To: Fany

Fany. Where do you live?

- Taeyeon

To: Taeng

Down the street from you

- Fany

Down the street...

Everything was making sense to Taeyeon. How Taeyeon could always see a little tiredness in Tiffany whenever she laughed or smiled like nothing was wrong. How they stopped bumping into each other less frequently at their secret place. Why Tiffany might be moving away. Her heart was beating fast, so fast she was afraid her heart would rip through her chest. was closing, and she screamed at herself. How could she not notice? She couldn't remember how many times she saw the flashing lights right outside her window that year. There were one too many times she wondered what was happening down the street. Down the street. All she could think and hope for was that she was wrong, that it wasn't Tiffany who was hurt or sick. That maybe, just maybe.. Tiffany didn't get enough rest that night, and the reason why they didn't end up at the same place at the same time was because she had a real life to live.

Taeyeon immediately called Tiffany. Tiffany didn't pick up the first time.  She didn't pick up the second time either.
"God damn it, Tiffany! Pick up the damn cal-"

"Hello?" Tiffany's raspy voice answered the call. It sounded like she had just woken up.. or was in pain. She couldn't tell.
"....." Tiffany was greeted by silence.
"Taetae?.."
"F-fany. Where are you? Are you okay?"
"How are you, Tae? It's nice to hear your voice again.."
"You're okay right, Fany?" Tiffany giggled. Taeyeon answered a question with a question once again.
"haha, I'm okay.." She sounded a bit breathless, but Taeyeon didn't want to believe it.

Taeyeon released the breath she had been holding in. Fany is okay..she laughed. She closed her eyes and clutched her heart. She could see Tiffany's smile right in front of her. She was trying really hard to contain her tears, she was so afraid. She wasn't going to let Tiffany hear her cry, but in fact Tiffany had seen her cry before.

"The ambulance..Does it c-" Taeyeon asked quietly before she was cut off, worried she'd hear something that could possibly cut the air from her.
"Comes for me. Yeah.."
"Are you sick? Is it severe? I miss you."

The last words just slipped out of . She noticed how it didn't flow together, but she needed to say it.

"Tae..i miss you too. I want to see you bu-"
"Where are you? I'm coming." Taeyeon put her shoes on, grabbed her wallet and keys ready to dash out of the front door.
"I'm heading to the airport right now.. Y-you won't make it on time." She could see Tiffany's head hang low. Her voice quieting.
"I'm coming! Wait for me."
"Don't.. Don't make it harder for me. I left you a letter. It's in your mailbox.. I didn't think you'd contact me, but.. everything i wanted to say to you is in that letter. Goodbye, Taeyeon." Tiffany ended the call.

Taeyeon was in the taxi. She held onto the letter tightly. She didn't cry, she wanted to. She got the driver to speed by offering a large amount of money. Her dad was a business person and gave her more than she needed for allowance. Cutting the time to get there in half, she was able to see Tiffany for a slight second.

"Fany! .. Fany! I'm here! I love you!" Tiffany turned hearing her name being called, and it was like Taeyeon fell in love all over again.
"Tae..." she whispered. They locked eye contact. She felt sad because she was already passed security, about to board the plane.
"Tiffany, we have to go. We're late enough." Siwon ushered her. "The plane is about to leave."

Tiffany wouldn't move. She felt sorry. Sorry for leaving Taeyeon there without any words. Taeyeon stood there frozen staring at Tiffany. She couldn't accept it. She had never seen Tiffany so sad before. Before boarding Tiffany hoped to have left Taeyeon with something that would stay with her forever. She wiped her tears, gave her best eye smile and mouthed the words, "I love you, Kim Taeyeon" and lifted her pinky, "I promise you, i do."

It broke her heart that it was the last time she was going to see Tiffany. She crouched down wherever she stood, covered her face with her palms and let out sobs. Taeyeon felt like everything was going wrong. She didn't understand anything. The only person she let into her bubble was leaving. One moment Tiffany was hand in hand happily with her laying on the grass then in a blink of an eye, she was sick and leaving. She didn't know what was happening. Tiffany didn't deserve this Taeyeon thought. She was too bright, too beautiful, too young to go through all of this. Taeyeon sobbed louder and louder each time the memories would cross her mind of Tiffany. The letter in her hands made it worse.

Dear My TaeTae,

I miss you. It's been a week.. I haven't heard from you so i'm assuming you don't want to see me anymore. I understand completely. How are you? I'm doing well, kind of.. ha.. The truth is I'm dying, Taeyeon. I live in the house that gets visited by those red flashing lights constantly. I''m going to the US for surgery. I'm the first person with this sickness they will be doing surgery on. I'm trying to be hopeful.. I have this rare disease that likes to the life out of me on random days. They're trying to figure out what's really wrong. Maybe it's a new cancer or something.. You're surprised aren't you? All of those interrupted sleepless nights you had were because of me. I'm sorry for your tired nights and for not telling you. I came with lunch every time the ambulance came so.. i hope that helped? You tend to go on those days..I'm sorry for being selfish and becoming friends with you after knowing that there was a possibility that i'd be leaving you like this. I do think it was really funny how we met. Thinking about it now, it would've been better to let you knock the side of my head with that branch. I wouldn't have to write this letter now. What am i rambling about.. Kim Taeyeon.. you just made me smile all the time, and i liked that feeling a little too much to not come back.

Ah, thank you.. for your diary and sketches. I didn't know at all.. you hid it so well. I thought Wooyoung was real, too. If there's one thing i hate, it's the fact that you lied to me. Why didn't you tell me any sooner? .. I could've - nevermind. I don't think we'll meet after this. I wished i was able to spend my last days in Korea with you, but i understood why you didn't want to. Instead i reread your diary over and over again. You're very sneaky for sketching those images of me without me knowing. They're beautiful. I would return these to you, but i can't seem to do it.

I always wondered why you were always lost in your thoughts, and why you thought the world was cruel. I understand now. I know you have a lot of hurt inside of you, and i hope my presence helped a little bit even though you wouldn't let me hurt with you. It's okay to cry to someone every once in a while. Don't bottle it all up. I wouldn't trade you for the world, you know that? I don't know when i'll be back.. or if i'll be back at all. I'm scared, Taeyeon. I'm really scared.. I'm scared I won't be able to see you again.. What will happen to me? If anything goes wrong, know that I'm really happy to have met you. You're someone so important to me, someone i imagined to be in my life for a very long time. I'm thankful you let me into your space, thankful you let me listen to your words and thoughts, thankful for your kindness, and thankful for your time and company.

Most of all, I'm thankful you let me hold onto your hand.

Take care love,
Hwang Tiffany.

- you are my memories, everything else is irrelevent

On the next sheet Taeyeon read was a poem. It read:

The time may not
be prime for us,
though you are
a special person.

We may be just
two different clocks
that do not tock
in unison.
 

Taeyeon went home with a heavy heart. She never heard from Tiffany again, and it made her sad and depressed. Tiffany never contacted.. so that only led to one conclusion. After killing herself with thoughts, she learned to not let anyone else enter her bubble ever again. She became the person she was before she met Tiffany, but more blunt and aware of her surroundings.

----

4 years later

Taeyeon rarely visited her sacred place anymore. She was busy with college and graduating. She'd go every once in a while whenever she needed that space, but it hurt her to go at the same time. Instead she'd find herself outside a tiny cafe she fancied sketching things that popped in her mind. She drew from memory the swans by the lake. It was exactly how she drew them in her sketchbook. She drew leaves.. it was that time again, when they'd fall off the tree branches. She forgot where that sketchbook went and it made her feel empty.

"Are you.. Kim Taeyeon?"
"Who's asking?"

Taeyeon lifted her head from sketching seeing the person that only mattered to her - Fany.

-----

Author's note:
Wondering if i should end it here, extend the story to many more chapters, or write a sequel.
let me know in the comments! ^^ I'll mark as complete for now :D
but i already have everything else planned in my head for a continuation.. xD