'Sungrin, for the love of God, stop!'

 

Sungmin was losing the last bits of his patience. In about half an hour Sungrin managed to throw the content of bowl onto the floor - apparently grits with plum was as inedible as it looked. He spilled his juice over Sungmin's head when his father was cleaning the floor around his high chair. Instead of preparing another bowl Sungmin pushed a small turkey sausage into Sungrin's hand to munch on while he tried to dress his son in clean clothes. Of course, that was a lost cause as well. Sungrin only allowed Sungmin to undress him before he smacked a fist holding the slobbered sausage into Sungmin's nose and waddled out of his nursery and after Bernard to his father's bedroom.

 

Before Sungmin managed to gather his bearings and wipe the saliva of his son from half of his face Sungrin was already out on the balcony, and thank God Sungmin thought to install the safety fence on the top and bottom of the stairs leading to the garden from his bedroom. All Sungrin could do was to grip and pull at the bars while Bernard was stomping impatiently next to him, whining a little because he obviously wanted to pee.

 

Sungmin let Bernard go to relieve himself and gathered Sungrin, but not for long. The little worm managed to wiggle his way out of his father's arms and run, which he was getting hang of so fast last few weeks, towards the living room.

 

'Stop!' Sungmin hated yelling, especially at Sungrin, but it didn't even have the proper results. His son simply laughed and squeezed his tiny body behind the playpen.

 

Clenching his jaw and closing his eyes Sungmin counted from ten down. More to occupy his mind with something else than to calm down. He wasn't exactly furious, but he could use distraction. That's why the sudden buzzing of his doorbell made relief wash over him. Throwing one look towards Sungrin, still hidden behind the playpen where there were no cables or sharp objects or edges, Sungmin marched towards the door and swung it open without checking the peephole.

 

Kyuhyun's normally serious face turned into amused the moment Sungmin showed himself in the door.

 

'That's a new treatment for your hair?' The younger joked, brows raised as he snickered looking somewhere around Sungmin's hair.

 

Narrowing his eyes Sungmin pursed his lips.

 

'That's grape juice from Sungrin's lunch. My son graciously decided to share with me.' He murmured and run his hand through his slightly damp, but already stiffening, hair. He knew that it made his head look worse, judging from the explosive breath under which Kyuhyun tried to hide his laughter.

 

Rolling his eyes he stepped to the side and allowed his partner, and the boy attached to his hand, enter his apartment. Chunghee was bleary eyed and staring unconsciously ahead of him.

 

'Chunghee, hi.' Sungmin kneeled before the boy and only then Chunghee seemed to notice where he was and with whom.

 

'Minnie!' The boy exclaimed and threw his wiry arms around Sungmin's neck, clinging to the man, his hug unrelenting even when Sungmin tried to move away.

 

Sighing, Sungmin slid his hands under the boy's knees and lifted him, two skinny legs wrapping around his middle.

 

'It's safe to say he missed you.' Kyuhyun chuckled as he kicked off his flip-flops and pushed his bags onto the small shoe rack.

 

'You don't say.' Sungmin snapped and immediately scrunched his nose regretting the harsh tone. However, Kyuhyun only raised his brow in question. Letting out a heavy breath Sungmin half turned towards his living room. 'Rin seemed to pick up some habits from the other kids in the nursery.'

 

Kyuhyun's eyes darted again to the top of his partner's head and then towards the living room. He didn't say anything, just marched into the room and kneeled on the plush carpet, right next to the yellow, white and brownish colored set of clothes Sungmin dropped there in irritation. He gave it a more close examination, distinguishing which animal it was this time before he turned towards the playpen. He could hear giggling from behind it.

 

'I came to see a cute giraffe, take it to the fair in the village outside the city and share some cotton candy, but I can't see any giraffe here!' He talked in a higher tone, his words a little like in those TV shows for little kids.

 

Sungmin tilted his head and waited. Didn't have to wait long because just a moment after Kyuhyun stopped talking Sungrin wiggled his way out from behind the playpen and rushed towards Kyuhyun, falling on his knees once and scrambling back up, only to fall again into Kyuhyun's lap with a loud laughter. He plastered himself against the much bigger man for a moment before he slid to the floor again and reached for his clothes. Of course Sungrin didn't master dressing yet, but he knew that something was going over his head so he pulled the small hooded t-shirt onto the top of his head and grinned.

 

'I'm gilaf!' He exclaimed and reached again towards Kyuhyun with his chubby arms.

 

Sungmin barely contained laughter. He knew that Kyuhyun had to have a way with kids, he brought up his own son completely alone really and Chunghee was a very pleasant child, too, as well as well-behaved, no matter how Kyuhyun was whining about the boy's misbehaving.

 

'Juice.' Chunghee murmured into Sungmin's collar. He had his head propped on the man's shoulder tiredly.

 

'Coming up, one juice.' Sungmin announced. 'Anyone else wants anything?'

 

'Water.' Kyuhyun threw from where he was pulling t-shirt through Sungrin's head. 'I'm gonna put diaper on him cause I was serious about that fair. You better do something about that hair.'

 

Sungmin pursed his lips but walked to the kitchen where pulled out a small box of apple juice from the cupboard. He didn't keep kiddy drinks in the fridge. He might have been a little paranoid, but cold drinks were a no-go. Sungrin never had any cold or throat infection and he wanted to keep it that way as long as possible.

 

'PAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPA!'

 

Sungmin swerved, but thankfully he already set Chunghee on the counter and gave him the juice to sip on. Sungrin was in the corridor between kitchen and living room screaming at the top of his lungs. He was still - but at least had the t-shirt on.

 

'What happened?' Sungmin was frantically looking all over his son's body for any sign of harm.

 

'JUICE!' The boy screamed again and dashed towards his room, Kyuhyun hot on his tail, pearl laughter escaping his throat.

 

Sungmin rolled his eyes. He was starting to regret putting Sungrin in the nursery. Yes, the boy's speaking was developing so much faster now that he had more opportunities to talk, but on the other hand the mischief he learned from other kids was starting to play on Sungmin's nerves. He thought he was a patient man, but apparently he completely overestimated his abilities to raise a normal child.

 

'Why's Sungrin's wee-wee so small?' Chunghee asked and at the straw, eyes big and curious.

 

Sungmin blinked. Now that was a question he didn't expect. He was speechless for a moment, searching for explanation.

 

'Because he is still very small…?' He said slowly, but it came out as a question. Chunghee kept looking straight at him, as if he was still expecting an answer.

 

'Chunghee, how old are you?' Came the question from the doorway.

 

Sungmin turned his head and saw Kyuhyun in the doorway, Sungrin on his hip, playing with the strings from his hoodie.

 

Chunghee's forehead creased as he looked at his hand. Finally, he apprehensively lifted it, palm opened and facing both men.

 

'Yes, you're that much old. Five.' Kyuhyun spoke patiently. 'And how old is Sungrin?'

 

Again, Chunghee stared at his own hand, fingers closing until only his thumb was sticking out and the boy put down his juice and grabbed the top if his forefinger as if trying to hide it.

 

'One and a little, right?' Chunghee nodded at his father's words. 'Do you see how many fingers are between you two?' Again a nod, more energetic this time, as if the realization was washing over the boy. 'So Sungrin is that much smaller everywhere. The more fingers he is, the bigger he'll be. Do you understand now?'

 

Chunghee smiled and nodded again before grabbing at his juice box again and sipping hard, the familiar slurping noise filling the kitchen. Sungmin looked with wonder at his partner.

 

'You're a genius.' He whispered but Kyuhyun shrugged it off.

 

'When Sungrin starts to chain ask why, where, how and why again you'll learn it too. He already did. I told him I'd put a diaper on and he asked why already, just wait until it evolves.' Kyuhyun twisted his head to be able to look at the boy in his arms. He pinched his nose gently making Sungrin scrunch it but the boy didn't react otherwise, too focused on the knots tied at the ends of his strings.

 

Something inside Sungmin melted at the sight before him and he quickly cleared his throat to stop himself from cooing.

 

‘I’m gonna shower fast and we can go. Just grab whatever you need.’ He slid his hands under Chunghee's armpits and put the boy back on the floor before walking fast towards his bathroom.

 

***

 

The juice managed to clump his hair together after it dried and to Sungmin's discontent he needed to wash it three times before there were no more stiff strands under his fingers.

 

Already dressed in pants, his clean polo waiting for him on his bed, Sungmin emerged from the bathroom toweling his hair. He didn’t manage to get to his polo because he collided with another body on his way out.

 

Kyuhyun was leaning on the wall next to the door, a small smile on his face.

 

‘Hi.’ The younger said in a soft voice and leaned towards Sungmin, palms cradling his cheeks.

 

Sungmin sighed into the kiss and dropped the towel to wrap his hands around Kyuhyun and draw the man closer. He pulled away for a moment, lips close enough to his partner’s that they could feel each other’s breaths.

 

‘Kids?’

 

‘Chunghee's showing Rin his writing exercise book.’ Kyuhyun murmured and immediately took advantage of Sungmin's parted lips to into the man’s mouth.

 

Sungmin gasped and his hands fisted the material under his palms. Kyuhyun was being extremely affectionate. Sure, they haven’t seen each other for a week, but this was too sudden and too different. However, when Kyuhyun's tongue was doing such things to his Sungmin couldn’t deny the man.

 

Kyuhyun crowded Sungmin into the wall, pushing him against the flat surface and making him hiss from the coldness of it on his water-warmed skin. The younger’s fingers were slowly tracking soft skin under their pads as he tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss more. His kisses were hungry and desperate, making Sungmin shiver from excitement. They were edging on the dangerous territories, but Sungmin couldn’t bring himself to stop the other male.

 

They lingered in the kiss for another minute before Kyuhyun slowed them down and finally pulled away after nipping at Sungmin's swollen upper lip.

 

‘Wow.’ Sungmin breathed out, suddenly aware that he was panting, his excitement showing in more ways than in his quickened breath. It wasn’t anywhere near the point of no return, but he still felt uncomfortable knowing that any given moment Chunghee or Sungrin could rush into the room and see them like this. The boys were still too little to understand, or rather Rin was too little and Chunghee probably wouldn’t find anything strange, but it didn’t mean they could just lose themselves in the moment.

 

‘I’m sorry.’ Kyuhyun whispered. His thumb caressing the skin on Sungmin's hip, peeking from under man’s pants. ‘I just need… normal.’

 

Sungmin stared for a moment at his partner, finally understanding. He was surprised at the man’s easy attitude from the moment Kyuhyun stepped over his threshold today, but this was just a coping mechanism. Kyuhyun was trying to save both himself and Chunghee from more stress.

 

‘I can’t sit at home and… wait. I’m sor~’

 

‘Fair.’ Sungmin said, a little too loud. ‘Let me put my shirt on and we’ll go. I’m sure it’ll be awesome and kids will have tons of fun. Where is it, you said?’

 

Sungmin ignored the sudden tightness of his chest when Kyuhyun smiled with gratitude at him. He was doing something right and he would just need to keep it up.

 

***

Kyuhyun quickly glanced into the rear view mirror and chuckled seeing that both Chunghee and Sungrin were fast asleep on the back seat. The younger was still clutching his kiddy sausage, half eaten, while his head rolled to the side and his body slumped against the side of his booster seat. Chunghee, on the other side, was sitting still straight, his head supported on the neck pillow, mouth agape.

 

The trip to the village wasn't that long, but it was enough to make them nap before the excitement at the fair. He and Chunghee already went to it the previous year and knew what to expect.

 

And then there was Sungmin. The man was studying the leaflet about the fair that Kyuhyun printed before going out. His lips were moving as he was reading quietly about all the attractions.

 

Kyuhyun was glad that the man wasn't breaching the subject of Jojin or the kiss they shared in his apartment. Kyuhyun wasn't exactly sure himself what came over him, but seeing Sungmin made him find peace again. The man represented that part of Kyuhyun's life when he was feeling relaxed and happy. He found strength in the knowledge that he had someone he could find support in, no questions asked. Previously, he would simply stay at home and wait. Sometimes it took Jojin more than a few days between the visits, but she always came. This time if she wanted to contact him she would have to wait at the gates to his hanok. This time he wasn't going to make it easy for her.

 

'Oh my God, just how ancient are these rides?!' Sungmin muttered with horror in his voice.

 

'What?'

 

'The rides for the kids. They look ready to fall apart.' The elder man kept looking at the pictures of a few small carrousels that would surely be set at the fair.

 

'Chunghee's still here, so they're not that bad.' Kyuhyun remarked and had to stifle laughter when he glanced to the side and saw utter mortification on Sungmin's face. 'Sungrin's too small for them.' He added quickly to reassure the man.

 

'Thank God. But I'm not letting Hee on them as well.'

 

Kyuhyun raised his brow at that. He would never tell Sungmin that it wasn't his place to make such decisions, but truthfully speaking Kyuhyun wasn't too sure about them as well. If he could direct his son's pout towards someone else that was ideal. And it wasn't as if Chunghee would stay mad at Sungmin long. The boy developed such a soft spot for the man that even Siwon would have to step aside. Maybe not Youngwoon yet, because he was Hee's beloved uncle, but that might change soon as well.

 

'Speaking of Siwon~'

 

'Did we speak about Siwon?' Sungmin's head flew up and looked at his with consternation.

 

Kyuhyun bit his tongue, in place of slapping his head, because how much of a moron could he be?

 

'I mean, I wanted to speak about Siwon…' He said slowly, eyes darting quickly to the side and noticing the suspicious look in his partner's eyes.

 

'Uhu.' Sungmin narrowed his eyes and lowered the leaflet he was studying.

 

'He'll be there, too. They. Chois.' He couldn't have stuttered and tripped more on his words even if he tried.

 

The look on Sungmin's face softened and he relaxed into his seat again.

 

'Ahhh, thought you want to lay some rules. About… you know. Or something.'

 

Silence filled the car when Kyuhyun kept his eyes trained on the road and Sungmin picked at his cuticles. Suddenly it was uncomfortable and stuffy and it had nothing to do with the heat outside the car because the AC was blaring at the full power and it was maybe even a little too cold because Kyuhyun felt goosebumps on his arms.

 

A sigh brought his attention back to Sungmin.

 

'Listen Kyu.' How strange was that the nickname sounded so different from this man? 'We can't have these awkward moments whenever either of us slip. It's not as if we don't know what's wrong. Either about my panic attacks or… her.' He made an indistinct gesture, more like flailing than anything else. 'I'm going to reach out here and hope you'll follow.' He took a deep breath. 'So I talked with my mom on the phone. Sunny's parents are suing for reparations cause according to them I k-killed her by negligence.' Sungmin stuttered at the word but continued in a hard voice. 'Still, they don't want to meet Sungrin and all the documents and witnesses will state that I was as devoted as I could be, given my lack of proper knowledge to do anything more. I heaved for an hour on Wednesday after the call, though I know everything will be fine. That's why I didn't call in the evening.'

 

Kyuhyun swallowed and considered pulling over. Would he be able to bring them to the fair at this rate? Sungmin wanted to talk, and he was perfectly right in it. But Kyuhyun talked about it only with Siwon and he wasn't sure he wanted anyone else to try discussing this with him. However, Sungmin wasn't anyone.

 

'You should have. Even come.' He stated because there was no way he would jump out of the topic. Sungmin might have started that as an ice breaker, but his issue was marginally more severe right now. 'The fact that Jojin is looming over us~' he put the emphasis on the word for a reason. 'Doesn't give me free pass from your problems. Right now all I can do is wait and you have to see that, while she's the embodiment of my and Chunghee's nightmares, my reaction to her is much less violent. I was taken by surprise in the hospital because I never expected her to put herself on Chunghee's contact list. Other than that I was already expecting her arrival. It's the time of the year.' He scrunched his face at the words, but he knew how true they were. It was like feeling rain in the bad injury. Sighing, he gripped the wheel. 'I'll give her the money, it won't change all that much for me. I just hope she'll agree to not interact with Hee this time.'

 

He chanced a quick look at Sungmin and saw the man was staring straight ahead, tension obvious in his stiff shoulders. Without much thought Kyuhyun reached over the gears, placed his hand on Sungmin's thigh and squeezed it.

 

The grateful smile that answered the gesture was enough for him. The conversation wasn't over, but it was at least started.

 

***

 

Sungmin didn't know if he should laugh or try to find the tiniest hiding spot on the fair as he looked at his friends.

 

Currently, Siwon was seated in a tiny car on the carrousel for small kids, his imposing form towering over the rest of the occupants of the ride, his legs folded and sticking on the sides as he kept pretending that the machine was too fast for him. His yells were bringing out laughter out of the kids around him, especially his own children, Chunghee and Sungrin as well, who were girdling him on the different animals and replicas of motors and cars.

 

Most of the parents approved of the show, laughing as well or shaking their heads in amusement, probably wondering how much off the rocker was that grown man. However, there were a few who stared blank at the scene, or openly scowled. Sungmin felt the urge to drop some itching powder into their pants to loosen them up a little. This was supposed to be a fun day for kids and they were spoiling it with their sour moods.

 

'Why do I want to get on and scream like a mad man with him.'

 

Sungmin looked to the side at the source of the comment. Kyuhyun had the biggest grin on his face, his cheeks flushed from the heat and nose already dark red because he forgot to slap some sunscreen on it.

 

'Because you're as much of a dork as he is? There is no other reason why you two are such good friends.' Sungmin supplied the answer and clapped his boyfriend on the shoulder before turning and joining Sooyoung at the blanket. Chois brought whole picnic with them and hijacked a good spot under the tree, a little on the side from the all festivities.

 

Plopping onto the soft blanket he huffed tiredly. And it was just a couple of hours after they arrived.

 

'Just thank God that Kibum and Hyo already had the tickets for that aqua park and couldn't come.' Sooyoung laughed at him. 'Though Youngwoon will be here soon and then you can say goodbye to any sitting. Chunghee, Youngjin and Jisoo will run off to play somewhere and that debacle of your kid will surely try to follow them.'

 

Sungrin groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. He knew that she was speaking the truth. Sungrin never allowed the boys to be more than a meter away from him, even if he had to run all the time after them. Of course, it helped with developing his motor skills and after only a few weeks Sungmin didn't have to worry about his son falling anymore. But that also made him so much harder to catch.

 

'Don't worry, Minyoung pretends she doesn't care but she'll stick to them like glue.'

 

Sungmin felt a cool and wet something touch his forearm and he took his arm off his eyes. Sooyoung was pressing a can of soda to his skin. He took it with gratitude and downed half of the content. He wished the heat let go at least a little. There was no rain for two months, clouds were sometimes covering the sky but it only provided shelter from the sun because the temperatures were unrelenting.

 

In overall, this seemed like a perfect afternoon. He didn't even want to think he would have to get back to work the next day, squeeze into a suit and pretend he wanted to be there. At least he could see Sungjin during lunch since the boy's university was close-by, but if given a choice he would much prefer to spend time with Sungrin. But he knew he couldn't give his son the same chance at development as he was getting at the daycare where he was interacting with older kids most of the time.

 

There was a trump of many small feet against the ground and in a moment Sungmin got pushed more into the ground when a squishy body threw itself onto his front. Air got pushed out of his lungs and for a second he saw black spots dancing before his eyes, but otherwise his reaction was instinctive. He wrapped his arms around Sungrin's body and hugged the laughing boy. Sungrin held onto his neck tight, squeezing as hard as he could before he let go and looking with sparkling eyes at his father smacked his lips.

 

'Juice!' He exclaimed.

 

Chuckling Sungmin pulled a spill-cup from the small thermo-bag. It was kept at cool temperature, but not as cold as to cause any cough later.

 

The boy attached his mouth to the cup's teat like a limpet and greedily drank the juice while still seated in Sungmin's lap.

 

Sungmin looked up at the others who joined him and Sooyoung. Siwon was carrying Jiyoung on one hip and Jiyah on the other. The girl looked dazed and tired, her eyelids were falling and she seemed pretty limp in her father's arms. Sooyoung quickly took her from her husband and laid her on the green baby cushion. It was obvious that the thing was already used for some time, at places the stitches were strained and home-fixed with different shades of threads. An inheritance after the girl's two older brothers. Flushed Jisoo immediately settled next to his sister and patted her head gently.

 

Kyuhyun had overexcited Chunghee in his arms. The boy's legs were kicking on the sides of his father's body, as he kept explaining something while Kyuhyun's eyes were entirely focused on his face. The affection on Kyuhyun's face made Sungmin sigh and he kissed Sungrin's head, damp under the boy's cap.

 

'You're wasting daylight sitting like that!'

 

Everyone turned their heads towards the source of the voice.

 

Youngwoon was striding towards them firmly, a huge grin on his face, while Jongwoon walked slightly behind him with hands pushed into his jeans pockets. Minyoung and Youngjin were carrying backpacks, which they dropped right next to the pile of bags that formed at one of the blanket's corners. Youngwoon gently set the thermo-bag on the ground.

 

'Who wants ice-cream?' His eyes sparkled with mischief as he looked up and around at the kids.

 

A collective shrill filled the space around them, making a few parties surrounding either glare or simply observe them. All of the kids encircled him. Sungrin pushed off Sungmin's lap, the man barely managed to put his cap on again, and rushed toward Youngwoon. Chunghee on the other hand first looked questioningly at Kyuhyun and when given a nod wiggled his way down his father's body and joined the group to wait for treats.

 

Kyuhyun plopped down next to Sungmin, when the elder leaned back on his elbows to comfortably look at the commotion. Their arms were pressed together and Kyuhyun hesitantly nudged Sungmin's hand, feeling the territory. But when slightly shorter, than his own, fingers entwined with his he just smiled and let all the worries sail away for the day.