Kyungsoo, and that everything they heard on TV had been a lie so far. They still couldn't accept the fact that one of their members had died.

     Kai was quiet the whole time though, while the guys were arguing. The words hit him like a bulldozer, because he remembered saying it to Kyungsoo countless times. He stared at the ceiling for a longer, recalling all the memories he and Kyungsoo shared together, the days they played under the sun, and everytime Kyungsoo thought he won a game against Kai, the younger male would return a casual grin and said, "What you see may not necessarily be what it seems."

      "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Kyungsoo snapped back with a huff.

       Kai stuck out a tongue to instead and Kyungsoo gave chase. They were cycling along the Han River that evening and the sunset filled the sky with different shades of yellow and orange, making it seemed like a date between two friends, instead of just their casual cycling routine. Kyungsoo pedaled a little too hard when he chased after Kai and the chain suddenly came free, throwing him off the bike and into the grassy sidewalk nearby. He landed on his with a soft thump, and Kai stopped his bike to check on the older male.

      "Told you." He said, laughing jovially.

      "You piece of . What did you do to my bike?" He saw the chain hanging from its hinge, and he sighed. "I gotta fix this."

      "Don't need to. Just hitch a ride with me." Kai suggested.

      "Like I'd want to do that."

      "Of course you do. Don't you want to feel the wind against your face? I thought you like that."

      Kai got him there and he finally gave in to his dongsaeng's stupid antics. He hopped onto the back of Kai's bike and placed his foot on each side of the foorholder on the back tire. Kai took off sprinting on his bike after that and Kyungsoo never felt more alive that day till the wind started slapping across his cheeks.

      "Guys, I think I know who Mr K is." Kai finally interrupted the heated argument in the living room, and all eyes turned to him; some fierce, some tired, but mostly depressed.

      "Who is it then, Jongin?" Xiumin asked. His eyes were tired, because they'd been arguing about this for a long time, and there was never a solid answer by the end of it.

     "It's me. I used to say those words to him."

===XOXOXO===