“Words I held in and couldn’t say, I want to shout them loudly.”

He was in love. Youngjae was sure of it; actually, he was absolutely positive that he loved you after all these years. You were perfect in his eyes and someone that he would never give up. Whenever the two of you were apart, he’d feel this pain in his chest, one that was only gone when you were back in his arms. You were always on his mind and in his heart. He didn’t think there wasn’t a moment when you weren’t in his thoughts. It was rather funny, really. Youngjae always was the brain of the group, the smart one, the calm one, but when it came to you, everything he was previously was thrown out the window. He always thought he would be level headed once he got into a relationship, that he could be with someone, but not go crazy without them. He was always patient but when it came to you, he felt himself crave for you to be there with him. He had become the sap that he always swore he would never be, but he was definitely not complaining. Being in love was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him. He felt so alive with you in his life and while being away from you hurt really bad, knowing he was singing and making you proud was even better. He began working extra hard with his future in his mind. You were going to be Mrs. Yoo Youngjae and he needed to save up for a ring and a house, he needed to save up for your future. He could see the two of you having children and growing old together and he couldn’t wait for it to happen.

Youngjae sighed and placed his hand over his heart, pressing his chest as if it would make the longing go away. He hated being so close but far away from you like this; it always made him feel like he couldn’t breath. He watched you from across the room, absentmindedly signing the album that lay before him, sending the fan a smile as he bowed slightly, his eyes immediately wandering back to you. You were towards the end of the line, waiting for the boys to sign your album. He had told you that you didn’t have to wait in line, that you could get all the boys to sign it later, but you insisted, saying that you wanted to wait in line and earn those signatures. You smiled as you saw him watching you again, flushing and looking away, watching, as the line grew shorter and shorter. You finally reached Yongguk and waved slightly, grinning and telling him your name, playing along with him for the sake of remaining quiet. You and Youngjae have been dating for over four years now, but you were still a secret, to protect you and the boys. You went through Himchan and Daehyun before you finally reached your boyfriend, holding back a giggle as he wrote a special secret message for you. You finished getting Jongup and Zelo to sign it before making your way out of the venue and back to your apartment, where Youngjae was going to come over later. You smiled and opened your album, looking at what the boy’s wrote.

“Take good care of our boy, ______. ~ Bang Yongguk”

“______, you know we could of done this without you waiting, silly! ~ Kim Himchan”

“Thank you for your support, ______! ~ Jung Daehyun”

“Jagiya, did you know you look even more beautiful today than you did yesterday? If you keep getting prettier, then I won’t be able to breath soon! Will you give me mouth-to-mouth?? ;D ~ Yoo Youngjae”

“Noona, why is Youngjae-hyung so greasy? He’s going to cause you a heart attack! ~ Moon Jongup”

“EWWWWWW! Are you two going to make kissy face later? That is disgusting, noona! Don’t get Youngjae-hyung’s germs on you! ~ Choi Junhong”

“Dorks,” You rolled your eyes, closing the album and putting it up, hearing a knock on the door and going to answer it. You smiled as you saw your boyfriend at the door, clad in black clothes and his hoodie pulled far over his head, hiding his face from the world. He came in, shutting the door behind him and taking his hood off, grabbing your face and kissing you gently. You smiled against his lips and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Hello to you too~”

“I missed you,” he said softly, pressing his forehead to yours before kissing you again.

“I’m going to get Youngjae-hyung’s germs~” he gave you a confused look before you muttered ‘Zelo’, to which he laughed and pulled you closer, trailing his lips down your neck.

“I really missed you, _______,” he said quietly, pulling you closer, “I wish we didn’t have to hide this anymore.”

“I know, baby,” you sobered quickly, kissing his cheek gently, “And one day, we will get to reveal it.”

“I want to take you out on a date without worrying about fans seeing us,” he continued, “I want to be able to say I love you in public and when people ask me what my ideal type is, I want to be able to point to you and say my ideal type is my beautiful and kind girlfriend. I don’t want to lie anymore.”

“Youngjae,” you took his hands, leading him to the couch, “I would love for nothing more than to be able to hold your hand in public and publicly call you mine, but now is not the time for that. I hate having to play hide-and-go-seek, but it’s what we must do for now, for B.A.P’s safety.”

“I know, sweetie, I’m just…” he sighed, kissing your hands, “I’m sorry, _____. I’m not here to ruin the night, okay? Let’s watch a movie and spend time together, okay?” You nod, letting him change the subject as you kissed his cheek gently, now with the task of getting his mind off of things.

 “Look at me, who is in pain. Hug me, who is in pain.”

Youngjae felt his heart drop as he read the recent article.

B.A.P’s Youngjae is in a relationship?!

Sources say that Youngjae was seen outside TS Entertainment’s building last week with a female. They were holding hands and they were dressed as if they were going on a secret date. When asked, most employees of TS denied that Youngjae was in a relationship but we did find someone, who will remain anonymous, that supplied us with information. Youngjae has apparently been dating this woman for four years, even before B.A.P debuted. When will TS answer the Babys call for information? Only time will tell.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, not this soon. They had been extra careful not to be seen around the building, but it still happened. He threw the paper down and ran out of the bedroom, into the dorm’s living room. He ran into Himchan who helped catch him before he could fall.

“What’s wrong, Youngjae?” He furrowed his brow in worry, looking at the younger as he breathed erratically.

“______… article… public…” he took a deep breath and shook his head, slipping on his shoes, running out the door. He needed to get to you; you needed him. You were the only thing on his mind at the moment and that fueled him to run faster than he ever had. His legs and chest ached by the time he got to your apartment and he knocked on your door rapidly. You opened the door to a red and out of breath Youngjae who quickly busted into your apartment, closing the door quickly and pulling you into his arms. “I’m so sorry, baby!”

“What’s wrong, Youngjae?” you asked, patting his back gently.

“I didn’t mean for it to get leaked! Don’t leave me, please!” you furrowed your brow and pulled away slightly.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, picking up the paper, “Is this about the article?” He nodded softly, looking pitiful, “Youngjae, I’m not mad, and this certainly isn’t anything to break up over.”

“It’s not?” he asked quietly, “I mean, we’ll have to eventually talk about it and that might be revealing everything.”

“Youngjae, I was with you before B.A.P, I’m with you during B.A.P, and I’ll be with you long after B.A.P disbands. I’m not going to break up with you because the big reveal was sooner than expected,” you kissed his lips gently, “I promise.”

“Hug me, please?” he opened his arms and you chuckled, walking into his embrace and hugging him tightly, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Yoo Youngjae,” you smiled, kissing him once again, “We should probably go to the company.” He nodded, grabbing your shoes from the shelf and handing them to you.

“I’m still sorry, baby,” he said, watching you, “It’s only going to cause problems and stress.”

“If it’s for you, anything is worth it. Problems, stress, sadness, and pain are all worth those moments of happiness, okay? Do not think they aren’t,” you slipped on your shoes, kissing him again before grabbing his hand and leading him into the newly aware world.