“Music is oxygen If you don’t have oxygen, you can’t breathe. To me music is something that’s always there. Where ever I go its a part of me, without it, I can’t live. It breathes with me

-G-Dragon BIGBANG

  Hwayoung

Hwa young looked through the tin box and took out all of the belongings her father had, she first opened up the slip of paper that lay there first. She began to read and realized that this was written a few weeks before.

Hway young-ah,

I know that it may be hard but if you're reading this I'm gone by then and that I haven't really explained everything to you. I promised that you would take over the company and it may seem overwhelming but there are some really great people who will help you along the way. This tin box was all for you, everything belongs to you, especially that necklace I had originally bought it for your mother but she told me to give it to you when you were older. I also have that polaroid camera I've kept for a long time, it still works but I think it'll need more film. Take care of it and make new memories with it, I know you will. My greatest wish for you is to be happy. If that means finding a guy and settling down, or traveling the word, whatever it is I want you to be happy. Because along down that road I know that you'll hate me, and that's the honest truth because I was never the perfect father for your. But I want you to truly be happy, and I wish I could see that smile on your face, I'm sorry my darling. I really am.

Your loving father

       “I wish he could stop being so cryptic and just tell me straight up” Hwa young muttered under her breath unaware that tears had spilled down her face. She started to sniffle and didn't realize footsteps approach till she heard a voice spoke.

"I guess its a bad time asking you if you’re alright." She looked up to find Himchan looking with a face full of worry and you couldn't keep your emotions in check.

"I-I just d-don't understand why he'd do all of this, its all so confusing and I just don't know what to do" She still felt the tears coming and Himchan sat down next to you.

"Here" He handed you a handkerchief "You might as well use it since I don't think you look at your greatest"

She laughed a little and took the handkerchief and wiped her tears but it still didn't make her feel better and Himchan clucked his tongue.

"I really don't know what to say but that you'll always have someone there to catch you when you fall, I'm here if you ever need a shoulder to cry on" He pointed to his shoulder, even though you weren't the touchy type you weren't in the mood to be choosy.

You leaned your head on his shoulder and felt more tears spill down your face as Himchan caressed your hair and hugged you closer.

"You can let it all out, you don't need to keep it all to yourself" His calm words soothed her as she felt at ease.

      A few minutes later you fell asleep like a little baby, Himchan smiled and then he suddenly felt his heart pound a bit more quicker from before but he ignored it. He slowly got up and carried you back into the house but unaware that another person was watching.

     Yongguk watched the whole scene from afar and yet he felt a pang of jealousy even though he didn't show it, he shook his head. It was silly to think he could fall for you, not after what he'd done.

-The next day-                                                                      

The funeral was held on Sunday, Hwa young and her mother were selective of the guests that came in since they didn’t want anyone to come, but simple chose people who were close to their father and the family. Hwa young paced around nervously since she was set to deliver the Eulogy in a few minutes. She could feel the tension of her grip as she was holding onto the paper tightly.

She felt a hand gently fall onto her's and look beside her to see Himchan.

"Hey, relax you look like you're going to end up running in a wall" He smiled reassuringly and she tried to relax. .

"Well, easy for you to say, I feel like the whole burden's on my shoulders , I'm giving a eulogy to my father its not exactly the most relaxing thing in the world.”

"Well" Himchan began "Not the most relaxing but just take a deep breath and let your mind go for a few minutes, then collect your thoughts. Trust me it gets easier when you're not anxious before and end up making mistakes talking"

"How are you so experienced in this, you might as well be my anxiety counsellor" Hwa young let out a small laugh as Himchan shrugged.

"I learned this from performing many times in front of a crowd, just relax and then finally deliver" Himchan gave her a thumbs up.

Before she could even respond back, she heard the pastor call her name to give the eulogy and Himchan mouthed a "fighting" as she walked down the aisle towards the stand.

It took her a moment to breath but once she opened her eyes she felt like she was ready, and began to talk.

"Well...my father was a special man in terms of him being gifted; he could play the guitar and piano plus compose and record. He was the one that influenced me to start a career in music and promised me the company inheritance. On TV and social media he was well respected and loved by everyone. But off screen he was just like any regular person, who was a parent trying to raise a daughter. I loved him very much, despite him being gone most of the time and the times he'd be absent for my recitals and achievements. But he still found time to spend with me at moments and we would either walk to the park or be in the music room, helping me on a new song or get a music lesson from him. A lot of the memories I had were with my father since I was an only child...and well he really did love me. I...I can't get him back or go back in time and stop it, but what I can do is try and live to my father’s legacy. I can follow in his footsteps and inherit the company, but I’ll stay true to myself. Since its what he would have wanted, and nonetheless I’m proud to be his daughter, so thank you for coming and this’ll be my last goodbye to him.

By then she realized she had tears in her eyes and lowered her head down to avoid people looking at her crying.

“Thank you Hwa young, this concludes the funeral, if there would be any wanting to speak you may.” The pastor said, a few people had raise their hands including Himchan and Yongguk.

She stepped down with her mother throwing her arms over her telling her it’s alright, Hwa young tried to hold back the tears till the end. She saw one by one talk about her father whether it be a close colleague or a business partner. They finally saw Himchan and Yongguk stand up to deliver their sayings of her father.

Himchan spoke up first, “Well, I would still like to say a big condolence to Mrs Eung and Hwa young, may he rest in peace” He nodded towards to Hwa young’s direction and continued on

“This death seemed so sudden, I didn’t know how to feel or react I just felt like there was a big hole in my life that I can’t get back. The time in getting to know Mr Eung, he was what everyone had said, kind, generous, humorous and great to be around. Even though he was highly regarded as a well established CEO, he didn’t brag or drag anyone under. He treated everyone with respect. To us as B.A.P he meant to all of us like a father away from our father’s. He treated us all like he was our sons and gave us so much encouragement, I know that he’ll be proud of us. I hope to that he’s resting peacefully, knowing that we’ll make him proud like a father would be to his sons”

With that Himchan finished Yongguk stepped up to the podium, she saw that he was a little nervous but went with it.

“I would also extend my deepest condolences to Ms Eung and Hwa young. Moving on I don’t really have anything to prepare, but for me personally, I just want to saw how much of a inspiration he means to me. He’s always been the one to listen to our tracks and encourage and give us criticisms. The way he cared for us were like a father taking care of his son. He not only became a really great friend but someone I could also rely on. We would talk often and mention to me how he misses and loves his family very much from always working and traveling. I remember telling me that I should always stand back up no matter what and believe in what I love. And so I do my best to continue and hope that he’ll be looking down on us watching.”

And with that they both bowed towards Hwa young and Ms Eung as they went back to their seats. The pastor had stood up and said that the services were over and that there were refreshments in the dining hall and people began milling about either heading to the dining room or talking to each other or looking at the casket with Mr Eung in it.

Hwa young just sat there as her mother told her she’d get food and drinks since they’ll be staying afterwards to clean up. She stiffly nodded and got up to look at her father laying still.

“I...miss you so much, more than you’ll ever know” She kissed him on top of his forehead and felt a tear roll down her cheek again.

This pain was unbearable. How does she expect to move on?

                                            Himchan

Once everyone had split up and went either quietly chatting with other people or going to the dining room, Himchan looked around to find Hwa young, he immediately found her standing near her father’s casket. He walked up and saw her kissing the top of his forehead before sniffling.

he took out his handkerchief “here, I might as well let you keep it since you need it more than I do” Hwa young smiled weakly at her as she took it and dabbed her cheek.

“Thanks himchan, I guess its my good luck charm, sorry for using it a lot” He laughed a little “A fan gave it to me, but the only thing I’ve done is just carry it around, its more of a use to you than it is to me”

She smiled a little but he knew that she was still feeling sad and he wrapped an arm around her and brought her closer, “I know its hard, but it gets better, I promise I really do Hwa young” She buried her face into his chest.

He felt the same emotions surge but restrained for him to release it. “I hope you’re Himchan, I hope it does get better’ She muffled and stood with Himchan, as time stood still.

He noticed Yongguk looking towards his generally direction and mouthed a “I’m fine” Yongguk nodded and went out to go towards the dining hall.

He looked at Hwa young as she looked up to him, “Come one you should eat, I don’t want you fainting” She smiled a little as she linked arms with him.

He knew that he was on the borderline of friendship and love and yet, it didn’t feel like he was. The continued to walk, Himchan ignored his gut feeling that someone was watching them.

They were both being watched by someone who shared a dark and dangerous past with Hwa young’s father…

[A/N] Mwa haha its a secret saved for next chapter :P I’m really sorry for being so absent, I’ve been just really busy with school and work @@ But I know that I enjoy writing this story like I said and I’ll be soon getting a poster ^^ its my first time doing these things so I hope it turns out well :)