Guys, it's important that you follow the timeline, ok.

Mr. K,

     Let's take a step back and reflect on our lives. It's short, thrilling and cheesy, but none that could make a man regret the decisions he made. Everyday is a challenge, a mistake, a failure and a lesson. We learn from it, and we try to avoid making the same mistakes. But what if we can't? What if we fall and never get back up? What if...we can't let go of our past? If that happens, will you still forgive me?

===XOXOXOXO===

4th January 2014

     Chanyel folded back the neatly written note after reading it aloud and looked up at the remaining ten faces staring back at him. They wore the same solemn expressions, faces scrunched into a mixture of worries and confusion, but none were smiling and none had questions. The words were in itself too puzzling to decipher and no one knew what exactly that needed to be asked.

      It had been exactly a week since Kyungsoo's sudden disappearance, and nobody, not even the people outside their group circle, were sure where he could be anymore. The company had started looking for the missing member since the day he disappeared, but with very little clues to aid them, the search always came back fruitless.

      And time was running out.

     If Kyungsoo had been kidnapped, and that's a big if, he could have been taken out of Seoul by then, or possibly deported out of Korea too, and no one would have been able to find him at all. Either that, or his captors were just really good at hiding an idol in the middle of a bustling city. Seoul wasn't as big as New York, but it was still difficult to track down a single person hidden inside it. There were crook and crannies of musty alleyways and sketchy neighbourhoods left unturned, danger lurking in corners of places where light could never reach and because of this, no one really tried to search beyond the obvious areas.   

     The boys grew impatient as the hours grew longer. They sat huddled on the couch and floor, limbs tangled over each other to seek out any sort of comfort available, exchanging anxious glances and silently praying for their missing member. Kyungsoo wasn't just another member of EXO. He was their family, and seven years of training together wasn't going to waste in just one week. 

     "What does it mean?" Kai asked, the first one to break the uncomfortable silence that fell across the room. 

     "I don't know, Jongin. It's addressed to Mr K, so I guess it's for one of us." Chanyeol shrugged, tossing the letter on the coffee table. Baekhyun picked it up slowly, as if t'was a fragile glass that could suddenly break if he wasn't careful. There were tears glistening in his eyes as he opened the letter once more, drinking in the neat handwriting like a glass of undiluted lemonade. There was a bitter taste in his mouth when he said, "It's Kyungsoo's handwriting. I recognize it."

    Ten pair of eyes immediately stared at him in suprise, and Xiumin audibly gasp at the remark. "Are you sure, Baek?"

    "Yes." The brunette said, eyes still trained on the piece of note he held in his hands. "He's the only one in our group who writes in cursive. I've seen his diary, so I'd know."

     The same uncomfortable silence blanketed the living room once more, and no one knew what to say this time. Baekhyun said the letter was from Kyungsoo, yet it seemed so odd for him to send a letter if he was kidnapped. He might have been pressured into writing it, with a gun pointed to his head or a knife pressed against his throat, but then the contents of the letter itself didn't make sense. Why would his captors force him to write about asking forgiveness? 

      "It doesn't make any sense." Chen started, arms crossed over his chest. He was just as frustrated over this matter as s were, and it pained him to feel so helpless at a time when someone he loved clearly needed help. Someone they all loved. "Should we give it to the president?"

     "It wouldn't do them any good." Suho grimly muttered.

     "Maybe they'd be able to trace the origins of this letter, from where it came from, and who sent it. We have to at least try."

    They agreed to try in the end, because everything had to come from somewhere, and somewhere might lead to Kyungsoo. Without bothering to figure out who Mr. K was, Suho and Sehun left the dorm with the letter safely tucked in Suho's jacket. Baekhyun didn't want to remain gloomy for the rest of the day, so he enlightened up the mood a little, throwing lame jokes at Chanyeol to get the giant on his side.

    Life in EXO's dorm continued as it was, but with one member still missing, nothing was ever the same anymore.

===XOXOXOXO===

14th January 2013

     "Yah, Kim Jongin, will you stop pestering me?" Kyungsoo snapped, eyeing the younger male with a hint of annoyance on his face. He was woken up three hours too early, evident to the clock on the wall behind Kai's head, and his eyes could barely crack open. Yesterday's practice awarded him with a sore back, which only elevated his annoyance thrice as much, so seeing Kai's smiling face first thing in the morning did not melt his insides like it usually would. It made him sour, grumpy and annoyed.

     And Kai's faded smile did not make him feel any guiltier than the time he stole the younger's fried chicken. It had been a deserving moment for him that time, because Kai had stolen more than a fair share of his nachos all week.

     The lanky male pouted when he realized his favourite hyung was still mad at him. "Oh come on, Soo. It's already 7 o'clock, and you never sleep in on a beautiful day."

    "It's Saturday for god's sake, Jongin. I want to sleep in. Aren't you sore from yesterday's practice?" He wrapped his thin baby blue blanket around his body once more, the same one that Kai had pulled away to wake him up seconds ago.

    "No, I'm not." Kai said, "I want to go out with you today." He watched his hyung sink back into sleep, and he sighed heavily. So much for his plan to spend his birthday with Kyungsoo that day. He wouldn't be surprised if Kyungsoo didn't even remember. The older male forgot his own birthday two days back, because everyone was so busy preparing for the upcoming concert next Thursday, and intensive practice had started.

    Kai was the probably the only one who remembered their birthdays, but he couldn't find the time to wish his hyung a happy birthday and no one else did either. It came and go faster than the speed of light, and a day later, Kai thought about spending two birthdays in one day---killing two birds with one stone---but now the older male wasn't even being cooperative, and what else could he do?

    "Hyung..." He tried to wake Kyungsoo up one last time, shaking his shoulder gently, and when no reply came from the sleeping figure, he decided to give up. There'll be time to celebrate their birthdays after the concert, he thought sadly. It was just a matter of time.

     Saturday was a no-brainer day for Kai. He'd laze around in the living room, an magazine held fast between his thumb and index finger, while his other hand slid along the shaft of his quivering . There was no need to think of anything, because when he wasn't doing pirouettes on the dance floor, or stretching his hamstring muscles in the gym, Kai preferred to lie around and do nothing. Sometimes the other guys would join him, but most times they don't. 

    And when boredom eventually got the better part of him, he'd sleep through the whole day until the next sunrise.

    But that day, he was woken up by a loud noise, and the clock on the wall pointed to a quarter past eight. He squinted at the window, past Baekhyun's sunflower curtains, to check for sunlight streaming through its glass panes, but he met with pitch darkness instead, the moon reflecting a dim glow into his room. It was eight o'clock of the same day, and unless he'd slept through the next day altogether, the sun was already long gone by then and he was wide awake in bed. 

    "Damn..." He breathed out heavily, groaning at his luck. He might not be able to sleep tonight, considering the hours he clocked since noon. Another noise boomed through the whole dorm, and he jerked in surprise. "What the hell are they doing?" He muttered, getting up quickly.

    He flung the door open and, "SURPRISE!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM JONGIN!" found a birthday cake shoved to his face, two fat candles stuck into the middle where his name was. He recognized the handwriting anywhere, and when he looked up to face the person holding his cake, he was happy to see Kyungsoo, eventhough he'd expected to see the older male. A warm, fuzzy feeling settled in his chest, and a tear streaked down his cheek when he made a wish and blew out the candles.

    Someone hugged him after that. Chanyeol, from the smell of his cologne. "Sorry for doing this so late, Jongin. We wanted your birthday to be perfect, and Kris hyung had diarrhea all morning."

     "Stop putting all the blame on me, yoda. You were busy with Baek, if I recalled."

     "Yeah, but we were ready to go out by then. Of course we had to find something to do while you renovated our bathroom."

      ", that's what you were doing." Kris remarked, casting a lazy smirk at his equally tall bandmember. "Tao heard it. He told me."

      "Stop talking as if I'm not here!" Baekhyun huffed angrily, his ears and cheeks turning red when a few of them snickered at him. But Chanyeol didn't seem bothered by the remark. "Anyway, we're forgetting the main point of the topic here. Jongin, to put it simply, we had to wait for you to take your afternoon nap before we could go out to buy your presents. Kyungsoo baked the cake for you."

     "It's your favourite, Jongin ah. Black forest special with strawberries and macaroons. I even made your favourite flavored macaroons. I'm sorry for snapping at you this morning. I was really tired from yesterday's practice, but I didn't want to ruin the plan too. Forgive me?"

    "Of course I would." He said, unable to embrace the older male because he was still holding the cake, but everyone else started pulling him into hugs instead, some squeezing a little too hard, while others were casual bro hugs, yet all Kai could see was Kyungsoo, beaming back at him with the largest smile on his face. It was one of Kyungsoo's adorable traits, one of the many that always made Kai's heart beat frantically, doing weird somersaults before diving down to his stomach.

     It was one of the reasons why he fell in love with Do Kyungsoo.

===XOXOXOXO===

17th January 2014

     The scent of Kyungsoo's cologne still lingered in the air, and it was probably the reason why Kris still slept in their shared bedroom. Before the doe-eyed male's disappearance, they were the only ones occupying the smallest bedroom in the whole dorm, since Kris complained about their manager's snoring and it was waking him up in the middle of the night. A meeting was brought up regarding this matter, and Kyungsoo had been asked to switch rooms with the manager. 

    It had been a year and eight months since that day and Kris wondered how long it'll take before the scent vanishes too, just like its owner. But he didn't want it to go, just like how his heart cried out for Kyungsoo every night, begging God to return his roommate to him, but as days passed and seconds dragged into minutes, his tortured heart realized one important point that he wished he'd realize sooner.

    That he was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with his roommate. When did his feelings first evolve? He wasn't sure. How did it come to be? He wasn't sure either, but he'd always loved spending time with the boy, laughing over a good game of Scrabble on certain nights, sharing heart-to-heart conversations on others and cuddling up next to each other on rainy days. Kris knew the younger's strength, weaknesses, fears and qualms by heart, able to recite them in a poem if he wishes, so he wondered if Kyungsoo was hiding under his covers that night because there was a storm outside. Kris knew he hated thunders the most, and these nights were usually spent with the younger's face buried in his chest. He felt his heart constrict at the thought of Kyungsoo crying out in fear, and he slammed his fist against the tear-stained pillow under him.

        He soaked in his own despair for hours on end after that, staring at the white-washed ceiling of their bedroom, and hoping that Kyungsoo's scent would somehow latch onto his clothes as he laid completely still on the boy's bed. The sound of the ticking clock in the distant was the only sound he could hear by then, and another sleepless night passed to begin the whole cycle again.

     A persistent rapping on the door woke him up the next morning and Xiumin's voice called out for him seconds later. "Kris-ah, are you awake? You'll have to come out now. There's something important you need to hear." There was a hint of urgency in his voice as he continued banging on the door. Kris finally rolled out of bed, and groggily reached out for the doorknob. When he opened it, he was met with a wide-eyed baozi. "Quickly Kris! There's another note for Mr.K, and we think it's addressed to you."

     The boys were stumbling over their own feet as they raced to the living room, where the others were already seated around the coffee table. Chanyeol held the neatly folded letter in his hand, and Kris snatched it from him in a blink, his heart racing in anticipation as he fumbled with it.

Mr. K,

     Remember the nights we stayed awake...the sound of laughters echoing in the air, and the heat of the moment when our hands brushed against one another. I couldn't sleep well after that, your soft snoring and my labored breathing loud against my ears, keeping me awake. Remember the nights you cooed me to sleep...a raging beast thundering outside but all I heard was the beating of your heart, drifting me back into slumber. I missed those days.

      How long has it been? A week? A month? Almost, isn't it? Please don't wait for me. I fear I might break the promise we made a long time ago. I fear I might never return to embrace you once more. So for now, just accept this simple apology from me.

     Until we meet again.   

      Kris in a breath, tears already rolling down his cheeks in fat drops. The words hit him like an arrow through his heart, and yet there was a lingering hope hanging in the thick silence of the room. Kyungsoo said 'until we meet again', eventhough he specifically wrote 'don't wait for me'  somewhere along the lines.

      "Soo is gonna come back, right." Xiumin spoke out first. It wasn't a question.

       "He will. If he doesn't, I'll make him." He folded back the letter and slipped it into his pajama pocket. "Let's have some breakfast, and meet the president later. I think I might have a plan on how to get our squishy back."

    "Plan?" Kai asked, skeptical. They still couldn't find Kyungsoo after three weeks. What difference could a plan do now? But for some odd reason, he felt like he could trust the duizhang on this. After all, they needed all the hope they could muster.

     "Just trust me on this, guys. We can't give up yet."

     For the first time in a long time, the boys began to hope again.

===XOXOXOXO===

13th November 2012

     Kyungsoo fell into a ditch that day, and so he wrote it inside his diary. It was as significant to him as the day he discovered his talent in singing, because that talent brought him fame ten years later, and falling into a pile of brown gooey gunk appaerently brought him closer to Kris. That was the first time he saw the most brilliant smile on the duizhang's face for a long time, and the sight left him frozen in place. "You smiled." He said, eyes unblinking and wide as he stared at the chinese male incredulously.

     "I smiled." Kris repeated cheekily, pulling the younger male into a hug, despite having mud splayed across his crisp white shirt now. "Thanks for making me smile, soo. I guess I forgot how much I needed it."

     They all knew how much he missed his family in Canada, and his mood had been quite sour for the last couple of weeks. But he managed to conceal his emotions well, only letting his tears pour in the privacy of their bedroom. It was heart-clenching to see him so depressed, and the boys didn't know what they could do to cheer him up, so Kyungsoo was quite glad he finally broke down that cold uninviting wall around the chinese leader. It felt good to see Kris this way.

     "Should we celebrate it then?" He grinned, looking up to see that dazzling smile again. "I think we should celebrate, hyung. We all missed you, and we know how much you miss your family, but we want you to know...I want you to know...that we're here for you. You don't have to cry alone anymore."

     Kris warmed up at the notion, resting his chin on Kyungsoo's head, as he pulled the younger closer. Out of all the members in the group, Kyungsoo held a special place in his heart. Eventhough he reminded himself that it was just a hyung-and-dongsaeng relationship, there was something about the shorter male that seemed to pull him in at times. And left him in a confused state of doubt over his own emotions.

    At the moment, he was just glad to have Kyungsoo there. Beside him. "Yeah, we should celebrate. Let's go disturb the others." Kris teasingly remarked, yanking on Kyungsoo's wrist.

    "Oh wait, we gotta buy some beer first. It's not a celebration without beer, hyung. We know you love to drink."

    Kris chuckled at the idea. Kyungsoo was one of those people who knew him well just by staring long enough. Or maybe because they spent a lot of time together so the younger male was naturally inclined to pick up his habits. Either way, Kris was grateful for the effort. Kyungsoo really wanted to cheer him up. Heck, everyone did. He was just too mule-headed to care.

     "We could also get that chocolate you love. But I think you've had enough of chocolate in one day."

     Kyungsoo suddenly felt so embarrassed at the state he was in that his cheeks dusted pink. "I-I still want that chocolate, hyung."

    :"Aigoo, you're so cute. Alright, I'll get a bar for you, but keep it away from the others. I can't afford to buy for all of them. So this one is a present for you. Only you."

     The younger male swore he was turning red after that last remark, but he turned around quickly so that Kris couldn't see it. They walked back to the hypermarket that they went to earlier, talking animatedly along the way about the other members and laughing at all the silly things they did in the past. Everything felt like normal again. No depressing thoughts lingering in the air. And after buying three dozen cans of beer, in which Kyungsoo insisted on paying, they returned to the dorm with smiles on their faces.

    The other members were momentarily shocked to see their duizhang back to normal again, but they didn't doubt for a second that Kyungsoo would be the cause of it because the younger male was capable of affecting people with his owl-like stare and heart-shaped smile. Beers were passed around and Chen began to troll around as usual, throwing lewd remarks at Baekhyun and Chanyeol to get them riled up. Kyungsoo sat quietly at the side, a can of beer in his hands as he watched s play a game of truth or dare. Xiumin had accompanied him soon after, hooking an arm around Kyungsoo's waist.

     The night passed on rather quick, with Kris and Kai slumping down lazily on the couch by the end of it while the others huddled on the floor, all eyes trained on the television now. There was an english movie playing on screen, Lord of the Ring, and it was Kris's favourite so they agreed to watch it together. When Kris stole a glance at Kyungsoo for a second, he was surprised to see tears glistening in the younger's eyes.

     There was nothing sad about an orc talking to another orc, but Kris was sure he saw tears rolling down that flawless skin. He waited until the movie ended, and only after everyone bid each other goodnight did he finally confront his dongsaeng. "Why were you crying just know, soo?" He asked.

    Kyungsoo looked at him in surprise for a second but he shook his head slowly after that. "Nothing. I'm just glad to see everyone there. All of us. For a moment, I'm glad that everything's okay."

    "You're so corny sometimes." Kris laughed. He gave his dongsaeng a quick pat on the head before wishing him goodnight. There wasn't any raging storm outside that night, but Kris somehow found himself waking up to a small figure sleeping soundly in his arms the next morning. Sunlight slipped through the thin sunflower curtains hanging on their window. And little birds were resting on the sills, chirping noisily at each other. Kris tightened his arm around the sleeping figure instead of getting up, allowing himself to sleep for another half hour...... 

===XOXOXOXO===

     ....and when he woke up, he was lying on his bed alone. Sunlight streamed through the same window pane he saw every morning, but there were no birds resting on the sills. No dongsaeng lying in his arm either. His eyes felt puffy and swollen, and he couldn't remember the last time he woke up with such an awful morning breath. He got up from bed with a nasty headache throbbing at the back of his head, and when he checked his phone to see the time, it was already noon. With a date at the side. 18th January 2014.

    Kyungsoo wasn't home yet.