"So let me get this straight. The government's suspected that there's been...foul play," Kyungsoo mumbles the euphemism distastefully after a brief pause, "...for awhile now. And it sent you three to investigate?"

"Why do you sound so skeptical?" Sehun asks through slanted eyes. 

Kyungsoo stares back suspiciously. "Possibly because you're just about the most useless intern I've ever had."

"I'll have you know that I'm a genius hacker, and the government considers me to be a national treasure."

"Hmm..." Kyungsoo runs his eyes up and down Sehun's young face with its frog-like expression of displeasure--the suspicion lingers. "If you say so."

Luhan lets out a soft chuckle, crinkling his eyes in a way that makes him look marginally less attractive than usual. "I'm glad you guys still have the mood for banter."

Kyungsoo musters a small smile in response. 

It's not quite true. He wasn't in the mood at all. Jongin had guided him back to the office after he had calmed down enough to breathe evenly and clear his tears, but it still felt unreal. Him, along with three government investigators in a small conference room, trying to ferret out the nefarious plot behind a baby-killing pill. What were the chances?

It was so far from what Kyungsoo had ever wanted.

After Jongin and Lu Han departed from his high school, Kyungsoo's life reverted back to the routine he had once endured unerringly. He ate breakfast with his father, whose spirits had strangely buoyed six months after his mother's death. He wandered to school in a blurry haze and sat in the front to listen to his music on his old walkman. Jongin had bought him an ipod and had downloaded some songs for him; it was locked away in a secret stash at the back of his closet. He couldn't bear to throw it away, but he never wanted to see it again. 

He ate lunch alone, away from the gossiping girls who couldn't stop questioning him as to why Jongin and Lu Han had left--but weren't you friends with them? didn't they tell you? If he were any less of a coward, he'd laugh in their faces. But he only knew how to run, so he ran to the rooftop and ate alone.

Evenings felt like recurring eternities, living the same lonely forever over and over again. He would lie his bed and stare at his ceiling, wondering what he had done wrong, thoughts running down an endless loop to nowhere and then back again. Sometimes he'd cry to himself, but always in a quiet, muffled way so that his father couldn't hear and worry. He never realize his father was hardly ever around in the evenings anyway, tiptoeing out of the house behind his son's back. 

Of course, he found out eventually, when his dad finally told him that he'd met a woman and that he'd like to marry again. 

Oh, Kyungsoo had said, not sure what to make of it. Congrats...I guess?

His father had smiled benignly, almost in excitement. She was a young single mother who'd moved to Seoul with her newborn daughter to escape the judgment of the closed-minded neighbors. She worked as a janitor in his company and had attracted him with her bright smile and heart wrenching vulnerability. He needed someone to protect, and he needed to forget. 

Their marriage was soon--he'd move in with her--does Kyungsoo want to come?--No, he supposed Kyungsoo could live on his own--But not to worry, he would always love Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo didn't believe a word of it. 

In this world, Kyungsoo had only himself, and that was the only truth that would ever matter. No one could help him, not his father, not Jongin, not the well-meaning teachers nor the sympathetic social workers. 

Kyungsoo snapped out of it. He had to.

He began to study again; he controlled what he ate; he played off the sympathies of his teachers. He needed to get his college degree and a job and feed himself and live well and prove them all wrong. He’d do it all. He had to.

But the world wasn’t fair to everyone.

He was so behind.

He could only get into a third rate college, and even then, he was only a middling student no matter how had he tried. Because hard work only got you so far in life--the rest was up to lady fortune. 

Kris's offer of employment came just when he was about to give up on all that. Really, it was just about to feel hopeless again, as if all his hard work would amount to nothing, when Wu Di Group gave him that call, and voila--he lives! 

At that moment, he felt as if he owed Kris the world. He'd work harder than he'd ever work before and he'd give Kris and this company everything he's got, he had thought at the time. He would be loyal, forever.

"You can help us trap Kris."

Kyungsoo shifted uncomfortably in his seat under the unsettling stare of Lu Han. He could feel the panic returning. "Trap...Kris?"

"He trusts you, doesn't he?" Lu Han asks. "You say he lets you see his most secret files."

"Well, I don't..."--I don't want to violate his trust--"I'm not sure. I mean I go over a lot of documents so I'm sure I've seen all the financial documents, but--"

"But do you look carefully?" Lu Han furrows his brows. "Do you read everything you sign and publish carefully? Nothing stood out to you?"

Kyungsoo could feel beads of sweat forming on his forehead. No, actually, he didn't read everything carefully. That is, he tried his best, but there was so much to do, and sometimes Kris just needed a quick signature and he hated to make Kris wait too long, and really, Kris always looked like he was so on top of things so--

A warm hand wrapped around his own cold and clammy fingers. Kyungsoo looks up and catches Jongin looking at him with a smile as he gives his fingers a gentle squeeze.

It's okay, he seemed to say with his chocolate brown eyes. I've got you covered.

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry. Nothing comes to mind."

Lu Han frowns and taps his fingers against the desk.

Sehun rolls his eyes. "Stop grilling him, Lu hyung. There's no reason for him to have been on the lookout."

"No, if he did bribe someone in government, the money must have come from the company. It must be reflected somewhere on the accounts," Lu Han responds. 

Kyungsoo peers uncertainly at Jongin who only continues to smile. It was almost a stupid smile, now that Kyungsoo thought about it--the kind of smile people had when something fantastic happened to them and they could barely believe their own luck. But they were in the middle of a hopeless criminal investigation--surely there was nothing fantastic about that. 

Jongin gave his hand another squeeze and smiled brighter.

"It's okay, Kyungsoo," Jongin says. "It's not your fault. Kris is pretty foxy—it'll take more than a careful account to catch onto him. And this is just a subsidiary in Korea—there are plenty of ways to fudge the accounts, you know that, Han.”

"Oh,” says Kyungsoo. He feels lame.

"Look, why don't we try something else? Do you know anything about any of these guys?"

Jongin pulls up a pdf on his laptop--it contains yearbook like photos of a number of men and women. They all look professional in their suits and their slick hair and barely-there smiles. He recognizes some of them--they were government officials.

"But I don't know them personally?" Kyungsoo ventures hesitantly.

"None? Look carefully."

Kyungsoo squints at the thumbnails--no, no, no, no...wait--

"--That one!"

"Which?"

"The one who looks bald. I've seen him come out from Kris's office. Kris said he was our guy in government..."

Alert, all three look at Kyungsoo intensely. "You're sure now?"

"I-I think so. I mean, his face really stands out...why, who is he?"

"He's a mid-level bureaucrat in the Ministry of Food and Drug Safety. We thought it'd be someone higher up, someone with more power." Jongin frowns. "But maybe he’s well-connected? Maybe he’s just a front? And I'm surprised that he came directly to the office. Is Kris being bold, or is there something else going on here--"

"Jongin," Lu Han says calmly, "You should probably report this to Minseok hyung. This is a big development."

Jongin nods. He turns to Kyungsoo and says, "I'm making the call outside of the building just in case. Sehun you should come with—Minseok hyung will probably want you to do some background checks on this guy while we talk.”

Sehun glances suspiciously at Lu Han, who merely returns a nonchalant smile. Sehun sighs and shrugs in acquiescence. He follows Jongin out the door.

Alone with Lu Han, Kyungsoo feels less than safe. He misses the warm comfort of Jongin’s hand. He sits stiffly in his chair and fiddles with his fingers.

Lu Han chuckles. “Why do I make you so nervous?

Kyungsoo frowns and retorts, “You don’t...I just don’t have anything to say to you.”

Lu Han scoots closer on his rolling chair and props his head with his arm on the table so that he can peer into Kyungsoo’s face.

“Ok, you really need to stop that.”

“Stop what?” Lu Han asks with a mischievous smile.

“Stop getting into my personal space.”

Lu Han laughs softly. “But it’s the only way you ever notice me.”

Kyungsoo blinks and spares a glance at Lu Han’s beautiful face. Why would he want someone like Kyungsoo to notice him? What a joke.

“No really, don’t look so doubtful,” Lu Han says, still staring at Kyungsoo. “You have peculiar charms, you know.” He lifts a slender finger to Kyungsoo’s face and brushes it against his cheek. “I think it’s your eyes...”

Kyungsoo flinches.

“...Or maybe you’re just too short and cute!” He finishes his sentence with an exclamation point and a laugh. Kyungsoo glares at him, but feels a little more at ease. “Shut up. I hate it when people say that.”

“Haha, but you are,” Lu Han insists. “I was so jealous of Jongin back then, you know.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen in surprise. “What?”

“Because we met first. Do you remember? When you first saw me and Jongin smoking by the tree. It was me that talked to you first.”

“Oh, uh...I guess?”

Lu Han pouts. “You don’t remember. But it was me. And I always thought I could steal you away from Jongin whenever I wanted to, but it seemed like I was wrong. You liked him too much,” he says wistfully. “You like him so much that you seem blind to everyone else.”

“Liked,” Kyungsoo corrects with a frown. “That’s over.”

“Is it?” Lu Han queries. “No more feelings for him?”

“Absolutely not. It’s been ten years, okay? People move on. I don’t know why both you and him expect me to still be hung up over—”

“—So you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you?”

“What?”

Lu Han doesn’t repeat himself—he merely swoops over to press his lips against Kyungsoo’s in a soft kiss. Surprised, Kyungsoo finds himself unable to react. He blinks his eyes in wonder as Lu Han’s face zooms large. It’s a surreal feeling, observing Lu Han’s long lashes flutter against his poreless, porcelain cheeks. Kyungsoo isn’t sure what to do.

Apparently impatient with Kyungsoo’s lack of response, Lu Han subtly presses harder, gliding his tongue across Kyungsoo’s plump lips in attempt to coax them open.

Kyungsoo snaps out of his stupor and roughly pushes Lu Han away. He wipes his lips with his shirt sleeve and glares questioningly at the other man. Lu Han wears an expression of resigned disappointment and sighs. “And here I thought I’d finally get some action after all these years.”

Kyungsoo opens his mouth to speak, but finds himself speechless with anger and confusion. Lu Han waves his hand dismissively at Kyungsoo’s noticeable ire and says, “No, please don’t make that expression at me. You’re breaking my heart. But now you know I wasn’t joking, right?”

“What the do you think—”

“I mean that you really are attractive!” Lu Han smiles cheekily. “In fact, I’ve been watching. Kris might have a thing for you too, you know.” He adds with a sense of faux nonchalance.

Kyungsoo frowns again—he seems to do that a lot around Lu Han. “Why do you say that?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Lu Han says with a shrug. “It’s just the way he looks at you. I bet he’d tell you things. If you asked nicely.”

The suggestion lingers in the air, tantalizing in its grotesque cynicism.

Jongin and Sehun walk back in. Jongin shoots a sharp glance at Lu Han, who smiles and scoots his chair back to his original place.

“Minseok hyung confirmed that there’s some weird activity going on in the guy’s account,” Jongin reports after he looks away from Lu Han.

“Apparently money’s been coming in and out and moving abroad. We’ll have to confirm with the foreign branches though,” Sehun supplements.

Jongin lays a hand gently on his shoulder. “You okay, Kyungsoo? I know this is overwhelming, but you’ve supplied us with really useful information. We’re a lot closer to the end now. Has Kris told you or let you see anything else?”

Lu Han looks at him meaningfully.

Kyungsoo feels cold.

***

“Kris isn’t seeing anyone today,” says the secretary. She looks frazzled and pale. Kyungsoo feels for her; no doubt she’s been the one picking up all the calls today.

“I just need to see him quickly, to see how he’s doing,” Kyungsoo pleads softly. The secretary is still hesitating when Kris pokes his head out office: “Let him in.”

Kyungsoo takes his seat gingerly and wonders where to start. The air feels heavy, weighing down on him, suffocating him with its moody significance. Kris hasn’t looked at him—he’s leafing through the mountain of papers on his desk, looking as composed as ever, if slightly tired. Kyungsoo wondered if he was made of iron.

“So you’re here to resign?” Kris says suddenly, startling Kyungsoo with his deep voice.

“What?”

“It won’t help you, you know. Now your resume’s tainted and as long as the company’s reputation is down, no one’s going to hire you.”

“No, I’m not here to resign! I just...” Kyungsoo swallows hard as he tries to formulate his lie. “I’m just here to check up on you. See how you’re doing. It’s a big mess we’re in.”

It wasn’t a complete lie, actually. Kyungsoo did want to know. He wasn’t heartless, and Kris had been his benefactor all these years. He couldn’t forget all that at the snap of Lu Han’s fingers.

Kris finally looks away from the papers and focuses his attention on Kyungsoo. It’s only then that Kyungsoo realizes that Kris too looks worn out, eyes darkened by lack of sleep.

“You’re worried about me?” Kris asks. His voice doesn’t have any overt intonations, but now that Kyungsoo’s observing carefully, he can hear the anxiety and the silent plea.

“Yes,” says Kyungsoo. It’s the truth.

Kris lets out a breath of air and slumps into his chair. Gone is the confident business man who graced Forbes’s 40 under 40; in his place remains only, well, the man under 40, hounded by the press, haunted by the death of unborn babies and fading mothers, facing the biggest failure of his life with no ways to atone.

“I didn’t know it would be so terrible,” he says, eyes staring blankly at Kyungsoo. “They told me the pills hadn’t passed regulatory muster, but it was just because the people at the ministry weren’t happy with us. We’re a Hong Kong firm trying to get into Korea, of course they’d give us a hard time. They told me if I just coughed up some money, we’d can get the pill to market and everything would be fine.”

Kyungsoo feels a numbing cold spread through his body as he takes in Kris’s words. “So you...did bribe them.”

“Everyone bribes, Kyungsoo,” Kris responds with a distracted smile. “That’s just how you play the game. They’re only after me now because I bribed and our product failed.”

“So you also knew that...that Jongin and Lu Han are—”

“—Are government spies? Sure. I mean, I didn’t at first; I really just wanted someone to stamp their approval over our accounts so that nothing looks suspicious. But then they broke into my office, so I figured out their identities.” Kris says. “They told you about all this?”

Kyungsoo nods slowly.

Kris smiles self-deprecatingly. “And you’re on their side, of course. The side of justice, or the side of ex-lovers, whatever.”

Kyungsoo starts: “How did you—”

“Oh please, I didn’t even have to investigate,” Kris says with a laugh. He gets up and walks around to where Kyungsoo sits and leans against his desk so that he can peer down at the smaller man. “Just the tension in the first meeting was enough to set off alarms to anyone.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say, so he just stares back helplessly. This wasn’t how it was supposed to work. He was supposed to be the one questioning Kris, wasn’t he? Finding out secret information and feeding it to Lu Han and Jongin so that this whole nightmare could be over? Kyungsoo tries to pull himself together. “It doesn’t matter. I have no relations to them now. I really just wanted to check on you.”

“Oh did you?” asks Kris with a sardonically raised brow.

“Yeah.” Then, feeling panicked, Kyungsoo can’t stop himself from asking, “And how did you manage to funnel the money over anyway? I had my eye on all the accounts and—”

“Would you go to Hong Kong with me?”

“—What?”

“We could make a run for it now. I can buy our tickets and we can fly out tonight, before they’ve gathered all the evidence. Actually, if we run for it, maybe they’ll never gather the evidence.”

“What are you talking about? We can’t just run for it!” Kyungsoo exclaims in disbelief.

Kris narrows his eyes. “We can’t? Or you won’t?”

“I-I can’t believe you would suggest that! And what does this have to do with me? Why should I run? Look, they’re going to catch you, Kris. It doesn’t matter if you run to Hong Kong now—Hong Kong will extradite you or something. You can’t run!”

Kris sighs. In a surprise move, he drops to his knees and leans forward to hug his arms around the seated Kyungsoo’s waist, nestling his head against Kyungsoo’s chest. “You’re so naïve,” he whispers. “You have no idea what’s happening and you can only believe what other people tell you, like a puppet.”

Kyungsoo is frozen with fear.

“Look, I like you. You saved me once, though you probably don’t remember. And you’ve done good work for the company. Let me help you. Come back to Hong Kong with me. I’ll take good care of you. Don’t listen to your Jongin, or Chanyeol—those men are nothing compared to me.” Kris draws him arms a bit tighter. “Don’t make the wrong choice. Come with me while you still have the chance.”

Kris’s arms feel like straitjacket around Kyungsoo. Instinctively, he gathers his strength and breaks away, his chair falling backwards to the ground in a loud crash. He backs towards the door quickly all the while shaking his head at Kris. “No, I’m not going with you. This is crazy. We’ll find the evidence.”

Kris watches silently from the ground as Kyungsoo runs out the door. The door closes behind him with a loud bang. Shut forever.

***

Kyungsoo wanders out of the building in a haze. He didn’t want to go back to the office and report to Lu Han what a failure that’d been. And he was scared—scared and confused over what Kris had said. What was he talking about? This had nothing to do with him, right?

A loud vroom snaps Kyungsoo out of his trance. He still feels as if he’s in a dream though, because before his eyes was Jongin atop a motorcycle, holding out a spare helmet.

“Uh?”

“I thought...I’d give you a ride home?” Jongin asks with a hesitant smile. “I figured you’d need a break to take your mind off things after meeting with Kris. It’s been a long day.”

It has been a long day, now that he thought about it. He couldn’t believe he had just found out about the pills last night—it seemed as if he had been fretting since forever ago. He was more than ready to go home and collapse.

“I think I’m supposed to wait for Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo says with a shake of his head.

Jongin looks crestfallen at that, his handsome face darkening in disappointment. Kyungsoo feels a little sorry—he has been pretty standoff-ish and Jongin was only trying to help. And really, he only had Jongin to rely on now anyways. “Maybe I can text him and tell him to meet me at home?”

The stupid smile returns and Kyungsoo feels oddly better. He texts Chanyeol quickly and takes the proffered helmet. They zoom off.

He doesn’t see Chanyeol running after them, almost catching up, but not quite there.

Kyungsoo holds onto Jongin gingerly. It’s as if they’ve reverted back to that first ride, when Kyungsoo wasn’t so sure what to make of the other man, whether to trust him or fear him.

But in other ways, it was different. It was no longer the dead of winter, for one. The breeze of early summer felt pleasant against the skin—the perfect season for riding a motorcycle, if there was one.

Seoul whirled past them. Little children toddling on their way home, giggling with their parents, not yet cognizant that of all the evil in the world. Old ladies walking their poofy dogs, vendors selling barbeque, cars honking at other cars in the afternoon rush hour—everything was the same as yesterday. Seoul spun on as it always did. Only Kyungsoo felt different.

He grasped at Jongin just a little tighter. There really was only Jongin now to anchor him. He didn’t know if he could forgive him, but now wasn’t the time to dwell on the past. He needed Jongin to tell him what to do, to make it all better. To provide him with that slice of comfort when everything else made him feel like it would all hopeless.

Up front, where Kyungsoo couldn’t see, Jongin smiled to himself. The goofy smile of a man in love. Invincible.

They stop before the apartment.

Jongin takes back the helmet, letting his fingers brush against Kyungsoo’s.

“Thanks,” says Kyungsoo. “I...I actually didn’t get much out of Kris today. But I’ll keep trying to help you guys.”

“Kyungsoo, don’t worry about it,” Jongin responds with a serious expression. “This has nothing to do with you, really. And don’t listen to whatever Lu Han’s been telling you. He’s an .”

“Oh. Well, I guess I won’t dispute that.”

Jongin smiles. “Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you. Bye.”

Jongin stares at Kyungsoo for another moment, looking as if he were about to make a difficult decision. Kyungsoo tilts his head in question, at which Jongin seems to decide ‘ it.’ He leans over from his seat on the motorcycle and presses a quick kiss to Kyungsoo’s cheek.

“Bye!”

And he speeds off, leaving Kyungsoo to stare after him in shock.

***

It’s almost midnight when Chanyeol stumbles back to the apartment, barely able to keep himself upright. He’s surprised to see Kyungsoo’s still awake, sitting on the couch, sleepily waiting for his return.

Kyungsoo had been worried sick. He’d been texting and calling for hours now, to no avail, and the cumulative stress of the day had made him so high-strung that he was ready to phone the police at any moment. Chanyeol’s sudden return brings Kyungsoo a direly needed sense of relief. He jumps up from the couch and rushes to Chanyeol’s side.

“Yeol, what happened? What kept you so late? Did you get any of calls and—oh my god—are you drunk?”

Chanyeol turns large unfocused eyes onto Kyungsoo and smirks. “What do you care.”

Kyungsoo frowns, “What are you talking about? Did something happen?”

“Where’s Jongin?” Chanyeol asks instead, voice slurred by alcohol. “Is he still here? In your bedroom maybe? Am I keeping you?”

“What the are you trying to say, Park Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo retorts, stunned.

“Park Chanyeol? Ha! One afternoon with that bastard and you get all huffy puffy with me? Park Chanyeol indeed...” Chanyeol chuckles drunkenly, but it’s a humorless laugh. Tears glisten in his glassy eyes. Kyungsoo notices but is too angry to sympathize.

“You’re drunk. We shouldn’t talk now. I’ll help you to your room.” Kyungsoo says tersely. But Chanyeol doesn’t comply. He stalks closer to Kyungsoo and leans down so that his breath ghosts by Kyungsoo’s ears. “And then what? Then you’ll go back to your precious Jongin?”

With Chanyeol’s hulking frame hanging over him, Kyungsoo begins to feel a twinge of fear. Which he shouldn’t, because he’s known Chanyeol forever and Chanyeol’s the most harmless human being he’s ever met. But Chanyeol’s not himself today, not with his hurtful words and invasive presence.

Kyungsoo takes a step back, trips and lands on the couch. Chanyeol smirks and towers over Kyungsoo’s prostrate form. He traps Kyungsoo between his two long legs and wraps his arms around Kyungsoo’s tiny form.

“Don’t leave me, Kyungsoo,” he whispers.

“Stop it, Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo pleads, voice trembling. “You don’t know what you’re doing. Let go.”

“Don’t say that,” Chanyeol says, all but sobbing now. He tries to snuggle closer to Kyungsoo, reverting to his puppy-like instincts even while drunk. “Don’t leave me.”

Using what seemed like the last of his strength, Kyungsoo pushes Chanyeol aside. Chanyeol crumbles on the couch, crying to himself, but Kyungsoo’s too scared to care. He runs out the door and down the stairs and into the dark, empty street.

With shaking fingers, he pulls out his cell phone from his pant pockets.

But wait... who can he even call?

His closest friend was Chanyeol; he’d never had to call anyone else for help. And really, there was no one left anyway. He didn’t have friends. He’s never had friends. Chanyeol’s been the only one who’s stuck by him all these years, and he didn’t even know why.

As the full force of the realization hit him, he felt all the adrenaline from the escape drain from him.

It really is the worst day ever, he thought as he slowly took a seat on the sidewalk. He buried his head in his arms, wondering what he should do now. Maybe he could just spend the night here. Maybe he could go back up after Chanyeol’s calmed down. Maybe he should really call Kris up on that offer to flee to Hong Kong, now was really a good time as any—

“Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo lifts his head up and stares around with bleary eyes.

“...Jongin?” Kyungsoo asks, squinting.

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing here?”

Jongin walks closer and stoops down to Kyungsoo’s level. “I was just worried, so I thought I’d come check on you.”

Worried about what? Kyungsoo wants to ask, but he’s too tired.

“You okay? Do you...need a place to stay?”

Kyungsoo’s too tired so he just nods and takes Jongin’s proffered hand and follows him into the darkness like the lost child that he was.

***

“Lu hyung, I got these in the mail this afternoon.”

“What are those?”

“They look like...financial forms?”

“Oh my god, Sehun. They’re records of cash transfers to Kim Jo Sung, the guy in government. Who sent them?”

“I don’t know. But...”

“But what?”

Sehun bites his lower lip in hesitation. “...Look at the last page.”

“.... Kyungsoo signed off on it.”