chapter EIGHT.

It's after ten A.M by the time I finally force myself out of bed. It's so rare the house is quiet enough to sleep past dawn and I decided to take advantage of it and not set my alarm. Usually by about six-thirty either Minseok or Hyoyeon or both have been in here half a dozen times to see if I'm up yet. Since their at Yunho's for the whole weekend, it's quiet—almost too quiet. I pull on this hideous, old sweater I found at Jump! over my pyjamas. The sleeves are so long I have to roll them several times to even see the tips of my fingers. I pull my hair into a sloppy bun on top of my head as I walk downstairs.

Mom is sitting at the counter sipping from a mug with her calendar spread in front of her. She glances up and smiles at me as I walk into the kitchen, but then looks right back at her calendar, making a notation off to one side with a pencil. It's no mystery where I get my organization skills.

"How many?" I ask, pouring myself a mug from the coffeepot.

"Well," she says, without looking up. "Plus the four orders I just took off the voice mail, its two thousand one hundred and forty-eight flowers."

"Whoa," I say.

"Whoa indeed," she concludes. She frowns at her calendar. "It's going to be tight this year. I just don't have the cooler space I need."

"No luck with the expansion?"

She shakes her head. "They just won't budge. I mean, honestly. Jersey Mike's Subs doesn't need another dining room." She has been trying to get the sandwich shop next door to release their hold on space between them, but so far they won't.

"It's not the greatest location anyway," I say.

"I know, but the thought of finding another location and moving and..." she trails off, frowning at her calendar again. I take a sip of the coffee, grimacing at the taste. I forgot how strong my mother makes it. It seems like it just keeps getting stronger and stronger the longer we're in the busy season. By the time the June weddings finally end, I almost need a fork to drink it. My mother's cell rings. Just a normal ring, not the dog barking that Sehun just put on my phone to replace the bees. She puts the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

I open the fridge and peer in, trying to find something decent for breakfast. Something other than the acai juice my mother is currently hooked on. I push past a banana with too much brown and grab a quart of strawberries. I take them over to the sink and flip the faucet up to wash them. Nothing. I keep forgetting. The sink is still broken.

"Today?" my mother says into her phone. "Oh well, if that's the only—" I look over at her to see her looking at me. She glances back at her calendar and frowns again. "No, no. This afternoon will be fine." She clicks her phone closed.

"That was a plumber."

"And—"

"And they're willing to come take a look at it, but it has to be today."

I'm not sure why she's frowning at that information. It's been nearly a week without water in the kitchen. We've been making do with the downstairs bathroom, but even with the lid closed, there's something disturbing about putting the dish drainer on top of the toilet. "But, that's good right?" I asl. She bites her lower lip. "Oh," I say. "Someone needs to be here to meet the plumber."

"Soo Rin, I'm so sorry," Mom says. "I know I've been asking so much of you. I mean, with Mrs. Jo out sick and unable to babysit and with Valentine's Day right around the corner—"

I hold up my hand. "It' okay," I say. "I didn't have any plans." I feel my pulse start racing as I say it.

"Really?" She asks.

I nod, not trusting my voice to the lie. My palms get clammy and I can feel my cheeks start to get pink. "Well," I say, before any more symptoms hit, "nothing I can't change."

My mother gets up from where she it sitting and comes around the counter. "Thank you, Soo Rin," she says. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

"I'll make a list," I say, smiling. She gives me a hug before closing her calendar and heading up the stairs. I dig out my cell phone and dail Changmin's. I tuck the phone between my shoulder and ear as I walk toward the bathroom with the container of strawberries in my hand. I'm trying to decide which is worse, eating unwashed strawberries or washing strawberries in the bathroom sink, when Changmin's voice mail clicks on. I quickly run the berries under the water as I explan why I can't be there to fill boxes of Consternation Hearts.

After inhaling the last of the strawberries, I open the pantry door to put the empty plastic container in the recycling and find it already overflowing onto the floor. I take the whole box outside to dump it in our recycling can, but it too is overflowing. I peek over at the Oh's can just across the small strip of lawn between our houses. I decide in the interest of saving the planet that it's okay to dump our recyling in their bin. Besides, with only Sehun and his dad living in the house, how much could there be in there?

The front door opens just as I'm shaking out the last can. Mr Oh steps out onto the porch.

"Morning, Mr Oh," I say.

He glances in my direction and offers me a weak smile. "Morning, Soo Rin," he replies. I start to thank him for letting me use up some of their recycling space, but he turns and heads back inside before I can.

Sehun's dad has always been a little eccentric. He's a great artist and a really nice person, but things like clean clothes, haircuts, and mealtimes seem to fall off his radar when he's painting. I'm guessing he must be in the middle of something huge.

The good news is that I've gotten almost all of my homework done. The bad news is that the plumber, who was supposed to show up "sometime after lunch", doesn't even make it to the front door until nearly four. The worse news is that it's already after five and all I can see is the bottom half of him still sticking out of the cabinet under the kitchen sink. He keeps complaining to me about the "old pipes" in this house, like it's my fault their corroding and breaking down. My mother's called half a dozen times from the shop, each time expressing her thanks more and more earnestly for staying here with him. My cell barks at me. I look over at the legs sticking out from under the sink and surmise that the bits of pipe scattered all around them means it's still going to be a while.

"Hey, Changmn," I say. I can hear "The Way You Look Tonight" through the phone.

"Just calling to let you know that as of tomorrow your Consternation Hearts are officially on sale."

"You finished?" I can't stop grinning. I couldn't figure out how I was going to get all those boxes filled and still actually attend school this week. "Thank you so much Changmin. You—"

"Whoa," he says. "Don't thank me. All I did was fold up a few boxes between customers. Your friends did all the work."

"Are they still there?" I ask.

"Nope," he says. "They just left. Something about The Plan." I roll my eyes. No telling what Taeyeon has Sulli doing now. Bleaching her teeth. Getting a facial. Balancing her chi. "I sent them out of here with a few boxes of Love Potion Number Nine and a bag of Morning Madness Granola about ten minutes ago." Here we go, I think.

"How does everyone like the new flavour?" I ask.

"It's not officially on sale yet," Changmin says. "Although Baekhyun tried it when he came in early to help me open up. He said it was good."

I smirk at the thought of Baekhyun trying the new flavour. He doesn't need any help in the falling in love department. "Baekhyun is working there now?" I ask. Man, that guy is unstoppable.

"Just here and there," Changmin says, laughing. "Don't worry. Your job isn't in jeopardy."

Just then plumber guy starts griping again from under the sink, something about flanges and crimping. "I better go," I say.

"Drop by after school so you can see your new creation in all its glory," Changmin says. "I have them right in front of the window along with a sign advertising the new truffle of the month."

"Thanks again, Changmin," I say before clicking off and going to deal with more talk of flow meters and fill gauges. I sigh and put the phone on the counter. I would rather pick bubble gum out of Minseok's hiar than talk about copper piping anymore. Just keep thinking about the nice running water. I put on my nicest smile and head around the corner.

 The plumber finally leaves just as Yunho's truck pulls up in front. Mom isn't home yet. She'll be sorry she missed him, I know, but seeing him isn't helping her actually get over him. I know they say it takes half as long as you were in a relationship to get over the relationship, but I'm not sure I can take any more of this. When I open the door, Yunho is standing there with Batman and Cinderella. Sort of. Minseok looks normal from the waist down—cargo pants and sneakers—but from the waist up, he's Batman. Lucy, on the other hand, looks like she went through a war where they used lipstick instead of bullets for ammunition.

"Don't I look pretty?" she asks, sliding past me.

"Very," I say. Yunho looks like he's also been through a war, but one I'm sure he's going to survive. "Long weekend?" I ask. There, a tiny piece of me that's glad he's gotten this glimpse of what it means to be a single parent, but most of me wants their visits to go well. Because whether I like him right now or not, he is Minseok and Hyoyeon's father. And whether I'm mad at him or not, he's officially my father too, since he adopted me when I was seven.

"They are very high-energy," Yunho says. I look up at the ceiling above our heads, which is actually the floor of their bedrooms and where they must be currently training elephants to jump through hoops. "So," Yunho says, leaning against the doorjamp. "How are you?" I'm surprised at his question. It isn't like him to attempt a conversation. Usually he's all about the drop-and-bolt.

I shrug. "Okay, I guess. Busy." He nods and keeps standing there. So I try again. "You know, school, candy-making—"

Something in his pocket beeps loudly. He pulls out his phone and looks at it. "I have to go," he says. His voice sounds sad, but maybe he's just tired. I nod. He stands there for a moment, like he's unsure whether he should hug me or shake my hand or something. I just lift my hand as if to wave. He gives me a tired smile and turns to walk down the sidewalk toward his truck. I take a deep breath. My mother is not the only one who has a hard time seeing Yunho. I close the door just in time to hear something very large and very heavy hit the floor above me.

"Minseok! Hyoyeon!" I yell in the direction of the stairs. I hear two sets of feet running toward the hallway, so I reason they are both still alive and at least still have the use of their legs. I deicde that I need some food in me before I tackle whatever mess there is upstairs.

I quickly fix a few grilled cheese sandwiches and pour three glasses of milk. I add some apple chunks, knowing that they probably lived on takeout and sugary cereal all weekend. I call for them as I slide the sandwiches out of the frying pan. Hyoyeon comes careening into the room first. She slides into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. The hem of her princess dress catches on the edge of the chair, and I hear a ripping sound as the tulle gives way. Minseok, close on her heels, jostles her briefly. Even though there are three other chairs pushed up to the table, they always want the same one. I plunk a plate of food in front of Hyoyeon and another in front of an empty chair on the other side of the table.

Minseok takes the other chair and immediately starts tearing the crust off his sandwich. He sneers at the apples, or at least I think he does. The Batman mask makes it hard to tell. "Why can't we have Lucky Charms?" he asks. I resist the urge to pour the glass of milk over his head and instead set it on the table beside his plate.

"Where's Mommy?" Hyoyeon asks, dribbling milk down the front of her princess dress.

"She's at the shop," I say. Minseok tries to push scraps of sandwich through the mouth slit in his mask. I slide the mask up onto the top of his head. He frowns at me, but starts eating his sandwich with his own mouth.

"When's she coming home?" Minseok asks.

"Soon," I answer.

"That's what you always say," Minseok says. I can't argue with that. He takes one last bite of sandwich before pushing away from the table. His movement upends hs glass, sending a river of milk flowing toward Hyoyeon. She screams and tries to get away from the table, tilting her chair so far back that she ends up on the ground and her dinner ends up on top of her.

I decide to move bedtime up about an hour. It only takes me ten minutes, four washcloths, and a round of toothbrush wrestling to get them in bed. They are nearly asleep before I've even gotten them all tucked in. I pull their door closed and head back downstairs, checking the clock on the way. Nearly seven.

I'm about halfway through the dishes when Taeyeon calls to tell me about the kickin' earrings she and Sulli found at Jump! I bite the inside of my cheek as she talks. I feel a funny twinge of jealousy at all the time Sulli and Taeyeon have been spending together, but I tell it to be quiet. I've just been busy and Sulli needs company. Taeyon starts in on The Plan again, talking about something called a mani-pedi, which I figure out has to do with getting our nails done. I just listen and um-hum. At one point I even put down the phone on the counter so I can dry the dishes with both hands. When I pick it up again, she's moved on to talking about the truffles. She doesn't even seem to have noticed that I was gone.

Taeyeon and I agree that we shouldn't force the truffles on the guys. Instead we'll position ourselves with the chocolates and rely on guys' general state of always being hungry to do the rest.

"Soo Rin, you just have to be casual about it," Taeyeon says. I roll my eyes.

"I got it," I say. Then slowly, as if I'm writing it down, I add, " be casual."

"I'll leave your chocolates on your locker before zero period." Most of us only take six classes, but Taeyeon goes to school an hour early to take Latin. She might act like a ditz sometimes, but she's anything but stupid. "What are you wearing tomorrow?" she asks finally.

"I don't know. My uniform?"

I can almost hear Taeyeon's eyes rolling through the phone. "Wear your gray hoodie with embroided flowers all over it and your sandals with the vegetables on them. You know, casual chic."

I squint at my reflection in the microwave door. I have never in my life uttered a word chic in a non-ironic way. "Listen Taeyeon, I've got to go. I still have to finish my lab write-up for Biology." I start to say good bye, but Taeyeon cuts me off with more beauty advice.

"Make sure you do something with your hair after practice. Don't just let it air dry." I make a note to put my hair dryer in my gym bag.

"Gotcha," I say.

"As for makeup—" I pull the phone away from my mouth.

"Taeyeon—I'm going to lose you. I'm about to enter a tunnel."

"Tunnel? What tun—" I click the end button on my phone and place it on the counter. I close my eyes for a second. Talking to Taeyeon makes me tired. The home phone rings and I shake my head. I pick it up and start talking fast.

"Taeyeon, listen. I really have work to do." There's silence and then the sound of someone clearing his throat. "Hello?"

"Hey, there, princess." I suddenly feel cold all over, like someone just dropped me into a pool of ice water. It's weird how just three words can unglue you. Seemingly harmless words that, when delivered by the right person, can cut your heart in two. "You there?" I close my eyes and concentrate. Just focus on the words, I tell myself.

"Yes," I say. I say it so softly that I have to repeat it. "Yes, I'm here." I take a deep breath, willing my heart to slow down. Why after all this time is my father calling? "What do you want?" There's more silence. My words came out harsher than I intended, but what does he expect after nearly two whole years?

"I just called to see how you are." My heart starts pumping even harder. I hate my heart for that, like it's betraying me. Stop it, I tell it, but it won't listen. "Got a birthday coming up."

"Yeah," I say softly. "I do." I remember my birthday two years ago, sitting alone in front of The Paper Lantern waiting for him to show up.

"Seems like just yesterday you were blowing out the candles on your Cinderella cake." I close my eyes. Cinderella was when I was six. The silence stretches between us again. Part of me longs for him to fill it, but the rest of me is glad he doesn't even try, "Listen," he says finally. "Is your mom around?" And there it is. I glance at the clock over the kitchen table. We couldn't even make it three minutes.

"She's at the shop," I say. He's quiet again.

"Maybe I'll call her there," he says. "It was good to talk to you, princess." There's more silence. "Listen," he begins. And I do. "We'll talk soon okay?"

"Okay," I say, hating that little spark of hope that flares up inside of me. There's a click and the line goes dead. I stand there with the phone in my hand until it starts beeping at me to hang it up. I place it on the counter and walk upstairs. I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling over me. It's the same ceiling I stared when my parents used to fight—when dad left, then came back, then left again. It's the same one I stared at when Yunho and my mum started dating and then got married and then had Minseok and Lucy one right after the other. Like they needed to hurry because the clock was ticking. Which I guess it was. He left when Hyoyeon was only two. That's two dads that walked out on us, walked out on me, in less than ten years. Yeah Sehun, I whisper to the ceiling. Maybe I am cynical, but for a good reason. Maybe instead of trying to find a potion that helps you to fall in love, someone should come up with one that makes you stay in love. Then you'd really have something.

I feel a blanket being pulled over me. I open my eyes and see my mother standing beside my bed. I squint at the clock. Almost nine. I must have fallen asleep. My mum pushes my hip and slide over, giving her room to sit beside me on the bed.

"You okay?" she asks. I can feel the heat behind my eyes. Tears that I refuse to let fall. Not over him. Not again. "He called the shop. Said he talked to you." I nod.

"What did he want?" I ask.

"I don't really know." She sighs and looks away from me. "He asked me a lot of questions about you." She looks back at me. I raise my eyebrow. "He wanted to know if you're happy."

"What did you tell him?" I ask, not sure what I would have answered if he'd asked me the same thing.

"I told him I thought you were." She looks at me for a long moment. "Was I right?" I poke around inside of myself for a minute before deciding.

"I'm pretty happy," I admit.

She gives me a small smile, then takes a breath. "He also wants to see you." I close my eyes. She finds my hand under the blanket and squeezes it. Her fingers are cold against mine. "You don't have to," she says. "After all this time, he can't really enforce visitation."

"I'll think about it," I say. My head says no way;it's my heart that needs to think about it.

"He gave me his new number," she says. "I put it on your desk." I look over at the piece of paper sitting there, tucked under my crystal heart paperweight. It's smile, just part of a piece of paper, but it seems to push some of the air out of the room. "I was worried," Mom says. "I tried to call the house, but the line was busy." I think of the phone I dropped on the counter without hanging it up. "You didn't answer you cell."

"It's downstairs," I say.

"I was worried," she says again.

"I'm okay," I say. I look at her. She's staring at my face. "Really."

"Pinkie-swear?" she asks. I find her pinkie with mine and squeeze it. "Don't forget to set your alarm. Sehun came over to tell you he'd be out front at ten after and not to be late."

"Sehun came over?" I ask, reaching for my clock. I set it at five A.M. Yuck.

"Apparently he couldn't get through on the phone either." She smiles at me. "He also said good job on the new truffles." She pulls my door shut as she leaves. I put my clock back on bedside table and pull my biology lab book from my backpack. Just then, what my mother said hits me. I leap out of bed and run out into the hall.

"Which truffles?" I ask.

"The new ones. He said he stopped by Changmin's today to see you and he loaded up on free candy." She shakes her head. "It's a wonder that man is able to stay in business with everything he's always giving away."

I smirk. If there is such a thing as love potion, Taeyeon will be pretty excited to know that Sehun ate some of our truffles. "Better get to sleep. Big day tomorrow," I say, kissing her fast on the cheek. She smiles and shakes her head at me. I trudge into my room and climb into bed. This is exactly why I wouldn't use magic even if it did exist. There's too much randomness in the world. I'd probably a) cast the wrong spell on b) the wrong person. Urgh. I completely refuse to get caught up in the insanity of Taeyeon's plan. But, I am in this for as long as Sulli is. Like Taeyeon says, she needs it.

author's note. 

FINALLY 30th April is the released date of the Overdose album. I was waiting for it for so long, especially when it got pushed back due to the sinking of the ship incident. I give my condolences to all those families who have not heard any news and are still waiting. I'll continue to pray for you. Believe in yourself because miracles do happen. Remember:

stay strong.