Hurt
The Black FearChapter 4
Mckenna POV: Hurt
After the thud due to Hillary’s fall, I sat watching for some minutes that disgusting and unforgivable scene.
From my eyes keep falling tears and, as those drops slid on my skin,
I felt the most intolerable regret I had ever felt.
What could be seen as madness was actually a huge violent outburst that I couldn’t control for just a moment, but it changed everything.
I felt so powerless that I couldn’t even find the strength to think about what just happened.
I would have never thought that killing was within my ability.
For sure I would be never able to accept it.
My life was going to change forever, marked so deeply that I could never forget.
It was over for me.
Lay’s voice, suddenly, became clearer and nearer.
I was suffering enough; I wasn’t going to reveal the truth about what had just happened.
I hid the bleeding body in a not too much deep pit, near a tree roots, and I covered her with leaves, trying in every way possible to conceal the corpse as better as I could.
I found it much more difficult that I had thought.
From that moment on, I would have to manage my best friend’s death,
hoping that no one ever found out my secret.
I heard his steps had got even more near, so much that he could see me without any problem.
“The hell! I was looking for you since ages! Why did you suddenly disappear? We were afraid that you might got hurt, since it’s past 10! Hopefully I found you! I saw you thanks to the fluorescent bracelet you are wearing! “He said with short breath and a bit shocked.
Right, that bracelet that Hyllary had given me as a present just two days before leaving.
She said she felt way more safe knowing I was wearing something showy.
She thought I wouldn’t get lost.
So she had said.
“Sorry, I’m really sorry. I’m coming right away.”
“Okay. But where’s Hyllary?”
I just wanted to tell him everything.
I just wanted to pour my heart out.
But it would have been a mistake that would make him suffer for the rest of his life.
“I don’t know. She was with me before, but she said she wanted to get back home no matter what. I tried to stop her, but she didn’t listen to me.”
“What? She’s gone?” he shouted angrily, his voice ringing out like a thunder.
“She’s scared.”
“Scared? No, it’s not like her at all! Come on…she has got till here and now she is going back? Well…thinking about it, she couldn’t have gone so far.
I can catch up with her shortly.” He said briefly and starting to walk towards a non-precise direction.
“Wait! You are gonna get lost inside there! And you don’t anything to survive!
I don’t want to lose someone else!”
“What kind of friend are you?! Aren’t you even a little bit concerned about her safety? Wouldn’t you do anything to save her? Wouldn’t you put your own life at risk?! ”
“Well…I”
“I would.” He asserted, leaving me speechless.
The regret of having killed my best friend kept on wearing me out. My heart, already broken, couldn’t bear the awareness of having killed an innocent and to have lost forever any chance with his beloved one.
Even though I didn’t have any desire to continue the conversation all I could think about was if he really loved her. So out of my curiosity I asked him, lowering my head:
“Do you love her?”
“Dou you really mind that much?”
“Yes.”
After saying it, I looked at his lips as he replied with a tender and sorry tone. Every word was spelled out clearly.
“I love her.”
The emptiness already spreading in me turned into an abyss, which would unluckily close up.
Hearing those words, not addressed to me,was even worse that having a knife ripping my body apart.
It was all true.
Foolishly I had followed my instinct, not reflecting on her personality before acting.
How could I have forgotten her due to an unrequited love?
I felt so utterly guilty.
She had never been good at telling lies, how could she have become in a situation like that?
I did not only end a life, hating her deeply, but I also crashed the heart of the one I love with all my might.
I didn’t have enough strength to tell him the truth and not only because I couldn’t still believe it, but also because Lay wasn’t ready to accept it nor me.
So, once again, I left it be.
“You are right. We have to look for her no matter what.”
“I’m happy you are saying so, but we must act now. There’s no time left for talking.”
I nodded silently; those were not words that could be opposed.
“When are we gonna start?”
“I don’t want to look for her at this hour. It’d be too dangerous. Tomorrow morning we’ll take the Jeep, since she would be already far away. We are going all together, this way we can split up and search a wider area. For the rest of the supplies we’ll see tomorrow.”
“Alright, sir.”
I shouted, trying to downplay the situation.
Lay stayed still for a moment, then he turned smiling lightly with the hope to see her again soon.
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