Kris

I woke up upon hearing the familiar sound of the alarm clock on the nightstand. I reached over to turn it off and stretched my arms in the air, letting out a long yawn at the same time. The sun shone in through the bedroom window, which made me optimistic. A day with sunshine was always better than a day without, in my opinion. I rolled over and smiled. Lying next to me was my beautiful girl, Heather. She had her back to me, so I couldn’t see if she was awake or not. I wrapped an arm around her waist, placed a sweet kiss on her bare shoulder and crawled a bit closer to her. “Morning, baby. Did you sleep well?” I whispered in her ear. I waited for her reply, but none came. Instead of waiting more, I leaned over her and peeked at her face, checking if she was awake or sleeping. Heather’s eyes were open, staring straight forward. My heart sank in my chest; she hadn’t had a good night, meaning it wasn’t going to be a good day either. “Baby? Heather?” I called her name in a soothing voice while caressing her cheek gently.

“I’m awake,” she replied. I moved away as I knew she hated whenever I’d be too straightforward - it had changed after the catastrophe though, before she’d loved how I would nibble her ear in the morning or plant butterfly kisses on her neck. Heather sat up, letting the sheets slid off her body. I got a bit surprised that she wasn’t wearing a bra; it wasn’t like her to do so. I watched as she got up from the bed and walked to the wardrobe. It took her ages to pick out an outfit she liked and even longer before she’d dressed; she wore a simple shirt with a black pair of sweatpants. Her hair lay loosely down her shoulders and, even though she hadn’t done anything else but put on some clothes, she looked absolutely stunning in my eyes.

“You look beautiful,” I complimented. Heather turned around, her eyes met mine.

“Why are you with me? I’m not worth all this trouble, you know that. Just give up, Kris. I’m never going to be the same again. Stop trying, because it’s not working. I cannot sleep a single night without seeing those waves coming towards us! The screams from those around us... I cannot go a day without feeling myself drowning!” In a matter of seconds, Heather’s panic attack had gone from non-existent to hysteric. I rushed out of bed and caught her just in time for her to fall in my arms. We sat down on the floor and I held her protectively in my arms, her back and kissing her hair. Heather wrapped her arms around my neck in order to cry on my shoulder. The warmth from her clothes caused me to shiver, nonetheless a nice one. We stayed like that until she’d calmed down and I could let her go for a moment, putting on my clothes swiftly and then picked her up in my arms. Without a word, I carried her into the living room where I put her down on the couch and wrapped her in her favourite blanket. Then I went out into the kitchen. There wasn’t much to make breakfast from for me but Heather’s favourite always stood in the refrigerator; strawberry yoghurt. I poured up a bowl for her and brought it out into the living room with her favourite spoon as well.

“Here, baby, try to eat some. You need it,” I said, handing her the bowl. Heather didn’t make any effort to take the bowl out of my hand. A couple of tears ran down her cheeks, slowly. I sat down in front of her, put the bowl on the table and took her hands in mine. “Baby, please, listen to me. I miss you so much. I miss your smile, your laughter, your funny way of trying to seduce me...” I chuckled. “It sounds like I miss having , but it’s not that. I miss talking to you, holding you close to me, kiss you whenever I feel like it. I miss how you would shiver from my mere touch. Now it’s like I don’t exist anymore; you don’t feel my touch, you don’t let me kiss you, don’t let me hold you close at night.” I bit my lip hard, preventing the tears from falling out of my eyes. I refused to show my weakness now that I needed to be strong, for her and myself, too.

“Each day is the same, isn’t it?” Heather whispered. “It’s always the same for you, all days of the week...year. I understand if you want to leave me, Kris. I honestly do. You shouldn’t have to take care of me like this, like I’m your nanny that’s mentally ill instead of your girlfriend. It would be so much easier if you put me in a mental hospital and left me there, because I’m not sure I’ll ever get out of this. You don’t understand what it’s like seeing your friends die over and over in your dreams. It’s been two years since the tsunami hit those shores. 26th of December, 2004. I’m never getting better, Kris, you have to accept that. I know you-”

“I know that you think this will not change. That is exactly why I cannot leave you, no matter how traumatised you are, baby. It may take ten, twenty years before you get the slightest better. And I’ll wait for that moment to come, if it comes. And I don’t care if it doesn’t either, I’ll wait. Because you mean the world to me, just like you did yesterday and you’ll do tomorrow. I cannot undo what happened, though I wish I could. It’s so hard seeing you like this, baby. I admit that. But you need to understand, Heather, I love you.”

-

Jongin

“Mi Na, look at me!” I called out to the girl. She turned around towards me. I had found her kitten ears and had put them on my head then made a cute little pose. Mi Na attempted to force a smile to appear. “Honey, you don’t have to smile if you don’t want to,” I told her softly. “It was silly of me, sorry.” I took off the kitten ears and placed them on the bed.

“It’s not your fault,” she replied.

“Yes, it is. I was only trying to make you smile. I’m sorry.” Mi Na walked up to me and hugged my waist; she rested her head on my chest.

“I like hearing your heart beat. It makes me feel as if there’s something worth living for. I’m really sorry for not being able to fulfil your wish, Jongin.” Mi Na’s voice sounded incredibly toneless, it hurt my heart so bad hearing her speak like that. It was as though all the happiness had vanished from the face of the earth, leaving only sorrow, anger and all those other bad emotions that no one wanted to feel. Mi Na let me go and walked out of the bedroom, leaving me on my own. I slumped down on the