chapter FOUR.

At HSM High, ninety-eight percent of the student body looked like they just stepped out of an Abercrombie & Fitch ad or just   got kicked off Top Model. But even though breathtaking is pretty much the norm around here, Kim Jong In still parts the students in the hallway like he's Moses and they're the Red Sea. I mean, I've only spoken to Kim Jong In once and that was to stutter hello when he nodded at me on the pool deck. Pretty much every girl in school has probably daydreamed about Kim Jong In at one time or another. And the weird thing is even the teachers refer to him that way—Kim Jong In. never just Jong In. It's always first and last name. Kim Jong In, like even his name has to be set apart from the rest of us.

And if I had to say exactly why I've been crushing on Kim Jong In since I was seventh grade, I probably couldn't. I mean, it sort of just happened. But it's not like anything will ever come of it. Kim Jong In is what Taeyeon calls "my ideal." She says we all need someone in our life who is completely impossible. It keeps us hoping. I'm not sure I believe that, but it's as good an explanation as any for the way my heart starts beating too fast whenever I see him.

I write his name across the top of my paper in fourth period, considering it. Mr. Kwon is blah-blahing about some poet named Rumi. I'm trying to figure out more sayings for my Consternation Hearts when my sell buzzes. And when I say buzzes, I mean it actually sounds like bees are inside of it, letting me know that Sehun has gotten to my phone. Weird ring tones are his specialty. We're not supposed to have phones in class, but everyone does. I slip my phone out of my pocket and hold it under my desk, so Mr. Kwon can't see. It's my mother. She's recently discovered texting, which means she can tell me things as she thinks of them, instead of having to wait for the rare moments when we're both free.

Working late. Can you pick up M and H? M.

I think about the rising mountain of homework that is threatening to bury me. I start to text her back, asking if she can call Mrs. Lee, but before I can finish, Mr. Kwon is standing beside me, his hand outstretched. Everyone in class watches me as I hand off my phone. The bell rings for lunch and I gather my books together. Mr. Kwon doesn't say anything as I walk past his desk. He just holds up my phone along with a pink slip of paper. A detention. Hurray. This day just keeps getting better and better.

"Where do you want to eat?" Sulli asks when I meet her at my locker. She seems better—a little less liquid.

"I'll be in The Pit," I say, holding up the pink slip. We can serve detention morning, noon, or after school. Since I'll be spending my afternoon with Hyoyeon and Minseok, I have to spend lunch in detention.

"Ouch," Sulli says. "Sorry."

I shrug and try to be cavalier about it. "No big. Maybe I'll finally get caught up on my homework."

She nods. "I'll grab you something from the caff," she says. "Sushi?"

"Burger," I say.

"Your mother would be shocked." She smiles the tiniest when she says it. My mother is a well-known health nut.

Thinking less of my mother and more of my last three "meals" —peanut butter, bacon, and a cinnamon roll—I amend my order. "Veggie burger and carrot sticks."

"Enjoy the pit."

I snort. Not one of my more ladylike characteristics. "Not likely," I say.

Sulli smiles a little before heading towards the cafeteria which is a relief. At least little bits of Sulli are still poking through. I start heading towards The Pit, a giant nickname for the shop room where they have detention. Nothing like a little sawdust and the smell of motor oil to make you hungry. My phone buzzes again. I take a look before heading down the steps to the basement.

Thanks, S. Love M. I roll my eyes. She didn't even wait for my answer. She just assumed that I don't have anything else going on. And the sad thing is, other than homework, she's actually right.

I step into the land of cars and power tools and walk over to a stool near the back. I've only been here once before and that was because I refused to dissect a cat in Biology. Ms. Xi wanted me to spend the whole week in here, but one call from my mom and all I had to do was one day. I wipe at the decade of grime on the table with a rag that's been left there. I give up when I notice all I'm doing is moving the dirt around. I sit and drop my bag on the table in front of me. Mr. Choi, the shop teacher, is supposed to sit with us during the detention , but all he does is take roll and give us a couple gruff sentences about hanging us up by our ankles if we mess around. Then he heads into his office and shuts the door. About three seconds later we hear the opening chords of a Zeppelin song.

I slide my Brit lit book out of my bag, trying to ignore the grunting from the other side of then room. Today's distraction seems to revolve around fitting something very big and very greasy. It's better than last semester, when they had a chew-spitting contest. I still feel vaguely ill when I smell anything wintergreen scented.

The Pit is a populated half by people in detention and half by students I've never seen anywhere else except here. Pitters don't really look the same as the rest of the students. To be honest, I admire Pitters. Even if they're gross, at least you know they're real.

There is a burst of yelling from the other side of the room as the HSM Games really get going. I look over at Mr Choi's office door, expecting it to fly open at ant minute , but his only response is to crank up the squeling guitar solo. I sigh and try to find my place in my lit book. Mr. Kwon, ever the romantic, has assigned us Valentine's Day related words for our homework. Just another reminder of how inescapable the holiday is. We're supposed to be prepping for the PSAT, and since Mr.Kwon is a self proclaimed "logomaniac"( word lover ), we just keep getting lists and lists of vocabulary. I've complained about him so much that my Christmas gift from Sehun was a calendar for my desk at home. It's called 365 Obscure Words. So far, I've learned that mundungus is something that smells really bad and mytacism is the incorrect use of the letter m. Useful stuff.

I look around The Pit and decide that this is the epicenter of mundungus-ocity. It's weird though. While The Pit is full of nasty, the cars in here are pretty nice. From where I'm sitting, I can see one Mercedes, one BMW, one Lexus, and half a Hummer. In all truth, HSM Acadmy is about as fancy as you can get.

"Look, the princess is back." A hand, almost as big as a page in my English book, plants itself on the table next to mine. He's so close I can feel his breath on the side of my face. Wintergreen. I just keep working on my vocabulary, remembering another word from my calendar. Ablutophobia. A pathological fear of washing or bathing. "Hey, princess." I don't look up. Meat Hand pulls my book away from me, snaps it close, and slides it across the table to another set of hands. Smaller, but equally grungy. I finally look up.

"The name's Choding," he says.

"And you prefer that to Sungyeol?" I ask. He sneers at me, or at least he tries to. He needs to work on it though, because it looks like he is just about to sneeze. "Can I have my book back?" I ask, reaching my hand across the table to where his sidekick is still holding it.

"What are you going to give me for it?' He attempts another sneer, but this one makes him look like he's in pain. I sigh.

"Gum?" I ask. It's the only thing I have in my bag besides books.

"How about a kiss, baeutiful?" It's my turn to give a pained look. I'm not about to have my first kiss in The Pit with a guy named Choding. I try to think of something clever to say, something that will get my book back. Something that won't hurt Choding's pride and send my book to the nearest trash can. My chem book still smells minty nasty from the chew glopped on it the last time I was in here.

"Leave her alone." The voice comes from the other side of one of the gutted cars they have scattered around the enormous room. Nearly everyone has been watching The Choding and Soo Rin show, mostly because there's nothing else to do. Now everyone, including me, turns to looks at the guy coming around the back of the car.

"Why should I?" Choding asks, but his voice is definitely different. Less Choding. More Sungyeol.

"Because you're not a total jerk." The guy around the car is definitely not like the other guys. In fact, I'm not even sure he's real. Because unless I'm starting to hallucinate from the fumes, the guy coming around the back of the car is Kim. Period. Jong In. Period.

"Jerk?" Choding begins. He looks like he's trying to figure out if this is worth the trouble. Apparently he decides its not. "We're just messing around." He looks at me for confirmation, but I don't oblige. He reaches for my book. "Here," he says, pushing it hard enough to send it off the table and onto the floor.

"Thanks," I say. I start to say Sungyeol, but decide to just go along. "Choding." He shrugs and heads back to the other side of the room, where they are starting up another game, this one involving a couple of long rubber tubes and a tire. I bend and retrieve my book, noting that there is now a big splotch of grease on the front. I gather my courage to say thank you to Kim Jong In, but he's gone already back around to the other side of the car. I get up and walk across the shop, careful of the grease smears along the way. I'm not really sure why it suddenly matters—my boots are designed to keep out just about anything.

When I circle the car, only the other half of Kim Jong In is visible. His upper half is hidden under the car. "Thanks," I say to his feet. There's a clanging noise in response.

"Dang it." He rolls out from under the car. He stops when he sees me standing there.

"What?" he asks.

"I just wanted to—" for a moment I cant remember what it is I wanted to do. I just stand there looking at him. He frowns at me, then rolls to one side to grab another wrench out of the toolbox.

"Yes?" he says.

"I just wanted to say thank you." He stares at me. "So, um, thanks." He nods and looks around again, clearly still wondering what I'm doing here. I watch him for one awkward moment before turning to walk back to my table and more irrelevant words.

"Hey, Soo Rin," he says from behind me. I turnt to find him staring at me with a half smile on his face. "Nice boots."

I feel my face get red. "Thanks," I utter, because I have no idea what his half smile means. But it's definitely still there, and just as I'm about to ask him what he wants, he shakes his head and slides back under the car. I stare until all I can see are the bottom of his coveralls and his shoes. I try to focus on my English homework, but all I can think is that Kim. Period. Jong In. Period. actually knows my name.

Taeyeon is giving me "the look" again as I eat my lunch. Normally I have better manners, but I'm starving and have only three minutes to shove food into my mouth before assembly. She's eyeing me like I'm one of those nature shows where you just know the cute little bunny is about to get it, but you can't stop watching.

"So, The Plan—" she finally says. Sulli nods, looking past her to where a group of upperclassmen is climbing the steps from the caff and heading to the auditorium.

"Plan?" I ask around my last bite of veggie burger. I live for teasing Taeyeon.

Taeyeon sighs. "The Valentine's Day Plan. We now need to get three yummy guys."

I glance over at Sulli, but she;s not paying attention. She's still watching the stairs. Still looking for Daehyun. "How about instead we find cupid and beat the stuffling out of him," I say. "Or we could all wear black. You know, in protest."

"Why are you so anti-valentine's day?" Taeyeon questions.

"Don't," Sulli says.

"Don't what?" Taeyeon asks back.

Sulli looks over to me. "Too late."
I take a deep breath. "Valentine's Day is just a capitalist scam, designed to make people currently in a relationship spend unecessary money in a fruitless attempt to ensure undying love and devotion. For those of us not in a relationship, Valentine' Day is simple added pressure to identify ourselves within the context of a romantic relationship, whipping us into a frenzy that only the presence of our soul mates can relieve."

Taeyeon rolls her eyes at me; Sulli just shrugs. "I tried to warn you," she says. A group of rugby players mounts the stairs. Daehyun is in the middle of the group as if he's hiding in their midst. He barely makes eyes contact with Sulli before he walks by.

"See?" I saw to Taeyeon. "Why should we celebrate a day that is devoted to heartbreak?"

"I refuse to admit defeat," Taeyeob urges.

Out of the corner of my eye I spot Baekhyun lurking across the hall, probably trying to work up the nerve to say hello to Taeyeon. I smile in his direction, but Taeyeon glares at me and shakes her head. This of course makes me smile even more.

"We should go in," Sulli states finally. "Afternoon assembly is about to start."

"I'll meet you in there." I notice that my hands are sort of gross from the veggie burger and probably I'm sort of grungy in general from my time in The Pit. Unfortunately, the closest restroom isn't all that close. I have to actually go outside and over to the next building. Even more unfortunately, it's raining. By the time I end up back at the main building, I'm pretty damp. Somehow, the twist my mother put in my hair is still holding up. But rubber boots + water + tile floor = an unbelievable amount of noise all in the form of loud squeaks that make it sound like I'm trying to smuggle a bunch of small rodents into the assembly.

As if the day couldn't get any worse, the assembly has already started and Father Joe is up at the front leading everyone in the opening prayer. Sulli and Taeyeon are about three rows down from where I'm standing at the back and they've left a seat for me on the aisle. I can do this. I walk carefully, trying to make as little noise as possible. Once I hit the carpet, I think I'm home free. But wet boots can slip easily on carpet as they do on tile. The heels of my left boot catches on the edge of the step and my foot slides out from under me. My arms start pinwheeling. My legs fly out at weird angles and I brace myself for impact. I probably would have ended up sprawled halfway down the stairs with the whole school staring at me if it weren't for a pair of strong hands that manage to catch me before I hit the ground.

"Careful." The voice is low and soft and his breath is warm on my neck. I stand up unsteadily and make my way down one more step to where Taeyeon and Sulli are sitting staring at me.

"Holy sugar," Taeyeon whispers in light of the fact that we're in chapel. "That was Kim Jong In." I shrug and both she and Sulli look at me for a moment before turning their attention back to the front, where Father Joe is winding up the prayer. My cheeks still feel like their on fire. Okay, so maybe I'm not completely hardened to the concept of romance. Or maybe I'm still dizzy from eating too quickly, almost falling on my head, and Kim Jong In's warm breath on my neck.

author's note. 

ALRIGHT PEEPS, tomorrow's the last two teasers from the wholesome twelve before SM decided to release the video teasers. Byun Baek and Chensingmachine is all that's left now.

What.

The.

Holy.

Sheezitt.

I'm literally crying into the air and begging on my knees that hopefully, hopefully, the teaser videos will NOT kill me. And if you don't know, there's freaking three of them. THREE.

Yes, goodbye world. I'll see you soon in my next life. And maybe, I''ll survive the next time round.

Or not.