He's kissing me. He is actually kissing me. This is happening. It's absolutely crazy and none of it makes any sense and I am torn by all these sensations and I don't even want it to stop. This will ruin me. Oh God, this will either make me or break me. Am I ready for this? No, I'm not. But I'm probably not even supposed to be.

''You're thinking,'' he breathes in between the kisses, sending tingles through her lips.

''It's a condition,'' she smiles in defeat.

''One I intend to cure,'' he smiles back before he gives her another kiss. 

Each and every kiss seems to last an eternity of its own, and yet far too short. This is something Chaerin has never experienced before - no one is leading and no one is following. They're in perfect balance of fluid kisses and eager touches - every touch as bold and fiery. They both want it equally, and they both feel equally strongly, and it's almost overwhelming. With every Jiyong's bruising kiss, Chaerin thinks her knees will fail her. With every Chaerin's touch against his neck, Jiyong thinks his skin will set itself on fire.  Every move flows into another so spontaneously they barely even notice it happens. With Chaerin's body against the door, and Jiyong's hands on it, enclosing her - he's now trying to tell her, trying to phrase it perfectly. His forehead leaning against hers, he's catching his breath, and for a moment Chaerin wonders why he's stopped.

''You think you know, but you don't,'' he breathes, ''You don't know the extent - the intensity - of it. You are so breathtakingly beautiful. So devastatingly delightful. In every way.''

She thinks her heart will explode any moment now.

''And there is a universe inside of you, so much true light I would never want to dim. Don't let me. Don't ever let me.''

''Jiyong-''

''I just- You fail to see it all and I fail to really show it to you. If you could ever see yourself through my eyes- the eyes of a dead man- you- you would be blinded by how exquisite you are. You have sparked some life within me. You have made flowers grow where there had been a wasteland. I don't- I won't ever deserve you.''

''We deserve each other,'' she somehow manages to utter. She pulls him by his neck into an eager kiss - a kiss meant to help her show him how much she means it. ''This is crazy,'' she whispers in between the kisses, ''And illogical, but we are drawn to each other because we are equal - two pieces of an ordinary stone that can be polished into a diamond. We deserve each other perfectly.''

Her words seem to encourage him, to add more fuel to the fire. His lips move from her own to her neck and her collarbones, leaving bruises as they go. Every touch like electricity. His teeth grazing her skin like a metaphor for him wanting to reach beyond, scrape beyond every surface. Explore her entire being. God help him, but he wants to.

And she can barely keep her composure intact. His lips back on hers, their teeth biting and tongues dancing - she can't help but pull on his shirt. He allows himself a smile against her lips as his arms snake around her waist.

''And you are not a dead man,'' she adds, ''Not a dead man yet, Kwon Jiyong.''

''Maybe, but you were my saving grace,'' he grins now.

''We're being awfully cheesy, I'm almost embarrassed,'' she grins too, only to hear him chuckle, ''Do you understand how crazy this is? When has a person ever developed feelings for someone in barely a week?''

''Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?''

''Where did you hear that? Because you do not read Shakespeare,'' she laughs. 

He shrugs. ''I may have a few surprises up my sleeve yet.''

In that moment Chaerin is sure she loves him. She loves that smile of a child; and the spark in his eyes when he's passionate about something - like now with the way he is looking at her; and she loves that little shrug of his shoulders, and the boyish playfulness about him; and the way his hands feel against her body. She loves his long fingers, and the way he breathes, and the way the skin around his eyes wrinkles when he grins really wide. She feels so much love for everything that he is that if she were to hug him with all that affection she is sure she would suffocate him. Not letting her think too much, he scoops her up in his arms and carries her to the bedroom.

When her feet reach the floor again, he hugs her from the back, and kisses her temple. Goosebumps cover her skin entirely. He brushes her hair away only to kiss the back of her neck, the exposed bits of her shoulder and back. She tries to stifle moans, but they escape her, though quietly, like breaths.

His fingers graze the skin of her arm, from shoulder to hand, before their fingers intertwine. His wet lips and warm breaths against her neck make her feel like no one has ever made her feel before. It's not even lust, it's so much more, above and beyond. When she closes her eyes, she half-expects to see fireworks against her eye-lids. God knows there's a festival going on down in the pit of her stomach.

''Jiyong,'' she breathes, meaning ''Don't tease, don't wait around too much, undress me.'' He somehow gets the message and pulls the zipper of her dress down so very painfully slow. With one gentle brush of his hands against her shoulders, the dress falls down to the floor. Nothing but on her now, and he can barely handle the sight.

His hands caress her arms again sending small electric shocks through her as he whispers into her ear. ''So beautiful,'' he says, ''Breathtakingly, devastatingly beautiful.'' And she shivers, completely unable to resist it.

She turns around and kisses his lips, at first barely touching him, then gently, until it becomes a hurricane coming from both sides equally. She pushes him toward the bed never stopping the kissing, all the while ing his stupid Givenchy shirt with too many buttons meant for nothing but to torture her. When he suddenly sits down, she straddles him, and with his hands on her hips, she bites his lower lip. When she looks into his eyes she can see just how overwhelmed he is - there is amazement, and vulnerability, and lust, and affection, and so much tension. She can see every nerve inside of him is pulsing, and it pleases her very much.

When he puts his hand on her ribcage and looks down at her - really looks at her for the first time from the front and up close - it's all he can do not to pant and leave himself breathless. The intensity of his gaze almost prickles her skin; but she pulls him into a kiss again, a ravaging, passionate kiss. 

His hands are everywhere now, and everywhere they touch they leave fire. He is eager, so eager, and yet he manages to touch her slowly, and oh so ally she thinks she will lose her mind. It's all so chaotic yet perfectly fluid at the same time, and Chaerin is certain this should be considered art on its own. She's barely aware of her whimpers when it's his lips and tongue against her skin instead of his hands. And he loves each inch of her skin equally, every curve and cravice of her body. He loves her whole.

She calls herself back to full awareness and pries his fingers off the lace of her .

He grins. ''Victoria keeping her Secret I see.''

She absolutely bursts into laughter. ''You did not just make that joke! Oh my God.'' 

His grin grows even wider at the sight of her laughing, the sound of it making him happier than he ever thought he could be. He kisses her collarbone, and tries not to laugh himself, but fails at it.

''If that didn't turn you off, we're made for each other.''

She pulls him back into a kiss. ''We are.'' Then another. ''But you're not taking these off while still almost fully dressed.''

With mutual efforts, they're soon both fully undressed, and so wrapped around each other, their limbs are barely separable. Kisses are everywhere, wet kisses, bruising kisses, and as much as both of them want each other, they're taking it as slow as it can be taken, wanting it to never end.

''That letter I left for later,'' he finally utters through a kiss, his voice hoarse, ''This is later. Sh-show it to me.''

And she does - she kisses and bites and touches and claws at almost every inch of his skin, paying a bit of special attention to every single bit of ink engraved into it. He moans at every contact, his self-control all but non-existant. If he were one bit aware, he'd probably be embarrassed about being an eager, breathless wreck at the mercy of her. 

It's all a haze from that moment on. It feels so right - so perfectly natural and as easy as breathing. Before they're finally joined as one he stops her one more time - just one last time to say: 

''Chaerin-''

''Don't. No more thinking. No regrets, and no poetic stuff. I want you.''

''I- I can't change who I truly am,'' he says, ''I will always- I'll always be-''

''I don't want you to change who you are,'' she insists, ''God, I don't want you to.''

She tangles her fingers into his hair and pulls him into a kiss. One of her hands trails down his abdomen to tentatively take him, hold him, and move slowly. Jiyong can barely breathe, and he holds her hips with so much force Chaerin is sure there will be quite a few marks left there. They share only one look into each other's eyes before they're joined as one - a single look as final verification that they both still want this, that they're both still doing this.

When Chaerin sinks onto him, she's sure nothing's ever felt more right. There's no other word that could explain it - ''right'' is simply it. They move slowly, savoring each moment and making it last, and as Jiyong holds her face gently, he whispers to her in between kisses. He's whispering what she's thinking.  "You- This- It just feels so right. So good." To Chaerin, Jiyong's warm breath landing on her swollen lips is almost as sweet as the actual kisses. 

It's even more of a blur from there - tongues dancing and teeth clashing, breaths and moans filling the air. Once it's over - once they've both reached their peaks - he's almost afraid to let go of her. He kisses her and kisses her as passionately as his remaining strength will allow him. As though she's reading his mind - which at this point he's certain she somehow can - she whispers to him breathily, still trying to catch her breath.

''I'm right here, babe,'' she says, ''I'm not going anywhere.''

He kisses her forehead before separating himself from her, lying on his back just trying to calm his breathing. Watching his chest go up and down, up and down, Chaerin cannot resist snuggling up and placing her head there, taking a listen to his heartbeat. He wraps an arm around her, and for a while, neither move, and neither speak - they just lie there with their legs tangled together and enjoy the silence.

''Me neither,'' he says after a while, breaking the silence. She frowns.

''You neither... what?''

''I'm not going anywhere either,'' he explains, ''Unless you want me to.''

Her heart skips a beat. ''I don't want you to. I don't think I ever will.''

''I meant what I said - I am afraid you'll regret it. I am terrified of it - of hurting you - but I will not- I will not let my fear make me run away.''

''Good,'' she only says.

''And I really- You say you don't want me to change who I am but- You need to remember how insensitive I can be. How much of a prick, and just how tactless I can be. It's become impulsive. Even when I try my hardest, and God knows it's almost all the time, I manage to things up. I have hurt everyone I've ever loved, quite literally. And I'm absolutely terrified of hurting you.''

''I'll take my risks,'' she says.

''And I've never done this before.''

She looks up at him and arches an eyebrow. He smiles.

''No, I mean, I've been with people, just- Not like this. I have never let anyone come this close. I have never let anyone have me, so- entirely. You have me in the palm of your hand, and you could crush me any time you want, and I don't even mind.''

''But that scares you too.''

''A little bit.''

''Good, because it scares me as well.''

''God, for the first time in a while, I truly need a cigarette.''

''You quit smoking?'' she asks, with genuine surprise and quite a bit of disbelief.

''Yeah, I figured I owe that much to the person who patched me up and nursed me back to health,'' he grins.

She cannot help but smile, and she's absolutely certain she looks like a schoolgirl in love, her eyes twinkling and all.

''How about a drink then?'' she asks.

''Sounds perfect.''

They enjoy pleasant silence once again as they're sipping their whiskey, savoring every drop while never breaking the contact with each other - never allowing themselves to move away too far to lose the feeling of the other's skin against their own. 

''Oh, I got news for you too,'' she breaks the silence, ''First, I made that dress.''

''You did?'' 

''Yeah,'' she confirms, and she thinks it was worth it for the way he's beaming with happiness right now if for nothing else.

''I got some feedback, and some phonecalls,'' she smiles, ''Something might come of it. I wanted to give you credit as the co-designer but then I remembered you probably wanted to stay dead.''

''Yeah, good call. And I barely did anything. It's your dress.''

''Kwon Jiyong being modest. The world is truly at its end.''

''Shut up,'' he grins.

''And second, I listened to ''Window''. Good news - your music isn't . Bad news - you were a to do that to me and I cried like a baby.''

''Sorry,'' he says, and she feels his hold on her tighten just a bit, like an impulse, and it's fleeting.

''Eh, I'm over it,'' she waves off. He smiles.

After a while he speaks again. ''Oh and by the way, I was scared less,'' he nods as he remembers. Just as she's about to ask him what the hell he's talking about, he continues with an explanation.

''When you asked me if I was scared when I jumped... I was. For a moment I thought it would go wrong and I would actually die, and I got really scared. Not of dying. But of not living. My entire life just replayed in my mind, as cliché as it sounds, and I did not like it one bit. The thought of not being able to do it all over again scared me less.''

''Well, GD is certainly dead,'' Chaerin says as she takes another sip of the strong drink.

''Yes, he is.''

''I'm kind of glad. He was a pompous .''

He grins at her cheeky smile before he buries his face in the nook of her neck, placing a loud kiss there. To say he's glad too would be an understatement.