Another giant glass of beer came and Jessica thought Yuri had been more than a little tipsy.

She had to admit that it was a great night. Yuri had taken her to a club in the eastern side of the city, where things were actually happening, and introduced her to some of her friends which most were Yuri’s college friends. She also met Danny, Yuri’s boyfriend, who was a head taller than Yuri and appeared quite dandy.

“Oh, so do you know Yerim? Not very tall, wearing specs, probably still very loud. She’s in the same year as you,” Danny said in Korean excitedly when Jessica mentioned that she’s studying Business Management in Yonsei.

Yuri’s friends were funny, just like the girl. Hyoyeon, one of the most memorable ones, had the craziest, most shameless dance moves one either be entertained or repulsed with. Not to mention that she had her hair in the color of the rainbows. She’s not one of Yuri’s college pals, but Hyoyeon said they met in a charity event Yuri and her friends organized at school where Hyoyeon was one of the performers. Contemporary dance that was – something Jessica didn’t understand but nodded to anyway.

Sooyoung, the other one, had a short hair and wore glasses. She’s Yuri’s closest friend in college and was described repeatedly as a ‘live saver’. 

Later, when the energy level had depleted, the remaining people of the group, Yuri, Danny, Hyoyeon, Sooyoung, and Jessica, decided to move to a less taxing place. They headed to a bar just down the block where they could fill the booth in the corner of the room and listen to Michael Buble singing Home from the speakers.

They were in the middle of their talk about the new place to eat in the town, the one people were spazzing about on the internet, when Sooyoung suddenly mentioned Yuri’s roommate.

“So, how’s Taeyeon these days?”

Yuri, leaning on Danny’s arm, yawned before answering. “You know, the usual Taeyeon. She’s been a bit better but – I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. Sometimes she looks okay, sometimes she’s not.”

“Why didn’t she show up tonight?”

“She said she’s got headache,” said Jessica. She pictured Taeyeon in her head, clad in her PJ’s pants and long sleeves, sitting on the living room couch, watching some trashy tv show and saying that she’s not feeling that well that evening.

While Jessica suddenly felt worried, Yuri immediately shoved her outside and said that Taeyeon would be okay. Later in the car, she told Jessica that it was just Taeyeon’s excuse to stay home. She was always like that.

Yuri wasn’t lying though when she said that Taeyeon had been better. When Jessica first arrived in SF almost a week ago, Taeyeon seemed quite fine in her eyes. She’s quiet – but that’s just Taeyeon. Thank God she’s not looking depressed – like Yuri would always told Jessica before- and was actually very functional as a human being.

Sometimes Jessica thought Yuri was exaggerating. But she couldn’t say she didn’t believe the girl since Jessica also knew well Taeyeon’s nature. The eldest of them three had been having issues since high school. And with the amount of pressure and problems she had, Jessica wasn’t surprised that it affected the girl so badly.

Taeyeon, in a way, was like a bomb waiting to explode. Except that she had also exploded a few times before.

In the recent days Jessica had been staying with her cousin and the roommate, she had been walking on eggshells around Taeyeon. So far, she didn’t seem to mind that Jessica was living with them. Jessica knew Yuri told her that Jessica was coming only a few days before her arrival and maybe it was actually too late even if Taeyeon had the slightest intention to forbid her from coming. Though Yuri who had known the real reason of her being there said she shouldn’t really think about it. Taeyeon just had to it up.

Frankly speaking, Jessica could have rent a place on her own. But when Yuri insisted, she knew she couldn’t say no. Other than that, she wouldn’t be lonely with some company. Yuri might be busy on weekdays as she’s still having one or two classes, but Taeyeon was free almost all the time, even if the company she offered was just her mere presence.

Taeyeon wasn’t completely useless though. She had helped organizing Jessica’s stuff and took her around the neighborhood in the afternoon, as far as explained the public transportation system and did the grocery shopping. During those times, Jessica would usually try to catch up with her.

She would tell Taeyeon her school life in Korea – she’s on the fifth semester – and her current hobbies –photography and writing. She avoided the family topic as much as possible and opted to talk about their old friends in high school instead.

Taeyeon had asked her what she wanted to do while she’s there and Jessica told her that she’s thinking of doing a lot of photography and trying to set up a personal blog. She’s also planning to go on trips and maybe look for some friends to go with.

“And you? Anything you want to do these days?” Jessica asked Taeyeon.

“I’ve been thinking – maybe, maybe I should find a job.”

“That’s nice.”

Taeyeon only shrugged and Jessica threw her arm around the girl’s shoulder.

Taeyeon felt smaller, Jessica concluded. Her frame was always small, but this time she looked even more tiny and, somehow, fragile. Her baby faced features had seemed to fade, replaced by sunken cheeks and dry lips. She’s still pretty nevertheless. Just not as glowing as she could be.

At that moment, as they ambled through the streets of San Francisco, Jessica assured herself that it wasn’t a wrong choice coming there.

*

Yuri kept giggling and belting some trot songs as Danny and Jessica dragged her up to their unit. It’s a little bit after two in the morning and Jessica wanted nothing else to do but sleep.

“I loveee you, Danny babe… You know that right? We… we should adopt a puppy,” Yuri uttered, barely consciously and coherently, and Danny only rolled her eyes as Jessica smiled, mildly amused.

“What?” Danny asked when he saw Jessica stopped as soon as she inserted the key to the door lock.

“It’s not locked,” replied Jessica, biting her bottom lip as she turned at Danny.

“Maybe Taeyeon forgot to lock up,” Danny suggested. “Can you please hurry? We need to drop this drunken as soon as possible on her bed.”

Snorting, Jessica swung the door open.

The apartment was dark, as expected. Carefully, Danny carried Yuri on his back and headed to her bedroom, Jessica in tow.

But they instantly halted when they saw the lights from the kitchen. Signaling Danny to just continue to Yuri’s bedroom, Jessica walked to the source of light and softly called,”Taeyeon?”

Stepping into the room, instead of Taeyeon, for the first time in her life Jessica met Tiffany.

*

It was supposed to be a quiet night. Taeyeon had dodged another invitation from Yuri to spend the evening in some random club in the downtown and all she wanted to do was lounging in the living room to eventually fall asleep while watching DVD.

She had ordered Chinese - sour and sweet pork - and prepared her favorite wine. She had promised Yuri not to drink, of course, but what’s the harm in a glass of pinot noir, right? She had even turned off all the lamps, just in case she fell asleep later, relying at the bright screen of the television as the source of light.

She’s halfway through Saving Private Ryan when her phone rang and she froze for a moment when she recognized the ringtone.

“I need to talk to you.”

It wasn’t even a request and Taeyeon should’ve known better to not open the door. Yuri would be mad at her, and more than anything, Taeyeon was also mad at herself.

“How are you?”

Taeyeon didn’t answer that. She didn’t even move a muscle when Tiffany kissed her, desperately, as her hands clung to Taeyeon’s t-shirt. And when both their gazes met, Taeyeon had cried.

It’s stupid. Taeyeon wanted to scream, to lash out at Tiffany. To tell her to off and mind her own business. She hadn’t seen Tiffany for three months and she hoped she wouldn’t see her anymore.

But yes, it’s stupid because as much as Taeyeon wanted to, she didn’t want to. It’s strange and nothing short of torturing.

“Taeyeon, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

“Why are you here?”

“I want to see you. I want to say sorry. I want to… I want…”

“For what?”

“For leaving… For not telling you…”

“Go away.”

“Taeyeon, listen…”

“Go away!”

It was crazy – how Tiffany could calm her down even when she’s so angry she’s going insane. At first Taeyeon resisted. She screamed, she pushed, she cried. She told Tiffany to go to hell, but in the end she gave in, wrapped in Tiffany’s arms.

“I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry…” Tiffany cooed, sobbing.

There’s no use of sorry, Taeyeon wanted to say. She didn’t even know what to do with Tiffany anymore.

All of her feelings she had tried to put aside now swept back in, overwhelming her with emotions she wasn’t sure what came first. And when Tiffany kissed her again, she kissed back.

They didn’t talk. Strange, considering Tiffany said how she wanted to talk. They ended up making out on the couch, and Tiffany almost succeeded in undressing Taeyeon if only Taeyeon stopped crying. Then they stayed on the couch, in the dark, with the tv turned off, with Tiffany saying ‘sorry’ and peppering her with kisses once in a while.

Taeyeon could only think again after a few hours of lying side by side with Tiffany, nearly fell asleep, and the first thing she did was removing herself from the girl and darted to the kitchen where she sought a bottle of cold water to wake her up. As soon as she finished gulping her water, Tiffany was already there, sitting on one of the stools, eyes were as red and puffed as Taeyeon’s.

“I missed you.”

Leaning on the counter, Taeyeon  kept mum.

“Taeyeon, please say something,” Tiffany pleaded.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Do you forgive me?”

“Do you think I would? You’re just gone. And now you say you’re sorry. I don’t even know what happened, where you went and why and now you… you….” Taeyeon’s voice faltered.

“It’s complicated for me, okay? I needed time to think. I went to home to Korea.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I didn’t tell anyone and I needed to get away from you for awhile. It’s hard, Taeyeon.”

“I don’t know, Fany… I…”

“I will explain.”

“I don’t need your explanation.”

“Tae…”

“Fany…” Taeyeon took a deep breath, steadying her voice. “Please go and never come back.”

*

Jessica had heard Tiffany’s name countless of times from Yuri. She had also seen her from the pictures Yuri showed her.

Charming smile, kissable lips, and captivating eyes. Her hair color changed from time to time, and now it’s jet black. She’s always all smiley in her pictures and exuded some kind of mature confidence.

One thing though; Yuri resented her. So badly that Yuri once said that if not for Taeyeon she might have murdered her.

But right now, as Jessica faced the figure she had been curious about, she could only stand there, motionlessly, unsure of what to do. Apparently it’s not a proper time to do some first impression.

“Taeyeon?” she managed to call after a moment. The said girl wasn’t looking at anyone while gripping an empty glass.

Tiffany, in a denim shirt and jeans, only casted Jessica a look before wiping her face and then stood up from her seat.

“Jessica, I… oh hi Taeyeon… Tiffany?” Danny was trapped in the same awkwardness as he saw the people in the room. He briefly gave Jessica a look then scurried away.

But before Danny could go further, Tiffany had walked ahead of him, without a word leaving the room – and the apartment. Her steps were heard in the silent apartment, going faintly before disappeared completely after the click of the front door.

The moment Tiffany was gone, Taeyeon fell to the floor and bawled.

TBC

A/N : soooooo tell me what you think :D