“Stephanie Hwang Miyoung, do you dare to explain me why didn’t you tell me the truth!?” I snapped at her really angry looking at her eyes. She stepped back.

 

“TaeTae...” that’s what she could only say, I guess I scared her, she was about to cry and for some reason I didn’t care at all, I wanted to see her crying, I wanted her to cry for all the times she had made me cry.

 

“You know what, don’t even try to say anything else, I’m tired” I knew I was being rude and harsh with her, so I started to walk away straight to our room.

 

“I didn’t know you were like this” I heard her whisper; I looked back at her and saw her sobbing.

 

Okay, I lied, I cared.

 

I couldn’t see her crying, it just made me sadder, it made me feel guilty, it broke my heart, even though it was already broken. I sighed and put my hand over her shoulder.

 

“Come on, you should go to rest” I tried to be gentle, but she just shook her head.

 

“Kim Taeyeon, you really confuse me!” she yelled at me.

 

Okay, that was it.

 

“I confuse you!? You have no idea how you confuse me! You have been confusing me for 10 freaking years!” she stared at me with her eyes wide open.

 

“You heard me!? 10 freaking years! 10 years of knowing each other, 10 years of being best friends, and you know what? I lied to you all these past 10 years” I had to tell her everything, it was now or never, she still didn’t say a single word. She wasn’t making eye contact.

 

“I have loved you more than a best friend should; I’m in love with you Stephanie Hwang Miyoung, yes, I have loved you from the first time I saw you. All of the skinship, compliments and flirting, the way you used to get jealous because someone else was close to me, the way you used to call me wife”

 

“The way you used to follow me everywhere, all the hugs and kisses you gave me, all the glances full of love... Do you think I wasn’t confused!?”

 

She started to cry more, then she managed to tell me the most beautiful words I have ever heard.

 

“I love you too Kim Taeyeon”

 

A small smiled appeared on my face.

 

“But...”

 

It instantly banished.

 

“Yeah I know, just like a friend, you really like him, don’t you?” I asked her before she could end her sentence, to be honest, I didn’t want to hear the rest.

 

She nodded slowly. I couldn’t contain all my feelings, finally, tears began to fall out of my eyes.

 

“Don’t cry TaeTae, please, don’t cry for me, I’m not worthy”

 

“It is already too late Miyoung, you know you have already done it before, and more than one time, you have made me cry for you for 10 years” I said weakly avoiding her eyes.

 

“Taeyeon, first of all, we are both girls, it’s wrong, and you know that I like him, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and it was so romantic, he looked so handsome, he was a gentleman, I couldn’t say no, he treats me so well, and the way he looks at me... he makes me feel loved”

 

I didn’t want to hear anything else, I just wanted to cover my ears, I didn’t want her to mention his name or anything related to him.

 

“Yes, I know you like him, you told me a long time ago and I also knew you two have been hanging out, but come one, does he treat you as well as I do!? Does he look at you the way I look at you!?”

 

I did it again, I lost my control

 

“I don’t make you feel loved, do I!?”

 

“Taeyeon, don’t get me wrong please, of course you do! But it is different”

 

“Pphany-ah, don’t; we’ll talk about this in another time... Actually, let’s forget about this” I didn’t want to keep arguing about this

 

“I will sleep on the couch” with that I walked away from her, I never thought this day would come, I entered to our room to grab my pyjamas, I saw Ginger sleeping on the bed and I noticed Prince looking at me, with a kind of worried eyes, as if he knew something was wrong.

 

I bent down to caress him “oh Prince... it’s seems like you have a new appa, your umma doesn’t love me the way I do”

 

I lay down on the couch, I grabbed my phone and opened Instagram, I saw a lot of people commenting, no, more like spamming my pictures writing things such as “no more Taeny”, “please be strong for us”, “RIP taeny”, everything was related to Nichkhun, Tiffany and my feelings for her.

 

But there was a lot of hateful comments towards Tiffany, even though I was so angry and sad, I couldn’t stand people hating her, it hurt me too, even the fans knew about my feelings, I made it too obvious, yet Tiffany was oblivious. I closed the app, not wanting to open it in a while, and decided to just shut my eyes and think for a moment.

 

Flashback

 

Earlier that day, Tiffany told me she would hang out with some friends, I told her it was okay, I didn’t have anything to do that day, I just wanted to relax, I watched TV for a while and fell asleep.

 

I didn’t know how many minutes had passed when I heard my phone rang so I answered it lazily.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Taeyeon! How are you feeling!? Did you see the news?”

 

It was Sooyoung and I didn’t know what she was talking about.

 

“No, what is it?”

 

“Tiffany and Nichkhun are official”

 

When I heard that I felt like my heart stopped, I didn’t answer immediately.

 

“Hey... Tae, are you still there?”

 

I was in shock, I took a deep breath, I had mixed feelings.

 

“I see, Sooyoung, do you mind if I call you later? I have a lot to think about”

 

“It’s okay Tae, but seriously, if you want to tell me something or want anything, you can count on me, stay strong, take care”

 

And the call ended, Sooyoung was the first person along with Sunny to know about my feelings for Tiffany, they have been supporting and helping me since the day I told them. I wanted to cry.

 

I decided to call Jessica, after a few seconds she answered

 

“Taeyeon?”

 

“Jessica, did you know about it?”

 

“About what?”

 

“Geez, you know what I am talking about”

 

“Oh... yes, I’m really sorry Taeyeon, I know how much you love her”

 

“Jessie, when did she tell you? And I want you to tell me the truth”

 

I knew if I listened to the story I would end in pain, but I had to.

 

“Okay Tae, please, don’t get mad, she told Yuri and I five days ago, right after he asked her, she looked so happy”

 

“Great, thank you for telling me Jessie, talk to you later”

 

“You’re welcome Tae, and you know, I’m here if you want anything, bye”

 

I didn’t know if I felt sad or angry, although Tiffany was the person I was in love with, she was my best friend, for some reason it made me feel like she didn’t trust me enough to tell me about it, I felt bad because she told Jessica and Yuri first.

 

She had told me about her crush on him and I listened to her, I even advised her not matter how much it hurt me.

 

End Flashback

 

So here is it, SNSD’s leader, crying because of love, crying because of her best friend, crying because she is madly in love with her.

 

What did he have that I didn’t? I had given Tiffany everything I could, I have given her all my love. I knew it was time to finally move on and let her go.

 

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Well, here is the first chapter, I know I'm bad at writing and please don't mind the errors.