It was half an hour later when Lay entered the practice room. His face was unreadable as he held a piece of paper in his hand. He walked to the front of the room and stared at the door, waiting. A few seconds later Kai walked in, looking a mix between furious and depressed. His hair was still wet and hung a little in his eyes, but that worked in the boy’s advantage, blocking eye contact from everyone else in the room.

From the girls in the back Sehun heard some whispers of the boy being a snitch, but at the look on Kai’s face he knew that wasn’t it. Kai didn’t want to be here. Kai didn’t want Lay to intervene. He just wanted to be left alone. He wanted to forget what happened.

Lay went over to the speaker, eyeing Kai slightly as the paper was placed on top of the stereo. The boy lowered his head and then moved to the center of the room, his spot in the formation for practice. At the sight of Lay in front of the speaker the rest of the dancer’s filed in, Sehun directly in front of Kai. They looked at their teacher in question, but he silently stood in front of them and started doing choreography.

It was a simple movement, an elegant one. Lay’s left leg went to the side, he then followed it with the right, moving his hands over his head. He then spun back to his center while putting his arms down and repeated it to the right.

It took Kai, Sehun, Daeryong and Jackson a couple seconds to figure out what he was doing, a repeating pattern, and joined in, matching his movements almost flawlessly. CL and Minzy soon joined in together and then, slowly, the rest of the dancers did. They stared at their reflections in the mirror and felt a little shocked at the surreal feeling of the images and the eyes that looked back at them. They flowed together as one, not missing a beat, not changing anything to stand out or to look better than the rest.

“This is how we’re supposed to be.” Lay said the words softly as he moved, making eye contact with his students through the mirrors. “We’re supposed to be together. We’re a team.” Sehun saw Kai glare coldly but Lay didn’t catch it, his gaze on B-Bomb. “The world of dance is a vicious one, one where everybody is against everybody. Where you’re taught to strive for your own gain and to do whatever you can to progress on your own. But if you want to succeed here, you have to change that mindset.” Lay motioned to his dancers to continue while he turned around to look at everyone, his features soft and relaxed, though his eyes looked a little pained.

“Through the showcase that’s coming up this spring, some of you may be picked up by dance companies, some of you may not. You have to be prepared for that. Just because you get a solo doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to make it. Just because you don’t have a solo doesn’t mean you won’t make it.”

Lay’s expression turned nostalgic as he gazed that those he’s gotten close to, maybe not all of them, yet, but most. He plans on creating a bond stronger than blood between them all, for what runs through their veins is the spirit of a dancer. A spirit that longs to create and express.

“If you do make it in the real world, you’ll have brothers and sisters to cheer you on as your life takes a different path. If you don’t, those same brothers and sisters will be here to pat you on the back and help you improve so that one day your dream will come true.” Lay slowly walked over to the stereo and stopped the music, looking those he’s seen 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, some even more when they’d practice overtime.

The bodies that were gracefully moving side-to-side stopped and turned to look towards Lay. Hearing this from their teacher wasn’t something they expected, but something they needed to hear. They nodded at the information and Lay smiled, breaking the tension, though his eyes lingered a second longer on Kai.

“You guys are making this decision so hard.” He let out a small laugh and the dancers smiled as well, glad for the praise, though their nerves kicked into high gear. He’s going to reveal the list. The list. But then Lay continued. “So hard, in fact, that I’ve changed the layout of the spring showcase.” Those who were crouching stood immediately, looking at him with question. Change? What is he changing?

“Instead of there being a single group of the sixteen of you with two soloists, there will be two groups, eight each, with two soloists each.”

The room spun a little around Sehun and he excused himself for a moment to grab his water bottle out of his bag, taking a drink. Four soloists? Four? He saw Daeryong and Soryong high fiving each other and Jackson and BamBam grinning widely.

“The beginning will start with the two groups as one, with only two soloists. But then the group will split in half and there will be two soloists per group. At the end there will be an encore at the end where the two groups will converge with the four soloists.”

“Don’t relax too much, though.” Lay looked pleased with his decision and loved the confidence that his dancers had. “This will be the only time such… opportunities will be allotted.”

Four. Four soloists. Their chances were doubled and that made energy course through the dancers’ veins. Lay walked over to the stereo and picked up the piece of paper he had placed earlier. The list? That was the list?

The paper was folded neatly into three and Lay undid the folds, smoothing the creases gently and then walking over to the front mirrors.

“The moment you’ve been working and waiting for.” Lay took one of the various magnets off the mirror and stuck the list up, looking at his dancers one last time before leaving the room.
There would be no negotiations about the list. It was final.

The dancers all stood frozen for a minute, their hearts racing. Though it only took one to start a stampede.

BamBam rushed forward from the back, his small form fitting between everyone easily. Once he made it to the front, everyone else followed, pushing the youngest  forward the rest of the way in their anticipation.

Sehun found himself in the back of the group with Jackson, Kai, and Ken. Jackson went on his toes to try to see the list over the others’ heads, and Ken kept his gaze on the back of Leo’s head as the dancers moved out of his way. Leo was to scope out the list and then report back to Ken. He easily moved through the crowd, his threatening demeanor making them shy back.

“Jackson!” BamBam’s voice squealed through the crowd, his small form not visible past the layers of impatient dancers. “Oh, my God! Jackson!”

“Bam?” Jackson started to push through the crowd, but instead was met with the Thai boy as he shot out, wrapping his arms around his neck.

“You’re a soloist!” BamBam pulled back and grinned at Jackson, “You got it!” Sehun grinned at the two but the nerves in the pit of his stomach where still there. He sat back to wait for the crowd to dissipate, but it didn’t. The small cheers, congratulations, and whines were now silenced.

“Who else got the solos?” Jackson asked BamBam, oblivious to the surreal quiet in front of them.

“I’m not sure, I didn’t really look that well…” The younger turned to check the list again, but at the same time Daeryong had pushed his way through the crowd. His face was a mask of anger and Jackson pulled BamBam behind himself, not sure who the anger was directed at.

“I am not soloing with you.” Daeryong let out the growl and Jackson looked at him in question before seeing the twin’s gaze go past him, over his shoulder. Sehun looked back behind the Chinese boy and felt his eyes widen. Daeryong was speaking to Kai. The boy’s face was white as a sheet as he looked at his solo partner and he turned around immediately, not even checking the list before leaving the room.

“Daeryong!” Soryong came out of the crowd to talk to his brother, but he left soon after, his face red and mouth screwed into a scowl.

Kai soloed. He really did.

So did Jackson.

And Daeryong.

There’s one more spot left.

Sehun swallowed hard and started walking through the people, the dancers finally moving from the list. Every step make Sehun’s heart beat faster, made his stomach twist harder. He felt like the rest of his life rode on his name being in bold on that list, indicating those who were soloing. He yearned for the chance to prove himself as a dancer. To show everyone that he worked hard, just like everyone else and that making it as a dancer was the only thing that mattered to him.

He ached to feel the heat of a spotlight against his skin as he’d floated across the stage. As he’d let the music and audience take control of him. Missed channeling his past and troubles and struggles into something good, something constructive, something beautiful for others to see. To let them feel his pain, to move on from the pain with the audience. To be healed.

Sehun closed his eyes as he took the last few steps, the others now completed cleared out of the room, save Jackson, BamBam, Ukwon, and Baro. Sehun opened his eyes and looked at the names on the list.

Sehun’s world crashed around him. The text of his name was plain, lust like the other twelve that didn’t get solos. He lost his chance. That showcase was the most important—it was Lay’s first showcase as a choreographer and teacher. It was going to have the most buzz, the most opportunities present for the future.

Sehun felt his eyes burn a little but he it up. There’ll be more chances. There has to be. There will be. He just has to wait, work, and fight for them.

“Hey, Hunnie!” Sehun blinked hard once before turning to look at BamBam. The younger had a big smile on his face—he didn’t solo either, but he was too happy for Jackson’s good fortune to care.

The Chinese soloist stepped forward, throwing his arm around BamBam’s shoulders, “P-A-R-T-Why~?” he sang the last word out, raising his free arm in the air.

“’Cause I gotta!” Sehun cheered, pumping the air once before letting out a laugh. The air leaving his lungs in that laugh seemed to take some of the weight off of his shoulders and he let Baro and Ukwon pull him from the practice room.

He should be happy for Jackson and be glad that he even had a chance to be at the conservatory. It wasn’t his time, and he shouldn’t burden others with his sadness because one thing didn’t go his way this cycle. There’ll be more chances. He just had to wait.

He was at the door when a thought flashed through his mind. He can’t go out drinking, not again. Sehun stopped and Baro looked back at him in question.

“Do you remember what happened last time I went to a club?”

Baro then looked at him like he was stupid, “Uh, yeah?” Ukwon rolled his eyes and snorted, tugging Sehun through the door.
But instead of going towards the exit of the building, they went into the large kitchen.

“Pork belly!” BamBam trotted up to the fridge where CNU was, peering into it. “Oops!” He ducked under CNU’s arm as the sullen brunette held the door open and grabbed the package of meat, sliding back out and displaying it to the starving dancers.

“Ready?” He asked, a wicked smile on his face. Sehun was a bit confused—it was just pork?

But then Jackson cheered, “Come on boys!” And the three of them sprung forward, leaving Sehun to stare at the spectacle.

CNU, though, grabbed an apple from the fridge and left without another word, the results of the list damaging his pride. Sehun watched him leave with a sad smile before turning back to the crazy dancers. He couldn’t believe what he saw.

BamBam was swinging a fry pan around and rapping in Thai while Baro was trying to beat-box, Jackson dancing behind them. Ukwon was fiddling with a cord that connected to a small speaker on the dining room table, shaking his a little to the rap as he tried to plug his phone into the device.

Insane. They’re all insane. But then Sehun grinned, aren’t we all?

He jumped in and started dancing next to Jackson, his face pulled into a smile. Ukwon got the speaker to work and NoNoNo by Apink started playing loudly. BamBam hastily put down the pan and the five of them jumped into action, synchronizing themselves with the song and dancing it almost perfectly, shaking their butts and fingers with enthusiasm.

Sehun missed a step and then started laughing as he looked over at the other boys. Great. They were all great. The others stopped dancing as well, pushing Jackson to the front.

“Jack-son! Jack-son!” They cheered, ushering him to continue alone, the only soloist of the five of them. Jackson yelled and then jumped on the island that was in the middle of the kitchen, his head a few inches from the ceiling as he started free styling to NoNoNo, blowing everyone away.

“Woooo!” BamBam yelled and danced his way to the oven, starting the pork as absentmindedly danced to the beat of the song. Jackson stylishly flipped off of the island and struck a pose on the ground, a wicked grin on his face.

“And this is why you’re a soloist!” Baro cheered, clapping to taller boy on the back.

Sehun clapped at Jackson’s performance but couldn’t stop the jab of jealously that hit him. Jackson was a great dancer, but Sehun couldn’t ignore his opinion that he was better. It nagged the back of his mind and he thought of the possible reasons for him not getting a solo, but the only thing he could think of was the bar incident. Does Lay think that Sehun would make him look bad if he soloed? Maybe he was afraid that Sehun would disgrace the conservatory?

Sehun shook the thoughts off and started shuffling around the kitchen, going into the cupboard and getting a bag of rice. It was times like this that he wished he knew what was going on in his teacher’s head.

Lay sat back in his office chair and looked at his laptop, the list displayed on the screen. He wasn’t necessarily completely happy with it. But he couldn’t change it. Not now anyway. But his eyes lingered on one name.

Kim Jongin.

Lay tried to figure out the boy. He really did. But nothing made sense with him. How could he be so bitter? Why?

Lay rolled over to a small filing cabinet and pulled out the dancers file. He was the best dancer—there was no getting around it. But he needed to trust the other dancers, to befriend them. He needed to open up, break down his walls. Lay spread the file out on his desk and tried to find anything different. He noted his dance training and saw a phone number next to the instructor’s name. Upon asking Kai of his previous teacher he said that it was his aunt, he also said that he’d lived with his aunt for the past few years.

Lay took his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed the number, looking out the window at the dreary sky as it rang.

“Hello?” A formal voice came from the receiver and Lay stood up.

“Ah, hello, Ms. Kim? This is Mr. Zhang, the choreographer at the conservatory your nephew is attending?”

“Oh, Lay, yes!” The woman’s voice brightened considerably, “Jongin has told me so much about you! How is he doing? Better, I hope?”

Better?

“He’s definitely having troubles…” Lay started, surprised that Kai had told his aunt about him.

“Social, correct?” A sigh hummed from the other end of the phone. “Dancing was never Jongin’s problem, you see. He used to be a wonderful kid as well. He had so many friends… but after what happened to my nieces—”

“Wait, excuse me? What happened?” Lay started pacing, biting his lip. So he wasn’t always how he is now…

“Oh, dear… He hasn’t told you, has he?” Lay held his breath, hoping that she’d explain it. “Sorry, but I don’t feel right talking about it without Jongin’s knowledge. He’d be best to tell you himself when he’s ready.” Lay nodded his head in defeat, feeling a headache form at the front of his head.

“I understand, Ms. Kim. But can you tell me if there is anything I can do to help Ka—Jongin—overcome his social problems. He’s being very isolated and it’s affecting everyone, really.”

Kai’s aunt made a small humming noise as she thought for a moment, “Well, you could find his best friend. He shouldn’t live too far from where you are, actually. He’s attending college, you see, and he’s a lovely boy—the two, him and Jongin, grew up together—He’s going to be a singer, I think he said, I’ll have to call him and ask, catch up, you know? But anyways he’s absolutely lovely, an angel—”

“Uh, Ms. Kim?” Lay felt bad cutting the woman off, but he felt that she could talk for days if he’d let her, “Can I have his name and the name of the college he attends, please?” Lay felt a flicker of hope.

He can help Kai break down his walls. He can save Kai and his dance career, because if Kai doesn’t overcome his social problems, then there’s no place in the world of dance for someone who can’t cooperate and work with other dancers.

Lay listened to the women rattle off a name and the address of the college and scribbled it down on the top of Kai’s file, nodding with a smile. This boy could be the answer to all of Kai’s problems. If not…

Then he’ll have to take more drastic measures. Make one more call.

That’s the last resort, though. 

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