“I want to talk to you today, I strongly promise myself. Should I confess to you? I hesitate hundreds of times.”

Choi Junhong was a mess. He knew he was, even to the point that he told his band members so on numerous occasions. He was such a mess when it came to her and he didn’t know what to do. He remembered when he first realized he liked you. He had known you for over a year now and had been crushing on you for eight months and two days. Call him creepy but Junhong remember the exact moment he fell for you. When the company had introduced you as the new potential lead choreographer,  the older ones had been shocked. Junhong on the other hand was mesmerized. He knew that with the industry debuting idols at young ages, such as he had been, that it was just a matter of time before other young talents were discovered. You were nervous but Junhong had found it so cute. He never found out if he was older or not, because you never gave them your age and when asked you would always respond, ‘old enough’. Although he was curious, it never mattered to him. You were you and that is all he wanted you to be. One lovely Tuesday will always stand out above the rest. You had been in the practice room, working on some recent choreography for them. Sweat was dripping from your brow and your hair was damp, sticking to your forehead. You were dressed in a tank top and sweats rolled up to your knees, your blue sneakers squeaking against the floor. Their music blared out of the speakers as you your lips, your gaze fixed on the mirror, searching for any mistake. He had always thought you were attractive but you never been prettier than you were in that moment to him. To this day, he could still remember his heart beating out of his chest and how dry his mouth had gotten. He wanted nothing more but to walk up to you and pull you into his arms, but he couldn’t do that at the time. And here he was, eight months later and almost positive that he loved you. He just had to get up the courage to confess. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried. He couldn’t count on one hand the times he came to the practice room, heart on his sleeve and flowers in his hand, but as soon as he saw you, he’d get nervous and chicken out. Junhong sighed, walking down the hallway of the company after another failed attempt at confessing, a rose in his head as he made his way into their practice room. He threw the flower away and stood in the middle of the room before going to the stereo and turning the iPod on. ‘Lovesick’ came on and he began wandering around the room lazily, his mind running with thoughts of you.

“Without you, you’re my lovesick, because you’re not here, I’m…” He sighed, looking down at his hands, wanting to hold yours in his, to hold you to his chest. As the song went on he couldn’t help but smile at the memories that popped up.

I get nervous if I don’t see you for a single day

I can’t hide my shy face

At the thought of meeting you, I get dressed up.

A nervous Junhong smiled as he checked himself in the mirror, straightening his tie and brushing the wrinkles from his jacket. He nodded to himself, whispering a small ‘hwaiting’ before leaving the bathroom, going to the practice room where he knew you were at. He reached the door and saw the older hyungs, dressed in basketball shorts and tshirts, talking to you, laughing at something you said. His eyes widened, biting his lip as he thought how silly he must have looked compared to everyone’s laid-back look. He sighed, losing the confidence to speak up and just walking in, smiling weakly at the others as the looked at him in question.

“Are you all ready?” your voice came over his thoughts and he looked up as you walked over, patting his shoulder gently, “You look nice. There a reason you’re all dressed up?” It was the opening he was looking for. All he had to say was ‘For you’ or ‘I like you,’ but nothing came out. Your shampoo wafted over to him and he felt his mind go blank and he couldn’t think of any words so he just shook his head. You smiled before shrugging and leaving his side, returning back to work.

I get fevers and get frustrated

Do you know how I feel? I’m going crazy

He felt his heart thud as he saw you standing there with Daehyun, laughing and smiling beautiful. Daehyun had his arm around your shoulder and Junhong didn’t like it. He was supposed to be by your side, not Daehyun. He liked you more. You were supposed to be his, not Daehyun’s. His stomach hurt and he felt chilled. His temper rose as he let out a huff of air and turned away, stomping out of the room, not noticing your eyes on him as he left, filled with worry.

Junhong was so caught in his thoughts that he didn’t see you walk in. Didn’t see you notice him there and smiled as you leaned against the frame of the door. You watched as he had a gloomy look on his face, wandering around the room absentmindedly.

“Zelo?” you spoke up, your arms crossed over your chest, a small laugh making its way to your lips as you saw him freeze up and turn towards you quickly, almost falling over in his haste, “You okay?”

“I-I’m fine!” he yelled out, his eyes widening as he saw you and quickly avoided your eyes. You watched him for a few seconds before looking around, seeing a single rose in the trashcan. You had been having a few thoughts lately about him possibly liking you. It was no secret to the others that you cared very deeply for Junhong, but he just didn’t see that. When you saw him standing outside the door one time, looking to the ground and mumbling to himself with a bouquet of flowers before turning around and leaving, looking upset, you had decided to ask the members if he felt the same. They never gave a straight answer, but the looks on their faces gave it away. You had felt happiness fill your heart and you wanted to rush to Junhong and confess right away, but when you had remembered the look on his face, you had wanted him to grow the courage to confess first. But, you were an impatient girl, and you could only wait so long to be held in his arms. You chuckled softly, shaking your head before walking over and grabbing the rose, going over to him.

“Who was this for?” you asked softly, smelling the rose as you looked over at him. He grew red and began sputtering words before taking a deep breath.

“N-No one…” he replied, chewing on his bottom lip as he watched you hold the rose he had gotten for you. You sighed, walking closer until you were standing right in front of him. You were shorter than Junhong, so you had to look up at him. You smiled, snaking your hand around his neck, resting it against the nape. His eyes widened as he looked down at you in shock, “_-_____?”

“You’re so lovesick,” you smiled, pulling his lips down to meet yours, closing your eyes and wrapping your other arm around his neck. You felt his arms snake around your waist, pulling you against his chest as he returned the kiss.

Junhong couldn’t believe it, the woman of his dreams loved him back?

Choi Junhong was a mess, but he was your mess and you were his.

It hurts so much that I can’t hold it in
I will tell you
I love you