“Music is my everything” -Taeyang

                                           Yongguk

Yongguk stayed in the bench for a few minutes, not really wanting to rush things since him, Himchan and Mr Yoo would have to stay after the services to clean up.

He looked around to find Himchan only to see that he was hugging Hwa young and coaxing her, Yongguk felt a pang of jealousy come out again. Why did he always feel like this when he saw Hwa young being really close to Himchan.

He knew it was just a friendship thing, but how far did this friendship thing go on? Himchan mouthed him an “I’m fine” and he proceeded to empty out from the bench to go to the dining room.

As he was walking he felt a hand touch his shoulder and looked to his right to find an extremely attractive female that was wearing a very slim tight dress with heels and a veil covering her face but it was see through. The first thing he noticed was her shocking red lipstick and demure look.

“Are you by chance the one that talked last on the podium” Her every word seemed to flawless enunciate every word, it would make a person mesmerized just by her voice.

“A-Ah Y-Yes...and you might be…?” He stumbled on his words and she laughed a little, “Sorry I should introduce myself” She stuck her hand out.

“My name is Charlene, I’m not Korean as you can tell but I grew up in South Korea and so I’m bilingual” The realization hit him, that’s why she sounds so flawless in her Korean He was about to poorly struggle in talking in English, despite him still learning he couldn’t really initiate a full conversation with any native speakers.

“I’m Bang yongguk, nice to meet you” He stuck out his hand and both of them bowed “since we’re both headed to the dining room we might as well talk.”

Yongguk was really curious as to why he approached him so suddenly, what was her intention he wondered. She began to talk to him about the reason she came to the funeral.

“Actually Mr Eung...he was a very close friend of mine, he took care of me when I became an orphan in South korea” he listened intently still being cautious of Charlene, it was really sudden that she approached him. And also he felt like something was wrong in the pit of his stomach.

“Afterwards he got me into landing in a position as a PR at a company in South korea, then onwards I never heard from again, I felt really indebted to him. He was very successful by the time I had been able to support myself financially. And when I heard that he was gone...I didn’t know what to do.” She stopped eating and a somber look came over her.

“I wish I had gotten the chance to say Thank you again…” He heard her sniffle and saw a tear come down her cheek, panicked he looked around for some napkins and finally found some near a table and handed one to her.

“Thanks” She dabbed on her cheek, “I know that it may have sound silly but I felt so close to him and now he’s just...gone” He felt his seat shift uncomfortably, something about her doesn’t seem right, if only he could get out…

“Hey, Yongguk I was looking all over for you!” He sighed in relief as his CEO Mr Yoo came and looked at the female sitting across from him. “Well who’s this?”

She stood up and shook his hands “Charlene, pleasure to meet you” “Mr Yoo, CEO of TS Entertainment”  He shook her hand and turned to Yongguk. “Making friends are we”

He started at him a bit not knowing what to say but all he said was “Well she approached me, she told me how Mr Eung had saved her from being an orphan.” Mr Yoo’s smile sort of faltered when he mentioned orphan.

“Well I think Yongguk has things he needs to do, I’m very sorry ma’am, it was really nice meeting you too, see you around.” He felt being dragged now with Mr Yoo and wondered what the heck was going on with him?

“Ah well it was nice meeting you Yongguk and Mr Yoo, I guess I’ll see you around, she slipped out from her seat and walked with such elegance it was to make a man stop and stare, even at a funeral.” Once she was out of view Mr Yoo had pounced on him

“Yongguk. Can we talk. Now.” That voice can only mean he’d done something wrong, but what?” he felt an immense sense of fear as his CEO was one of the few people that can whip you up to shape or even scold you for weeks.

He walked with Mr Yoo to the room that was reserved for “family only”, which they technically they were and were welcomed to come in to drown out the noise.

Once there, he knew that all he needed to was shut his eyes and hear him talk, but instead a more softer voice came from him, something he’d never had coming from him. “Did you do anything with her, Charlene I mean”

He looked at him and felt like that wasn’t a usual punishment but instead felt confused “N-No what would make you say that, its not like I kissed her at the first encounter, I’m not like that” Mr Yoo’s shoulders had been relieved and he sighed a relief.

“No, not like that, I mean you didn’t say anything about Mr Eung, or any other information correct?” He was confused, as why would saying anything about Mr Eung would be a bad thing.

“No, I didn’t she was talking about Mr Eung and I just kept silent nodding, I swear to you CEO-Nim” He nodded and sternly told him off. “I don’t want you saying anything else about Mr Eung, especially to people like her.”

“Why”

“Those people are deceptive, they trick you into their one-sided lies and then catch you by surprise on the other end.”

“What makes you say that she’s two-faced”

“Because I’ve experienced with people like her, just promise to be more careful.” He nodded and went out the room, he didn’t really have an appetite and just sat on one of the couches. The tiredness finally got to him and he ended up drifting into sleep…

                                              Mr Yoo

Finally realizing he didn’t say anything to that woman he sat down on a couch and took out his little bottle of brandy. He needed a little drink just to calm himself down. He couldn’t get his eyes of her eyes. They were filled with pent up anger and masked by innocence.

He sipped a bit of the brandy before swishing around in the bottle, but that woman...it can’t be exactly her...can it? Mr Yoo had been warned by Shin that he had helped a woman in the past who ended up nearly killing him for the inheritance.

It was like the past repeating twice all over, right before his very eyes, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that she’ll go after Hwa young. He needed to protect her from all his father’s past secrets and biggest rivals, especially the ones that are willing to kill her just for the fame and fortune that Shin had invested.

he sighed and weighed the consequences and choices he’ll have to make in the end, they may not be the ones that Hwa young will like, but its what needs to happen ultimately if she is to have a better life.

“If only you were here Shin, you’d be able to make these choices much more easier than me all by myself.” He muttered as he ended up drinking the whole bottle of brandy and stretching his arms out.

The only things he needed to worry for is Hwa young’s safety and the truth of telling her who her father really was. He felt the pit of his stomach dropping and felt immense worry, what if he can’t really protect her? Who is? Upon thinking he immediately thought of Himchan and Yongguk and felt a bit of relief.

If anyone he’d put his trust and faith into protecting Hwa young it would be the two boys, no doubt about it. They were just as protective when it came to the rest of B.A.P and so they would do the same for Hwa young.

He’d have to give that role to them, it really is such an ugly war - Love, when one person loves another so much but can let go when that person loves someone else. They’d go to the depths and sacrifice everything to make feel noticed by that person they love.

He laughed “what a series of unfortunate events” He lay there reminiscing of his past days.

                                              Yongguk

He ended up falling asleep on the couch until he heard the sound of Himchan’s voice annoying him in his ear.

“Heyyy~ Yongguk, Psst Are you awake, I know you are you big grizzly bear.”

Grizzly Bear? What sort of name is that to give to me He grew annoyed as he felt Himchan pestering him, slowly he grabbed the pillow beside him and when Himchan felt close enough he hit him with it.

“YA WHAT THE HELL BANG YONGGUK?!” Himchan had been totally baffled and began to make a ruckus as the smack in the face with pillow had surprised him.

“Serves you right you rascal, you don’t wake me up when I’m trying to sleep” He muttered under his breath as Himchan continued to go on a rage.

“I think you should leave him, he seems tired” he heard the soft voice of Hwa young and smiled a little, finally a little peace.

He felt the couch being occupied and opened his one eye to see that Hwa young was sitting on the couch reading one of the brochures. He can feel his heart beat

a little faster and ignored it completely, he needed to just focus on sleeping.

“You still awake?” He heard hwa young talk to him but she didn’t know he was awake so he kept still not wanting to wake up. He heard her sigh but still continued to talk, “maybe I’m just being paranoid or just really scared but I now since the service is over, I’m soon going to be taking over the company.”

“I should be happy than sad, but somewhere deep down I know that I don’t know if I’ll be able to take care of my father’s company. I question myself so much because I’m so inexperienced and maybe with time I’ll get better. But right then and here and now, I’m moving forward I’ll….I’ll be going to South korea and start a fresh new life.”

She laughed a little and softly she spoke “I don’t know what’s exactly right or wrong anymore….”

Hearing her talk about her worries made him want to just go over and hug her, he really wanted to, just feeling her in his arms would be secure and safe. But it felt like he was just so distant from her even though they’re just a few inches away he still can’t get enough courage to speak up.

For sure its so simple for Himchan and maybe its just how he is and that he naturally is confident. But it always did make him wonder at how he was so easily able to transition into conversation or engage with the fans with a simple gesture. He wasn’t able to talk till he was 5 and had trouble with interacting with others.

He sighed deep inside, he wanted to improve he just needed to practise more, if it takes him 5 years or 5 months to master his confidence he will.

The only place he can feel confident is when he’s with music, it was there he can be the most confident person he can be. He doesn't know why he can be so confident when rapping or listening to music. Maybe its the way it can fit to any form and that he was able to mold and shape it into a new song.

That’s why he would constantly lose himself in music, because it was his comfort zone, his secret place where he can openly let out what he was feeling.

It will be there that he will slowly start to win Hwa young’s heart.

Step by step.