"Yah! Kim Taeyeon! What is the meaning of this" I shoved the packet of sunflower seeds into her face

"Sunflower seeds.." she looked up (well not really since I wasn’t that tall) to me with those big round eyes of hers.

"What are you giving them to me for! To eat? I'm not a hamster you know?!"

We had been fighting for the past few weeks. And finally today she showed up. She showed up..

On most circumstances her showing up at my doorstep would probably have ended the fight there and then, and we would be on our way to the beach or the movies or something, but today was different.

Today she showed up with a packet of sunflower seeds.
I mean who the heck shows up after a fight with seeds?
I really wanted to throw her out of my house. Trust me I would have if I had the strength.

I took the packet of seeds out of her hands and instead of saying thanks I took it and threw it away.

She was looking at me with that pitiful face of hers again.
I could bear no more.

“Out.”

“…”

“Get out NOW.”

“But..”

“WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND GET OUT?” I was pushing her away from my doorstep, and turned around to get back into my house.

“Fany wait..” I could feel her reaching out to grab me.
I slammed the door in her face.

“Fany-ah I just wanted to tell you….”
The rest of her sentence faded away into inaudible words as I went up to my room.

--- --- ---

It has been an hour since I slammed the door in her face.
She was still downstairs, downstairs waiting for me.
She looked up and saw me.
I shut the curtains as easily. It was painless.
I was glad. But deep down I knew I was hurting.

--- --- ---

When I woke up the next morning she was still there.
‘Jeez she really wont leave would she?’ I thought to myself as I stormed down the stairs to give her a piece of my mind again.

I looked out of the peep hole in the door before I opened it she wasn’t there anymore. Instead she was at some secluded corner of my lawn doing something before she got up and left. Of course not forgetting to throw one last glance at my house before leaving.

--- --- --- 

It has been weeks since I last saw her at my house.
No calls no messages, nothing.
I hated to say it but I was staring to worry.
But I held myself back I know she would be here soon.

--- --- ---

Another two weeks had passed it has been one month since I saw her.
I am worried sick about her.
We haven’t broken up yet..
I must have really hurt her that time.
Taeyeon-ahh where are you?

--- --- ---

It had been one month and two weeks since our last encounter.
I was going mad.
I had to see her. I had to know how she was doing.
I made my way over to her house.

*knock knock*

She better be at home and not out with some other girl or guy.

I heard some shuffling behind the door.
She was coming.
I checked myself one last time in my mirror.
I had to look presentable.

She was at the door.
My heart was pounding inside my chest.
She twisted the doorknob.
Every second seemed like an hour.
I was going to see her again.
The door finally opened.

“Taeyeon-ahh!” I squealed and hugged her.

“I missed you. Where have you been? I’m so sorry for being a jerk that day. Please forgive me.”
She felt different and smells different.
I could feel her body make slight jerking movements.
She was crying.

I didn’t know she was that sentimental.

“Tiffany.” A weak voice called me.
It wasn’t Taeyeon.

She pulled away from me.
I saw her face.
It was Taeyeon’s mom.

“Omma why you crying?”
I call her Omma cause she has been like my own mom ever since I met Taeyeon.

“You don’t know what happened?” she was looking at me with shocked eyes

“No”

“Nobody told you?”

I shook my head. I was starting to worry. A lot.

“Come in” she got me settled on their sofa and brought me a cup of tea.

“So what happened why are you crying?” I simply asked trying to hide the worry from my voice.

“Taeyeon.” She started to cry again. I placed my hands around her shoulder comforting her.

Something bad must have happened but I dare not think about it.

“Our dear taeyeon.” She was crying I was crying too.

“Taeyeon.. S-she is gone..”

“What?” I wasn’t understanding anything. Gone? To where? Another country? She migrated without telling me?

“She is dead. Our girl is gone for good.”

Taeyeon did not migrate, she was dead.
I didn’t even bother asking how.
The world stopped spinning.
My heart stopped beating. At that moment I became a lifeless shell.
I was another human that lives just because it was our instinct not because of love.

--- --- ---

The next thing I knew I was in a car.
In a car bringing me home.
The person beside me was talking but I was not listening.
I only heard the words, Taeyeon, letter, for you.
Before I felt the person place some thing in my hand.

I reached home and was approached by the person that helps me to mow my lawn.
He was also saying something but I wasn’t listening.
I just nodded lifelessly and went into my house.

In the house I went to the couch and stared at the letter in my hands before opening it. It was dated at the day after I slammed the door in her face and addressed to me.
It wrote.


To my dear mushroom,
I just wanted to say I was sorry. Sorry for all the silly stuff that I have done that made you so mad at me. I’m sorry for bringing such a lousy present to meet you.

So now I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. How much you brighten up my day when I see you.

Your smile is just like the sun that would brighten up any day. So I thought of sunflower seeds.

Sunflowers always look so cheerful like you and so bright and full of life. I wanted to tell you how the sunflowers are like the love the both of us share. Always growing stronger and bigger each day.

I planted some at the corner of you lawn I hope you don’t mind.
I pray that when you see this letter we would be alright and I would be holding you hand walking down the beach.

Always loving you forever
Taeyeon



At the corner of my lawn.
The corner of my lawn!
I leapt up from my seat tears flowing uncontrollably down my face.
I had to stop that guy.

“STOP!” I shouted but he could not here me over that machine that was cutting the grass.
I ran over to him and tackled him to the ground.
I could see the anger in his eyes for me knocking him over.

He picked me up and shoved me across the side walk. Onto the road.
I saw a car coming at me.
I saved the sunflower. It was all that mattered.
Taeyeon was gone there was nothing to live for.
Hopefully I would see her on the other side.
Taeyeon-ah I love you too I’m sorry.
Wait for me I’m coming.

I closed my eyes.
I surrendered to fate.

I love you.



-----End-----

Notes: posted on 2 Nov 2011 on my SSF. Not sure about you guys but idk since a long time ago I always Imagined Taeny to be rather tragic(?) somewhat. And yes this is way before Khunfany.