A/N:

Hello! wow, it's like i'm making a comeback. This chapter has been on draft since forever and I wasn't able to put this up because of my internship. I really feel stressed. my last year in college is no joke. And I just wish I could go to Japan right now and stroll around Osaka. to make things worse, I got scolded (kind of) by my boss! , right? so forgive me if this short update doesn't give the story justice.

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The pain in her temple kept pulsating as she tried to recall what had been the most displeasing occurence in her dorm room a while ago. What she thought could be postponed for a little longer happened unexpectedly. She remembered Her father's strickened face when he saw Taeyeon and Jessica on her  couch straddling the former. Her daughter the back of the latter quite intimately. Well, damn. That was weird. She expected a battle. But a single "Kim Taeyeon" from her father pulled them away from their romantic reverie and frantic movements were apparent as they both fixed their flushed selves and stood up to greet the man in front of them.

"Fath-"
"Taeyeon, do you really hate me that much that you had to stoop so low just to get back at me?"
She held Jessica's hand. Whose fingers felt lifeless against hers. She tightened her grip. Aware of the hurt her girlfriend was feeling.

"She is my girlfriend!"

"Agirlfriend, you say?" His eyes turned into slits. As if telling the two that there existed no such joke in the world.

"I'll get you transferred. And you are shifting. My word is final."

"You can't control my life!"

"Don't let yourself get burned, Taeyeon. Im doing this for you. What disgrace are you doing!?"

"i never asked you for anything. And this isnt a disgrace! You're hurting me with how you want me to be father!"

"You are a Kim. A Kim, Taeyeon. Put a little decency to your actions and spare our family the shame."

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Deafening. It was the silence that consumed their next minute as they were trying to decipher what really happened. Taeyeon was still holding on tightly to the hand attached to hers. Evident shock was plastered to Jessica's face. Slowly, she tried to recuperate from what transpired, But she couldn't. She never expected a man so capable of breaking her self-esteem that fast. Jessica, who was a tiny dot on the face of the planet even felt more introverted, unsure. She shouldn't have put Taeyeon into this mess- this bittersweet mess she had been losing herself into. Was she really holding Taeyeon back from greatness? That by being with her, Taeyeon lost the opportunity to a fair introduction to the scrutinizing society they are forced to hide from?

"I'm sorry"

"No," Jessica shook her head and engulfed Taeyeon into a desperate hug, "im sorry i put you through this. Im getting too selfish. Im sorry. I understand...if you want to follow your dad. No, its best to. Tae..." pool of tears ran down her face. She kept on holding her breath, trying to alleviate the invisible wound in her chest and maybe just for this last time she'd crushed herself into Taeyeon and let go and act like it never happened. Like they never happened.

"Sica, what are you trying to do!?" the other said in a whisper etched with apparent disbelief. "This is between me and my father, I will talk to him about this.
It wasnt silence that Taeyeon needed for assurance.

"Are u having doubts on us now?" she said, and for the first time in her life was she dreadful to hear an answer to a question.
It caught the other girl by surprise.

"I'm not! But your dad almost disowned you! Didnt u see the look in his eyes?" he looked disgusted, Taeyeon, she thought, except she couldn't really say it. Afraid to know if this beautiful mess would get tidied up by her girlfriend's father.

"We were already not in good terms even before we got together, Sica. You know it. Im not gonna let him meddle with any decision I have for myself anymore. I'm so tired of being his daughter," Taeyeon's shallow breathing and closed eyes were momentarily the two things Jessica was focused on. She let the things her girlfriend said seep through mind. It allowed her to think. Deeply.

"Dont. Dont hate your dad Taeyeon. Dont get blinded by your hatred, Ok? Talk to him and tell him your side. You are your father'daughter. I'm sure he only wants what's best for his princess."  

Reaching out to the hand on her neck, Tae leaned closer allowing their foreheads to touch.
"Will you be okay alone tonight? Im going home to talk to him."

"I will be. "

"Really? I can just leave tomorrow."

It would be comfortably nice if a pair of hands Jessica was so accustomed to since she moved in at her girlfriend and Soo's dorm would keep the uncertainties at bay and wouldnt haunt her in her dreams. But she knew this problem wasn't about her. And she had to let Taeyeon resolve this on her own. As vague as it was, She would trust her girlfriend to do the right thing in general. Whatever that right thing may be.


that night, she slept alone.

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"Taeyeon, dear"
"where's appa?"
"upstairs. In his study"

"is he still angry?"

all the while, her eyes were staring somewhere far away from her mother. She wouldnt be able to supress her bottled up emotions anymore if she would even steal a glance. Afraid that her mother would feel disgusted, and That her daughter, whom she raised to be a fine young lady and was expected to date a guy, was doing the opposite.

"not angry, more like upset."

"im sorry, umma... That you had to know abt us like this. Ive become disrespectful of you and i feel like ive wasted your efforts in making me and appa reconcile. But im not sorry that im with jessica... She keeps me grounded... and sane... and secure and we love each other. But that's not the point, i know it's about me. Everything is. Im sorry... That you had to have a daughter like me."

"hush," her mother, surprised with the things she said, enveloped her in a tight, reassuring hug.

"no matter what you do, or what you say and think, you are my daughter. Don't ever think of anything like that, okay? Taeyeon, it always hurts parents when their child thinks so lowly of themselves. stop thinking like that, please."

All Taeyeon could do was nod as she hugged her mother tight.